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"Monkees on the Ranch"

By: Mickys411 and Larrysgirl Rated PG

It was a just a regular day at the pad, the guys had just finished practicing for an up-coming gig, when they heard a knock at the door.
"I'll get it," said Mike.
He stopped playing his guitar, placed it down to answer the door.
He opened it to see Bobby the mailman was there.
"Hey Bobby, what's new?" asked Mike.
"Same old same old Mike," Bobby answered back, handing Mike some mail.
"Thanks bud," said Mike accepting the mail.
He sat down at the kitchen table, as did Micky, Davy and Peter to see if they got anything.
Mike sorted the mail.
"Bill, bill, bill, junk, junk, junk," he said.
Just then, Mike noticed a letter addressed to him.
"Hey fellas, I got a letter from my cousin Sam."
"Who's Sam?" asked Peter.
"Wasn't that the cousin who used to call himself Spike?" asked Davy.
"That's him," said Mike.
The guys remembered when Sam came to visit the guys, that's when he called himself Spike, and mooched off the guys, but since then had changed a lot since.
And still keeps in touch with the guys since then.
"I wonder what's new with Sam," said Micky.
Mike read the letter.
"Dear Mike,
I hope all is well with you and your band mates.
Everyone is doing well, except for one thing.
There's no staff at the house.
You see Aunt Kate AKA MOM has had to fire all her staff, due all kinds of events stealing, damaging property, and mistreating the animals on the ranch.
And it all started when MOM hired some creepy looking butler named Ted.
Just between you and me, I know he had something to do with all the firings.
However, Mom thinks he's the best staff member she ever hired.
In fact, cousin Lucy doesn't trust this guy either.
Do you think you can come to Texas and help us get rid of this weirdo?

Sincerely,
Sam


"Looks like Sam needs our help," said Davy.
"I thought it was Kate who needs help," said Peter.
"Well, somebody in needs our help," said Micky.
"Never mind, we gotta head to Texas," said Mike.

So the rest of that day, the guys prepared for their trip. Mike went to the post office and filled out a form for the mailman to hold their mail for them. Micky checked out the Monkeemobile to make sure it was ready for the long trip. Davy called all his girlfriends to tell them he'd be away for a while, and Peter went over to Mrs. Prudy's house and asked her to water his Begonias.
Later on, the guys met back in the living room.
"Well, I guess we've taken care of everything." Mike said.
"Except for one thing." Davy replied.
"What's that?" Peter asked.
"We didn't pack."

So the guys went into their bedrooms and began to throw their clothes into suitcases. Micky had so much stuff, he had a hard time closing his suitcase!
"Can you give me a hand here, Mike?" Micky said, trying to sit on his suitcase.
"What do you want me to do?" Mike asked, walking over.
"Sit on the suitcase while I lock it."
Mike did what Micky told him to do, but soon could feel the suitcase try to open under him.
"Hurry up, Micky!" Mike said, "I don't think I can hold this bronco down for much longer!"
"The latch is stuck!" Micky said, trying to push it closed.
Suddenly, the suitcase opened up, sending Mike crashing to the floor!
"Are you ok, Mike?" Micky asked, trying to stifle a laugh.
"Tell you what." Mike growled, "YOU sit on the suitcase and I'LL do the latch!"
"Ok, Mike."
So Micky sat on the suitcase and Mike finally got it locked. The two Monkees stood there and admired their work.
"We did it partner." Micky smiled as he and Mike shook hands.
Suddenly, the latch sprung open and showered Mike and Micky with clothes!
"You were saying, Mick?"

Peter and Davy were in their bedroom packing clothes as well.
"Why do you carefully fold everything, Peter?" Davy asked with amusement. He was long done packing and sat on his bed watching the blond bassist pack. "It's all gonna be wrinkled when we get there anyway."
"I want to make sure I have room for souvenirs." Came Peter's simple reply.
"Oh, right." Davy smiled, "Lots of souvenirs to be had at a ranch." He looked at the clock on his nightstand.
"Blimey! Look at the time!" He exclaimed, "We gotta do that gig tonight!"
Davy ran out of the bedroom and shouted up the hurricane steps.
"Hey you two, it's getting late and we have a gig tonight!"
Mike and Micky came out onto the balcony, various clothes draped over them.
"We'll get ready now, Davy." Mike said.
"What happened to you two?" Davy asked.
"Um...wardrobe malfunction." Micky replied, looking at Mike.
"Yeah, that's it." Mike added, pulling Micky back into the bedroom. "See you downstairs."

That night the guys played at the Hippy Chick Club to a sell-out crowd. When the guys made it back to the pad, they immediately went to sleep, as they had to start out early on their trip to Texas.

The guys drove for three days as they headed for Texas.
Mike called his family the night before he and the guys arrived, to receive good and bad news.
The good news was from his aunt saying everyone is doing well.
The bad news came from Sam and Lucy. Aunt Kate has fallen in love with Ted, and they discovered that Ted's last name was Cartwheel.
"What a minute, did you say the guy's name was Cartwheel?" Davy asked Mike, when he got off the phone.
"Do you think he's related to Black Bart?" asked Peter.
"Maybe Cartwheel is a well knew name in Texas," said Micky.
"Sam checked, Ted is indeed the cousin of Ben Cartwheel," said Mike.
"So what are we gonna do?" asked Peter.
"We'll see when we get there," said Mike.

