Bah Humbug!

And Other Greetings of the Season

Gary West

December 21, 2005

Introduction

Ladies and gentlemen, where is the common sense and the common decency that we should be showing every day of the year – and especially during a holiday season that has so much meaning for so many people? 

Am I the only one disgusted by this Christmas greeting thing?

Just in case you’ve been off the planet for the last few weeks, here’s a brief summary:  A small group of “extremists” [1] takes exception to “Happy Holidays” and other things we choose to say to our families and friends about our – and their – winter holidays.  That group has hired lawyers and used the media in its attempts to force us to say its holiday greeting instead of something we may want to say ourselves.  That group has threatened to boycott businesses that don’t use its greeting, as well.  That’s the general idea – these people want something and they insist that the rest of us must do it their way.

Now, I don’t want to make these folks mad about this.  But I didn’t start it – and I’m certainly not the one to finish it.  But I do want to figure it out and put it into a context that makes sense to me. 

So, this is it.  This is what makes the most sense – the way I see it.  Many of you will see it differently and that’s OK.  The more we understand about each other, the better we’ll get along with each other – even if we’re very different.  (And we do want to get along – don’t we?)

But if I step on somebody’s sensitive seasonal toes, please remember that they’re the ones arguing against political correctness.  In other words, don’t preach it if you can’t live it. 

Unthinking Doesn’t Mean Unthinkable

I actually started writing this article last week; it was to be a simple top ten list.  But an editorial in my local newspaper [2] caused me to change the beginning – because they simply didn’t get it right – and they should have known better.

Specifically, the editorial writer made two important – and unthinking – statements about objections to some seasonal greetings:  (1) “…the objections are not necessarily because some of us say ‘happy holidays.’  What is objectionable, though, is when employers tell employees not to say ‘Merry Christmas.’”  And, in the same paragraph, (2) “It means [Christ] is denied once again.”

Let’s consider the first statement first – when employers tell employees not to say “Merry Christmas.” 

All of this started with a news story that Wal-Mart and other major retailers were instructing their employees to use greetings like “Happy Holidays” – instead of “Merry Christmas” – when greeting customers at the doors or at the cash register. [3]

Let’s face it folks – the sales at Wal-Mart and the malls have nothing to do with Christmas.  It’s about retail.  It’s about business.  It’s about money.  It’s about getting you to spend your money.

The “Christmas” business season is about 20% to 40% of annual sales [4] for virtually every retailer.  Every business hangs its “Christmas” decorations in an effort to get you into its store.  “Christmas” sales are about the money.  Each and every store uses the word “Christmas” to get into your wallet or purse. [5]

Each employer – from small business to mega-mall anchor store – pays its employees to make those sales – based on that employer’s business case.  The business case identifies what’s to be sold, how it’s to be sold, and the customer who’s most likely to buy.  In addition, the business case identifies how the company will make a profit based on that business case.

As part of its business case, many businesses require employees to wear uniforms – so customers can easily find someone in the store to help them spend their money.   The employee does not have an opt-out regarding the uniform – they wear it or they go home.

As part of its business case, every business provides training for every employee.  The employer, in exchange for paying the employee, expects that employee to do whatever he or she is trained to do.  That business case cannot be ignored by any employee – regardless of that employee’s personal beliefs or feelings. 

If you run your own company or if you manage a local store for a large company – and if you hire someone to do the company’s business – you have the absolute right to expect that that employee will do his or her job as you define it – just as that employee has the absolute right to look for another job if he or she – or you – is not happy with what he or she is expected to do. [6]

I’ll even bet that the employees of the local newspaper work under the same responsibilities – even as the editors unthinkingly condemn such action by other employers.  For example, I’ll bet the receptionist at the local newspaper cannot answer the phone with a perky “Good morning.  Satan’s workshop.  May I help you?”  Or even, “Yeah.  Whatya want?”

