Fat Jenga!

Tensions were running high and sobriety hit new lows on one terrifying night in May (April? June? Not a clue.).

The evening didn't start out bad. The Fatties just wanted to have a good time. A night at home. No stress. No mockery. No blood. And apparently no fun.

Someone said, "Hey, let's get a board game." Someone else said, "Hey, that's a good idea." Someone else said, "Hey, let's get a game that will make everyone nervous and angry!" Fatty said, "Hey, let's buy me a burger and a pie."

We went to Target, where Chris and I rode bikes and threw things at other shoppers. Ryan and Kelly and Liana bought real things, like Mentos and deodorant. And in the game aisle, we all made a near-fatal mistake _ we picked Jenga! over Operation! (exclamation points included).

Look how miserable everyone looks. Well, except for Kelly, who apparently grew up playing Jenga at Girl Scout camp. (I'm not kidding, folks. Kelly was a Girl Scout until like two months ago, when they kicked her out for hitting on a 7-year-old Campfire Girl. Big tabboo, dating between girl groups.)

Anyway, here we are looking fretful, especially Liana. Poor Liana was in tears several times throughout the night.

By the way, I don't even remember who won. It was a long time ago and I was drunk and Guns 'n' Roses was playing the entire time. I'm trying to forget that night ever happened. And I choose to do that by putting photos of the event on the Web, where they will be viewable to the public at large FOREVER.

The sad thing about this next picture is it came from the middle of my role of film, which means the night wasn't even close to over when Liana did this to herself.

Oh, we also bought Life at Target, but we were all so far gone by then that nobody remembers anything after the raucous debate over lesbianism and how many pink pegs can fit in one plastic red station wagon.

But if this picture means anything, it looks like we were playing strip-Life. No wonder I don't remember anything. Hot damn, is Kelly hot in black lace.

Wanna talk to a Fatty? Email fatty@fattyspage.com.

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