Staff Writer

 

Elizabeth Taylor would have to get hitched every day for the next several years to keep up with much-wedded, tough-headed and who-knows-how-frequently-bedded Tina Vitale.

The sneaker-wearing, bubble-gum-chewing show bride waltzed down the aisle for the umpteenth time Thursday - throwing kisses all the way. She was escorted by Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Rybak, who fought back a smirk.

After she exchanged vows with Tony Nunzio in the upstairs ``chapel'' of the Hey City Theater, she and the rest of the wedding party led ``guests'' downstairs for a reception that served up pasta, dancing and madcap humor.

What a hoot!

``Tony n'? Tina's Wedding'' has returned after a rest - presumably so the characters could go on their honeymoon. The antics involve two working-class Italian-Americans and their families. They are at mock-Catholic nuptials, where the wedding party includes a pregnant maid of honor, Connie (played by Dawn Brodey), and her best-man boyfriend, Barry (Eric Webster). Others include a nun who does splits (Amy James) and the groom's father (Lee Walker), who arrives with his stripper girlfriend, Madeline Monroe (Amy Matthews).

Audience members are the invited guests.

``Tony n' Tina'' is funny and harmless stuff, full of single-entendres and surface puns (Tony vows to love Tina ``in good times and in bed''). It's a wise choice, in the script and production, to focus on wordplay - spoonerisms, malapropisms and all kinds of embarrassing slips of tongue.

This kind of ethnic-specific humor is risky business today, but the show has a huge heart. Besides, laughter is the ultimate disarmer. And there are so many guffaws here, you forget yourself.

The comedy is not so much directed as sliced - as in ham - by Ross Young. He paces it quickly in the early part and slowly, like an inebriated party guest, near the end. He has a gung-ho all-star cast.

Michael Egan, who plays Tony, and George Keller (Tina) sink their teeth into this one, really letting it rip.

While much of the show is scripted, ``Tony n' Tina'' has room for improvisation. On opening night, for example, Rybak took an urgent call on his cell phone during a chapel skit. The mayor mumbled, ``Tell him to get off the hood,'' a reference to the Randy Moss traffic incident. It brought the house down.

 

Review: Much-wedded, tough-headed Tony Nunzio and Tina Vitale serve up pasta, dancing and madcap humor in this hoot of an interactive wedding.

 

 

 

KLBB boldly backs away from canned shtick

BY BRIAN LAMBERT

 

 

Not that Clear Channel Communications ? with 1,300 radio stations, give or take a dozen ? has even heard of KLBB-AM 1400 & 1470, but the Orwellian media behemoth could take a cue from the little (Minnesota Public Radio-owned) station and start whacking back the syndicated, canned, robo-jock "voice tracking" shtick it is spreading across the country.

KLBB, home of "America's Best Music" (a lot of Frankie and Deano and Tony and Ella), formally launched its new schedule Monday and actually added local voices while parting ways with syndicated programming.

Pam Lundell (formerly Pam Reed in her Smooth Jazz 104.1 and WMNN incarnations) is KLBB's new "Breakfast Club" morning drive host, from 6 to 10 a.m. She'll be assisted by her husband, familiar Twin Cities traffic-watcher, John Lundell.

Eric Webster, the St. Paul Saints' PA announcer and recently a TV personality with the KSTC-TV, Channel 45, "Big Bad Movie," is doing KLBB's "Two Martini Lunch" from noon to 1 p.m. (two songs in a row by the same artist or the same song back to back by different artists).

Reed Hagen, the station's program director, hosts from 3 to 7 p.m., the final hour as in-studio host for the prerecorded "Music From the Club Lounge."

Hagen says the remaining three hours, from 10 a.m. to noon and from 1 to 2 p.m., will be converted to local production, "hopefully in a couple weeks or so," either with new hosts or expanded slots for existing personalities. (The 2 to 3 p.m. slot apparently remains set with the "SuperSaver Radio Hour" with Roy Smith.)

Hagen is promising more of what KLBB's core audience seems to like best, the Sinatra/Ella/Mel Torme-style classics, and more music and interviews from local artists and/or artists performing in the Twin Cities. If this means less Celine Dion and Barry Manilow, we're talking a winner, at least in tastefulness if not Clear Channel-like revenue flow.

