We met on Sunday, November 19, 2006, at the North United Methodist Church. People present were Dana, Christy, Don, Blandina, Greg, Adam, Kay, Lisa (me), and Terry.

Topics of discussion included the Asperger diagnosis (what is it?), anger (how we do it, how we manage it), becoming non-profit and finding an organization to sponsor us or something like that. GRASP would be too big, but maybe ASAN (Autistic Self Advocacy Network) would work.

We also talked about religion, homosexuality, politics, Autreat and having something similar here (talk to Terry if interested in helping get it started), getting help/services, the perfect job, computers.

The December 17, 2006, meeting was cancelled due to illness. I hope Greg and Kay are better now. My stomach is better--I went to the doctor and got more meds. I wondered whether Aspies tended to have stomach problems.

We met at the North United Methodist Church at 4350 Fremont Ave N at 4 pm on Sunday October 15. Kay was there and Greg was out ill. Adam came and I was there and I brought my family (boyfriend Joe and son Ben). Lee was there again. We had a new guy and I am trying to remember his name; I waited too long to write up this review (a week). I remember he found us browsing the internet.

I know Dana was out of town and Terry had a leaky tire, so they weren't there.

Topics we discussed included bullying we received as a child and how that has affected us through our lives, and we talked about racial issues and how different races and cultures deal with differences such as Aspergers and whether they seek out support or even acknowledge that the person is different. I think there were other topics, but I waited too long to write this review and can't remember any others.

There were several kinds of chips for snacks and water to drink. People can bring their own snacks or their own dinner if they like.

I didn't get lost this time and was the first to arrive at 3:45 pm. I waited in my car and another car pulled up, which turned out to be new member Jessie (a male). Greg and Kay arrived along with Adam at around 4 pm and we all went inside. We were later joined by Dana and her partner Donna, and new member Courtney, and Terry.

We sat around a circular table, Terry, Dana, Donna, Kay, Courtney, Greg, Jessie, Adam, and me. Greg and Kay brought snacks: corn tortilla chips, Oreo cookies, and a variety of pop and bottled water. People can feel free to bring other snacks if preferred or your own lunch/snack/supper. I suggested that since Greg and Kay are so gracious to bring snacks, that people who are able to (but is not required) can donate a bit of money to Greg and Kay if they like. (I got a full refund from the meetup site, so can help out with the cost of snacks.)

We had our usual random array of topics, jumping around from topic to topic, so if you have something you want to share, you don't have to wait to share it, just throw it out there and if it doesn't get discussed to your satisfaction, bring it up again. That happened a lot and happens a lot in our group. A comment was made that we don't do the polite taking turns in conversation, lots of random tangents happen, we just get to be ourselves.

But before I start listing some of the topics we talked about, I also wanted to say that in our meetings, we get to be our Aspie selves and no one gets upset if you have to stim or take a break from the group and sit out in the hall area where there are nice chairs, and no one is required to speak or take turns or be polite or be neurotypical (non-autistic). Also, not everyone there is heterosexual, we don't discriminate against that sort of thing or race or ability to work or not work or anything else.

Okay, now for the list of some of the topics we discussed. I say "some" because it is likely I might not remember them all and also sometimes there were two conversations going at once on opposite sides of the table so I might have missed something too.

Topics (I put spaces between them to make them easier to read, not sure what format I should put them in to keep them from being so overwhelming when they are listed all together in one paragraph):

Social security and how hard it is to get on it and some people's processes of getting on it and working or not working,

• Medications and how they affect us,
• Whether or not we have an official diagnosis (not every autistic person present had an official diagnosis),
• How some of us have a hard time getting taken seriously as a disabled person because we are so intelligent,
• How some of us have been bullied and treated in undignified ways,
• Other diagnoses we have other than the autism spectrum diagnosis such as ADHD and bipolar and other mental health diagnoses,
• The movie Mozart and the Whale and what it is about and the distribution of it,
• Different diets such as trying to lose weight as well as food sensitivities and diabetic diets,
• Sensitivities to sensory stimulation in general,
• Doctors and how some can be so horrible,
• How vulnerable we are and how challenging it is to get people to understand because we look so "normal."

