Sunday, February 8, one of the USAID personal service contractors - Jim Conway - had a massive heart-attack
while playing tennis on the Residence court. I was in Church; Bill was working upstairs and didn't hear a thing. The
Embassy's medical personnel arrived promptly, but nothing could be done. There seems to be some evidence that he was
dead before he even hit the ground. Jim was 69 years old. He and his wife Maruja (Peru native) were very active in the
Diplomatic and Congolese communities. They lived in Africa for more than 20 years and additional years in Latin America,
etc. He was a food-for-peace and disaster-assistance professional. Maruja taught English & Spanish at the
Belgian School here. She was recently elected president of KinAcceuill (the French-language women's club similar to
the International Women's Club, which is English). Why do I tell you all this? It's because for Maruja that's
all at an end. She is living every foreign service spouse's nightmare.
When the Embassy employee dies, the spouse is "out." Basically we have no status. Because of
all Maruja's involvements, she wanted to accompany Jim's body to California, be with her children and other family, bury him
and then return to Congo to finish her teaching contract & pack out. Fine...but she'd have to do it at her own expense
and she'd have to move out of Embassy-provided housing. She loses all status. And with the current housing shortage
we have, it's unlikely the Embassy would even have been able to allow her to pay rent on her own for the apartment they occupied
(also the cost would be in the neighborhood of $5,000/month - not really in reach of a teacher's salary here). Actually
she would not be able to stay in the apartment because it's in an Embassy compound, she no longer would have the
appropriate clearances.
Maruja's & Jim's children are grown and live in California. But mulitply this many times over if they
had children who were young or school age. State provides counselors, etc. to help with the transition.
Of course, the family would want to leave with the body of their loved one, and that would be the return tirp home
for all.
We all mourn the loss of a good friend and colleague - Jim. But the foreign service spouses are also
mourning for our sister -- who but for the grace of God could be us! Jim's death made us all face the fact....our status
is dependent on the employee. If Maruja had been working in the Embassy, say in the Consular section or as the Community
Liaison Officer both of which are "Eligible Family Member" positions, she would have lost her job. The State Department
may have considered helping her transition to officer position if she were the counsular "associate" who had received
specific counsular training.
This is not news to me, I was very aware of this...based on our earlier Foreign Service experience.
Nevertheless, it's a very, very sobering realization when it actually happens. Many of the spouses believe USAID (Jim's
speicific employer) and State are being too beaucratic. But it's protocol and regulations.
I read once, that Mrs. Kennedy said this was one of the hard parts of her transisiton when President Kennedy
was killed. She stayed in the White House, I believe, until after the funeral & burial ceremonies. I don't
know if the Johnson's moved in (probably so for security & protocol reasons) or waited until after the funeral.
But, I read, that, while she was at the cemetery, lighting the eternal flame, the White House staff was packing and moving
her out of the White House. It's regulation and protocol. It really cannot be changed.
It is sobering and a sad reminder for all us spouses. Coincidentally, I had already invited all Embassy
spouses to our Residence for my semi-annual Spouses' Lunch on February 20. I plan to use that time to encourage the
spouses to share their feelings and to counsel as best I can those who need it. My message will be the same as any women's
group --- we must be prepared to care for ourselves in the worst case. We must know about finances. We need wills.
We need to be involved in the management of our homes and be prepared for the worst case scenario. For example, Maruja knows
nothing about taxes. Someone reminded her that taxes are due in April -- she said "what am I going to do?" Fortunately, I'm
sure her sons & daughter will be able to help her. And, that's why, as cruel as the State Department/USAID's position
is, it's good that she move back into her family's arms as quickly as possible.
Back to my message to our spouses, we only need to be as dependent as we let ourselves be. As difficult
as the transition would be, we do have amazing experience that can be translated into a new direction for our own lives if
we lose our spouse and, hence, our position with the Foreign Service. On the positive side, spouses in a hardship
post such as Kinshasa live everyday with the possibility of evacualtion of non-essential personnel. We have to be prepared...and
that may give us a leg up on our spouse colleagues in less tenative posts. But the truth is, if evacuated, we all expect
to be back within a few weeks to a couple months and pick up our lives again. We don't expect a permanent life-change.
Oh, one other thing to conclude this story, on Sunday when Maruja telephoned her daughter (4 a.m. Pacific
time); Maruja could not get the words out to tell her daughter about Jim's death. She handed the phone to me and said,
"would you please tell her." I tell you, I said a prayer and said the truely most difficult words of my life: "This
is Linda Garvelink, I am the U.S. Ambassador's wife. I am sorry to tell you your father passed away this morning. He
had a massive heart-attack; they did everything they could but he passed away." Of course, there was disbelief from
the daughter and I had to repeat it again. She broke down & I expressed our sympathy and told her I would hand the
phone back to her mother.
