Text: John 20:24-29

Strong faith entails doubts at some point, in some way. What does the story of Thomas the doubter teach us about the role of doubt in the lives of believers?

It was a college philosophy Professor that first encouraged me to doubt my faith. At first, I didn’t appreciate his meddling, because my faith was perfectly sound, thank you very much. But then he asked an age-old, troublesome question that I couldn’t easily ignore. With certainty in his voice, and a piercing stare over his half-glasses perched on the end of his nose he questioned, “Is your God is so big and so powerful, that your God can create a rock that is so big that even God cannot lift it?”

What an infuriating, frustrating, impossible to respond to question. The twinkle in my professor’s eye let me know it was a trick question, and yet, why did it irk me so much? Because regardless of the logical impossibility of the question, it raised the larger issue that there could there be questions that my faith could not answer, even something that was an illogical, twisted trick of the mind. I had what I thought was a strong faith, and yet, this logical impossibility so twisted my brain that I couldn’t come to terms with its inconsistencies.

Looking back, I realize that this question was invented by a society that encourages doubt. Such rhetorical impossibilities exist for us to question, challenge, rethink was really makes sense to us; what we really can and should rationally believe, and doubt. As it turns out, the question served its purpose well, for it caused me to realize that if some mysteries cannot be solved, which ones should I try to figure out, and which ones should I write off as “problematic”? Should I question the faith that had been given to me if I didn’t fully understand it? Should I question the church that can do so much good in the world, and yet perpetuate such evils? Should I blindly cling to the hope of the resurrection in the face of such hopeless events as the Virginia Tech murders, a seemingly endless war and ever increasing casualties, or children who are forced to live with abuse?

But questioning my faith wasn’t all I learned to question in college. Other professors were just as adamant that I question politicians and leaders of all types; commercials, media propaganda and television shows that present unrealistic images of life; whether romantic love really was the route to happiness; and whether the effects of coffee where helpful or harmful to one’s body. Beyond college, encouragement of questioning continued. After visiting a doctor, you may request a second opinion, anyone in sales cannot be trusted by the very nature of their profession, if your coffee comes to you so hot it is liable to burn you, you can question the proprietors and sue for potentially incredible amounts of money. We live in a society that encourages, affirms, perhaps even requires, us to doubt what we believe. Bumper stickers proclaim, “Question Authority;” teenagers are quick to disbelievingly respond, “yeah, right;” but perhaps the ultimate tell-tale sign that is culture encourages radical doubt is that it has produced a card game entitled, “I doubt it.” (The game is also called Bluff, and even BS in some, non-Baptist circles.) The whole purpose of the game is to try to bluff your way to the end, demanding and often enticing your opponents to doubt your every move. Indeed, we live in a society that regularly challenges us to doubt ourselves, those around us, and most certainly, the things we believe to be true.

And don’t get me wrong, I’m not arguing that all this doubting is necessarily bad. It hasn’t always been the case in the life of the church that questions are acceptable. One need only remember the story of Origen, one of the great church fathers and Biblical interpreters of his day. Origen lived in the second century, when persecution of Christians for their faith was common under Roman rule. Origen’s father was martyred for his faith, and Origen, as a young man, wanted nothing more than to follow in his father’s footsteps and prove to the world his great faith by being willing to give his life for what he believed. It was his mother who challenged his great faith. On the morning that he was ready to boldly testify of his great faith to the Romans, his mother found his clothes and hid them. He was willing to die for his faith, but not to leave the house naked to do so. Thanks to her resourcefulness, Origen lived with his great faith long enough to become a prolific theologian and church leader that has influenced Christians throughout the centuries.

Blind faith in anything, even something I deeply believe in can be destructive. In my office I have a quote of Albert Einstein that I regularly read, “Blind belief in authority is the greatest enemy of truth.” Yes, we live in a society that encourages doubting, and I would not relish living in a world that didn’t. However, if doubting what one believes is so important, then should one also doubt the belief that one should doubt everything one believes? If society rightly encourages us to question authority, then should we not also question the authority of that statement? Doubts and questions are essential in today’s world, but there are more and less helpful ways to doubt. There are times to question and times to believe. We encourage doubt so much because what we believe is so foundational to who we are. This is where the Biblical story of Jesus, Thomas and his doubts proves so helpful. This text gives guidance as to how to live with, embrace and refrain from embracing our doubts, all in relation to our faith, our understanding and lack of understanding, and our God.