Please understand my point here:  Christmas is Christmas and business is business.  The two come together only for business purposes – not for Christmas purposes.  That’s not bad news; it’s just the reality of the Christmas business season.  More people sincerely understand that business relationship than complain about it – there is no reason the complainers should be dictating to the others.

Now let’s consider that other statement – that saying anything other than “Merry Christmas” to anyone who comes into Wal-Mart or the malls is a denial of Christ Himself.

That’s just hyperbole of the basest sort.  That kind of unthinking comment just politicizes an issue that has nothing to do with anybody’s politics.  It’s used more to fill space than to say something.

As I said above, the “Christmas” business season is already unrelated to the “Christmas” story.  During the “Christmas” business season, people of many faiths shop.  If I, as a business owner or operator, want to make every customer happy and welcome (and that is my job, after all), I’d best consider how to welcome all of them – and not just the few who want to complain that they’re the special ones (or, in this case, the chosen ones).

That statement about denying Christ again should be offensive to everyone – especially to those of us who greet our Jewish friends during their Hanukkah season and our other acquaintances whose faith we do not know.  We greet them in acknowledgement of the holiday season – without any denial that there is special meaning for each of us in that holiday season.  It’s just that the meaning may be different for me than for you – it’s not that my meaning has more meaning than yours (or vice versa).

And I certainly don’t have to tolerate somebody else telling me that I’m denying Christ because I choose to use a particular greeting with my friends or acquaintances – or with customers who seek my goods or services.  I don’t have to put up with such self-righteous pronouncements – from a little group of extremists or from the editorial writers at the local newspaper.

The editorial writers at the local newspaper have a right to their opinions – and they certainly buy the ink with which to print those opinions.  I’ll never deny that right.  However, I think they got this one wrong – and they got it wrong for one reason and one reason only.  Paul Simon summed it up best:  “I don’t believe what I read in the papers/They’re just out to capture my dime...” [7]

After all, ‘tis the season for doing exactly that. [8]

The Top Ten Other Holiday Greetings for the Thinking

You know – some people just have a way about them.  They don’t like their sister’s boyfriend (and they really didn’t like her girlfriend from last year).  They didn’t like last Sunday’s sermon (and they haven’t stopped talking about it all week).  They’ve never liked daylight savings time (they can’t remember that “fall forward” and “spring back” stuff – or whatever it is). 

They’ll even complain about Christmas.  It’s too commercial.  They give good stuff but only get junky stuff.  They don’t like canned cranberry sauce or fruitcake.  Or they think theirs is the only holiday in December.

So, we’re here to try to find some common ground – to help everyone get the most out of the holiday season.  We’re trying to help the joyful and the joyless, the happy and the scroogie, the religious and the secular, the right and the self-righteous.  And whoever else is left…

So; here are the top ten greetings you can use between Labor Day and the new year:

Number 10:   Happy LaboRoshRamaWe’enGivingMasHanuKwanz Year. [9]

Number 9:     Happy State Fair Week or Happy Mike Fair Week [10] (these are interchangeable – except, at one you get really good Polish sausages and at the other you sometimes get only bologna).

Number 8:     Happy My-Business-Case-Says-You-Have-to-Buy-a-Lot-of-My-Stuff-or-I’m-Gonna-Go-Broke Holidays.

Number 7:     Happy holidays to all our customers – regardless of your faith or philosophy (and quit telling me how to run my business).

Number 6:     Welcome to our Happy Holiday Boycott Season Sale – now you can save an additional 20% AND our stores are not so crowded.

Number 5:     Happy Jimmy Buffett Birthday (his birthday is on December 25, too).

Number 4:     Happy This-Is-Not-About-You Holidays (so quit whining and let other people enjoy themselves).

Number 3:     What’s Yours Is Yours and What’s Mine is Mine – so, how about keeping yours to yourself.

Number 2:     Happy Holidays – and remember:  the “Holi” part of that comes from “Holy Days” – not from some prickly little green leaves with red berries (or from some prickly little personality problem).