It comes as no surprise that Hagen, who has been with KLBB for 20 years, isn't a fan of Godzilla radio's Anywhere U.S.A. programming strategies.

"I personally never thought you could program for an entire country," he says. "I mean, obviously, syndicated radio will be on the mark some of the time, but it just doesn't give you the local artists you need. There are still regional differences, after all.

"But by no means are we going 24/7 with local artists. It's just that, over the years, we've built relationships with people like Charmin Michelle and Arne Fogel, and I think it's important we keep our listeners up on what they're doing."

 

 

 

6/4/00 ST. PAUL, Minn. -

 

"Train."

The word came over the stadium loudspeaker with no inflection. Just the word. Agent Mulder of "The X-Files" couldn't have sounded more bored. What train? Then, in the outfield, a freight train chugging from left field to right. It was actually just beyond the fence at the minor-league stadium where the St. Paul Saints were playing the Winnipeg Goldeyes. But just. "Is this the line for a massage?" I heard someone ask as I climbed the stadium steps. "On the left," came a cheery reply from another fan. I scooted past the massage chair and nodded at the massage therapist, then squeezed by the beer man wearing the Nixon mask. I made my way to the stands behind home plate, where a hairstylist tossed a barber's apron around a fellow in khakis and a sport shirt. He settled in for his haircut and a great view of the batter. "Really slow train." It was the same monotone baritone, and I couldn't help but look toward the outfield, where the walls were plastered with ads, which also ascended the light poles. An incredibly sluggish train had just appeared beyond left field. Here at Midway Stadium, a Saints game is more than baseball. It's a happening, embraced by residents. But even more, it's about the way St. Paul, always the lesser twin in this Northern metropolis, handles its second-string status. Is it that St. Paul finally got fed up with comparisons to Minneapolis and decided to stop worrying about it? Not quite. But nowadays St. Paul seems to revel in its second-rateness. Its quirkiness is a matter of pride. St. Paul is cool. Watching the Saints is one of the best ways to experience this. Home games nearly always sell out, even though the Minnesota Twins, major leaguers, play just a few miles away. There are other ways, such as poking around the shops along St. Paul's Grand Avenue, rather than making a pilgrimage to the Mall of America, or touring the homey, compact and free zoo in Como Park. Another is to take the St. Paul Gangster Tour. While other cities have been reluctant to play up their gangster ties, the St. Paul tour has been popular with locals and tourists for years. More on that later. I headed to the Saints game from my downtown Minneapolis hotel in an inadvertently symbolic way, by zipping past the empty, some say sterile, Metrodome. That's where the Twins play their home games - inside. It was a Thursday evening in August, with a few puffy clouds in a blue sky and a game-time temperature of about 75 degrees. The stadium had one place to buy tickets and one entrance, in front of which a three-piece Dixieland band played. The blue stands were decorated with potted petunias and geraniums. Fans shuffled in from their pregame tailgating parties. It would be another sellout, with more than 6,000 devoted followers on hand. "Hey, Saints fans," called the announcer. "Are you ready for some baseball - outside?" Not just baseball, of course. Soon contestants in the "public humiliation" event would be called forth. Another fan would be chosen to race a giant Subway sandwich around the infield. Coming up was the new car giveaway: "At least it will be new to them," said the announcer. But first, a pig, the Saints' mascot, trotted onto the field to deliver the game ball. I met Bob Betzold after his haircut. Looked good, I told him. "It's a treat for my wife," Betzold said. "She doesn't have to cut it now." Betzold and his son, David, are into the Saints. They're the kind of fans who camp overnight when game tickets first go on sale. They are not into the Twins. "I just can't stand the dome," Betzold said. "On a night like this, would you go inside?" Not on your life. But it might sound inviting on a cold, drizzly Minnesota day in April. Of course, I didn't say this to him. It seemed as if Betzold were revving up to deliver one of those baseball-is-life soliloquies you hear in a Kevin Costner movie. "The sky's going to go to black," Betzold said. "The grass is going to take on a whole different hue. The trains will go by. ... " Some even stop. "Stalled train," deadpanned the announcer. Anyway, you have to admire the disposition of people who practically get choked up about passing freight trains. Meanwhile, a lot of other stuff was going on. Fans lined up for the 10-minute, $8 therapeutic chair massages offered by a local massage school. Women got their nails done at various stations next to the stands. People were