INTERCOM NCC 74657
The Official Communique of the USS Ronald E. McNair
Boston, Massachusetts

June 15, 1998 ---------- Vol. 5 No. 4 ---------- Star Date: 35959.1

CONTENTS

Regular ColumnsFeatured Stories
Editor's Note
Captain's Log
Chief Medical Officer's Log
Treasurer's Report
The USS McNair's Mission
McNair Ready Room
TV Schedule
Code 47 via Subspace Radio
Comm Channel News 		So You Wanna Be A Parent, Eh?
From Data's Humor Chip
NASA Notes
Fun On The Internet
Y? A Web Site on People's Differences
Boldly Making Noise
The Densa Test
The Triangle Fire
Kidbits

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EDITOR'S NOTE

Hi! I am pleased to present another issue. I hope that you enjoy it. The June, 1998 issue contains a wide variety of content. I wanted to start this issue with the most important news so that you don't miss it. Congratulations are in order for three USS McNair crew members.

First, On April 25, 1998 Sabrina became an ordained Deacon in the African Methodist Episcopal Church. Reverand Johnson is scheduled to make her first sermon on Sunday June 28th at the 8 AM service at St. Paul's AME Church in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Second, Val "The Klingon" has finished her first set of academic studies and degree towards her new career as a teacher, affiliated with the University of Massachusetts. Third, one of our newest members, Amy, just got engaged to be married.

So, stop what you're doing; get on your knees; turn toward the East; bow and pay homage; send congratulations to these three outstanding women! They've earned it.

Now, on to all things related to TREK, sci-fi, and space science.

Another season of excellent episodes and plots has come and gone with DS9 and Voyager. Sadly, if all rumors and reports are accurate, Terry Farrell will not return for DS9's seventh season. What a shame! What a shame! The Worf - Jadzia Dax marriage had all the makings of something very special. Hey, it already was something special! We now get to watch the writers scamble and try to craft something interesting that we fans all know is a second choice.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the galaxy our heroes in the star-buggy Voyager continue on their TREK, boldly in search of well crafted plots and story lines. The newness of Seven of Nine has now worn off and we are left to ponder: so what? Has anything really changed with Voyager? Have any of the characters GROWN UP in three-plus years?

Janeway lost her "bun-of-steel" and has yet to find her animal guide. She's just as technology focused as ever, and spiritually devoid. Seven, acting more like Seventeen (Rick James, please sing about this true Super Freak!) of Nineteen, added heels to her "corset-of-steel" as she openly defied Janeway. Harry Kim is perhaps a little more independent. Paris and Torres openly have the hots for each other, but have they learned anything? Neelix's cooking is still horrific after three years. Tuvok is fully telepathic, and the Doctor is somewhat less insufferable. Chakotay - and I had such high hopes for him - is still holding the torch for Janeway. You'd think his animal guide surely would have helped him "see the light" by now. With a neat plot-device, the "Year of Hell" turned out to be the "That Was The Year That Wasn't." The show's writing quality has sadly settled back to "That Was the Quality That Wasn't."

Contrast this with DS9. Worf and Jadzia married in grand style. Sisko accepted his role as Emissary, found the lost city of Valhalla, and welcomed back Casidy with open arms. Nog is in Starfleet Academy. Jake is a successful writer/reporter with the Federation News Service. Odo and Kyra fell in love with each other. Julian was exposed as the genetic mutant that he is. Quark single-handedly killed two Jem'Hadar soldiers, and learned to walk like a woman. And, the war with the Dominion still isn't over. Gee, even Rom married to Leeta. Talk about lots of significant changes! This was stuff to get excited about!

So, what's changed in Voyager? Have the characters really grown? Heck, have the show's writers grown in their ability to consistently produce better scripts?

In two words: not much.

Consider this example about Voyager. The writers took a really good script for the episode "Living Witness" and couldn't tie up all the loose ends. If you've seen the episode, it is a good thought starter about the futility of revisionist history; that almost always the "victor" can't write a truly objective account of history. The story detail that the writers failed to tie up neatly? The use of the backup EMH program as the plot device. In earlier episodes, the ship didn't have the computer resources to store a backup copy of the Medical EMH program. What changed guys?

Maybe I'm tired of these "reset button" episodes where at the end of the episode something happens so that the episode never really happened in the timeline that continues. The two-part episode "Year of Hell" contained a similar plot device. The major characters never really debate and explore the issue presented. This highlights my irritation with Voyager: the series always manages to find a way to shoot itself in the proverbial foot; even with reasonably well written scripts.