I also need to remember to write up a blurb on Lisa Rivers as a good counselor for Aspies and Reach for Resources as a good place for Aspies.

I think there were other topics, but I should have written this last night while things were still fresh in my head rather than tonight! But at least I remembered everyone's names this time! :)

Oh, I almost forgot, we talked a lot about intimate relationships and how challenging those can be. And we talked about what kinds of things we do to occupy our time including some computer gaming things I am not familiar enough with to describe accurately. And at the beginning of the meeting, we had a brief discussion about how different names can be both masculine and feminine, such as Dana and Terry and Jessie. And we wondered where other missing members might be, hope everyone's okay.

We met on Sunday August 27, 2006, at the North United Methodist Church at 4350 Fremont Avenue N. The meeting started at 4 pm, but I did not arrive until 4:30 because I remembered the name of the church incorrectly and could not find it in the phone book, so I thought I would just go and hoped I would find it since I had been there before and knew the general area it was in. I drove around the area for 40 minutes and finally found the church and entered the parking lot from the exit, but was already too distressed to try to get around to the proper entrance.

Greg and a new member were outside. I was too discombobulated to remember any of the people's names. We went inside and another new member and Kay were there, plus a couple who had emailed me for information and I had told them about this group. The woman's name was Karen, but I do not remember her husband's name.

The topic for discussion was fragile X, but we did not get a chance to talk about it much. I was a lot more talkative than usual and kept interrupting people and was told a few times to let someone finish, I was having a really difficult time staying focused. I was really stressed out.

There was birthday cake and pop to celebrate Greg's birthday. I think I remember one of the other new members had a birthday also.

Lots of random topics came up, Karen and her husband were concerned for their daughter, wondering the benefits of getting a diagnosis, so that was discussed a bit. One of the other new members didn't have a diagnosis yet either and was in the process of pursuing it.

We discussed Mark Foster and other professionals and there was some discussion about an autism store and how they treat autistic people.

We had some discussion regarding discrimination against Aspies. We talked about the challenges of having a hidden disability.

We talked about relationships and our success or lack of success in them.

Sorry I didn't get this report in sooner, I'm still having a difficult time staying focused.

We met at the North United Methodist Church at 4:00 pm. Attending were Greg, Kay, Dana, and Lisa (me). The church has a doorbell that you have to ring so we can let you in, but it was hard to hear so Greg stayed upstairs for awhile just in case. We met in the basement in the fellowship hall, which is a big room with tables and chairs. We went down an elevator, which made me a little nervous, but there are also stairs.

Greg and Kay brought snacks and water, there were pretzels and nacho cheese tortilla chips. I had also brought my own lunch (some salad) and Dana also brought lunch too.

There were many interesting topics of discussion, including cars (Dana's VW bug and how they don't make them like that anymore, other cars, gas, E-85), guns (allowing, banning, usage, an offer to train me, eek! :) ), medications (the good, the bad, the ugly, how a particular med can be a death sentence for one person and a lifesaver for another), getting on social security (how hard or easy it has been for people), and other things I can't remember.

Oh, we also talked about Karaoke, and Dana demonstrated a wonderful singing voice. Dana also has a fascinating way of verbalizing things in a metaphorical way. (This was my first time meeting Dana.) So we also talked about music and Dana's Ipod.

Absentees: I checked my email and was reminded that Terry was at a kite-flying event. I didn't hear back from Adam, so perhaps he was doing something with his sister? I had talked to him previously about this meeting and I can't remember whether he had said he had something else to attend or not. I don't remember what they said about Jane and I am having a hard time remembering who else has come. I've invited people to join us from both Ruth Elaine's group and the Autism Society group. Hope to see more people next time! :)

We met at the Perkins at 7520 Universty Ave NE in Fridley at about 6:30 pm on Sunday, April 23, 2006. Terry was the first to arrive, then Adam, Joe, Ben, and Lisa joined him. Soon Greg and Kay arrived. We were seated fairly quickly and Kay had brought discount coupons to share.

Greg and Ben were on the discombobulated side, having had tough weeks, and other conversations included things that Lisa can't even remember. (I've had a really tough day--I should either jot down notes at the meeting or write this summary sooner.) (This was written the day after the event, for those of you reading on the website.)