The story of Thomas and his disbelief begins with Jesus appearing to the disciples. They had this great experience of spending time with Jesus, their leader who is no longer dead as they had thought. He was alive; he showed them his pierced hands; he calmed them; he breathed on them the breath of the Holy Spirit. What a radical experience. One might wonder why this great experience of Jesus and his disciples did not include Thomas. Where was he? Why was he left out? The text is silent, but can you imagine how it must have felt to hear of this amazing encounter from the other disciples? Whatever thoughts ran through his head, it was clearly not enough to just hear this story from his friends. He needed to encounter Jesus for himself. He needed to see this man who had wounds in his hands and his side. He needed to touch his skin, hear his voice, to know for himself of this unbelievable impossibility. Thomas had questions. The account from the others was not enough for him. And in the face of his questions and doubts, his actions reveal some clues as to what it means to question, to doubt, to struggle with one’s faith.

The story continues in verse 26, “A week later…” Thomas had to live with his doubts. They were not immediately answered, and a week later, Thomas was still there, doubts and all. Sometimes we must live with our doubts weeks, months or even years. But Thomas did not give up. The verse continues, “A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them.” Not only did Thomas wait, he continued spending time with other believers. He may not have understand or fully believed their experience, but he did not just write them off, either. He came, with his doubts, and waited with other believers. He did not abandon his faith or his place at the table, but he showed up, doubts and all.

While Thomas was present, in the midst of his waiting and his hanging out with the disciples, Jesus came again, offering peace. Jesus turned to Thomas and addressed him specifically. If you compare Thomas’ demands for what he needed to believe Jesus’ specific words to Thomas, they are almost identical. Thomas doubted and after some waiting, after some time spent with other believers even in the midst of his clear doubts, Jesus met Thomas and addressed his specific concerns. Jesus met Thomas where he was at and provided for him what he needed. Thomas responded, “My Lord and my God.” The only one who could address his doubts came to Thomas and gave him exactly what he needed to address his doubts. Thomas’ response was a proclamation of utter belief.

It was my very same philosophy Professor who encouraged me to doubt that also raised the question, in response to these unique experiences of Thomas, “Do you think, after his encounter with Jesus, that Thomas ever doubted again?” His point was that if we actually acknowledge our doubts of our faith, if we live with them, if we keep joining with other believers, if we allow God to still come to us and meet us in our uncertainty, that God will meet us in a way that will transform our doubts into a certainty that can never be shaken. And indeed, it has been my own experience that there is something transformative about living with doubt; something humbling, something mysterious, something profound. My questions are never fully answered, and I have had to live with uncertainty for long periods of time. But through embracing my questions, my doubts, my uncertainties; through living with them; through showing up and spending time with other believers; God has indeed met me in ways that have been so profound I will never be able to shake their affect on me and what I believe, what I have learned, what I have experienced to be true. I don’t know where you are in this process, but I can say with great conviction that living with doubts, that showing up even with your questions, that allowing God to meet you wherever you are at - opens the doors to profound experiences with the one who continues to bear the wounds of humanity. The story of Thomas teaches us how we can live with our doubts in such a way as to open up the possibilities of increasing our faith, through our disbelief.

But the story is not quite over. After this profound experience of Thomas, Jesus offered these final words, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” You who have seen, you who have directly experienced God are not the only ones out there. There are also others who have not seen; who do not know what you know. And how can those who have not seen know anything unless those who have seen, those who do know, proclaim what they have come to believe is true? Even in our doubts our faith is not just about us. There are others, there is a larger story, there is something beyond ourselves that we should concern ourselves with. For those who do believe, there is a need to share with others who do not believe because they do not know, because they have not heard. The end of the story is its beginning for people of faith, to proclaim, in word and deed, what we know to be true. If our doubts increase our faith, we are called to share this strengthened faith with others.

In the wake of Easter, believers learned that although Jesus’ life seemed to lead to death, to devastation, to destruction, there was more to the story. Jesus’ death also leads to life. It is common to doubt this, to doubt our faith in times of great uncertainty, to doubt the church when it is not living up to all it is supposed to be, to doubt the hope of the resurrection in the face of seemingly hopeless situations. The message from Thomas is to keep living with, keep hanging on, keep showing up and allow God to meet you -wherever you are, whatever you need. And when God meets you, proclaim what you have discovered to be true. Become a part of the living body of Christ that seeks to show others the hope of their faith.