buying $4 walleye sandwiches. Between innings, a fan named Alice beat the Subway sandwich to home plate. Other fans tried to throw baseballs into a hockey goal, which was defended by someone in full goalie regalia. Fans Paul and Joe were ecstatic, having just returned from the field as "public humiliation" contestants. They ran around a baseball bat 10 times, then dizzily flopped around on the turf. "Man, I went down hard," said Joe, banged up but glad he finally got picked for the experience. Later, fans Lauren and Mike stood next to giant easels to see who could draw the best train, as determined by crowd applause. It was also "shirt off your back" night. Fans won shirts off the backs of Saints players: "Nothing like a sweaty guy's jersey," said the announcer. At the seventh-inning stretch, for some reason, a lanky guy dressed sort of like Woody in "Toy Story" did the singing. Somehow, with all this, people actually paid attention to the game. An umpire's call against the Saints brought on choruses of boos, not to mention contempt from the announcer. "Whatever," he said. But most striking about the whole experience was how jovial - and neighborly - the fans seemed to be. This was their little team, these ballplayers who make squat for salaries and ride buses to away games. This was their little workaday ball field, where they chat with the players over the railing. As at most sporting events, I assume the crowd can get unruly at times. But from what I saw, you'd have to be a dedicated grump not to get caught up in the silliness and congeniality. You feel the influence, however indirect, of comedian and movie star Bill Murray, a member of the Saints' ownership group along with Mike Veeck, son of the late White Sox owner Bill Veeck. A guy with two beers in his hands walked up to a portly St. Paul police officer, who was showing his handcuffs to a toddler. The man pretended to hand one of the beers to the cop and said, "Here you go, but this is the last one I'm going to get you." The joke brought a roar from nearby fans. It was the same sort of gregariousness I found on the St. Paul Gangster Tour. Hearing about an unsavory St. Paul, a 1920s and '30s haven for gangsters under the protective eyes of the police administration, didn't sour anyone's mood in the least. Part of this was due to the excellent job by Cynthia Schreiner, a local actress who narrated the bus tour. She dressed like a gangster's girlfriend, toted a Tommy gun and told jokes as well as gangster stories in a 1920s gangster-movie patois. She made fun of her ability to remain perfectly upright on a moving vehicle, crediting her low center of gravity: "See, ladies, eat lots of chocolate because you never know when you'll be riding backward on a bus." The tour began at the Wabasha Street Caves, an underground, sandstone den where the Castle Royal nightclub once reigned. It stopped at courthouses, post offices, apartment buildings and other spots where the likes of Alvin "Creepy" Karpis and the Barker gang involved themselves in kidnappings and shootouts. Schreiner explained how then-Police Chief John O'Connor developed his system that made St. Paul a haven for gangsters. She mentioned Kansas City as another such haven. (In fact, Metropolitan Transportation Services Inc., a Kansas City area tour operator, has just begun a similarly themed tour.) And she passed around her Tommy gun replica, which, she noted, would have a severe vertical rise if employed. "They didn't care about accuracy; they just wanted to get away," she said. While St. Paul seems to cherish its past and its charm - more so than its dominant twin - the city isn't standing still. A new science center opened in December on the Mississippi riverfront, and an arena has been readied here for the area's new National Hockey League team, which begins play this fall. But there are limits. Voters last fall turned down a public-financing plan to build a new baseball stadium in St. Paul for the Twins. Maybe it was a bad deal financially, but I think there was a better reason: to retain some of that beloved St. Paulness. A new stadium, for instance, wouldn't feature trains chugging past the outfield fence. Which brings up my favorite train episode at Midway, near the end of the game. I hadn't known there was another set of tracks, set above the busy ones. I looked up when I thought I heard two trains at once. I was right. And this time, the announcer was positively animated. "Hey fans," he said, "it's a rare double train!"

 

 

 Louie and Roseanne might be the biggest New Year's Eve comedy show, but they aren't the only one.

(Wild) Bill Bauer, a Far Side cartoon incarnate, will headline two wildly different shows Monday. The 8 p.m. production will be a PG-13 affair, with adult humor but no four-letter words. But it's grownups only at the 10:30 p.m. performance, featuring R-rated language and taboo topics, but (he promises) no nudity! Sharing the stage are Darlene Westgor, Chris Jurek and Eric Webster (announcer for St. Paul Saints & former host of Ch. 45's "The Big Bad Movie.")

