By: Mickys411, Larrysgirl and theBetty2   Rated G

One evening, The Monkees were loading the Monkee-mobile up to get to a gig at The Night Owl Lounge.
It was actually a bar at the bowling alley, but they hadn't had a job in a few weeks, but a gig was a gig, so they took it.
After getting into the car, Mike turned on the ignition key and something happened.
The car didn't start.
"I don't believe this,” said Mike, “The car died out."
"Aw man, not again," said Micky.
"I thought you just got it back from the shop," Davy said to Mike.
"I did," Mike answered.
"Maybe it's out of gas," said Peter.
"Can't be I filled it up at the station."
The car actually hadn't been running well for the last few days.
"Wait a minute,” said Micky, “I remember a trick. Count to ten, then hit the dashboard.”
Mike did just that, and sure enough, the car started up again.
"Hey it worked," said Mike.
"Groovy, we can make it to the gig," said Peter.
"Who taught you that trick?" Davy asked Micky.
"My auto mechanic teacher," Micky answered back.

Later that evening, when the guys were leaving the bowling alley, the car wouldn’t start up again. Mike did the trick Micky told him earlier, and something did happened.
The car didn't start up, but the radio went on.
"I told the witch doctor I was in love with you. I told the witch doctor you didn't love me so," sang Alvin and Chipmunks through the speakers.
"It didn't work," said Mike.
"Try it again," said Micky.
"But I like this song,” said Peter, who began to sing along, "Oh eh oh ah ah ting tang whala whala bing bang oh eh oh ah ah ting tang whala whala bing bang."
Mike counted to ten and hit the dashboard again, but it only changed the radio station, instead of making the car run.
"Everybody's doing a brand new dance now, come on baby do the locomotion," went the radio.
Mike attempted the trick a few more times, only to hear the chicken dance, yodeling, the song "Louie Louie", a song or two from the Beatles, and the Mexican hat dance, until the radio suddenly stopped.
"You know, I think the car just died," said Davy.
"You think?" said Micky.
"Come on fellas, this is not the time to argue," said Mike.
"So what are we going to do?' asked Peter.
"Well first off, we gotta get out of the car," said Mike.
"Why?"
"Since we're nowhere near an auto shop or phone, we're gonna have to push the car home.”
And that's what they did.

The four tired Monkees dragged their gear into the pad and plopped down on the sofas.
"Boy am I tired." Davy said with a yawn.
"Tired from what?" Mike demanded, "You sat in the car and steered!"
"It was hard turning that wheel with no power steering." Davy retorted.
"We either got to get the car fixed properly or get a new one." Micky said, forestalling any more arguing.
"I don't think we can afford a new one." Peter said.
"Or even a used one." Davy added.
"How about bicycles?" Micky asked, "We could strap the stuff onto our backs and ride to the gigs that way!"
The look the others gave him made Micky shrink back against the couch.
"Just an idea." He said meekly.
"Let's go to bed." Mike told the others, "We can think of what to do when we're rested.
So the guys went to bed. They fell asleep almost right away…
Mike heard a thud that woke him from a deep sleep. It was Micky falling from the window sill. An eerie fog had followed him into the room.
“What are you doing climbing in the window like that?” Mike asked.
“I forgot to unlock the door when I went outside,“ an uptight Micky said.
“What did you go outside for?’ Mike asked.
Micky said that he didn’t know, because he had been asleep.
Micky told Mike that the car had chewed his head off. Well, not really, obviously, ‘cause Micky still had his head, but it had left jaw marks on his sides that he showed to Mike.
“That's quite a jaw that thing has.” Mike said.
“She wants you, Mike.” Micky said. “She wants you now.”
“Oh, she does, does she?” Mike said, eyeing Micky, curiously.
Micky insisted that Mike accompany him outside.
Mike woke Davy and told him to bring Peter.
“We’ve gotta go see what the car wants. “ Mike told Davy.
A nearly oblivious Davy said, “Okay”, and tried to wake Peter who resisted and then rolled over.
Davy tried again. Peter got up, stretched out his arms and sleep-walked to the door.
Outside, the fog was almost knee high; but Mike could still see the Monkeemobile’s headlights as they blinked.
“It’s about time,” she said. Then she proceeded to state her case to Mike. She told him that she felt that he, and the other Monkees, had been taking her for granted; that her care, in her opinion, was sub par.
Mike snickered. “This is a dream!” he said. “I’m dreaming!”
Micky insisted that it was not a dream.
“Micky,” Mike said. “Cars don’t talk, and they don’t bite either.”
Micky anxiously asked, “ Oh, yea? Well, if you’re dreaming, than what am I doing here?”
“You’re not here, Micky,” Mike said.
“Than where am I?” Micky asked.
“You’re in the bed next to mine dreaming about a Frodis that came here in a spaceship.” Mike said. Then he turned away from the objecting car, and drummer, and went back into the pad.
His eyes were half-closed as he walked passed, what he thought he saw in his peripheral vision as, a still-asleep Peter feeding his pet -- a Frankenstein-like creature.
Mike continued to the stairs, and, with nearly closed eyes, he started to go up toward his bed, as if on automatic pilot; as fog filled the pad through the, still open, door…

Mike woke up with a start and rolled off the bed.
"Ouch." He said, as he slowly got up and rubbed his backside. He looked around and saw that it was morning. Micky was slightly snoring in his bed. Mike shook his head.
"Man, what a dream." He thought to himself. "I must've been really tired to think that the car was talking to me." Mike washed, shaved and went down to get some breakfast.
Peter was already there and handed him a cup of coffee.
"Good morning, Mike." Peter said, "Sleep well?"
"Had a funky dream." Mike said and told Peter what it was about. Peter smiled.
"Wouldn't it be groovy if a car could tell you what was wrong with it?" He asked.
"Yeah, it would." Mike agreed. "It would save us a bundle on mechanic's bills trying to figure out what was wrong."
Suddenly, they heard a car horn.
"Who would be honking their horn at this hour?" Mike asked his friend, "It's Saturday anyway."
The car horn sounded again.
"Who's honking the horn?" Davy asked sleepily, coming from his bedroom.
"I dunno." Mike said as the car horn sounded again. "But I'm getting tired of it."
This time the sound even woke Micky up.
"What's going on?" He asked with a yawn.
"Somebody's honking their car horn." Mike answered and the horn beeped once again.
"You know, I think that sounds like 'our' car horn." Davy said.
The car horn beeped once more. Mike looked at Davy.
"You could be right." He said and ran out to the driveway, followed by his band mates.
All was quiet as the guys looked over their car. Suddenly, the car horn beeped once again; but nobody was inside!
"AHHH!" The Monkees screamed and ran away.
After several minutes, they gathered up their nerve and approached the car again.
"BEEP!" The horn sounded.
The guys hid behind the bushes. They were all shaking.
"The car is haunted!" Mike whispered to his band mates. "It's honking at us just like in my dream!"
"What dream?" Micky asked.
"I dreamed the car bit you and when I went outside to see it, she told me..."
"She?" Davy asked.
"Yeah she, Davy." Mike replied, "And told me she felt like she was being taken for granted."
Micky and Davy rolled on the ground in laughter, until that is, the car honked again. That brought them back to the situation at hand.
"Well, whatever is going on." Peter stated, "Our car is honking at us."
"I'll find out why." Mike said with determination. He got up and looked at his friends. "Anybody gonna stop me?"
Micky, Peter and Davy just shook their heads.
Disappointed, Mike slowly walked over to the driver's side front door. When he looked inside, he saw a gray and white cat sitting on the front seat, hitting the horn with its paw. Rolling his eyes, Mike reached in and picked up the cat. He walked back to the others.
"Meet the horn honker." Mike said.
"That's 'Patches', Mrs. Purdy's cat." Peter said, petting him.
Mike let the cat down. Patches gave him an annoyed look and slinked back to his owner's house.
Breathing a collective sigh of relief, the Monkees went back to the pad to eat breakfast.

