How to Know If You’re Ghetto
1. If you ever been beat with a race track, extension cord, shoe or if you ever been beaten' out in public (kmart, jewel, walgreens or just out in the street), yo ass is ghetto.
2. If you ever thought "red" was a kool-aid flava yo ass is ghetto.
3. If you refer to lightskinned people as lightskinded yo ass is ghetto.
4. If you ever thought pacifiers, condoms or keychains were back pack decorations...
5. If you take a plastic bag full of clothes to a sleep over…
6. If you ever ate a syrup, mayonnaise or fist full of bread sandwich...
7. If you think Denny's, Huck Finn's or IHOP is the after party spot, yo ass is definitely ghetto
8. If you put water in ketchup to get that extra lil' bit, gettofabulous.
9. If your chicken taste like fish and your fish taste like chicken because you used that same grease since Thanksgivin', yes you'er ghetto.
10. If on your b-day, there is a kid party during the day and the grown folk party at nite, your ass is ghetto.
11. If you thought your cousin from out of town was fly as hell and you would love to knock the stuffin of that a$$... yep you're G H E T T O.
12. If pliers are your remote to turn on the tv and change the channel...haha gettofied, you are.
13. If you rapped a whole NWA song when you was two years old but couldn't say your name... umm hmmm
14. If you ever put a battery in the freezer, thinkin it will recharge...
15. If your lil' brother is six with a cuban link chain, an earring and a girlfriend...
16. If your mom ever made MOM surprise as a gourmet dish, your ass is ghett-O
17. If seasonin' salt is in every food you eat...
18. If you don't know what the f*ck makes butter and margarine different, you're ghetto
19. If you got a brother with a different daddy and both of y’all don't know where he is, your ass is ghetto.
20. If you ate kool aid fresh out the pack...
21. If you ever made a kool aid ice POP in a cup...
22. Hot dogs and pork and beans... oh, hell yeah!
23. If you ever used a dish towel to hold water in the tub...ghetto is your middle name
24. If you thought Now and Laters candy was pronounced "loindladers"...
25. If the rain ever f*cked up your illegal cable... yep the cable your uncle put in...ghettopulous.
26. If the oven was used to heat the house and dry your clothes then cook...
27. If you would SQUEEZE your fat ass in some sh#t that's too small just cuzz its free... you're ghetto.
28. If you have to reach in or out the car to open a door cuzz one side is broke... man you ghetto.
29. If your time in the tub was limited, cuzz your brother had to use the water... you been blessed by that black Jesus that hangs on the wall in your living room.
30. If you ever sold or bought a book of 65 food stamps for $20 dollars...
31. Fellas, if you ever had your name or favorite sports team in your hair, you are ghetto.
32. Ladies, if you macaronize, dye, cotton ball, streak, extend, weave or find some sh#t on the floor to put on your hair...
33. If you ever had a S-curl...
34. If you think fish sticks = Gourmet Fish... you ghetto
35. If your mom ever stole silverwear or food from an all-you-can-eat buffet, I'm sorry, if you didn't know that was ghetto, now you do.
36. If you ever farted and lost some friends because of it... you ain't only a stinkin' ass... you ghetto too.
37. If you only go to church on Easter and you buy that special Easter outfit... God knows you ghetto.
38. If ever HUMPED somebody your ass is ghetto.
39. If you are 22 and ain't had your own room yet, your behind is ghetto.
40. If the first of the month is like Christmas around your house and you get to eat fast food that nite... ghettofied you are.
41. You are ghetto if you use clothes detergent to wash dishes and dish detergent to take bubble baths.
42. If you got ALMOST named brand cereal (Fruity Webbles, Crunch, Unfrosted Flakes)...
43. If that WIC check was the source of real Cheerios and cheese, with Juicy Juice, your ass has lived a ghettoed childhood.
44. If you ever shared your birthday party with a cousin because yall's b-day in the same month... both yall ghetto.
45. If you will sh#t anywhere (friends house, girlfriend’s house, outside)...
46. If you're named after a car that you will never get, your ass is ghetto(Mercedes, Portia, Lexus)
47. Street lights equal curfew...
48. If you ever tore the mold off of molded bread or scraped burn of burnt toast your ass is ghetto....
49. If you ever had the lights, telephone, or cable in your child’s name... your ass ghetto.
50. If you ever took a shoppin’ cart from the grocery store, then left it outside for the kids to play in, you and the little bad ass kids are ghetto.
51. If you consider your friends and famous folk your cousins... you a hood rat.
52. If you ever heard these words "If you don't kick his ass, I'm goin’ to kick yours", you haven't only been punked but you have been through a ghetto life.
53. If you eatin sh#t in the grocery store that you ain't pay for yet... you are not only stealin sh#t, you are also ghhhhhheeeeeettttttooo.
54. If you don't even realize stuff you do is ghetto... you ghetto.
55. If you use some clothes or a wash cloth to blow your nose when you out of tissue... your ass is ghetto.
56. If you got tape holdin in the batteries to your remote control...
57. If you got a kitchen drawer full of catsup, mustard, duck sauce, soy sauce or any other package from a fast food joint... you ghetto.
58. If you got a pair of Ellese, Champion, FILA, L.A Gear, Lotto's or B.K's... damn u getofab.
59. If your girl be sendin numbered messages, and you have to turn them upside down to read them on your pager... you and that lazy hefa is ghetto.
60. If you have friends named Ieesha, Ray Ray, Ronquisha, Yvette, Pookie, Jamal, Leroy... I'm sorry but you are definitely GHETTOED...
61. Oh... if you checkin this sh#t on somebody elses computer your ass is straight from the hood.
20 ways 2 know you’re on a
ghetto airplane
1. The windows are tinted.
2. The plane is sitting on gold rims
3. The stewardess's are all ex hammer dancers
4. First class, business class and coach are classified as: da bomb, hustlers, and playa haters.
5. Power windows for fly-bys
6. Pilot comes on the intercom and asks everybody for gas
money
7. Instead of the intercom chiming "ding ding" prior to the
announcements, it says "bling bling."
8. Floating devices have patches
9. Oxygen masks are turned into bongs
10. The pilot has to check in with his parole officer before take off
11. The pilot is doing doughnuts on the runway
12. All announcements end with "know what i'm saying"
13. The stewardess's have on fubu gear as their uniforms
14. Featured movies are "booty call" and the original"
shaft"
15. They serve forty ounces and pork skins for snacks and drinks
16. The plane has an AMG kit
17. You can pay for your tickets with food stamps or wic vouchers
18. The black box is really a scrambler
19. The seats are covered in plastic
20. Your flight got cancelled cause the plane got repossessed