The next morning, the Monkees drove over to Mike's Aunt's house. It wasn't long before the large ranch house came into view.
"Wow, what a place." Peter commented.
"Yeah, Aunt Kate has done quite well for herself after finding oil on her land." Mike replied. "Now, we gotta make sure she doesn't lose what she has once again."
"Don't worry, Mike." Micky said confidently, "We defeated the Cartwheels before and we'll handle this cousin of theirs."
"Plus, we have Sam and Lucy helping us too." Davy added.
Mike smiled as he pulled the Monkeemobile into the long driveway leading up to the house.

Mike parked the car, the Monkees got out and approached the front door. Mike then knocked on the door.
The door opened and there stood a young girl with long blonde hair, wore a plaid dress and looked around the same age as The Monkees.
"Cousin Mike, is that you?" asked the girl.
"Yes Cousin Lucy, is that you?"
"Yes, I haven't seen you since your last visit here."
Mike gave his cousin a hug, then Lucy invited him and the guys in.
Lucy remembered Peter, Micky and Davy from when they came to visit and saved the ranch from Black Bart. Just then, they heard a voice.
"Lucy, who's at the front door?" called the voice.
It turned out to be Sam.
"Mike, you made it,” said Sam, “and you bought your band mates too."
Sam gave the guys each a handshake.
"Say, is Aunt Kate here?" asked Mike.
"Ted took her out for a ride into town," said Sam.
"Has Kate really fallen in love with Ted?" asked Peter.
"Yes, he has." said Lucy.
"And he's really causing more trouble than we thought," said Sam.
"Don't worry, we'll help you get rid of this creep," said Davy, putting an arm around Lucy, before getting a stern look from Mike.
"Yeah, all we ought to do is to come up with a plan,” said Micky.

As the Monkees settled into their rooms, Mike and Peter to one, while Micky and Davy to the other one, the guys, Lucy and Sam sat in the living room figuring out what they were going to do about Ted Cartwheel, and how to tell Kate that he was not a good guy without hurting her.
"What are we going to do?" asked Lucy.
"Yeah, Mom said, despite the name Ted's a good person," said Sam.
"Well now, all we have to do is catch Ted doing something up to no good," said Micky.
"Sounds like a good plan, but that would be impossible," said Lucy.
"How come?" Peter asked.
"Ted always acts like an angel around Mom," said Sam.
"Then how was he able to do all that stuff, without her finding out?" asked Mike.
"He would plan the other help's items at the scene of the crime."
"That is sneaky of him," said Davy.
The group was so involved with their discussion, that they didn't hear the front door open.
"Hell-o, Lucy, Sam anyone home?" called a feminine voice.
They all turned to see Kate walk in, with Ted at her side.
Kate was surprised to see the Monkees were there.
"Mike! What a surprise!" She exclaimed, letting go of Ted's hand and walking over to him. Mike got up and gave his aunt a big hug and a kiss.
"Nice to see you again, Aunt Kate." Mike said, "We decided to pop in for a visit."
"Oh, that's so nice!" Kate replied, then looked at the other Monkees. "I'm glad to see you too, Micky, Peter and Davy."
"Same here, ma'am." Davy said
Kate turned to Ted. "Ted, this is my nephew Mike Nesmith and his friends, Micky Dolenz, Peter Tork and Davy Jones. Boys, this is my friend Ted Cartwheel."
"Hi Ted." The Monkees replied, trying to be polite.
Ted gave a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.
"Hi boys. I've heard your names before. My cousin Ben and his boys had a little problem with y'all."
Everybody looked at each other a little uncomfortably, then Ted gave a laugh.
"Now, don't you worry none." He said, as he gave each Monkee a bone-crushing handshake. "Ben was always one sneaky Cartwheel, but this Cartwheel rides straight."
"Whatever you say, Ted." Micky gasped as he flexed his hand, trying to see if would work again.
Ted looked closely at Mike. "My, you and your cousin Sam could pass for twins."
"Yeah, there is a resemblance." Mike admitted.
"Lucy, I hope you have extra plates set for dinner." Kate told her daughter.
"Sure do, Ma." Lucy replied, "The beef stew is ready too."
"Oh good." Kate said, "I don't know what possessed our cook to try and steal all our food. I had to fire him and Lucy has had to do the cooking."
"Steal the food?" Peter asked.
"Yeah, the varmint had it all stuffed in the trunk of his car." Ted replied.
"Enough of that now." Kate said, "Let's go eat."
So everyone went into the dining room. Ted sat next Kate of course and Lucy on her other side. Dinner went quietly, with everyone making small talk. Mike tried to notice anything Ted said that would give him a clue as to what was going on, but he was very polite and gracious to everyone.
After dinner, Lucy suggested that her Mom and Ted go for a ride, while she, Sam and the Monkees did the dishes. So while they were gone, the six of them began to plot.
"I don't know." Peter began. "Ted does seem like a nice man."
"Yeah, but only while Mom's around." Sam said, "He barely speaks to Lucy and me when Mom's gone."
"We have to spy on Ted to see how he's doing damage and framing the help for it." Davy said, putting a dish away.
"He must have some sort of pass key to get into their rooms." Lucy replied.
"We'll have to keep our eyes open when we're out on the ranch. Maybe follow the two of them around." Micky said.
Mike started to get an idea. "Sam, do you hang out with Ted at all?"
"Well, now that the help's gone, he and I have been doing some chores around here together. Why?"
"Ted noticed how much we resemble each other." Mike replied, "I wonder if you and I could change places once again and that way I can keep an eye on Ted."
Sam thought about that. "Yeah, it could work." He said slowly, "I've been taking a few guitar lessons since I tried to take your place at the club the last time. Maybe if you be me for awhile, get him to trust you, you can find out what's he's really up to."
"Sounds risky." Lucy said quietly, "If Ted's capable of doing all this bad stuff at the ranch, he might be capable of violence too."
"Ted is trying to charm his way into your Mom's heart, and from what you've told us, I don't think it's for love." Davy said to Lucy.
"We gotta find proof Ted is up to no good, before something happens." Micky added.
"What could happen?" Lucy asked.
Suddenly, the six of them heard Kate and Ted coming into the dining room.
"Lucy! Sam! Monkees!" Kate called out, very much excited.
The six of them ran out into the dining room, to find Kate and Ted standing there, arm in arm and looking quite happy.
"What's the matter, Mom?" Sam asked.
"Ted has asked me to marry him!" Kate exclaimed.
"And she's accepted!" Ted replied, a smug look on his face.
Lucy, Sam and the Monkees were still quite in shock by the news about Kate and Ted being engaged. Though everyone celebrated the great news, Sam, Lucy and the Monkees only pretended to be happy.