When they were done with breakfast, Mike picked up the phone booth to find a used car dealer.
"Wow, there sure are a lot of places to try." Mike said, flipping through the pages.
"Let's try that one." Peter said to Mike.
"Happy Hurbert's Used Car Lot." Mike read. "Why that one, Peter?"
"Well, it has the biggest ad." Peter replied.
The guys debated whether to follow Peter's advice.
"Before we take the car in, said Micky, let's see if we can fix it first."
Mike put the phone book down and said, “It just might help."
"Wait a minute, said Davy, I know we'd worked on the car a number of times, but it's really messed up."
"We can try," said Peter.
Soon, the guys were outside, working on the monkeemoblie.
Davy worked under the car, due to the fact that he was the only one who can fit under there, Mike and Micky were trying to fix the engine, while Peter sat in the front seat of the car, since his job was to turn the key and see if the car worked every time the guys tried different methods to fix it.
After playing around with the engine for awhile, Mike said to Peter, “Ok Peter, check her out."
Peter turned the ignition key to see what was going to happen.
When he did, the car still didn't start, however, the radio played once again, and was playing old fashion music.
"At least the car's working again," said Peter.
"Just the radio,” said Davy, “And can you please shut off that ragtime music, I can't work with that loud noise."
Peter turned the key once again, and something did happen.
The windshield wipers began to go on.
Just then, Davy yelled from under the car, and climbed out.
He was covered in oil.
Just then, the car stopped once again and it died out altogether.
"I guess I better call Happy Hurbert's," said Mike.
"I guess I better take a bath," said Davy, looking at his oil stained work clothes and self.
And of course, despite the situation the car was in, the guys did laugh at Davy's appearance.

Once Davy was able to clean the oil off himself, the guys took a bus to Happy Hurbert Used Car Lot. Despite the large ad in the phone book, the lot itself was pretty small. There were still several cars to choose from, some in good shape, and some not so good.
The guys were there for only a few seconds when a man in a polka-dot bow tie ran out to meet them.
"HI!" The man yelled, pumping their hands, "I'm Happy Hurbert and welcome to Happy Hurbert's Used Cars!"
"Uh, thanks Mr. Hurbert." Mike replied, "We're looking to get a new car."
"Well, you've come to the right place!" Hurbert replied, all smiles. "What kind of car were you gentlemen looking for?"
"One that works would be good." Davy muttered as Micky hit him in the ribs.
"We're looking for perhaps a station wagon, Mr. Hurbert." Mike said, "We need something big enough for our stuff."
"We're in a band." Peter said.
"I got something right here." Hurbert replied, leading them over to a car. "How about this one?"
The Monkees looked in shock at the car. It had a small front and backseat, and a long area in the back to store stuff. But what hit them right away, is that the 'car' was a hearse!
"Interesting...design." Micky said slowly.
"Yeah, the local funeral parlor went under," Hurbert laughed at his own joke, "And so I bought the car for next to nothing."
The Monkees slowly backed away from the car.
"Do you have anything else, Mr. Hurbert?" Davy asked.
"Sure, I have another cream puff for you!" He led them over to a smaller car built in the 1950's. It looked pretty well kept.
"Like it?" Hurbert asked, "Low mileage. Only driven by a little old lady to Sunday church and back."
Micky tried to open the door, but it was stuck shut. Davy kicked one of the tires and it started to go flat. They walked away from this car too.
"Well, gentlemen?" Hurbert asked.
"Do you offer financing?" Mike answered.
"Sure!" Hurbert replied, "You can take any car home now for just one dollar!"
"A dollar?!" Peter exclaimed.
"Yes, and you can take your time paying the rest! The interest is only 135%!" Hurbert finished.
"Wow, most places charge 147%!" Peter said.
Mike grabbed his arm and pulled him away.
"We'll see you, Mr. Hurbert." Mike said.
"When Niagara Falls stops flowing." Davy muttered again. This time, Micky didn't hit him as they walked away.
Hurbert stood there watching him, his hands on his hips.
"Crazy kids." He muttered and went back to his office.
"Now what do we do?" Micky asked.
As the Monkees walked away, they were wondering what they were going to do about a car. Just then, they spotted something.
"Hey what's that?" asked Davy.
The guys got closer, it turned out to be another used car lot.
"Honest Bill's used car lot," Mike said, reading the sign on the building.
"What do you think, should we check it out?" asked Davy.
"Worth a try," said Micky.
And the Monkees walked on to the lot. As soon as the guys walked on to the lot, they spotted a car.
It was a jet black colored convertible, with black leather interior.
In fact, it almost looked like the Monkeemoblie, but in a different style. While the guys were checking out the car, a middle aged man approached them.
"She's a beauty isn't she?" asked the man.
The Monkees turned to see who it was.
It turned out to be Honest Bill himself, the guys had recognized him from TV commercials.
"Yeah, we're actually looking to replace our car," said Mike.
"Well, I can see you've taken a liken to our newest model," said Honest Bill.
"It is a very groovy car," said Micky.
"But, it’s not in our budget," said Davy.
"Tell you what,” said Honest Bill, “You seem like nice boys. How would you like to take her home today?"
"Can we?" asked Peter, who was starting to sound very excited.
However, Mike calmed his friend down. He then turned to Honest Bill and asked, “Can we have a moment to think about it?"
"Take all the time you need gentlemen," said Honest Bill.
The Monkees then began to huddle and had a conference.

"Please Mike!" Peter begged, "It's such a nice car!"
"We can't jump at the first car we like." Mike said seriously.
"Let's take it for a test drive, then." Micky said.
"Yeah, what harm is there in seeing how it handles?" Davy added.
"Ok, we'll ask if we can try the car out first." Mike said, "But if it doesn't work good, back it goes."
The other guys agreed and they all went back to Honest Bill.
"What have you gentlemen decided?" Honest Bill asked.
"Can we try the car out first?" Mike asked.
"Of course!" Honest Bill answered. "I just know you'll be pleased with the car."
Honest Bill copied down Mike's driver's license info, then put a dealer plate on the car and handed the keys to Mike.
"Here you go!" He said, "Take your time!"
"Thanks, Honest Bill!" The guys said as they climbed into the car.
The car started up right away and the engine purred without any bangs or pops. Putting it in gear, Mike took the car out onto the street.
Mike drove it around for awhile. It seemed to be working perfectly. Micky turned on the radio.
"Baby you can drive my car." Paul McCartney sang, "Yes, I'm gonna be a star.."
"The radio works fine." Micky said.
Davy hung out the window and waved to all the girls he saw.
"Well, what do you guys say?" Mike asked as he pulled the car over to the curb.
As the guys hopped out of the car, they gave their answer to Honest Bill.
"We'll take it!" they shouted altogether.
"Wonderful," said Honest Bill, with a big toothy grin on his face.
"Now about payment sir?" said Mike.
"Don't worry young man, you can pay me as much or as little as you want."
The Monkees were glad to hear that, since there were times that they didn't had too much money anyway.
They went inside the dealership, signed the papers, gave Honest Bill a dollar, thanked him, and took off in their new car.

