Traits of an Abusive Person

abuses a child through deliberate neglect	(1) argues in front of a child	(1) uses a child as a human shield	throws things at a child
makes false child abuse charges	makes false partner abuse charges	falsely applies for a restraining order	forges or alters papers to deny another of property
feigns helplessness or illnesses	(2) false or self-inflicted injuries	(2) unsuccessful suicide attempts	(2) threatens suicide
engages in unlawful activity	(3) bruises easily	(4) abuses blood thinners	uses illegal substances
flirts seductively with others in public	adulterous or makes false accusations of adultery	sexual battery (groin attacks etc)	initiates unwanted sexual advances
constant nagging or yammering	repeated questioning	exaggerated sense of entitlement	exaggerated sense of self-importance
isolates you from family and friends	makes disparaging remarks about you	disparages your relatives	disparages your friends
tries to ruin your employment	prevents you from sleeping	causes you to be chronically late	repetitively calls you at your place of work
violates your privacy and meddles in your private matters	intercepts, steals, or opens your mail	withholds or hides your possessions or medications	steals or destroys your possessions
locks you out of your home	tracks your mileage, time, and money	steals from your private money and accounts	forges your signature
contrasting public and private behavior	kills or tortures pets	treats you as a slave	denies their own abusive behavior
coercion by threats or action	threatens to leave or orders you to leave	uses others to assault or batter you	threatens to call police if you do not obey
repeated attacks on your sense of worth	chronic rage or anger	stalking	pouts and sulks often and for long intervals with they don't get their way.
They are accomplished actors and actresses	seeks to control everything and everyone	engages in melodramatic behavior	chronic lying and guile
erratic mood swings	chronic binges on food	uses several names, ages, or birthdays	frequent and inappropriate displays of anger
causes physical and emotional battery	causes public humiliation	often threatens to get their own way	blames you for their behavior
makes public scenes	embarrassing public behavior	selfish and arrogant	(5) ascribes their own conduct, ideas and impulses to you
The "If I can't have you, no one will mentality."	treats others with contempt	hostility while in any form of transportation	lacks genuine remorse

1. The cardinal rule in adult relationships is: never argue in the presence of children. Abusive individuals are typically cowards who often initiate arguments and violence while using a child as a human shield.

Special Note: A child is a precious gift of life and this is why children deserve our abounding love and protection. By their inexperience, children are inquisitive and do make mistakes. This is a part of their maturation.

Parents should present a united presence to their children. So, parents should agree, in advance, on matters involving their child's education and discipline. I do not believe that corporeal punishment, spanking, is humane or effective, it is child abuse. Locking a child in a room or closet is also child abuse. Removing privileges is effective when a parent explains the reason for this action to the child.

2. Report this immediately to mental health agencies and local officials. These behaviors may be a sign of a very serious mental or personality disorder. False or self-inflicted injuries are a common ploy in domestic violence and divorce proceedings.

3. Some persons bruise or bleed more easily than others. The cause of this phenomenon involves, genetics, gender, body build, age, and occupation. A classic hereditary condition is hemophilia that mostly affects males where the slightest bump or cut can lead to massive bruising or bleeding. Frail and older persons may exhibit this observable feature due to the thinness of their skin. There are other disorders that cause excessive bruising or bleeding. This why that those who exhibit these symptoms should see a physician.

4. Most pharmaceutical companies warn consumers about the possible side effects arising from the use of their product alone or in combination with other products. Abuse of analgesics and anti-inflammatories (aspirin, ibuprofen, acetaminophen), gastric acid reducers (cimetidine, ranitidine), ethanol, heroin, cocaine, and anticoagulants (coumadin, warfarin) can be the true cause of bruising or bleeding, especially in the context of domestic violence or divorce.

5. Projection is a well established psychological phenomena. It is the unconscious act of ascribing one's own acts, ideas, or impulses to others especially when they are undesirable or cause anxiety. Seek help when your partner exhibits this trait. The willful act of ascribing one's own behavior, ideas, or impulses to the other partner is a form of abuse and it is not projection.