"Get the lemonade, Lucy!" Kate said, "And we'll have a toast!"
Trying not to let her sadness show, Lucy got a pitcher of lemonade and eight glasses. Soon, everyone was toasting the happy couple.
"To the most beautiful woman in the world." Ted said with a smile, then kissed Kate.
Everyone else just smiled and drank up.

Later on, Mike and Sam met in secret in Sam's room. Mike was changing into Sam's clothes. When he was done, he handed his green wool hat to his cousin.
"Take care of that hat now." Mike said with a smile.
"I sure hope this works, cousin Mike." Sam said quietly as he put on Mike's hat.
"I'll try and hang around Ted, and act like I've changed since he and your, I mean my Mom are now engaged." Mike told his cousin.
"I'll hang out with your buddies and...and act like a Monkee, I guess." Sam replied.
"I told Micky, Peter and Davy to try and tell you stuff about me and the group." Mike said, "And hopefully I'll remember what you told me."
"Well...good luck." Sam said sticking out his hand.
"Same here, Sam." Mike replied, taking Sam's hand and shaking it.

The next morning at breakfast, there was still mixed feelings about last night from everyone.
Happiness from Kate and Ted, while Lucy, Sam and the Monkees were still shocked, not to mention edgy, but they didn't show it.
"So, what does everyone have plan for today?” asked Kate, breaking the silence.
"Well, Lucy and I got some chores to do, right sis?" asked Mike, who was pretending to be Sam.
Since Sam told Lucy about the plan last night, she answered Mike in a snap.
"Oh yes, a lot of chores," said Lucy.
"And I think I'll take the guys into town," said Sam who was pretending to be Mike.
"Sounds nice," said Kate.
"Well dear, we better start planning for our big day," said Ted.
"When is the big day?" Peter asked.
"Saturday," Kate answered.
"This Saturday at sundown," said Ted.
Lucy almost spit out her juice, and Sam nearly chocked on his eggs, while the Monkees gave very surprised looks.
"Are you two ok?” Kate asked her children.
"Yeah, Mom we're fine." Lucy replied, "This is rather sudden, don't you think?"
"Oh, we're so perfect for each other, we decided not to waste any time." Kate replied, taking Ted's hand.
The rest of breakfast passed in near silence.

After breakfast, Kate and Ted went into another room to make their wedding plans, while the others cleaned up.
"Good luck, Mike." Micky said, "Be careful."
"Yeah, I will." Mike replied, "But please call me Sam from now on."
The others nodded as 'Sam' and Lucy went out to do the farm chores. 'Mike' and the other Monkees pretended to leave, but left the Monkeemobile hidden on a side road and snuck back to the ranch.
"I hope Kate and Ted don't see us." Davy told the others.
"Don't worry fellas," Sam told them, "I know this ranch better than Ted does. The four of us can better search the ranch for clues."