Number 1:     Remember the Reason for the Season – and act like you understand it.

So, What’s Left?

We are able to hold our individual faiths because our democracy allows us to do so.  Our democracy is based on the undeniable assumption that each of us can make decisions for ourselves – in our personal lives and in our business lives.  Our democracy also assumes that each of us understands that there will be consequences for making those personal and business decisions – and, thus, we have additional decisions to make regarding those consequences.  And so on.

Our democracy does not require that we do whatever anyone else says or that we believe what anyone else wants us to believe – although a few among us insist otherwise. [11]

Among the glitter and green of the “Christmas” business season, it seems to me that the celebration of the Christmas story should be a personal celebration – outside the retail environment.  There is no reason to take that personal celebration into the business arena – because the “Christmas” business season is not about the Christmas story.  So there is no reason for any group to expect that their personal feelings about the season would govern the business of the season.

On a personal note, I sincerely hope you have a happy Christmas (if this is your season), a happy Hanukkah (if this is your holiday), a happy Kwanzaa (if this is your celebration) – and just a plain old happy holiday season (in the hope you can and will enjoy your family, friends, and faith – wherever they are).

And may all your gift exchange lines be joyful and short – although not necessarily in that order.

Endnotes

[1]    I define “extremist” as anyone who believes he or she is right – and that what he or she believes is absolutely right for the rest of us too – never mind that the rest of us may be able to think for ourselves.

[2]    “No to ‘Merry Christmas’ makes a big difference,” The Index Journal (Greenwood, SC); December 21, 2005; page 10A.

[3]    See stories related to the “Merry Christmas” thing at the following links:  (1) CNN: http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/12/18/christmas.holiday.reut/; (2) Benny Hinn Ministries: http://www.bennyhinn.org/yourlife/InTheNews-Religion-News/Consumers-Battle-for-Christmas.html; (3) MediaMatters: http://mediamatters.org/items/200412100006  (4) WorkingForChange: http://www.workingforchange.com/article.cfm?itemid=20066; (5) Dallas Morning News: http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/121005dnrelchristmas.21935990.html; (6) FoxNews: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,177027,00.html.

[4]    The National Retail Federation states that “one-fifth of retail industry sales (19.9%) occur during the holiday season [November and December]” (http://www.nrf.com/content/press/release2005/forecast0905.htm); the Arizona Republic reported that “retailers can make … 25 to 40 percent of their annual sales in November and December  (http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepublic/business/articles/1129holidayshop29.html).

[5]    Instead of insisting that stores use the word “Christmas” in their sales literature, the “Christmas” folks should really be upset because the word “Christmas” is used just to hype sales – especially when the “Christmas” sales now begin in September – or earlier.  I’m pretty sure Christ never went to Wal-Mart or to a mall (although I could have missed that verse in the KJV).  If I remember correctly, His closest thing to a mall visit resulted in His throwing out the folks who were grubbing for money (Matthew 21:12-13).

[6]    I’ll use a specific example of this absolute right to expect employees to do what is assigned.  Several weeks ago, I pulled out of the local mall parking lot into the busy traffic on the bypass.  I had plenty of room to get into the flow – except that one pick-up truck was doing quite a bit faster than the posted speed limit.  As the driver came charging up behind my car, he sounded his horn in one long, loud note.  He then whipped his truck into the lane to my left (cutting off another driver) and passed me – with the middle finger of his right hand prominently displayed toward me through the passenger-side window – right above the name and phone number of the company that owned the truck and that paid his salary.  The owner of the company was not pleased with my description of the incident and assured me that the employee would never make that kind of “comment” again – at least, not on his company’s time.  That employer has the absolute right to tell that employee what to say and what not to say – because it is a reflection on his business.  (Now, look.  I’m not equating flipping somebody off to saying “Merry Christmas.”  But I am emphatically stating that a business has the right to manage employee behavior while the employee is on company time.  Without that right, the company cannot guarantee the quality of customer service – and, thus, the money it pays to employees is wasted in many cases.  At the same time, the customer has the absolute right to patronize or not to patronize whatever business he or she chooses – for whatever reason he or she chooses.  Those business relationships can be as complicated and complex as any personal relationships.  Everyone – employer, employee, and customer – has some responsibility for understanding and acting on that complexity.)

