Yo Mama Jokes
This is a compilation of three different lists I got of these...
Now I understand that this list is REALLY long, but these are pretty funny (I deleted a bunch of these I thought were kinda lame...)
I've even divided them by category for you...
Yo mama's (so)....
Fat...
Stupid...
Ugly...
Smelly...
Like...
Old...
Poor...
Dark...
Short...
Nasty...
Hairy...
Miscellaneous
Yo mama's so fat...
Yo mama's so fat, her butt looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud.
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
Yo mama's so fat, she wears a watch on each arm, one for each time zone.
Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale, and it said "Get the f*** off!"
Yo mama's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale.
Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her butt weighs 50 pounds.
Yo mama's so fat, that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat butt out of the way.
Yo mama's so fat, when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas.
Yo mama's so fat, when I climbed on top of her, I burned my butt on the light bulb.
Yo mama's so fat, when she runs, she makes the CD player skip...at the Radio station.
Yo mama's so fat, she's got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls butt, she has to make two trips.
Yo mama's so fat, her picture fell off the wall.
Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side.
Yo mama's so fat, I ran around her twice, and got lost.
Yo mama's so fat, instead of wearing Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levis 10021s.
Yo mama's so fat, that when she puts on high heels in the morning, by the afternoon, they're flats.
Yo mama's so fat, at the zoo, elephants started throwing her peanuts.
Yo mama's so fat, she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen.
Yo mama's so fat, she's got more rolls than a bakery.
Yo mama's so fat, when I finished having sex with her and tried to roll off, I was still on her.
Yo mama's so fat, when I have sex with her, I have to slap her butt and ride the wave in.
Yo mama's so fat, when she bends over, we go into daylight savings time.
Yo mama's so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes.
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she looks at the menu, and says, "Okay".
Yo mama's so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
Yo mama's so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo mama's so fat people jog around her for exercise
Yo mama's so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
Yo mama's so fat she was in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world
Yo mama's so fat she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
Yo mama's so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway
Yo mama's so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint roller
Yo mama's so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
Yo mama's so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Yo mama's so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
Yo mama's so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama's so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo mama's so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.
Yo mama's so fat she's got her own area code!
Yo mama's so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen!
Yo mama's so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
Yo mama's so fat her legs is like spoiled milk white and chunky!
Yo mama's so fat I had to take a train to get on her good side!
Yo mama's so fat she wakes up in sections!
Yo mama's so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
Yo mama's so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!
Yo mama's so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
Yo mama's so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!
Yo mama's so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
Yo mama's so fat that her senior picture had to be airial view!
Yo mama's so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Yo mama's so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
Yo mama's so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!
Yo mama's so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
Yo mama's so fat she got hit by a parked car!
Yo mama's so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
Yo mama's so fat she has a run in her blue jeans!
Yo mama's so fat when she backs up she beeps.
Yo mama's so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo mama's so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up.
Yo mama's so fat she influences the tides.
Yo mama's so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
Yo mama's so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo mama's so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
Yo mama's so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her
Yo mama's so fat she stands in two time zones.
Yo mama's so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through
Yo mama's so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
Yo mama's so fat that she can't tie her own shoes.
Yo mama's so fat she sets off car alarms when she runs.
Yo mama's so fat when she wears a Malcomn X T shirt, helicopters try to land on her back!
Yo mama's so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
Yo mama's so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.
Yo mama's so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....
Yo mama's so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.
Yo mama's so fat she was Miss Arizona clbutt Battleship
Yo mama's so fat to her "light food" means under 4 Tons Yo mama's so fat The Himalayas are practices runs to prepare for her
Yo mama's so fat she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals!!!
Yo mama's so fat and stupid, her waist size is larger than her IQ!!!
Yo mama's so fat she was zoned for commercial development
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Yo mama's so stupid...
Yo mama's so stupid, she gave birth to you.
Yo mama's so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Yo mama's so stupid, she sold the car for gas money.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company.
Yo mama's so stupid, that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics".
Yo mama's so stupid, she stole free bread.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got stabbed in a shoot out.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks MCI is a rapper.
Yo mama's so stupid, she failed a blood test.
Yo mama's so stupid, she spent twenty minutes lookin' at an orange juice box because it said concentrate.
Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind.
Yo mama's so stupid, she told me to meet her at the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk."
Yo mama's so stupid, she was on the corner giving out potato chips yellin' "Free Lays!"
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to drown a fish.
Yo mama's so stupid, when the computer said "Press any key to continue", she couldn't find the 'Any' key.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks sexual battery is something in a dildo.
Yo mama's so stupid, she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to kill a bird by throwing it off a cliff.
Yo mama's so stupid, when I was drowning and yelled for a life saver, she said "Cherry or grape?"
Yo mama's so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer.
Yo mama's so stupid, she sat on the TV and watched the couch.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got fired from a blow job.
Yo mama's so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
Yo mama's so stupid it took her half an hour to make minute rice
Yo mama's so stupid she threw a brick at the floor and missed
Yo mama's so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends
Yo mama's so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make up her mind
Yo mama's so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl
Yo mama's so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!