I remember while we were waiting to be seated, we chatted about the tough things each of us were having to deal with at the moment. And at the table, people took the time to get to know Terry a bit more.

We discussed future meeting sites, including the park we've visited in the past, and possibly meeting at a more private venue such as a church. Kay was going to check on a church she knew about for possibly meeting at for our May meeting, and we discussed meeting at the park in June. (The public restrooms at the park aren't open in May, so that's why we didn't decide to go to the park then.)

It wasn't until I read my email later that night and people were talking about the cost, that I realized I had forgotten that I had said I would pay for first timer's dinners. I should have paid for Terry's dinner. I'll pay for your second one Terry, but someone will have to remind me.

On Sunday, Feb. 19, 2006, at 2:00 pm, we met at the Perkins at 7520 University Ave NE in Fridley. Greg and Kay were the first to arrive. They had gotten there early as they often do, and had ordered appetizers while waiting for the rest of us to arrive.

When Adam and Joe and I got there, it was 2 pm and we didn't know Greg and Kay were there already, so we asked for a table for 5, but as we were being led to the table, we saw Greg and Kay at a table for 6 because they were expecting Ben also.

We sat with Greg and Kay. Adam sat across from Greg and I was across from Kay and my boyfriend Joe was to my left. After we had ordered our drinks, Jane was able to make it after all, and sat across from Joe. There was a brief discussion about how nice it was that both Jane and I were able to come without our kids in tow and then we all ordered our food.

The food was inexpensive. Adam and Joe had just coffee and dessert which came to about $4 or $5 each, while the rest of us ordered various meals. Actually, I can't remember what the others ordered, but I had what was called the Captain's Catch, which had two cod fillets, many pieces of breaded shrimp, and many breaded clam strips, with french fries and onion rings. (Joe helped me eat it all.) It was $9.99 which was one of the more expensive items on the menu. (I didn't look at the prices of the steaks, which I am sure were probably more than that.)

Some topics of conversation included discrimination on the job and how fighting it turned out not so good for one person and better for another. We talked a bit about how we can be misinterpreted a lot and how people think we look too "normal" and can't possibly be autistic. Jane talked a lot about a lot of different things, and I remember saying something about the challenges of getting and keeping a job, several of us talked about the challenges of being parents, Adam and Greg also had many interesting conversations that I listened to.

We also talked about different characteristics and whether they are a part of being autistic or are just a part of being human. One of the characteristics we explored was obsessive-compulsive behaviors and how autistic people do behaviors that look like obsessive-compulsive behaviors but aren't really that. For some of us, those behaviors can be defined as trying to find a way to be in control of our lives when things are seeming way out of control.

Jane had to leave early and the rest of us stayed and chatted more until about 4:30. It was nice to be there without Ben because then I was more able to converse with Kay and listen to the others talk. Joe, our token neurotypical (non-autistic), did a lot of listening. He said we all seemed like very nice people.

On Sunday, January 22, at 6:30 pm, we met at Fuddruckers near Northtown.

There were six of us: Greg and Kay, Adam, Lisa (me), Ben, and Lisa's friend Joe (who was new). It was a different sort of restaurant in that we ordered our food at a counter and paid for it at that same counter, then we received a black square about the size of a coaster only thicker, that would light up with many lights when our food order was ready. We went to get our beverages and sat down to wait for the square to light up. We then went to pick up the food at another counter and could select our own condiments from a condiment counter (although I had to ask for tartar sauce from the food counter as they didn't have any with the condiments).

The food was a little more expensive than Denny's, but it was very delicious. It was very fresh food, I was told they ground their own meat. I had fish and chips (french fries) and I think several of the others had some sort of burger.

At first, Kay and I were on the two ends of the table with the four guys on the two sides, with Greg and Adam by Kay and the other two guys by me, but soon Adam and Greg were in a deep discussion, I didn't quite catch what they were discussing, but I remember Kay saying something about them being careful to not trigger each other's worst fears. (I think they were discussing something about world demise or oil crisis or something like that.) And Kay was trying to talk to the rest of us, so she and Adam traded places so that Greg and Adam were next to each other and could discuss what they were discussing, and Kay sat next to new person Joe and got to know him a bit more. It was discovered that Joe had seen Greg before when Joe was working at a nursing home and Greg was driving one of those handicapped transportation vehicles to Joe's place of work.