When the guys got home, they spent the all day admiring their new car, and placed a for sale sign on the monkeemobile.
The next day, the Monkees want to take the car downtown for a ride. However, the car had trouble starting up.
"Ah, man," said Micky.
"Not again," said Davy.
"It's must be a bit of dust in the engine,” said Mike, “Don't forget it is a new car."
"You better check though," said Peter.
Mike got out of the car, popped the hood and check to see what was wrong with the engine. He did found something wrong; it look like someone had stuck parts of the engine together with gum.
"Who would put a car engine together with gum?’ wondered Davy.
"I guess it would hold better than glue," said Peter.
Micky went to turn on the radio, and the knob broke off in his hand.
"I think the engine isn't the only one with problems,” he said, showing Mike the radio knob in his hand.
"This car is a really lemon," said Davy.
"It sure is,” said Mike, “And I'm going back to Honest Bill and tell him the same thing.”
Peter hopped out of the car and asked, “Mind if I come with you?"
"Sure."
And the two set off to Honest Bill's.

Since it was a long way to the car dealership, the two took a bus to the dealership.
Although they were outside, Peter and Mike could hear through the closed door that Honest Bill was on the phone.
"Yeah the plan is working great,” said Honest Bill on the phone, “I sell these suckers those "well" put together cars, then when the pieces start to break up, they come in for replacements, the piece lasts for awhile then they'll buy another and another and another.
And when it comes time to return it, they won't be able to get there money back, because of all the un-matching parts the car will have. I'm going to be rich, rich, rich, rich."
Mike and Peter could hear what "Honest" Bill was saying, and they kicked the door open.
Honest Bill hung up the phone and said, “Enjoying the car gentlemen?"
"We heard the whole thing Honest Bill, or if that's even you're real name,” said Mike, “And it even happened to us."
"Shame on you," said Peter, waging a finger.
"Just wait till the police hears about this."
"I think not gentlemen," said Bill.

Meanwhile back at the pad, Davy was reading a magazine, and Micky was checking out some more pieces that fell off the car.
As soon he picked up part of the tailgate, it broke apart in his hands.
"Painted plastic,” said Micky, “The whole car is made of cheap parts."
"You know, Mike and Peter had been gone a long time," said Davy.
Micky checked his watch and said, “Yeah you're right. Maybe Honest Bill doesn't believe Mike."
"I don't think he'll believe Peter, but maybe Mike."
"Still, I think we should go down."
"That's a good idea."
And the two took a bus down to Honest Bill's.
When the two arrived, they saw that the garage was opened.
"Hell-o, anyone here," said Davy, as he and Micky entered the garage.
They looked around and saw nobody. Just then, they saw a bunch of wires move. The two began to panic, until they hear a familiar voice.
"Can you guys help me out of here?" asked the voice.
"It's Mike," said Davy.
"I knew that," said Micky, pretending not to be that scared.
The two helped their friend out of the wires.
"Who did this?’ asked Davy.
"Honest Bill himself." said Mike.
"I guess he's not such a nice guy after all." said Micky.
"He's not honest either. I'll tell you his plan, after we look for Peter."
The guys then heard a moaning noise.
"Where's that noise coming from?” asked Davy.
They noticed a stack of tires moving back and forth.
"Peter!" Davy, Micky and Mike said.
The guys raced up to the tire stack and began to help their friend out.
"Let me guess, Honest Bill," said Davy.
"How did you guess?” asked Peter.
As the helped Peter, Mike told Micky and Davy Honest Bill's plan.
"This is terrible," said Davy.

“You’re telling me, said Peter, “I’ve had to go to the bathroom for the last hour.”

"Go ahead, Pete," said Mike.
Peter then headed to the other side of the garage.
Meanwhile, the other three checked out the parts in the garage, and sure enough, all the pieces were cheap items that fell apart.
"Found anything interesting?" asked a voice.
The guys jumped, and turned around, only to see it was just Peter.
"Please don't sneak up on us like that," said Mike.
"Sorry about that," said Peter.
The Monkees began to look around, so they didn't see someone entering the garage.
"Looking for something gentlemen?" asked the voice.
"Peter, we told you not to do that," said Davy, who then turned to see that it was not his band mate, but someone else.
It was Honest Bill.
The others then turned around.
"Can I help you gentlemen," said Honest Bill.
"Quit the nice guy act," said Mike.
"Yeah, we know all about your plan," said Micky.
"When the police found out, you'll be out of business," said Micky.
"Double shame on you," said Peter, waging his finger again.
"I think not,” said Honest Bill, “Oh Binky, Lulu.”
The Monkees began to snicker, because Bill had sent poodles to get them. However, the laughter stopped, when they saw that these dogs were really German Shepards.
The guys were in shock.
"What did you guys expect?" asked Bill.
"Well, aren't these type of dogs named Butch and Spike?" asked Peter.
"No, those are my wife's poodles' names."
"Why did you…"
"Peter, this is not the time," said Mike.
Just then, Bill left the garage. As he was leaving, he turned to the dogs and said, “Keep an eye on them."
"Nice doggies, nice doggies." Davy smiled at the two angry-looking German Shepards staring at them.
"We gotta get outta here and call the police." Micky said.
"How do we get past Binky and Lulu?" Peter asked, "I still think those are the wrong names..."
"Will you forget about that already?" Mike demanded. "This is serious!"
Davy looked around the garage and got an idea. He turned to his band mates.
"Perhaps Peter is right." He said, "If they have cute names, maybe they really are nice dogs."
"I'm not gonna find out," Mike said, "Not with those sharp teeth of theirs."
Davy slowly moved over to where some tires were stacked. He picked up two and rolled them off to the side.
"Hey boys, go fetch!" He said happily.
The two dogs immediately started to chase the two tires down the garage.
"Maybe those dogs aren't so bad after all." Micky laughed.
Just then, the two dogs started to run back towards the group, barking and growling.
"Or maybe not." Micky finished. "Let's split!"
The guys bolted away, but not before Mike grabbed a can of oil off one of the shelves. The dogs chased the Monkees around the garage, until Mike and Davy were able to climb onto the storage shelves near a closet.
"We gotta save Peter and Micky!" Davy exclaimed.
"I gotta plan!" Mike said, grabbing a screwdriver and poking a hole in the oil can. He then jumped down, opened the closet door and pored the oil in front of the door.
"Micky, Peter!" Mike yelled, "Run towards the open closet, then jump aside at the last second!"
Micky and Peter heard Mike's command and headed towards the open closet, Binky and Lulu right behind them. Just before they entered the closet, the two Monkees jumped off to the side, but the dogs slid on the oil and went skidding into the closet. Mike jumped down and slammed the door shut before the dogs could run out. The dogs barked and pounded on the door, but thankfully, the door held. To be extra sure, the guys placed tires in front of the door to keep the door closed. Micky and Peter wiped their foreheads.
"Whew, thanks Mike." Micky said.
"You're welcome." Mike said, "Now lets go see what not so Honest Bill is doing."
The Monkees crept over to where Honest Bill had his office. It was in a separate building from the garage, so he hadn't heard what had gone on. Cautiously, they looked in the window of his office to see that Honest Bill had a visitor: It was none other than Happy Hurbert, the first guy they had visited. The two men were talking and didn't seem very happy.
"Yeah, those four kids visited me a few days ago." Hurbert said sourly, "Couldn't sell them anything. Kids are getting smarter these days."
"Well, now they've caught on to my car-part replacement scheme." Bill replied, "Looks like I'll have to make tracks."
The Monkees looked at each other in shock.
"We gotta stop him from leaving town!" Mike whispered, "So he doesn't try to cheat other people."
"How?" Peter asked.
"I'll bet Bill's own car works fine." Micky said with a sly smile. "How about if we find out?"
The others smiled and nodded in agreement.
The Monkees wandered around the other side of the lot, to find where Bill and Hurbert parked their cars.
And sure enough, two newly modeled cadilacs were parked on the back side of the dealership.
"Now here's my plan,” said Mike, “Micky and I are gonna disassemble the cars. Peter, you and Davy find a phone and call the police."
Davy and Peter rushed from the back of the building, so they would'nt be seen, and went to find a near-by pay phone, meanwhile, Micky and Mike popped the hood on both cars and began to "work" on them.