 

By Judd Zulgad; Staff Writer

 

Facing an economy that shows little sign of picking up anytime soon, Hubbard Broadcasting on Tuesday laid off at least 27 workers, instituted a company-wide wage freeze and canceled several local news programs.

The biggest impact was at KSTP-TV (Ch. 5) and sister station KSTC (Ch. 45), where 20 full-time and four part-time station employees and support personnel were let go.

Gone immediately are KSTP's Saturday and Sunday morning newscasts. KSTC's weekday morning and 6:30 p.m. newscasts will cease after Friday. KSTC's live newscasts from 9 to 10 p.m. will continue.

Cut from the news department of KSTP/KSTC were reporters Heather Filkins, Bridgette Bornstein and Gail Plewacki, three producers and one manager.

In addition, Eric Webster and Isaac Witty - the hosts of KSTC's "Big Bad Movie" - have been terminated, and the KSTP Broadcast Center Store at the Mall of America will close when the lease expires in July 2002.

"It's no secret for anybody who follows the industry that this year is a really bad year and the events of Sept. 11 didn't help that. It hurt it dramatically," said Robert Hubbard, president of Hubbard Television group and vice president of Hubbard Broadcasting. "I'm not trying to put it in the same category as someone who lost a friend or loved one, but it did have a brutal impact on our business.

"If you look across the list of major broadcast companies, almost all have had meaningful layoffs prior to now. They did it much earlier because of the decline in the business. We held out as long we could, but it became clear the economics have changed."

Ed Piette, vice president and general manager of KSTP/KSTC, lamented having to make the cuts. "It's extremely tough," he said. "It's distasteful. This is the step you hope you never have to take and one you hope you will never have to take again because these are all good people."

Piette, who pointed out that Twin Cities broadcast marketplace revenues are in double-digit decline, said the decision was made at the end of last week and last weekend.

However, he was quick to say these moves will not stop the development of KSTC, which Hubbard bought in 1999.

"It just slows down a very aggressive programming plan made in a different economic climate," he said. "We have been very aggressive in our approach to programming [Channel] 45 on a local level and this certainly slows that plan down and will for the foreseeable future. We'll have to reassess when the economy shows signs of improvement, especially as it relates to the advertising economy."

Scott Libin, news director at KSTP and KSTC, was asked if he was worried about the effect this would have on the news department and its coverage. "I can't say I'm unconcerned, but we are canceling newscasts and in that way we are ensuring we will have more than adequate resources to compete and do the job as it should be done," he said.

As far as future cuts, Piette is hoping this is the only round but he added: "Every day that goes by I continue to be amazed by the events going on in the world. So, you are sort of reacting and responding to the business conditions that result from those events."

 

 

Former Stillwater coach George Thole will join hosts Brad Lane and Eric Webster from 9 p.m. to midnight each Friday on KSTP Radio (1500 AM) for the "High School Scoreboard Show."

The program, which will run through the Prep Bowl, also will be carried on 30 affiliates statewide.

"I have a face for radio," Thole said. ". . . This is all new and exciting. I've done a lot of interesting things already. We'll throw opinions out there and have awards for team and players of the week."

 

By John Millea; Staff Writer

 

Meanwhile, in the stands, whoopee cushions were distributed to the like-clockwork crowd of 6,329, and mass, air-releasing sit-downs were orchestrated throughout the game by stadium announcer/wise guy Eric Webster.

"Lots of people think all the games are sold out right away, because of the big line, but there will be tickets available all the way until June," said team spokesman Eric Webster.

Mike Veeck still has an ownership interest in the Saints, even though he bought the Sioux Falls Canaries last winter. What's going to happen when the Saints play the Canaries? "We'll call him a traitor," Webster joked.

You know how the Saints have a pig carry balls out to the umpire between innings? Word is that Veeck found a kangaroo to do it in Sioux Falls.

 

Saints hire Webster

 

Eric Webster, a talk-show host and production coordinator at KFAN radio, has been hired as media relations director of the St. Paul Saints, the baseball club announced. Webster, 31, was the team's public-address announcer last season.

 

 Calling all `ushertainers'

 

The St. Paul Saints, who always provide lots of extracurricular entertainment during their Northern League games at Midway Stadium, want to add even more diversions.