We also discussed as a group different movies we had seen and what kinds of movies we liked. I don't remember any of the titles, but I do remember that I had shared that I had recently seen Brokeback Mountain. I was sort of overwhelmed by Ben and attending to his needs and wished I could have been a part of the other conversations more. Ben's swimming practice has started and meets at the same time as our dinners, so in the future I think I might get one of Ben's staff to take him to swimming practice, then I will be able to enjoy the other conversations more.

The 2700 E. Lake Street Denny's has had a makeover since I was last there! :) More on that in a bit.

First of all, Ben and I were running late because I was having a bad day, and my stomach was a little upset, so I was ambivalent about going. The next door neighbor's loud music was the motivation I needed to get myself out of the house and to the restaurant before I had a total meltdown.

I was a little nervous about going there because of my previous experience, but as I arrived and recognized Greg and Kay's truck, I felt a little better. There was a car parked behind their truck and I wasn't sure whose it was and was hoping other people were there too. We parked in front of Greg and Kay. The parking is off of Lake Sttreet and is on 27th Ave S right in front of the Denny's which is on the corner of 27th Ave S and Lake Street.

As we walked towards the entrance, we saw them all seated at the table nearest the front window and they waved at us. Present were Greg and Kay, Rex and Jane and their children Anna and Rafi, and my son Ben and me.

I was impressed with the new atmosphere inside the Denny's. It was very much like my familiar Columbia Heights Denny's. They had remodeled the restaurant and it looked really nice, very new looking and very clean. And the clientele looked much safer than what I had remembered too. I was informed that Denny's had changed some of their rules about people just coming in and sitting, so that made the atmosphere feel much safer.

Greg and Kay reported that they were the first to arrive and that they were greeted in a very friendly manner and that the servers had no problem at all with the number of people they had planned on coming. They put three of the square tables together into one long table to seat 10 of us. After Ben and I arrived and sat down, I experienced a patient and attentive server who seemed interested in getting us what we wanted. And she was very apologetic when she had forgotten Greg's pop refill.

Either Rex or Jane said that whenever they have ever encountered a bad server there, the person ended up not working there for very long. So it seems that this Denny's has done a lot of work to clean up the entire place to make it much more appealing.

Topics of conversation included old cars as old as 1930 and how they were hard to steal due to being so complicated to drive, discrimination and other negative attitudes from jobs and family and friends and how some of them can't handle us being Aspies or just can't deal with us period, learning to get angry and have a backbone, Anna's birthday, web page updates, the new pleasant atmosphere at Denny's, Park Nicollet clinic doctors and psychologists and psychiatrists and our experiences with them, and I am sure there are other topics I've missed.

I had arrived in a sort of bad mood and had been feeling a bit discombobulated, but I felt understood and supported by my fellow Aspies and I felt much better when Ben and I finally left. I hope some of you who haven't come before can come (and I hope others who have come will return too, you are missed!), it's really a pleasant atmosphere amongst fellow Aspies and even if you are a bit nervous about the new experience, please try it at least once, we are all friendly and welcoming and you aren't required to keep up on conversations, you are free to zone out if needed and nobody will try to keep you connected, you can even bring a book to read or escape to the bathroom for a break and no one will mind. At our meetings, you get to be your Aspie self and we will all be okay with that because we will be being our Aspie selves too.

And if the cost seems intimidating, you can eat at home and then come for a cup of coffee or tea (I had herbal tea) and you don't have to stay the whole time if you are unable to. Also, if you aren't able to be there right at the beginning, I think it would be okay to come later if you let us know you will be late. I think most meetings at restaurants have lasted about an hour and a half. Once when we met at the park, we were there for several hours, and another time we met at the park, we were there only about a half hour because the sun was too bright.