The two were in the middle of taking apart the engines, when they heard a noise.
"Somebody's coming," said Mike.
He and Micky scrambled behind a couple of cars, so they wouldn't be seen.
It was Bill and Hurbert.
"Keep an eye out for those kids," said Hurbert.
"Don't worry, they're keeping my dogs occupied now," said Bill, with a laugh.
The two got in their cars, while Mike and Micky, still hiding behind the cars, were holding back their laughter.
Bill and Hurbert started their cars at the same time, and at the same time both cars had smoke coming from the engine. They both got out of their cars.
"You sold me a worthless piece of junk!" shouted Bill.
"You sold me a worthless piece of junk!" yelled Hurbert.
Despite not wanting to be seen, Mike and Micky snickered to themselves.
Just then, Micky felt a sneeze coming on.
"Ah,ah,ah,ah,ah," he went.
Mike then placed a finger underneath Micky's nose.
"Thank you," said Micky.
But, he sneezed anyway.
"What was that?" asked Bill.
"Let's take a look around," said Hurbert.
As soon as Micky and Mike saw Bill and Hurbert starting to look around, the two of them began to run, but they got spotted.
"It's some of those pesky kids I was talking about," said Bill.
"I thought it was the same pesky kids I told you about," said Hurbert.
"I think there's been a mistake," said Mike.
"Yeah, you maybe thinking of another group of pesky kids," said Micky.
"Shut up!" shouted Bill and Hurbert together.
Micky and Mike stood still.
"Say, I bet these two had something to do with our cars getting destroyed," said Bill.
"Let me see your hands," said Hurbert.
Mike and Micky held out their hands, and sure enough, they were covered in oil and dirt.
"I knew it!" said Hurbert.
"Wait till we get the police," said Bill.
Micky and Mike began to panic.
A moment later, the sounds of sirens appeared, as did several police cars on to the lot.
A couple of officers got out of their cars, as well as Peter and Davy, and approached the group of men.
"You're under arrest!" shouted the chief of police.
"Now you're going to get it," said Bill with a big toothy grin on his face.
Hurbert did the same thing to.
However, the policemen approached Bill and Hurbert.
"William "Honest Bill" Thomas, you are wanted in three cities in Northern Ca, for fraud," said the Chief of police.
"Hurbert Randall, AKA "Happy Hurbert", “You are charged with not paying back taxes," said another officer.
Bill and Hurbert were then placed in handcuffs and in a police car.


Davy and Peter approached Mike and Micky.
"How did you two get here so quickly?” asked Mike.
"As a matter of fact, how did you also get these policemen here so quickly?" asked Micky.
"We found a phone booth just outside the lot," said Peter.
"And we told the police about these car dealers, they told us that they were actually doing a background check on them," said Davy.
The Monkees were asked to go down to the police station for questioning.
After much questioning, Bill and Hurbert were each charged 10 years, and Mike and Micky were charged a small fine for tampering with Bill and Hurbert's cars.
"You gentlemen had done a great public service for the town," said the Chief of police.
"You're entitled to a reward," said another officer.
"Since the cars on Bill's lot are all junk, you can have your pick of any car from Hurbert's lot."
The Monkees were quite surprised and glad by the offer, but they knew no car was the same as their old one.

The next day, The Monkees returned to Hurbert's lot, with a ride from the police, and began to look around.
"Take your pick," said the Chief.
The guys looked around the lot, but they couldn't find anything that hit their eye. Just then, they saw something.
It was a car that looked exactly like the Monkee-mobile, only it was rusty looking. The guys got into the car and checked it out.
Mike saw that the key was in the starter and began to turn it. To the guys’ surprise, the car ran perfectly. A thought the popped into the guys' heads.
"Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?" asked Mike.
"You bet," said Micky.
"Same here," said Davy.
"Me too," said Peter.
They got out of the car, approached the police chief and Mike asked, "Do you think it's ok if we can take the engine instead of the whole car?"
"I don't see why not," said the chief.
The Monkees thanked the officers, drove the car back to the pad, and began to replace the engine in the rusted car into the Monkee-mobile.
After hours of working on the car, it was finished.
"I hope this works," said Davy.
"Let's test it out," said Micky.
The Monkees got into the car, and Mike turned the ignition key.
And sure enough, the car ran great, even better.
"Groovy, it works!" said Peter.
The guys were quite glad that they were able to fix up their car, and they didn't have to give it up.
The Monkees celebrated repairing the car with a drive around town.

The End

By: Mickys411 and Larrysgirl    Rated G

It was a typical evening at the pad, Mike was reading the paper, Peter was losing a game of checkers to Micky, and Davy was out on a date.
Sometime later, Davy came home with a big smile on his face.
"You won't believe what happened to me tonight," he said.
"Let me guess, you asked Tina out on another date and she said yes?" Mike guessed.
"Yes, that happened but something else did," said Davy.
"You met another girl?" asked Micky.
"No, this is even bigger news."
"Then what is it?" asked Peter.
"Well,” said Davy, “Tina's Uncle is a movie director, and he's filming here, and she asked me if I wanted to be an extra."
"So, what did you tell her?" asked Peter.
"I said yes, and then I told her I got three other friends, who may be interested."
"I don't know Davy," said Mike.
"She told us that it pays 150 dollars a day for 12 days," said Davy.
"However, if the price is right," said Micky.
"I'm not so sure Davy, remember what happened that time we worked for Luther Kran," said Mike.
"Yeah, you became as mean spirited as that Frankie Catalina," said Peter.
"I often wonder what ever happened to him," said Micky.
"Last I heard he did a mystery for Mammoth," said Davy.
"Mammoth's been out of business for years," said Mike.
"I guess that's the mystery," said Micky.
"Hey, maybe we can do it, be extras in the movie," said Peter.
Micky and Mike thought for a minute, before saying yes themselves.
"Great!” said Davy, “I'll call Tina and tell her."
"By the way, what kind of movie are we going to be extras in?" asked Mike.
"Oh, it's just a basic dramatic comedy love story western picture."
Davy then went to call Tina to tell her the news.

Davy talked to Tina for a few minutes before coming back over to his friends.
"Ok, Tina says we can be extras in the movie." He said. "We have to report to the back lot of Titanic Studios at seven a.m."
"Seven a.m.?!" Micky shouted.
"Yeah, they need to film several outdoor scenes and they have to film while the light is good." Davy replied.
The others didn't look too happy about having to get up so early, but it was only for a few days and the pay was good. So the Monkees went to bed early so they could be on time at the studio the next morning.