Mike brought a basket of eggs into the kitchen and was storing them in the fridge when Ted walked in.
"Hi Ted." Mike said with a smile.
Ted just gave Mike a smirk and walked over to the sink for some water.
"Um, Ted? Could I talk to you?" Mike asked.
"What do you want?" Ted said, with little politeness.
"Now that you're gonna marry my Mom and all," Mike said, "I was kinda hoping we could try and get along a little better."
"Hmm...yeah, you'll be my step-son, won't you?" Ted said with a smug grin.
"True." Mike replied, "And Lucy will be your step-daughter."
Ted rubbed his chin and looked Mike over. "Once I marry your Mom I will need someone to help manage the place." He said, "I could use some help. I'm gonna make this ranch the most efficient, most profitable ranch in Texas."
"Sounds nice." Mike said with a smile. "I've always had a few ideas on how to make even more money, but Mom never wants to listen."
Ted nodded, impressed by what he was hearing. "Perhaps you and I can do some things together once your Mom and I marry."
"I think I can talk my sister into going along with whatever we do to." Mike said, "I'm sure she doesn't want to live on a ranch her whole life."
"You're probably right, Sam." Ted replied, "So, let's start over again." He said, extending his hand.
Mike smiled and shook it, though deep down he felt he was shaking hands with a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Sam was outside the barn with The Monkees, waiting to see if Ted was going to do anything.
Just then, they heard something that sounded like horse clopping.
"I bet Ted's stealing the horses," said Davy.
"Funny, I don't see anybody in the barn,” said Sam.
"Looking for something?" called a voice.
The sound made the group jump.
There stood a young man, who looked about 18 or 19 and was dressed in western wear and was holding a bouquet of flowers.
"Moe Cartwheel, what do you think you're doing here?" said Sam, sounding a bit peeved.
"Can't I visit my uncle and future aunt without you giving me lip, nester?" asked Moe.
"I thought your last name was Nesmith," Peter said to Sam.
"Nester means farmer, Peter," said Sam.
"I see you got a new group of nesters with ya," said Moe.
"Actually, we're Monkees," said Peter.
"Wait a minute, you're Ben Cartwheel's son aren't you?” Davy asked Moe, “I met you on the ranch awhile back with your brother."
"Yeah,” said Moe, “He's in jail thanks to you guys."
"We're sorry, but he wanted to steal Kate's land," said Micky.
"No, jail's actually doing him good,” said Moe, “You see, My dad and Uncle were orphaned at a young age, so they had to steal to survive, but it got them into so much trouble that they had to run away to different places to hide, until they settled here.
Then one day, Dad said to Uncle Ted he had enough of all this, so he settled down got married raised a family, but Ted still kept his habit.
Then Mom got sick, after she died Dad needed money to pay the bills, so he called on his brother to partner up and help get money, like the old days. But Uncle Ted was fuming at Dad for abandoning him. And we never saw Uncle Ted again, until recently."
Peter began to sniffle at the sad story, while Davy and Micky started to feel sorry for what they did.
But Sam didn't believe one word of it.
"Moe, that's sounds almost like the same story your uncle told Mom, when he came to work for her," said Sam.
"You know, you're pretty smart Nesmith,” said Moe walking towards the house, “Maybe too smart."
"Um, Moe?" Sam asked.
"What Nesmith?" Sam replied, stopping to look at him.
"Don't tell my Mom or Ted we're out here because we're planning a surprise party for the two of them."
"We are?" Peter asked, but Micky stepped on his foot.
"Oh, all right." Moe said, shaking his head, "But no more lip from you or you buddies."
"No more lip, gotcha." Sam said.
Moe turned and went into the house.
"I'd like to give him a fat lip." Sam muttered.
"This is gonna complicate things with him here." Davy said.
"Did you hear what Moe said about Sam being too smart?" Micky asked.
The others nodded, not liking the comment one bit either.
"The way Moe talks, his Dad has gone straight and Ted is the bad guy." Davy said.
"Let's look around the barn." Sam told the others.
They went inside the barn. It was a large structure with haylofts around the inside wall. Toward the back were stalls with a few horses inside. Davy petted one of the animals.
"What a beautiful animal." Davy whispered.
Suddenly, there was a banging noise coming from one of the haylofts.
"Let's go check it out!" Sam said to the others.
But as they started to walk towards one of the ladders, a bunch of hay fell down on them! In seconds, they were buried in hay!
"What's going on?" Peter shouted.
The men heard footsteps running out of the barn. By the time they had clawed free, whoever was in the hayloft was long gone.
The three Monkees and Sam ran outside but whoever it was had since disappeared. However, Micky noticed boot prints by the door.
"Look at this!" He exclaimed, pointing down.
"Whoever it was, had large feet." Peter remarked.
"They appear to be heading toward the house." Sam said.
The four men followed the prints, but after a little while, the prints faded away.
"Well, that was a dead end." Davy said.
"Let's check the barn again." Sam told the others.
Once again, the men went into the barn and up into the hayloft. Hidden in a back corner were cans of gasoline!
"The barn would've been destroyed if the gas in those cans had been lit!" Sam said in shock and anger.
"Whoever it was, he must've dropped one of the cans." Micky said, "That was the noise we heard."
"Let's show my Mom this." Sam said.
"We can't, we're supposed to be in town." Davy replied.
"At least let's hide this stuff so it can't be used." Sam said, shaking his head.
So the four men quickly brought the cans down from the loft and hid them in a locked storage shed far away from anything flammable.
"At least we prevented more trouble." Micky remarked.
The others agreed and went to explore more of the ranch.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Mike, Lucy, Kate and Ted were talking with Moe Cartwheel. Neither Mike nor Lucy liked Moe, but could do nothing about him being here. Ted, however, was delighted to see his nephew.
"I sure am glad to see you, my boy." Ted said.
"Thank you for the flowers, Moe." Kate added.
"It's a pleasure, Missus Nesmith." Moe said with an oily smile, "I sure am glad to know you'll be my kin soon."

