This field of living includes our interpersonal interactions
with parents, siblings, children, relatives, friends and associates.
There are eight basic styles of relating and each person naturally
favors one of these styles over the other seven. One style of relating
is not better than any other, but in our minds we often try to make
it so.
Our ability to be sexual and intimate with one special
partner is also determined from this field. Marriage is not
part of this field, it belongs to the field of living known as physicality.
This is why some individuals may have a wonderful relationship while
they court each other, but a poor one once they start sharing phyisical
space.
When we sense a person is suffering in some way, how
often we find that it is due to some faulty relationship or interaction
with a spouse, parent, relative, friend, or enemy. Poorly functioning
relationships drag us down both physically and mentally, whereas good
relationships are catalysts for renewed vitality, bringing a sense
of peace and harmony to our existence. Good friends should be cherished
above all else.
Seminars on improving our interpersonal and love relationships are
rampant today. There is a relationship guru on almost every
corner anxious to teach us how to get along better with those around
us, and how to receive what we want from relationship. Much of this
information is useful, although often taught in an overall context,
I suspect, that reinforces the limitation of the ego. The emphasis
should be on helping others meet their needs rather than the more
egoic preoccupation of having others meet our needs.
The key is to understand and accept who we are in our
style of relating, rather than thinking there is some universal norm
for everyone to follow, such as “men are like this, and women
are like that”. There are some basic biological and psychic
differences between men and women, but there are also great variations
within each gender. The archetypal nature of these variations needs
to be more emphasized.
Sometimes a person’s health begins to improve immediately when
a certain relationship ends. This is tangible proof that, in the quest
for happy, healthful longevity, we cannot ignore our interactions
in the field of relationships.
Discover how you can have the healthiest and
most fulfulling relationships:
click
here
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