Yo mama's so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo mama's so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
Yo mama's so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!
Yo mama's so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!
Yo mama's so stupid she bought a solar powered flashlight!
Yo mama's so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Yo mama's so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.
Yo mama's so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"
Yo mama's so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.
Yo mama's so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
Yo mama's so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.
Yo mama's so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
Yo mama's so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
Yo mama's so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!
Yo mama's so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!
Yo mama's so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
Yo mama's so stupid when she went to take the 6 train, she took the 3 twice.
Yo mama's so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.
Yo mama's so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.
Yo mama's so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
Yo mama's so stupid she couldn't read an audio book
Yo mama's so stupid it take her a week to get rid of a 24hr virus
Yo mama's so stupid it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg
Yo mama's so stupid she has to ask for help to use hamburger helper
Yo mama's so stupid she went to Disneyworld and saw a sign that said "Disneyworld Left" so she went home.
Yo mama's so stupid she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said "guess" so she said levi's
Yo mama's so stupid she called information to get the number for 411 ...
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Yo mama's so ugly...
Yo mama's so ugly, she's like Taco Bell. When people see her, they run for the border.
Yo mama's so ugly, that when she went to a haunted house, she came out with a job application.
Yo mama's so ugly, the last time I saw something that looked like her, I pinned a tail on it.
Yo mama's so ugly, she has to trick or treat over the phone.
Yo mama's so ugly, she pretends SHE's someone else when she's having sex.
Yo mama's so ugly, even a blind man wouldn't have sex with her.
Yo mama's so ugly, your dad first met her at the pound.
Yo mama's so ugly, you could stick her face in dough and make monster cookies.
Yo mama's so ugly and fat, Greenpeace mistook her for an endangered elephant.
Yo mama's so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo mama's so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Yo mama's so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
Yo mama's so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck
Yo mama's so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
Yo mama's so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras
Yo mama's so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
Yo mama's so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Yo mama's so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
Yo mama's so ugly she made an onion cry.
Yo mama's so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . . for a quote!
Yo mama's so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
Yo mama's so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!
Yo mama's so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
Yo mama's so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!
Yo mama's so ugly people go as her for Halloween.
Yo mama's so ugly she scares the roaches away.
Yo mama's so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
Yo mama's so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow
Yo mama's so ugly she has to sneak up on a glass of water
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Yo mama's so smelly
Yo mama's so smelly, even dogs won't sniff her crotch.
Yo mama's so smelly, when you were being delivered, the doctor was wearing the oxygen mask.
Yo mama's so smelly, her Sure deodorant is confused and her Secret deodorant told on her.
Yo mama's so smelly, that her crap is glad to escape.
Yo mama's so smelly, she made Right Guard go left, Speed Stick slow down, and Ban come off strike.
Yo mama's so smelly, she has to use Right Guard and Left Guard.
Yo mama's so smelly, she gets sourdough yeast infections.
Yo mama's so smelly, a skunk smelled her butt and passed out.
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Yo mama's like...
Yo mama's like a T.V., even a two year old could turn her on.
Yo mama's like a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered and thrown in the gutter.
Yo mama's like a rifle...four cocks and she is loaded.
Yo mama's like a bubble gum machine...five cents a blow.
Yo mama's like Chinese food...sweet, sour, and cheap.
Yo mama's like a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece.
Yo mama's like Burger King...Your way, right away.
Yo mama's like a squirrel, she's always got some nuts in her mouth.
Yo mama's like 7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents you can get a slurpy.
Yo mama's like a toilet, fat, white, and smells like crap.
Yo mama's like the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen.
Yo mama's like a street lamp, you can find her turned on at night on any street corner.
Yo mama's like a library, open to the public.
Yo mama's like a basketball hoop, everybody gets a shot.
Yo mama's like a 747, she has a very large cockpit.
Yo mama's like a microwave, one button and she's hot.
Yo mama's like a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter, and guys go in and out all day.
Yo mama's like speakers, loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her up, down, on, and off.
Yo mama's like a mail box, open day and night.
Yo mama's like a bag of potato chips, "Free To Lay."
Yo mama's like a turtle, once she's on her back she's f***ed.
Yo mama's like a paper towel, she picks up all kinds of slimy wet stuff.
Yo mama's like a bowling ball, you can fit three fingers in.
Yo mama's like a bowling ball, she always winds up in the gutter.
Yo mama's like cheap liquor, tastes like crap.
Yo mama's like a bus, guys climb on and off her all day long.
Yo mama's like a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her.
Yo mama's like a door knob, everybody gets a turn.
Yo mama's like Dominos Pizza, one call does it all.
Yo mama's like Pizza Hut, if she isn't there in 30 minutes... it's free.
Yo mama's like Sprint, 10 cents a minute anywhere in the country.
Yo mama's like a carpenter's dream, flat as a board and easy to nail.
Yo mama's like a gas station... you gotta pay before you pump.
Yo mama's like a goalie: she changes her pads after three periods.
Yo mama's like a light switch, even a little kid can turn her on.