The gang spent a good amount of time searching around the ranch to see if they could find anything fishy.
However, they came up dry. They even split up to cover more ground, but found nothing.
"Well, I had no luck,” said Sam, “What about you guys?"
"Nope," said Peter.
"Me neither," said Micky.
"You know, I just thought of something," said Davy.
"What's that?" asked Sam.
"I got a feeling Moe put those gas cans in the barn, to set the barn on fire and blame it on us."
"Yeah, I bet Ted told him to do it," said Micky.
"At least we saved one event from happening,” said Sam, “Now what are we going to do about Ted and Mom's wedding?"
"Well, it's Tuesday, is it too late to find a caterer?" asked Peter.
"I think Sam meant to stop the wedding Peter," said Davy.
"Oh yeah, sorry."

Meanwhile, inside the house, Mike and Lucy put on brave faces and tried not to say anything, whenever Moe told one of his tale tales.
Kate excused herself to get some iced tea for everyone and Ted went to help her.

"Wait, Moe had gone into the house when we heard the noise!" Micky told the others. "So it couldn't have been him trying to set the barn on fire."
"Didn't Moe have a brother?" Davy asked. "When we faced Black Bart that time, he had two others with him."
"Yeah, perhaps Moe distracted us while his brother went to start the fire." Sam said.
It was quiet for a few moments until Peter spoke up again.
"Let's look around for more footprints." He said.

Inside the house, Mike and Lucy were pretty bored listening to Moe's tall tales.
"I'll go help Aunt...I mean Mom and Ted with the ice tea." Mike said to the others.
Before anyone could reply, Mike got up and walked into the kitchen. When he got there, he spotted Ted mixing the ice tea and Kate, her back to Ted, getting out some glasses. Neither of them had heard Mike come in.
Mike noticed Ted kept looking behind him at Kate and decided to stay hidden.
With a smile, Ted poured the ice tea into the glasses, then while Kate went to get napkins, Ted reached into his pocket, took out a vial of powder and poured it into one of the glasses! Thinking fast, Mike went over to Ted.
"Oh, let me help you with those glasses, Ted!" Mike said with a smile.
"No, that's alright, Sam." Ted replied, "I'll get a tray for them."
"No, I insist!" Mike said, trying to grab the glass with the powder in it from him. But Ted wouldn't let go.
"I said, I'll take it!" Ted replied, getting angry.
"What are you two arguing about?" Kate said, walking over to them.
Mike then 'accidentally' tipped the glass, spilling most of it into the sink.
"Hey, that was my drink!" Ted shouted.
Yeah, right, Mike thought as he looked at his Aunt.
"I just wanted to help Ted, Mom." Mike said. "I'm sorry, Ted."
"Well, Ted and I will take these three glasses into the living room and you'll have to make another glass for yourself." Kate told him. "And no more arguing."
"Sure Mom, sorry." Mike said.
Ted glared at Mike, and Mike pretended to look sorry. He really wanted to smirk at Ted, but still had to pretend he was Sam. Ted and Kate walked back into the living room.

Later on, while Kate and Lucy washed the glasses out, Moe walked over to Ted.
"Did you put that sleeping powder in the old lady's drink, Uncle Ted?" Moe asked.
"No, that fool Sam spilled it for me." Ted snarled, "He said he was going to try to get along with me, but it seems he spilled that drink on purpose."
"Hmm...well, I think I better tell ya that those Monkees are sneaking around the ranch, looking for clues."
"What?" Ted asked in shock, "I thought they were in town."
"No, I guess Sam's been tellin' them what's going on and they're investigating."
"With Kate asleep, I was going to do more damage around her ranch, but now with those Monkees around, I'll have to be a lot more careful." Ted said. "Did you brother set the barn on fire yet?"
"Doesn't look like it." Moe replied.
Ted let out a disgusted sigh. "Once again, those Monkees are going to make things difficult for us Cartwheels."
"Don't worry, Uncle Ted." Moe said, "If they cause any more problems..." He made a cutting motion under his chin with his hand.
Ted and his nephew laughed.
Little did Ted and Moe knew, Mike had overheard what the two were saying.
"I better go warn the guys," he said, running out the door.
Mike rushed to the barn, hoping that Peter, Micky, Davy and Sam were still hanging around there looking for clues, and he was glad to see that they were there.
"Mike, what's wrong?” asked Davy, when he saw his band mate racing into the barn. Mike told the guys what Moe and Ted are up to, and gang and Sam told Mike about the gas cans they found.
"We gotta come up with a plan to help Mom," said Sam.
"Boy, those Cartwheels are some trouble makers," said Peter.
"Well, they won’t get away with it," said Micky.
"Oh really?" said a voice.
The five turned to a shadowy figure.