The next morning, Mike drove the Monkeemobile over to the gate of Titanic studio. Davy and Peter were slightly awake, but Micky was sound asleep and leaning against Davy's shoulder.
Mike explained that they had been hired as extras and the guard told them where to park and where to report. When he had parked the car, Mike looked at the others.
"Rise and shine guys. *yawn*" Mike said. Davy nudged Micky awake.
"C'mon, Micky." He said, "Let's go be movie stars."
"Now, we're just extras." Mike reminded him, "Don't get any ideas of stardom, just because you know Tina."
"Yes, Papa Nez." Davy said, rolling his eyes.
The guys got out of the car and went into one of the huge soundstages that dotted the area. There they found dozens of people standing around, extras like them, waiting to be given directions.
"Wow, the people." Peter remarked.
"Yeah, we're just part of the crowd." Davy replied, looking a little sad. He turned when he heard someone call his name.
"Oh, hello Tina." Davy said with a smile.
"Hi Davy." Tina replied. She had dark brown hair and was wearing a green miniskirt. "Glad you and your friends could make it."
"We're glad to be here." Davy replied, and then introduced his band mates.
"Thanks for hiring us." Peter said.
"It's quite alright." Tina replied, "I'm one of my uncle's assistants and he always needs extras for his movies. I'll see you later, ok?"
"See you later, Tina." Davy replied and Tina walked away.
What Tina and the Monkees didn't know was that none other than Frankie Catalina was watching all this from a catwalk above their heads.
"So, you've come to ruin another picture eh, Davy?" He thought to himself. "I'll make sure this is your swan song!" Catalina chuckled nastily.

Looking up, the Monkees saw Frankie glaring down at them.
As if getting up early wasn't bad enough, now the guys were forced to work with a man who they really couldn't stand.
"Great, just who we want to work with," said Mike.
"I thought we didn't like Frankie," said Peter.
"I think Mike's being sarcastic Pete," said Micky.
"Come on you guys,” said Davy, “Lets just do our job."
Just then, a crewmember spoke into a megaphone, and it got everyone's attention.
"Can I have your attention please?” Asked the assistant director, “May I introduce your director and founder of D.R.I.P. productions, Donald Rupert Isaac Pascal!"
When Donald Rupert Isaac Pascal appeared, a few people applauded.
"Thanks for the great intro Stanley." said Donald.
"Anytime, Uncle Don." said Stanley.
"Keep cool on the uncle stuff, if they find out I hire family instead of real crew members, I'll be called cheap."
"Sorry Unc, er Mr. Pascal."
"Mr. Catalina's ready for you Mr. Pascal," said Tina.
"Thank you Tina, now go get me some coffee," said Donald.
"Yes sir."
Davy seemed a little surprised that Tina called her uncle by his last name as did Stanley.
"You know, I think Donald gets family mixed up with work," he said to the guys.
At that moment, Donald made an announcement.
"Ladies and gentlemen,” he said, “I'd like to introduce the star of this film, making a comeback from his beach scene movies, the very talented Frankie Catalina!"
Frankie appeared, and a few cast and crewmembers clapped.
Something told the Monkees that this was going to be a long day of filming.
The assistant director spoke into the megaphone once again.
"All of the ladies please go off to the right dressing rooms to change into your costumes. The gentlemen please head to the left where you'll be split up as cowboys and Indians."
"Oh, boy!" Peter said happily. "I hope I'm an Indian!"
"Me too, since I'm already part-Indian." Micky replied.
The guys followed the other men over to the men's dressing rooms. As they did, they walked past Frankie Catalina, hoping they wouldn't be noticed, but no such luck.
"Hold it right there!" Catalina demanded. The Monkees stopped and the movie star walked over to them, Donald in tow.
"What are these morons doing in my picture?!" He demanded, even though he had seen them earlier.
"We're not morons, we're Monkees." Peter replied.
"My niece Tina brought them in, Frankie." Donald said quickly. "I needed the extras for this picture."
"They caused me to lose my job on the last beach picture I made." Frankie snapped.
"They won't cause trouble this time, Frankie. Right boys?" Donald asked with a touch of menace in his voice.
"Yeah, we'll be good." Micky said, with a fake smile, "We'll stay out of Mr. Catalina's way."
"See that you do." Frankie snarled and stalked away.
Donald just shook his head at the boys. "Go get changed and do as you're told and you'll be ok."
"Yes, Mr. Pascal." Mike replied.
Donald walked away as well and the guys went to change clothes.
In the dressing rooms, the guys were given western costumes to wear. As it turns out, Micky and Peter were given Indian costumes, while Mike and Davy were given cowboy costumes. All four of them were given fake rifles to carry.
When everybody was dressed, they all met outside in the back lot, which was made to look like an old fort. The women were dressed in period pieces too, with long dresses and bonnets on their heads.
"Groovy threads, mates." Davy said to Micky and Peter.
"You two look cool yourselves." Micky replied.
The assistant director, Stanley, spoke into his megaphone.
"Alright, everyone." He said, "The first scene today is going to be a big battle between the cowboys and Indians."
A long time was taken to get everyone in position for the camera. The sun was hot and nobody was comfortable in the heavy costumes.
"Man, when's lunch?" Micky whispered to Peter as they waited their cue to attack the 'fort'.
"My war paint is starting to run." Peter whispered back.
At the 'fort', Davy and Mike were getting bored too.
"I can't believe my ancestors wore stuff like this." Mike said to Davy.
Davy, however, was watching Frankie, dressed as a Calvary officer, talk to Donald and Tina. He didn't like the way Frankie was smiling at her and trying to put his arm around her. Tina, for her part, didn't seem to appreciate Frankie's advances.
Finally, Donald took the megaphone from Stanley.
"Attention everyone! When I say 'Action!' the Indians will scream, yell, run over, attack, and shoot at the fort, while the cowboys will return fire. Don't worry, the guns aren't real, they fire blanks."
Some nervous laughter followed that remark. Donald climbed up on a platform while Frankie went to sit on his chair under an umbrella. Tina moved off to the side away from him.
"OK! LIGHTS, CAMERA! ACTION!" Donald yelled.
At that, the 'Indians' started screaming battle cries and opening fire at the 'fort' while the 'cowboys' returned fire. Several cameras were around the area to catch the action from many angles.
The Monkees did their parts, with Micky and Peter firing at the 'fort' and Mike and Davy returning fire.
Everything went fine for several seconds until a piece of the 'fort' disintegrated next to Davy's head. He ducked down out of range, Mike joined him.
"What happened?" Mike shouted over the noise
"Someone's firing real bullets out there!" Davy yelled back.
They looked around but nobody else was being shot at for real. Mike and Davy stayed down low and hoped Donald yelled 'CUT!' very, very soon.

Mike and Davy looked up behind them to see that Frankie, who was dressed in cowboy gear looked to be using a real gun, instead of a prop with pellets in them.
"I should have known," said Mike quietly.
"I bet Frankie is just trying to scare us.” said Davy, “I don't why he's shooting at us, we're supposed to be on his "side"."
"Yeah, but I think he's still holding a grudge on us for ruining his career."
"We gotta do something."
But will filming still in progress, there was no way the two could do anything.

