The Therapist Helping you help yourself...
Therapist At times it helps to talk about your problems. I'm not a real therapist, but I play one on the internet. Let's talk about this problem. Welcome to Phonoholics Anonymous. Anytime you feel like it, you can talk to the therapist.

"Hello. My name is Garry Nordenstam and I'm a phonoholic."

Here's what others have to say:

Dear Therapist,

Hello, just wanted to share my current addiction. When I was young, about five perhaps, I received a Victor I machine for a birthday present. Four years ago, I inherited a larger model Victor I, oak case with matching oak horn. Recently, I purchased a Victor II with black flower horn from an Internet source. The seller was Rose & Gracey's Antiques, as posted at www.TalkingMachines.com. I'm addicted to checking out their website because they will feature a restored Victor V machine sometime this week. In near future, they'll offer a restored Victor IV. These two machines will both feature spear-tip horns; V in oak, and IV in mahogany. Prices, if keeping with previous sells, will be $4,950 for the V and $4,750 for the IV. (I used up $2,580 inheritance money to purchase the II). I'm obsessed with thoughts of buying either the IV or the V! I think about it night and day! Matters are complicated greatly because I haven't the money to buy another outside horn Victor! Forthcoming Federal Income rebate will hardly put a dent into a near-five thousand dollar investment! I've been entertaining fantasies of taking out a bank loan; selling whatever, including myself! Oh, well, it helps to vent the frustration, so thanks for letting me do it here!

Regards,

Jim

Dear Jim,

The Therapist thinks you are showing obvious signs of phono-addictive behavior. The good news is that you are not yet in an advanced state. This is recognizable in your desire for only one of the machines. If you were in an advanced state, you would be obsessed with acquiring both Victors. While pondering options to finance your latest fixation, you admit that you have considered selling various items, including yourself. This is troubling. Perhaps you need to look deep inside yourself to find the solution. Remember, the Dervish spin to find nirvanna. Phonographs spin records. Your nirvanna may be in the ultimate purchase of one or both of these Victors. Only then will you conquer your obsession and become the Victor over your fixation. I wish you luck. Please keep us posted on your progress.

Respectfully,

The Therapist


Dear Therapist,

Just wanted to share my appreciation for your expert analysis regarding my phono-addiction. To update the matter, I'd like to share the following information: To begin, there's still hope for a complete, or at least, partial recovery. This all comes due to my definite plans to purchase a restored Victor IV in a few months. This all stems from recent attempts to purchase the restored Victor V! I made four long-distance [frantic] phone calls to Rose & Gracey's to inquire about the status of their fine machine. I danced very close to the flame, but failed to commit after learning of a few minor imperfections. The good news comes with hope that I'll be able to buy a forthcoming Victor IV. Money? Who showed me the money? Well, ya know, mothers can be a big help to their wayward sons if they really understand the situation at hand. Basically, she said if that's what it takes to make you happy, so be it. What was I to say? I see it as an investment--the vintage machines can only go up in price! And besides, I want to make Mom happy she made me happy. Hope this update might help others like myself.

Regards,

Jim

Dear Jim,

Thank you for the update. I've heard it said, "If momma ain't happy -- ain't nobody happy." It now appears that momma is happy and that you are happy. Which leads to the question, "Is everybody happy?" I know I am. If you feel the need, we can talk any time.

Best regards,

The Therapist


Dear Therapist,

Everyone in Nipperland will be barking that I finally found the Victor the Fourth I'd been searching for. On Sunday night, 5-3-98, I won "old cranky's" offering on eBay--Internet auction site, of a restored Victor IV with matching mahogany cabinet. This machine is in its highest upgrade, hornwise, since it features the large, speartip horn. I will no longer need a therapist should all arrive safely from an across-the-country trip. If there's any trouble with the shipment, please reserve the couch for me for another session!

Regards,

Jim

Dear Jim,

It pleases The Therapist to know that your journey has reached an end.  However, the monster can lie dormant and then suddenly rear it's ugly head -- demanding that you seek out yet another phonograph.  If that happens, the couch will be available.

Best regards,

The Therapist


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