They saw a young man wearing a cowboy hat standing in the doorway. He had a smug look on his face and a gun in his hand.
"Mule Cartwheel!" Sam exclaimed, "What are you doing here?"
"I decided to visit my uncle Ted too and help him get control of this here ranch." Mule said.
"You tried to set the barn on fire before, didn't you?" Davy asked.
"Yep that was me, but you fellas had to come snooping around, but that's ok, I'll finish the job now." Mule replied.
"How?" Micky asked. "We hid the gasoline."
"Who needs gasoline?" Mule said, taking out a cigarette lighter, "This hay is dry as a bone." He motioned with his gun.
"Now move on back into the barn."
The five men obeyed and Mule flicked the lighter on.
"After I drop this lighter, I'll go tell my future Aunt I found you boys setting this barn on fire, but couldn't stop you."
"She won't believe you." Mike snapped.
"She'll believe me." Ted said as he walked into the barn, a gun also in his hand, "She'll believe anything I say, and I'll back Mule up. Too bad you boys were burned doing this awful deed."
With a wicked grin, Mule started to drop the lighter...
"Wait, Ted and Mule!" Mike cried, "I wanna be a part of this too! I told you I have plans to make us all rich!"
"What's he talking about, Uncle Ted?" Mule asked.
"He told me before he wanted to work with me, said he had some ideas, but his Mom didn't want to listen." Ted replied.
"I'll prove it!" Mike said, "Let me get rid of these city boys for ya and I'll help you take over my Mom's ranch."
Sam and the other three Monkees looked at Mike and hoped he knew what he was doing.
"Alright, I'll give you a chance." Ted said slowly. "I'll let you take care of them. That way, we'll have something on you so you can't betray us."
"Ok, sounds fine to me." Mike nodded.
"What will you do to them?" Mule asked.
"Let me have your gun." Mike said.
Mule looked at Ted. The older man nodded.
"Go ahead; I have my gun on him." Ted said.
Mule reluctantly gave Mike his gun and Mike pointed it at Sam and the other Monkees.
"Let's go, we're going a little trip."
"Oh, I like trips." Peter said.
"I think Sam means a one-way trip, Peter." Micky said.
Mike took his cousin and band mates to an area a little distance from the barn and made them lie down in a ditch, while Ted and Mule watched from a short distance away.
Suddenly they heard a gun go off four times and then Mike slowly walked back to the two men. He handed the gun back to Mule.
"Here's your gun, partner."
Mule and Ted were surprised to see what Mike had done.
"Well, am I in?" Mike asked.
Mule and Ted nodded their heads and said, "You're in."
Little did the group of men know that while they were talking, Sam and the Monkees climbed out of the ditch and headed back into the house to warn Lucy and Kate about what was happening out by the barn.
When they got back into the house, they saw Moe sitting with Kate and Lucy.
"Well you boys are back from town early," said Kate.
"Mom, call the police," said Sam.
"Mike, why did you call me Mom?"
"That's really Sam, Mom," said Lucy.
"That's right, and Mike's pretending to be me," said Sam.
"Where is Mike?' asked Kate.
"He's outside with Ted and Mule," said Peter.
"Causing trouble," said Micky.
"Just call the police, and we'll explain everything," said Davy.
"Why?" asked Kate.
Before anyone could answer, Ted, Mike and Mule entered the house.
"I thought you guys went for a long trip," said Mule.
"Kate, call the police on these trouble makers," said Ted.
"They tried to burn down the barn,” said Mule, “I saw them."
"You were trying to burn down the barn and blame it on us," said Davy.
"Is this true?" Kate asked.
"And what if is?" asked Moe.
"So your brother did try to burn down my barn!" said Kate.
"Enough of this!" yelled Ted.
He then grabbed Kate, raced outside the house, followed by Mule and Mule, and took off in Ted's stagecoach.
"We gotta save Mom!" said Lucy.
"Sam you and Lucy stay here and call the police, we'll go save Aunt Kate." said Mike.
The Monkees were about to head out the door, when Sam stopped them.
"Wait! I'm coming with you!" he said.
So Sam ended up going with Mike, Micky and Davy, while Peter stayed with Lucy.

Mike drove the Monkeemoblie as fast as he could to catch up with the Cartwheels.
"As soon as you drive close enough to the wagon, I'll jump on and save Mom," said Sam, who was sitting up front with Mike.
"Ok, but be careful," said Mike.
"I think we're getting as close enough as we can to the wagon," said Micky.
"I'm going for it," said Sam.
"Watch out!" Davy called from the backseat.
Sam carefully climbed out of his seat, and did a jump, grabbing on to the back of the wagon.

Meanwhile, inside the wagon, Kate was trying to break from Ted's grip.
"I should had known, you Cartwheels are all the same!" she said.
"Quiet woman, we'll let you go, as soon as you hand over the deed to your ranch to us," said Ted.
"Then we get we get all that oil," said Mule.
"And we'll be rich," said Moe.