Meanwhile Peter and Micky weren't having that much fun filming either.
"Man, I hope we can take a break soon, the sun's really beating down," said Micky, carefully wiping the sweat from his forehead so he won't mess up his make-up.
While Peter was trying to shoot, his headdress fell on his eyes, and he couldn't see a thing.
And when he tried to shoot, the pellet hit Frankie in the arm, which then caused him to shoot his gun, firing a real bullet at the window.
"Cut!” Donald shouted, “Frankie, that's not the fake gun prop I gave you."
"Sorry Mr. Pascal, but I lost it," said Frankie playing innocent.
"Yeah I believe that," Davy muttered.
"Well, please be more careful," said Donald.

Awhile later during lunch break, the guys were talking.
"I can't believe Frankie used a real gun," said Davy.
"Yeah, and that Pascal didn't do a thing about it," said Mike.
"But someone can get hurt," said Peter.
"And that someone can be one of us," said Micky.
"He did the same thing to you," asked Davy.
"Actually, he shot at an old building and we almost got hit with glass," said Micky.
"You know, Frankie is getting out of control," said Davy.
"He's worse than the last time we met him," said Mike.
Just then, Frankie approached them.
"So you guys should have seen your faces at those scenes," he said with a laugh.
"That's not funny," said Peter.
"Yeah, someone can get hurt," said Micky.
"Sure, go ahead and tell Pascal, I'll just say I got the gun from you guys," said Frankie with a laugh, as he walked away.

Later that night, after the guys got home from a long day of filming.
It turned out after their break, Frankie was still using the gun and shooting not at the Monkees but near them.
"You know, if I were in the star, I wouldn't shot at anyone," said Davy.
"But Frankie's the star," said Peter, who saw he had marks from the make-up in his face.
"Today's he's using a gun, tomorrow it can be a cannon," said Micky.
"Besides Davy,” said Mike, “Remember when you replaced Frankie in that beach picture." said Mike.
"Yeah, you became just as obnoxious as he was," said Micky.
"Not to mention mean-spirited," said Peter.
Micky was about to say something to Peter, but decided not to.
"Don't worry,” said Davy, “If I ever get out of hand, you can throw me in the ocean."
"Or this case where we're filming, a puddle," said Micky.
That made the guys laughed.

The next morning, the guys went back to the studio. They found Frankie talking to the director. He looked up when he saw them coming over.
"Well, back for more?" Frankie snickered.
"Yeah, we decided to keep on working." Mike said, trying to sound nonchalant.
"That's good, boys." The director said approvingly. "I wish the other extras had that much resolve."
Frankie glared at Mr. Pascal, but said nothing. The director continued.
"Today's your big scene, Frankie." He said. "You're going to rescue your sweetheart who's been captured by the Indians."
"Sounds fine to me." Frankie beamed.
The Monkees just rolled their eyes and went to change clothes. When they were in their cowboy and Indian outfits, they and the other extras met outside again where there was now an 'Indian village'. Several campfires dotted the area. Stanley the assistant director spoke into his megaphone again.
"Ok, everyone!" He shouted, "The cowboys are going to attack the Indian village so Mr. Catalina can rescue his girl!"
His remark was met with silence. Stanley proceeded to get everyone into position. While Davy was waiting for his cue, Tina came over to him.
"Hi Davy, how's it going?"
"Ok, I guess." Davy replied, wiping his brow. "I saw how Frankie was acting toward you. Are you ok?"
"Yeah, I'm alright. He acts like that towards all the women. Thinks he's a gift to women." Tina replied.
"If I was the star, I'd respect all the women on the set." Davy responded.
"I know you would." Tina said, "Who knows, someday you might get your chance."
With that, Tina left to go back and talk to her uncle, while unknown to everyone, Frankie was playing with fire-literally-inside one of the tee-pees.

Finally, all was ready and Pascal took the megaphone from Stanley once again.
"OK, everyone!" He shouted, "When I say 'Action!' the Cowboys will run towards the village, firing their guns...while Mr. Catalina..." He looked around for the star, but he was nowhere to be found. "Where's Frankie?" Pascal whispered to his nephew.
"I don't know uncle." Stanley whispered back.
Suddenly, the tee-pee Davy was near burst into flames! He jumped away to keep from being burned.
Davy yelled "FIRE!" and everyone looked to see what had happened. Frankie rushed out of the tee-pee before it collapsed.
Davy, Mike and a few other men put out the fire, but the tee-pee was ruined. Pascal stormed over to Frankie.
"What's going on?" He demanded.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Pascal." Frankie said, not really sounding sorry, "I was relaxing in the tee-pee and somehow it caught fire." He looked at Davy. "You set it on fire, didn't you?"
"No, I'd never do that!" Davy shot back.
"You want me out of the way so you can be the star, don't you?" Frankie asked angrily as Mike walked over.
"I found this cigarette lighter in the tee-pee Mr. Catalina." Mike said with a fake smile. "I believe it is yours."
"How do you know that?" Frankie snapped back, starting to get nervous.
"Well, it's gold-plate and has the initials 'FC' in rhinestones on the front." Mike replied, handing the lighter back to him.
"Oh, well..." Frankie said, slowly, not knowing what to say.
"That's twice in two days you've been goofing off, Frankie!" Pascal shouted at him. "First with the gun, then setting this tee-pee on fire and trying to blame this young man! Someone could've gotten hurt! I've had enough of your antics! You're fired!"
"You can't fire me!" Frankie retorted, "I'm the star!"
"We've only done two days of filming." Pascal retorted, "I can replace you and I will! Now get out of here!"
"Fine, I didn't want to work on this stupid picture in the first place!" Frankie retorted, "You'll hear from my lawyer!" With that, Frankie stormed away.
Tina walked over to her uncle. "I think you did the right thing, Mr. Pascal." She said softly.
"Yeah, I did." He agreed, "But where will someone willing to work for what I pay?"
"What about Davy?" Tina asked, pointing at him.
"Me?" Davy asked.
"Him?" Pascal answered.
"Why not?" Tina said, "He's had movie experience before. In fact, he replaced Frankie in another movie of his."
The director sighed. "Well, what's your full name?" He asked Davy.
"David Thomas Jones." Davy replied.
"Well, Mr. Jones, I can't pay much, only $1,000 a week, but will you take the leading role?"
By this time, Davy's band mates had gathered around him. He looked at them. Mike shrugged.
"It's up to you, Davy."
"I'll do it!" Davy said.
Everybody around them began to applaud

When the guys returned home, Davy was still in glory about getting the leading role in the movie.
"I still can't believe it, I got the part,” he said.
"Yeah, Davy's gonna be a star," said Peter.
"Now Davy, please don't get caught in all the fame Davy," said Mike.
"Mike's right, remember what happened the last time?" asked Micky.
"Don't worry, I learned my lesson from last time,” said Davy, “Like I said, you can throw me in the ocean, if I get out of line."
"I guess Frankie never learned from the last time," said Peter.
"Yeah, you don't mess with the Monkees," said Micky.

The next morning, the guys went back to the studio. When they got there, Mike was directed to park in another spot closer to the soundstage. The guard explained that Mr. Pascal had ordered that whatever car Davy was in was to have the best parking spot.
"Well, that's one perk." Micky said as Mike pulled the car into the spot with a star painted on the ground. "We don't have to walk clear across town to get to our soundstage."
"We didn't walk across town, Micky." Peter told him. "It was only 500 feet."
"Just an expression, Peter." Micky said.
"Oh, ok."
The Monkees walked into the soundstage and were met by Mr. Pascal and Tina.
"Hello, Davy! Pascal said happily, "Let's get you into your trailer!"
"What about my friends?" Davy asked.
"They have to go with the other extras, Davy Baby." Pascal replied, "The trailer is only for the star."
"But..."
"Hey, we gotta make up for lost time now." Pascal interrupted, "We have to redo those earlier scenes." He put his arm around Davy's shoulder and led him away. Davy looked back at his friends apologetically.
"Your friend will be alright." Tina told the other three.
"Oh, yeah, sure he will!" Micky said. The other three Monkees went off to get changed.

