Would you seriously hire these people?

Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.

REASONS FOR LEAVING THE LAST JOB:

• Responsibility makes me nervous.
• They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning.
• Couldn't work under those conditions.
• Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches.
• I was working for my mom until she decided to move.
• The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous employers.

SPECIAL REQUESTS and JOB OBJECTIVES:

• Please call me after 17:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job.
  * Has a split personality, perhaps?
• My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I have no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.
• I procrastinate - especially when the task is unpleasant.
  * DUH! You mean there's another reason to procrastinate?

PHYSICAL DISABILITIES:

• Minor allergies to house cats and Mongolian sheep.

PERSONAL INTERESTS:

• Donating blood. 14 gallons so far.
  *It's something to be proud of!

SMALL TYPOS THAT CAN CHANGE THE MEANING:

• Education: College, August 1880-May 1984.
• I'm a rabid typist.
• I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award.
• Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain operation.