Back at home, Lucy and Peter called the police and soon enough, several cars arrived from the station.
"Did you say the man's name was Ted Cartwheel?" asked the police chief.
"Yes sir," said Lucy.
"About time somebody caught up with that guy," said an officer.
"You've been looking for him?" asked Peter.
"We've been after him for years.
We were only lucky enough to arrest Ben, but now we finally got the missing brother.
"I'm afraid you're too late officers, they took off down the road," said Lucy.
"Maybe we can catch up to them," said the chief.
And at that moment, the chief and the officers headed back to their cars and took off in search of Ted Cartwheel. Peter and Lucy rode with the chief.

Meanwhile, the other Monkees were still trying to keep up with the Cartwheel's stagecoach, while Sam still holding on to the back, and was about to climb inside the wagon, when Mule and Moe pushed him off.
Sam landed flat on the ground, Mike swerved the car and stopped it, so he won't hit his cousin.
"Sam, are you ok?" asked Mike, climbing out of the car, followed by Davy and Micky.
At that moment the police, Lucy and Peter arrived.
"Did you catch them?" asked Lucy.
"I did, but those Cartwheel boys tossed me off," said Sam.
All of sudden, there was a loud crash.
Everyone turned to see that the wagon had crashed into a tree.
Sam's face turned pale and frightened, while Lucy gasped in horror and began to cry.
Mike approached his family and began to comfort them.
Davy, Peter and Micky stood there, being speechless, due to not knowing what to say.
Just then, the door of the wagon opened and out stepped Kate.
Everyone was happy and relieved.
Mike and his cousins rushed up to Kate and hugged her, and asking if she was ok.
Although she was, the police took her and the Cartwheels down to the local clinic.
Kate didn't have a scratch on her; the Cartwheels did suffer minor injuries.
They were tended to, and then were sent to jail.

Ted, Moe and Mule were charged with property damage, assault, kidnapping and endangerment to others.
The three were sentenced to a total of 15-20 years each.

The guys helped around the house with Sam and Lucy, while Kate recovered from the ordeal.
"I should have known Ted was no good in the first place," said Kate.
"We're sorry Mom," said Lucy.
"It's ok, all Cartwheels are the same; mean and low down, no-good."
"At least we won't have to worry about them anymore," said Sam.
The guys stayed until the end of the week. Kate wanted to give the guys some money for what they did, but they said they she didn't have to.
Though they needed the money, they didn't feel right taking it. They did however get a generous reward for the capture of Ted Cartwheel, in which was plenty for them to get back home.
A few days after they arrived home, the guys got a letter from Sam telling them that Kate re-hired all her old staff, and things were going just wonderful.
"You know, I'm glad everything's going well for your aunt," said Davy.
"I'm glad we were able to save the ranch," said Peter.
"And those Cartwheels got what they deserved," said Micky.
"Me too fellas,” said Mike, “me too."

The End

Mike’s Mountain Drive.

