The First Realizations That You're Not In College Anymore /title> <HTML> <BODY bgcolor="#ffffff"> <font color="cc0000"> <center><h1>The First Realizations That You're Not In College Anymore </h1></center><BR> <HR> <UL> <LI>You're waking up at 6 am instead of going to bed. <LI>Beers at lunch get you reprimanded <LI>College sweatshirts are 'casual' instead of dress-up. <LI>Your parents charge rent <LI>The 4 food groups are no longer beer, pizza, ramen and cereal <LI>It's 'getting late' when it's 9:30 p.m. <LI>Three Words: School Loan Payments. <LI>You make thousands of dollars a year - and still can't afford that dream Porsche. <LI>You start eyeing the Light Beer section appreciatively. <LI>Pickup football games mean that at least one person will be in the hospital by game's end. <LI>Your friends are discussing,<BR> THEN: GPA's, phone rates and tonsil hockey; <BR> NOW: IRA's, Interest rates and their kid's orthodontia. <LI>Sleeping on the couch is a no-no. <LI>Naps are no longer available between noon and 6 p.m. <LI>Sneakers are now 'weekend shoes'. <LI>The letter from mom and dad now have portraits of their 'other' grandchildren instead of cash. <LI>Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one. <LI>Your girlfriend being pregnant brings thought of tax deductions instead of coronaries. <LI>Jack and Cokes become Dewers on the Rocks. <LI>The only drugs you take are Tums and Tylenol. <LI>That weak single you hit in the intramural softball game is now remembered as a Varsity dinger for the League Championship. <LI>You get your news from sources other than USA Today, ESPN Sportscenter and MTV News. <LI>You wear more ties/skirts in a week than you owned while taking classes. <LI>You find yourself reminiscing fondly of 2-hour Calculus exams. <LI>You empathize with the characters from 'Friends' <LI>METABOLISM SLOWDOWN. <LI>Football season tickets go from $75 for the season with dozens of friends to $750 for the season with the three other guys who get away from the family. <LI>Wine appreciation expands beyond Boone's and Mad Dog. <LI>You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time. <LI>Grocery lists actually contain relatively healthy food. <LI>When drinking, you say at least once per night, 'I just can't put it down the same as I used to'. <LI>You are the only person over the age of 16 in your neighborhood with a Sega/Nintendo 64. </UL> <BR> <BR> <A href="index.html"><center>Return to the main menu of jokes on this site</center></a> </font> </body> </html>