Things You'll Never Hear a Southerner Say
The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school (read Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.)
Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
What for? He can't see my license plate.
Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying,
"Guns don't kill people, I do."
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
Your car.
How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
Be too %#$@-faced to find your keys.
What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.
What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
The color.
How do you deal with heavy traffic?
Heavy psychedelics.
What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
Carry loaded weapons.
Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?
It would be tough to be a $@#!head all day long.
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