By: Ginny and Lisa    Rated G


His beloved green wool-hat was sitting in the passenger seat, now forgotten as Mike Nesmith let the wind blow through his hair, tossing each lock into a strange, new style - one he was sure to be teased about when he got home.
Though Mike loved his three friends like brothers, he often enjoyed cruising in the Monkeemobile by himself. At times, he would listen to the latest tunes play over the radio, or he would spend this time coming up with songs of his own. This time the Beatles' "Can't Buy Me Love" was playing over the radio. Mike beat his thumb against the steering wheel as he listened, and soon began to sing along.
"Can't buy me love, no, no, no, no! Say you don't need no diamond rings, and I'll be....OH! What's this now?!" he grumbled.
Ahead of him was a pick-up truck going well below the speed limit. Mike kept looking around him, wanting to pass, but couldn't since they were on the curve of a mountain.
"Come on!" Mike yelled, honking his horn. "Let's go, grandma!"
Still the truck would not pick up speed.
Mike tilted his head around the corner again, pleased to see that they were coming to the end of the curve. Stepping on the accelerator, he moved into the southbound lane and flew past the pick-up. As he moved back into the north bound lane, he looked into his rear view mirror and gave a satisfied smile.
"That'll learn you!" he grinned, then settled back in his seat for an uneventful drive home. "I don't know how some of these people get their license anyway." Mike shook his head and smiled. "Talking to yourself again, Nesmith! Now let's see. Where were we?"
His hand found the dial of the radio. As he was searching for a different station, he didn't notice the same black pick-up closing the distance behind him. All of the sudden a black blur passed by him, pushing him off of the road.
Mike gripped the steering wheel with both hands and quickly got control of the vehicle. Had he not reacted quickly, he would have crashed into the side of the mountain.
He sat in stunned silence for several seconds, trying to catch his breath.
"What the...?" he gasped, and looked around. "It couldn't have been that old truck."
A scowl and a few curse words later, Mike was back on the road.
He drove for several miles, wishing he could get another look at that truck, the driver and the license plate.
Had Mike known that a wish would be granted to him at that very moment, he would have forgotten about that driver and wished for a million dollars instead. Unfortunately, it was too late to take a wish back.
When Mike went around another curve, he saw the same black pick-up facing south in the north bound lane.
"Oh, so you were waiting on me, huh?" Mike smirked. "Good, cause I wanted to have a little heart-to-heart with you too."
Suddenly the engines on the black pick-up roared to life, and Mike was sure the driver was going to turn the vehicle around and take-off again.
"Oh, no! You're not getting away from me this time!" Mike yelled.
Only to his horror, Mike realized the truck driver wasn't trying to get away from him, but instead was headed toward him!
“What the...?” Mike breathed, “Man, are you crazy?”
The black truck came closer and closer, not going fast, just a slow, steady speed. Mike realized he had to do something before there was an accident, so he swerved his car into the southbound lane...and the black truck did the same!
Beginning to panic, Mike put the car back into the northbound lane and once again, the truck mimicked his move.
“Oh, no!” Mike cried. He turned the wheel sharply and made a u-turn in the middle of the road. It was crystal-clear to Mike that the driver of the truck was planning to ram him, and that wouldn’t be good, even if they weren’t on a high mountain road. He floored the gas and started to speed back down the mountain. The black pick-up gaining behind him.
Suddenly, coming the opposite way, lights and sirens going, were two police cars, one in each lane. Relief flooded through Mike. The police would deal with the crazy driver in the pick-up. The two police cars came to a stop, blocking the road. Mike began to slow down and looked in his rear-view mirror. Happily, the truck was slowing down too...and then Mike finally noticed the red and blue lights flashing from the truck’s dashboard.
The black pick-up was an unmarked police car that Mike had passed-and had prevented Mike from getting away and herded him towards his partners in the marked cars.
Mike stopped the Monkeemobile, put it in park and shut off the motor. Then he put his head in his hands. His foolish antics had just got him in a world of trouble. A gruff voice made him look up.
“Would you mind stepping out of the car, please?” An angry-looking police officer said to him.

Micky was reading a magazine on the couch at the pad when the phone rang. With a sigh, he got up and answered it.
“Hello? Yes, this is a friend of Mr. Nesmith’s.” Micky replied. “What?! Oh my…yes, we’ll come down. Yes, thank you.” Micky put the phone back on its receiver and called out to Peter and Davy. They came out of their bedroom.
“What’s the matter?” Peter asked.
“Who was on the phone?” Davy asked, thinking the call might’ve been for him.
“It was the police.” Micky replied, starting to get upset. “Mike’s been arrested!”
“What?” Peter and Davy said together.
“What happened?” Davy asked.
“The policeman didn’t say much, but Mike was arrested on Mountain View Road,” Micky said in a rush.” And the Monkeemobile is in the pound.”
“Why would they put the Monkemobile with all the cute little cats and dogs?” Peter asked.
“Not that kind of pound, Peter.” Davy replied, rolling his eyes. He looked at Micky.
“Can he be released on bail?”
“Yeah, for two hundred dollars.” Micky said.
“Great.” Davy growled, “Just when we had enough for Babbit this month.”
“Let’s go get him.” Peter told his friends.
“I’ll go get the money.” Micky said, running upstairs.

So, by taking a bus, the three Monkees arrived at the police station to bail out Mike. The magistrate explained to them that there had been several accidents and close calls on Mountain View road over the last several months, mostly due to reckless driving. So, an unmarked police car had been patrolling the road to catch those dangerous drivers. Mike sped past such a car who then radioed his partners to make the arrest.
Thus, Mike was arrested and charged with speeding, reckless endangerment, making an illegal u-turn and passing on a double yellow line. He barely avoided the charge of fleeing police. Micky, Peter and Davy told the magistrate that Mike had never been in trouble with the law before and asked that his bail be reduced. The Magistrate agreed; but revoked Mike’s license until his court date. Standing outside the police station with his band mates, Mike looked at the ground.
“Thanks for bailing me out, guys,” Mike said quietly, “and…I’m sorry about all this. I just got impatient...” He voice trailed off.
“And did something foolish.” Micky finished angrily, “You could’ve been dead at the bottom of a cliff right now!”
“Because of you, after we get the Monkeemobile out of the pound, we won’t have any money left for Babbit!” Davy added, a bit of anger in his voice.
“But...but Mike’s ok, that’s what’s important, right?” Peter asked. “He’s not dead and he’s learned his lesson, right Mike?”
Mike lifted his head and nodded at Peter. Micky and Davy looked at each other and smiled.
“Leave it to Peter to find the bright side of things.” Davy smiled, then joined Micky and Peter in giving Mike a group hug. Then they walked over to the city pound for the car.
When Mike had his day in court, the Magistrate ordered him to attend a driver’s safety course and imposed a heavy fine. After Mike had completed the courses, he finally got his driver’s license back and from then on, he was a very careful-and patient-driver.

THE END

That's it for the fics on this site!  But don't be sad, there's more at my other Monkees' site! http://home.earthlink.net/~glickchick2/index.html