When everyone was in costume and makeup. Pascal came out and took the megaphone from Stanley.
"Attention, everyone!" He yelled. "I'm sure you all know Mr. Catalina is no longer the star of this picture. Let me introduce the new star of this picture...Mr. David Diamond!"
"David Diamond?" Micky, Mike and Peter said together.
Out of the trailer came 'David Diamond', which of course was none other than Davy. He was wearing a blonde wig and a calvary uniform for that day's shoot. Davy walked over to Pascal, a huge smile on his face.
"Thank you, Mr. Pascal." Davy said. "With my new name I'm sure to make this picture shine!"
"Oh no..." Mike moaned, putting his hand to his head. Micky and Peter could only do the same.

The guys couldn't believe that Davy was wearing the blonde wig once again.
"Not again," sighed Mike.
"Maybe it won't be as bad as last time," said Peter.
At that moment, Davy bumped into Stanley and said, “Watch where you're going, you can be fired you know."
"You were saying Pete." Micky said.
"This is gonna be one long day of filming," said Mike.
"You can say that again." Micky replied.
"This is gonna be a long day of filming," said Peter.
Mike and Micky were about to say something, but decided to skip it, due to the fact they had to take their places.

It was indeed a long day of filming.
During one scene, Davy had to tie up Micky and Peter and was tying them too tight.
"Hey Davy not so tight." whispered Peter.
"Cut!" Davy shouted out.
"What's the matter there, Davy?" Asked Donald.
"I can't work with someone who complains throughout the whole film."
"I only said one thing." said Peter.
"Yeah, you're the one who's been complaining all day." Micky muttered under his breath.
"What was that?' asked Davy.
"Nothing."
"Don't worry Davy, we'll fix it." said Donald.
He then asked Stanley to place gags in Peter and Micky's mouths, which he did.

As the day progressed, Davy's behavior really changed from earlier that day.
He yelled at a crewman for being late getting him a glass of water, then after the water came, he spit it out because it wasn't cold enough.
"Man, he's worse than the last time," said Mike.
"Yeah we gotta stop him before he threatens to fires us," said Micky.
"Don't worry you guys we have the day off tomorrow,” said Peter, “I'm sure Davy will be back to his old self."

However Davy didn't go back to his old self the next day, in fact he was just as bad as he was on the set the day before, and was even wearing the blonde wig.
"Ok guys, since we've been at the set for a few days, I think this is a good day to do some chores," said Mike.
"You expect me to work on my day off?!” said Davy, “Do you know who I am?"
"Of course, you're Davy Jones," said Peter.
"Correction, Davy Diamond. Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to the beach to work on my tan, and pick up some babes."
"Say Davy, why don't we escort you to the beach," Micky said with a wicked smile.
He turned to the others and they put the same smiles on their faces.
"Wonderful, I got an entourage," said Davy.
The guys picked up Davy and carried him out the door to the beach.
"Put me down right this minute!" shouted Davy.
"If you say so," said Micky.
And with that, the guys threw Davy into the currents.
A moment later, Davy emerged from the water, soaked, covered in seaweed, and his wig was lopped sided on his head.
Mike, Micky and Peter stood there for a few seconds without saying a word, before the three burst out laughing, while Davy stood there with a sour look on his face.
He tried to remove the seaweed from his head, but his wig fell off. That made the guys, including Davy, laugh even harder.
"I guess I did deserve that," said Davy with a laugh.
"You said to do that if you got out of hand," said Micky.
Davy picked up the wig and said, “Man did I look ridiculous in this this. You know, I was thinking of quitting, but I don't want to make Pascal upset."
"To bad you can't just get fired," said Peter.
"Peter, I think you just came up with a great idea," said Mike.
"Thank you.” Peter beamed.
The guys headed back to the pad, and began to work on a plan.

The next morning, the guys walked into the studio...one hour late. Pascal was angrily pacing the floor and stopped when he saw the four of them coming in.
"Where have you been?" He demanded. "You're supposed to have been here an hour ago!"
"Sorry, Pascal old boy," Davy said loftily, "I decided I needed a little more beauty sleep."
"Luckily I was able to film a few scenes where you weren't needed." Pascal fumed, "Now get into your costume!"
Davy simply shrugged and headed off to his trailer. The other three Monkees went to get changed too.
When the four of them were in costume, (Davy with his blond wig on of course) Pascal told Davy what his scene would be.
"This is the great love scene between you and your girl, Davy." The director said.
"That's Mr. Diamond." Davy replied coldly.
"Ok, Mr. Diamond." Pascal said, holding on to his temper, "This is where you have rescued your girl from the Indians and you and she declare your true love for each other."
"Very well." Davy said, sounding bored. He hoped the others were doing there parts.
Pascal sat Davy and Tina underneath a tree and sat in his chair next to the camera.
"Ok, quiet on the set!" Pascal yelled, "Lights, camera, Action!"
"Oh, Greg!" Tina said, glancing at the cue cards that Micky was suddenly holding, "You are so brave, so handsome, so short...short?" She said, "That's not the line that was there before!"
"CUT!" Pascal yelled, "What are you doing, Tina?"
"That's what the cue card says, Uncle, er...Mr. Pascal!" Tina answered.
Pascal looked at the cue cards now lying on the ground. Sure enough, they had been altered. Davy pretended to be angry.
"What's going on?" He asked angrily. "Are you trying to insult me, Mr. Pascal?"
"No, Mr. Diamond." Pascal said quickly, "I don't know how that line got in there."
"Humph!" Davy sniffed, "I think I need to take a break to recover from that insult!" He got up and walked away.
"But you just got here!" Pascal shouted after him.
But Davy just kept on walking, a big smile on his face. A little more and soon he would be fired and out of the movie business...he hoped.

Davy approached the guys with a smile and said,” You know, I think the plan's working."
"Groovy," said Micky.
"Yeah, just gotta keep up with the act and I'll be fired."
"So, Pascal is not happy with your behavior?" asked Peter.
"I bet after this, you'll never work in show business again," said Mike.
Just then, Tina walked up to them.
"Davy, can I talk to you?" she asked.
"Sure," said Davy.
He asked the guys to excuse them, so they can talk.
Davy and Tina walked to the other side of the set.
"Davy what are you doing?” asked Tina, “Are you trying to get yourself fired?"
"Yes I am." said Davy.
"How come?"
Davy explained to Tina about his and the guys encounter with Frankie and an incident similar that's happening right now.
"You mean Frankie has always been rude, obnoxious and conceited?" asked Tina.
"‘Fraid so," said Davy.
"Davy, I know my uncle is not going to like this, but if you really want to get fired…"
Tina then whispered something into Davy's ear.
"That’s great thinking Tina." said Davy.
Davy and Tina walked back to the guys and told them their plan.
"Do you think it would work?" asked Mike.
"You guys know me," said Davy with a laugh.
"Davy, we need you back on the set, right now!!" shouted Pascal.
"Well, back to work," said Davy.
Little did everyone know, hiding behind some scenery, was Frankie and he heard the whole plan.