[7]    “Have a Good Time” by Paul Simon (http://www.lyricsdomain.com/16/paul_simon/have_a_good_time.html).  Please don’t think the unthinkable – that I’m bashing the local newspaper, specifically, or the press/media, in general.  I’m not.  It’s simple business.  They want to sell me their papers – just like Wal-Mart wants to sell me its stuff.  And, as in any business transaction, the first rule is “buyer beware.”  Better yet, it should be “buyer be aware.”  I look at what I buy – and what is sold to me (and those two things are not the same) – to see how it fits with everything else I know (or think I know).  That’s just good business – and the newspaper knows that; so, I don’t expect any hurt feelings because I disagree with what has been printed.  I just know that, in this case, it just doesn’t fit what I know – and it doesn’t fit what they know, either.

[8]    This is not a “scrooge” statement – about the newspaper business or about the “Christmas” business season.  It is the way things are and those of us who enjoy the season the most have understood that from the very beginning.  There is no doubt that business interests drive the November-to-New-Years holiday season.  We give thanks for our blessings – then, on the day after turkey and football, we go shopping.  That single day – now called “Black Friday” by the business community (because that’s the day that puts the books in the black for most retailers (http://home.hamptonroads.com/stories/story.cfm?story=96137&ran=175307) – generates as much as 10% of total retail sales for each year (http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepublic/business/articles/1129holidayshop29.html).  It’s just business – and it’s important business – from Thanksgiving to New Years.

[9]    This greeting includes Labor Day, Rosh Hashanah, Ramadan, Hallowe’en, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and the New Years celebration – which certainly shows my Judeo-Christian heritage (and prejudice).  For more holidays, you can go to any Hallmark store in any mall and get their free (or relatively inexpensive) purse calendar – which lists all the holidays celebrated in the known universe; then, check out the months of November and December (the recognized business “holiday season,” according to the National Retail Federation.  You can also check the Earth Calendar website (http://www.earthcalendar.net/index.php).  If you want to see a list of all the possible ways to say “Merry Christmas,” check out Santas.net (http://www.santas.net/howmerrychristmasissaid.htm).

[10] State Senator Mike Fair (R-Greenville) has been active in writing legislation that would put his personal beliefs into law – thus, requiring others to believe what he believes (http://www.thestate.com/mld/thestate/news/13433758.htm).  Senator Fair has pre-filed a bill in the South Carolina General Assembly requiring the teaching of Creationism in high school biology classes.   Senator Fair has made several attempts to require that his Christian beliefs be taught in public school classrooms – despite the constitutional issues involved and despite the public school enrollment of children from many other faiths.

[11] If you, personally, have a problem with letting other people make their own decisions, then democracy may not be for you.  Check your local library (or do a Google search) to find other types of governments that might suit your personal preferences in better ways.  As you do so, check to see how your alternative forms of government manage their local newspaper editorials – and the editors who write those.  But remember:  Our democracy works – but only when each of us lets it work for the rest of us.  As I’ve stated before, we are entitled to our freedom only to the extent that we can ensure everyone else’s freedom.

About the Author

Gary West has lived in South Carolina for more than thirty years.  He looks forward to the entire holiday season and enjoys the best of each celebration.  Quite frankly, this year’s controversy over holiday greetings is the silliest – and even the stupidest thing – he can remember in 58 years of celebrating the season.  Mr. West believes it’s just another distraction caused by America’s Puritan ethic – you know, the fear that someone somewhere is having a good time.  He hopes you enjoy the season – whatever your reason for celebrating.  You can reach Mr. West at garywwest@earthlink.net.  

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