The baseball team will hire 14 usher/

entertainers for its 45-game season. No one's sure exactly what these ``ushertainers'' will do, but auditions are scheduled for Feb. 23 and 24 at the Hey City Theater in downtown Minneapolis. For more information, call the Saints at 651-644-6659.

They want a variety of talents, from sword-swallowing to juggling, but are open to any surprising or amusing skill that will keep fans entertained.

``Hopefully, it will combine a little of Cirque du Soleil, a little of WWE [World Wrestling Entertainment] and some of the Renaissance Festival,'' said Tom Whaley of the Saints.

The Saints also promise to send nine players onto the field to play baseball.

 

 

The cutbacks also include Eric Webster and Isaac Witty, hosts of KSTC's "The Big Bad Movie."

 

Brian Lambert, Staff Columnist

 

The entertainment quotient will include ``The Big, Bad Movie'' weekday nights, hosted by Eric Webster, Holly Henson and Isaac Whittey.

 

*Eric Webster will continue as the Saints' public address announcer despite taking a job with DirecTV last year. Webster, hired as host of an infomercial program, flies to Los Angeles every two weeks to tape several shows.

Saints broadcaster Anthony LaPanta replaced Webster as the team's media relations director.

 

Brian Lambert, Staff Columnist

 

Where have you gone, Tommy Mischke? Still on leave, we're told by KSTP-AM program director Todd Fisher.

This is essentially the same, formal response KSTP has given since Mischke, host of the station's 8-to-10 p.m., post-Jason Lewis slot, stepped away from the mic more than two months ago.

Mischke, whose Bohemian attorney riffs have inspired a loyal cult following, is, we're told, dealing with a non-life-threatening personal medical issue. But the prognosis has been vague enough that KSTP has sounded uncertain of his return ever since he left.

For the record, Fisher is now saying, ``Tommy is on a leave through the beginning of the year.'' It remains to be seen if this means Mischke will be back after Jan. 1, or whether the station has simply blocked out the next six weeks and done some formal rescheduling.

Until New Year's, at least, Eric Webster is substituting for Mischke Monday through Thursday

 

LAURA BILLINGS Staff Columnist

 

... Also hire announcer Eric Webster, the one whose sardonic ``Whatever'' each time the other team scores can make losing seem like fun.

 

Ray Richardson, Staff Writer

 

Even the game-show spirit of Saints public address announcer Eric Webster failed to make ``baseball outside'' a joyful experience Sunday at Midway Stadium. 

 

...``We have to keep reinventing the wheel,'' said Eric Webster, the Saints' media relations director. ``We consider ourselves one of the best promotional companies in the world.''

 

``We have a lot of renewals, but a lot of advertisers call us up and want to be a part of this,'' Webster said. ``The whole point is we have some long-term commitments. We're selling what we're doing, and it's working for our clients.''

 

``Mike Veeck is the prince of promotions, and he learned from (his father) Bill Veeck, who is the all-time king of promotions,'' Webster said. ``We've all learned from the master, and we feel we can do this ourselves. One of the things (Mike Veeck) has taught us is to look at the world in a broader fashion. Once you do that, you start seeing more options. It's amazing how many stupid things and ideas you can come up with when you look around.

``We also have a lot of freedom to see if our ideas will work. If you think something is really funny and someone says they don't get it, you're still allowed to do it if you truly believe in your idea. We are encouraged to fail, because that's the only way you can find the keys to being successful.''

 

Rick Shefchik, Staff Writer

 

...Eric Webster, the team's director of media relations and its public address announcer, said Monday that regardless of who buys Veeck's piece of the team, nothing will be changed because ``It ain't broke.''

The only concern in the Saints' office, according to Webster, is that the public will read too much into Veeck's departure.

``The fear is that the perception will be Mike was the magic,'' Webster said. ``He definitely was a huge part of it, but the staff here was hand-picked by him and put in place by him. We did it last year when he was in Charleston most of the year. Nothing is going to change; in fact, we're going to add more. The fans will still be treated with the same amount of respect.''

Webster said actor Bill Murray is expected to retain his share of the team and be around the club again next year. 

 

... Meanwhile, the Saints will name news reader Eric Webster of KFAN-AM as their public address announcer.