"So now that you've gotten me fired, you want to leave eh, Jones?" Frankie thought to himself. "I'll use this to get my job back!" He chuckled as he left his hiding place.

Davy slowly walked back to the set, ignoring the stares of those waiting for him.
"Shall we begin?" He asked with a yawn.
"Yes, let's begin." Pascal replied with false a fake smile. Before he could describe the scene to Davy, Stanley came over to him.
"Mister Pascal?" He asked.
"Not now, Stanley." Pascal snapped.
"Telephone call for you." Stanley replied.
"Tell whoever it is I'm busy." Pascal said.
"It's Cary Grant." Pascal whispered.
"Cary Grant!" Pascal shouted, "Well, why didn't you say so in the first place?" He ran off to the side to answer the phone.
"Hello, Mr. Grant?" Pascal said.
"Hello, Mr. Pascal." Frankie replied.
"Frankie?" Pascal asked, getting confused, "What happened to Cary Grant?"
"He was never here you moron." Frankie snapped, "Your feeble-minded assistant fell for one of my many impressions."
"What do you want?" Pascal demanded. "As you know, I'm busy directing a picture."
"Yes, the picture I should be the star of, instead of that midget." Frankie snarled, "But did you know something, Pascal old boy?"
"What?" Pascal asked, getting annoyed.
"Promise me I'll get my old job back if Jones quits or is fired." Frankie said, "Then I'll tell you."
"No, Frankie. I've had enough of your games."
"Suit yourself." Frankie said leisurely, "You'll have nobody to blame but yourself if the IRS does an audit of how much money you make on your films."
Pascal was silent for a moment, then said "Ok Frankie, if things don't work out with Jones, you'll have your job back. Now what is it you want to tell me?"
"Jones is purposely trying to get himself fired. I overheard him talking to your niece and his friends." Frankie said, he then described the plan he had overheard to the director.
"I don't believe you!" Pascal said.
"Just watch Jones and see if I'm right." Frankie replied, "If he leaves, you'll have to start all over again and you'll go deep into debt before the picture is half-finished."
"Why are you helping me?" Pascal asked. "I thought you'd be glad to have Jones gone."
"I'd be very glad to see the little twit gone, but I want to make sure 'I' get the lead role again, not someone else. Understand?"
"Yeah, I understand Frankie." Pascal replied. "If Jones keeps up his antics, he's history."
"See you later, Mr. Pascal." Frankie said, then hung up the phone.
Pascal hung up the phone on his end and walked back over to the set, where Davy sat in his chair impatiently.
"Took you long enough." Davy snapped, sipping a glass of water.
Pascal ignored the comment and walked over to Stanley.
"What's up Mr. Pascal?" asked Stanley.
"I just got off the phone with Frankie," said Donald.
"Did he call for his job back?"
"Yeah, and he was saying that Jones was going get himself fired on purpose."
"That sounds a little odd, if not unbelievable. However it could explain his behavior today."
"Let's just get back to work, before we get even more behind in schedule."
And the two parted ways.
Donald approached the set and began to speak to the cast.
"Ok everyone places,” he said, “Let's take it from where we left off yesterday."
The actors scattered across the set.
"Roll cameras, actors in position, and action!" shouted Donald.
Davy then grabbed Tina and planted a long kiss on her.
"Cut!” Donald shouted, “Davy, what do you think you're doing with my niece!"
"Oh, I thought I was just another one of your assistants." said Tina.
Donald was speechless.
"And besides, we're in love."
"I just asked her to marry me," said Davy.
"What?!" Donald yelled.
Mike, Micky and Peter smiled, because they knew that this was the plan.
"Oh that's it Davy! Between your behavior and now this! You're fired."
Davy removed his wig, threw it down on the ground, and shouted, "You can't fire me, I quit! I won't work for you even if you doubled my salary!"
Donald then turned to the other Monkees and said, "I better get rid of you guys too, seeing you know Davy, you guys may give me trouble too."
"No, you can fire us you big bully," said Peter, pretending to cry.
"You'll hear from my agent and my lawyer!" said Mike in false anger.
"I was going to quit anyway, I should had been a doctor," said Micky.
The four Monkees then walked off the set, trying to hold back laugh.
However, just as they were about to leave, when who of all people should appear but Frankie. For some reason, the guys didn't seem to surprise.
"So, I see you're leaving Jones," said Frankie approaching him.
"Well, I bet you must be happy, you may have a chance of getting your job back." said Davy.
"You don't know how much this means to me."
The Monkees continued to keep walking when Frankie stopped them once again.
"Wait!" he shouted.
"I wonder what he wants now." said Micky.
"Yeah, he got the part," said Mike.
"Maybe he wants ours too." said Peter.
The guys watched to see what Frankie was going to do.
Frankie then approached Donald.
"Forget it Frankie, I'm not giving you your job back," said Donald.
"That's ok, because I have something else to say to you," said Frankie, pulling something out of pocket, which turned out to be a badge.
"What's all this?" asked Donald.
"You're under arrest for money fraud!" Frankie then took a walkie-talkie out of his other pocket and said, “I got him."
At that moment, two policemen entered the set, and took Donald away.
"Wait! You can't to this!" shouted Donald.
"Uncle, wait!" yelled Stanley.
"Don't call me Uncle!"
The actors and Monkees couldn't believe it, because no one saw that coming.
The Monkees then approached Frankie.
"What the heck did you just do?!" asked Davy.
"Just my job," said Frankie, speaking in a normal tone of voice.
"What a minute, you work for the police?” asked Mike.
"That's right."
"I thought you wanted to act," said Peter.
"I did, so I can get the goods on Mr. Pascal," said Frankie.
"But I thought acting was your life," said Micky.
"It was. You see, growing up, my folks pushed me into show-business, dragging me to auditions, I actually had a show as a kid called Toby the Jungle kid."
"I remember that series," said Mike.
"That was really you?" asked Peter.
"Yeah, but my folks made me change my last name to Kats for the show.” said Frankie, “But when I turned 14 the show got canceled, and my folks decided to concentrate on starting a career for my little brother. I always thought I wasn't good enough, so I tried my best to be taken seriously as an actor, but the only jobs I could get were those stupid beach movies. I over heard Karm saying that he was having money troubles and auditing a lot, so I went to check it out. Turns out the police actually found a file on him, they were so impressed that with my research that they gave me a job as an undercover investigator."
"That's quite a story," said Peter.
"How did you know about Pascal anyway?" asked Mike.
"Him and Karm actually had a partnership at one time.” said Frankie, “So in a way, if it wasn't for you guys, I won't had this great job today."
The guys were glad to hear that.
Just then, Tina approached them.
"Tina, we're sorry about your uncle," said Davy.
"It's ok, I knew about it actually.”
"Really?" asked Frankie.
"Yeah, I always wanted to go into finance checking.”
"Say, you want to get some coffee?"
"Sure Mr. Cat.."
“Please, call me Frankie."
Frankie took Tina's hand and the two left.
He then turned to the guys and said," By the way, thanks for the help."
"No problem." said Micky.
"You know, I think Frankie's gonna be ok." said Davy.
"You're not mad that he left with Tina?” asked Peter.
"Not really, I think this time Frankie deserved to get what he wanted."

A few months after their first date, Frankie and Tina were married, and The Monkees played at their wedding.
As far Frankie's career, the only time he went into show-business was to go under cover, making him one of the best undercover investigators.

The End