Here is the report from our meeting this month:

We met at the Perkins at 60th and Nicollet. Present were Greg and Kay, Jane with children Rafi and Anna, Adam (the prodigal returns! Adam's been busy with family commitments), Larry, Lisa (me) and my son Ben. At times it was Kay and Jane conversing about something at the end of the table, Greg and Adam discussing future power resources, Lisa spacing out, Anna chasing after her brother Rafi (only two times and once was actually Rafi going after Anna to the restroom, I think the other time he was trying to find a wastepaper basket for his drinking straw wrapper), and Larry entertaining Ben, but most of the time we were all sitting around the table having conversations or listening to conversations. (I'm very visual and I get distracted easily, so I tend to notice everything, resulting in my inability to focus on much.)

We were in sort of a private middle room around a table with booths surrounding us, so the noise level was not bad at all. And we had a fairly decent waiter, although he misunderstood Jane's need to have Rafi's second egg now so they could be finished and leave, and he also forgot Kay's side salad, but otherwise he was very pleasant. And he was willing to divide up the check the way we requested, and at the end he apologized for having been short with Jane regarding the egg (he had assumed he was to bring it with all the other orders), and Kay explained to him how we are all pretty direct with what we need.

As Jane said in a previous email, she needed to leave early to take Anna to class, and of course Rafi had to go with them. After they left, Adam was alone on one side of the table, so while we joked about Adam doing public speaking to an audience, Larry and Ben moved to the other side of the table so we would be more even. (It was a long table with six chairs on each side, actually was three tables put together to be a long table.)

The conversations continued to be about future power sources, especially regarding cars and gas, with an effort to keep from getting into politics, and we also talked a little bit about web pages, good and bad counselors for Aspies, the Autism society, empathy, and probably other things I am not remembering.

We didn't linger too long as Kay was recovering from foot surgery and needed to go put her foot up to rest (I hope that's okay to share), and I think we were all about ready to go anyways.

So anyways, we hope to see more of you next month. We also talked about meeting at a different time since Anna has her class from 4-6 pm so we might meet either earlier or later. I think we are all open to suggestions for meeting places and times.

Here is the report from our meeting this month:

First of all, I think NT social skills are over-rated. I think as long as you get the essential things said, why bother with the formality of it all? I found myself thinking that after calling Greg to let him and Kay know we were running late. Basically I said Hi, it's Lisa, we are running late, we need to get food. Greg said they were running late too and thanked me for letting them know. I said see you there and we ended the conversation. I think NTs feel the need to be a lot more formal about it. I figure as long as we cover the essentials, no big deal. A lot simpler and easier if you ask me.

Okay, anyways, we were running late. We got there somewhere around 3:30 or so and Greg and Kay were there at a picnic table. Larry and Ben and I joined them. Adam wasn't able to make it after all, he needed to do some things with his sister. Larry and Ben and I finished up our Burger King meal we had purchased and Greg and Kay shared a white cake with lemon frosting and some other white frosting, with us, in celebration of Greg's birthday. It was delicious.

The temperature wasn't too hot, but the sun was very bright. The bright sun was overstimulating for more than one of us, it would have been nicer if we could have had a spot in the shade. So we all decided to leave early. As we were all either in our vehicles already or heading towards our vehicles, Terry showed up, so we all got a chance to visit with Terry before we all went our separate ways.

We had a brief discussion about where we would go next month. Since I wasn't there last month, I was able to find out why Currans was out (not very good food selection). So I suggested maybe a Perkins, depends on what you all think.

I hope Anna is doing better, sorry I didn't respond sooner to that, having my own struggles with depression with all the many changes I am trying to adjust to.

Lisa missed this meeting do to a prior obligation.

We had a small quiet dinner tonight. I'm so used to it being on the MeetUp site and reporting back that I wanted to report back. There were just 5 of us, Greg and Kay, and Larry and Ben and me. Adam's mom was in town so he was visiting with her. I thought it was really nice, Greg and Kay are two of my favorite people and I really enjoy spending time with them talking about Aspie things.

For anybody new here, there's a website called meetup.com where people can find people of similar interests to get together with in your local area. We had an Asperger's MeetUp group there, that's how we all got started, and we were meeting once a month for dinner. Then the meetup.com site decided to start charging groups, so we left and now we have this list and we still meet.

I'm not in charge, I just like sharing and reporting and informing newbies of things we do. Greg and Kay are the ones that started it all and it's been really great for me to meet with other Aspies and commiserate together how challenging it can be to live amongst these weird neurotypicals. Heehee.