Yo mama's like a telephone, even a 3 year old can pick her up.
Yo mama's like a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her away.
Yo mama's like a dollar bill, she gets handled all across the country.
Yo mama's like a brick, dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by Mexicans.
Yo mama's like a race car driver... she burns a lot of rubbers.
Yo mama's like a railroad track, she gets laid all over the country.
Yo mama's like a screen door, after a couple of bangs she loosens up.
Yo mama's like a shotgun, one cock and she blows.
Yo mama's like an aircraft carrier, has a flat top, a big bottom, cruises up and down the coast, and picks up 100 sailors in every port.
Yo mama's like a vacuum cleaner... she sucks, blows, and then gets laid in the closet.
Yo mama's like an ice cream cone... everyone gets a lick.
Yo mama's like the Panama Canal, vessels full of seamen pass through her everyday.
Yo mama's like a refrigerator, everyone puts their meat in her.
Yo mama's like cake mix, 15 servings per package!
Yo mama's like an elevator, guys go up and down on her all day.
Yo mama's like a window, always open.
Yo mama's like Denny's... open 24 hours.
Yo mama's like McDonalds... Billions and Billions served.
Yo mama's like McDonalds... over 5 billion served world wide.
Yo mama's like McDonalds... What you want is what you get.
Yo mama's like mustard, she spreads easy.
Yo mama's like the Pillsbury dough boy... Everybody pokes her.
Yo mama's like lettuce, 25 cents a head.
Yo mama's like a hardware store, 25 cents a screw. Yo Mama Misc...
I could have been yo daddy, but the monkey in front of me in line didn't use a condom.
If my dog had a face as ugly as yo mama's, I'd shave his butt and make him walk backwards.
The difference between yo mama and a jumbo jet: not everyone's been on a jumbo jet.
The difference between yo mama and a blue whale : about ten pounds
The difference between yo mama and a bowling ball : You can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball.
The difference between yo mama and a pretzel is that a pretzel doesn't have my nuts on it's chin.
Tell yo mama to stop wearing different color lipstick, because I have a rainbow dick.
I know yo mama's favorite day at work is "Take your son to work day". I bet you had fun testing condoms.
You suck, yo sista' sucks, and Yo mama would suck too... If I had a nickel.
You suck... Your mom does too but she charges.
I don't have a mama... My dad and I just use yours.
Let's get off moms, 'cause I just got off yours.
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Yo mama is so old
Yo mama's so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.
Yo mama's so old her social security number is 1!
Yo mama's so old that when she was in school there was no history class.
Yo mama's so old her birth certificate says expired on it.
Yo mama's so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Yo mama's so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
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Yo mama is so poor...
Yo mama's so poor she can't afford to pay attention!
Yo mama's so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers
Yo mama's so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
Yo mama's so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
Yo mama's so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
Yo mama's so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
Yo mama's so poor she wave around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning
Yo mama's so poor burglars break in her house and leave money
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Yo mama's so dark....
Yo mama's so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!
Yo mama's so dark that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.
Yo mama's so dark she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.
Yo mama's so dark they made a movie of her heart transplant called "From the darkest heart of Africa"
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Yo mama's so short....
Yo mama's so short you can see her feet on her drivers licence!
Yo mama's so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.
Yo mama's so short she can play handball on the curb.
Yo mama's so short she does backflips under the bed.
Yo mama's so short she models for trophys.
Yo mama's so short she pole vaults with a toothpick
Yo mama's so short she has to look down to look up
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Yo mama's so nasty...
Yo mama's so nasty she made Speed Stick slow down.
Yo mama's so nasty she made Sure confused.
Yo mama's so nasty Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off
Yo mama's so nasty she went swimming and now we have the dead sea
Yo mama's so nasty she joined the four horseman: war, death, famine, disease and Yo momma
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Yo mama's so hairy....
Yo mama's so hairy she look like she has Buckwheat in a headlock.
Yo mama's so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!
Yo mama's so hairy she looks like a Chia Pet with an afro!
Yo mama's so hairy she shaves with a weedwhacker
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Miscellaneous yo mama jokes
Yo mama's so greasy she used bacon as a band aid!
Yo mama's so greasy she sweats Crisco!
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles!
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow she spits butter!
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow I can't believe its not butter
Yo mama's so lazy she thinks a two income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.
Yo mama's so bald you can see what's on her mind
Yo mama's so bald that she took a shower and got brain washed.
Yo momma's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.
Yo momma's glasses are so thick she can see into the future.
Yo mama's house so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
Yo mama's breath so bad when she yawns her teeth duck.
Yo mama's lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray.
Yo mama's teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice.
Yo mama's mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound.
Yo mama's hair so nappy she has to take Tylenol just to comb it.
Yo mama's so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on.
Yo mama's twice the man you are.
Yo mama's is missing a finger and can't count past 9.
Yo mama's middle name is Rambo.
Yo mama's so grouchy, the McDonalds she works in doesn't even serve Happy Meals.
Yo mama's is in a wheelchair screaming "I AIN'T STANDING FOR THIS"
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