A couple months ago there were rumors about bringing Voyager back to the Alpha quadrant with a new ship once the DS9 series ends. That, my friends, would be a mistake. Better to end the suffering that is Voyager, and find a way to continue the success that is DS9. I'd take the DS9 crew with a funky, Cardy space station any day over the Voyager crew with the Prometheus. One dazzling ship doesn't make a fleet. One sunny day doesn't make a summer. Good writing does.

As some wise soul recently coined the phrase, "Plot does matter."

Story arcs matter, too. Perhaps now is the time for an all out assault; a larger, better organized fan letter writing campaign to extend DS9. It helped Classic Trek and it can help DS9.

And, if this is your first visit to the USS McNair's web site, I'd like to welcome you. Read through this issue of INTERCOM. Browse awhile. Boldly explore some of the back issues available in the USS McNair web site. I think you'll find the content engaging with an interesting point of view.

George Jenkins
First Officer

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THE TRIANGLE FIRE

The TREK television have explored genetics in many episodes. But, what's happening today? The following arrived items recently via e-mail. You may find these new web sites of interest:

The Department of Labor and the Martin P. Catherwood Library at Cornell's School of Industrial & Labor Relations present for free public access the following report:

Genetic Information and the Workplace
http://www.ilr.cornell.edu/library/e_archive/genetics/

Recent advances in genetic research have made it possible to identify the genetic basis for human diseases, opening the door to individualized prevention strategies and early detection and treatment. These advances hold much promise for improving health. However, genetic information can also be used unfairly to discriminate against or stigmatize individuals on the job. For example, people may be denied jobs or benefits because they possess particular genetic traits--even if that trait has no bearing on their ability to do the job. In addition, since some genetic traits are found more frequently in specific racial or ethnic groups, such discrimination could disproportionately affect these groups. This report demonstrates why American workers deserve federal legislation to protect them from genetic discrimination in the workplace.

Office of Public Affairs - U.S. Dept. of Labor
Press Release: Vice President Gore Calls for Legislation to Ban Genetic Discrimination [01/20/98]
http://www.dol.gov/dol/opa/public/media/press/opa/opa98021.htm

The availability of this report can be relied upon at the Electronic Archive of the Martin P. Catherwood Library as a result of a partnership with the Department of Labor. The Department of Labor produces the report and makes it available for short-term access, while the Catherwood Library further disseminates and advertises the report and makes it available for permanent access.

Date: Thu, 4 Jun 1998 16:27:36
From: Stuart Basefsky
Subject: THE TRIANGLE FIRE

THE TRIANGLE FIRE -- learning exhibit, photos, documents,
and archives: a muli-media, historical web page

From the Kheel Center for Labor-Management Documentation & Archives, Martin P. Catherwood Library, Cornell University

The fire at the Triangle Shirt Waist Factory in New York City took place on March 25, 1911. One hundred and forty-six workers, mostly young women, died as a result of being locked in this garment sweatshop by their bosses. A tragedy of historic and horrific proportion, the suffering caused by the fire and the spectacle of the shop owners getting away without criminal penalties shocked the Nation. Among the results of the fire was greatly strengthened union organizing activities on the part of the International Ladies' Garment Workers' Union (ILGWU), the establishment of a Factory Investigation Commission by the State of New York which lead to important sweatshop reforms, and the launching of the career of Francis Perkins, a social worker who would eventually become the first woman cabinet member when she was appointed secretary of Labor by Frankin Delano Roosevelt.

In response to a continuing demand for information on this subject from around the nation and from all manner of researchers -- school children to academic scholars -- the Kheel Center, where the ILGWU records are housed, has produced a multi-media historical web page to assist students, particularly grade and high school students, in writing term papers. An ancillary but important function of the page is to attract youngsters to the ILR School web page. I hope you will agree that reference archivist, Hope Nisly, of the Kheel Center of the Catherwood Library who wrote the introduction, edited the primary source documents on the site, and compiled the bibliography, Paulette Manos, Center Photo Curator who selected the images and David Demello, of the Library's Computer staff, who served as the page designer, did a superb job. Please take a look at the site at http://www.ilr.cornell.edu/trianglefire/ and let us know what you think.

If we can find enough copyright-free materials, it is our hope that at least one of the three planned exhibits in the Kheel Center each year will be a virtual one that can be mounted on the Web.

Richard Strassberg
Kheel Director
Kheel Center for Labor-Management Documentation & Archives
Martin P. Catherwood Library, Cornell University
Ives Hall
Ithaca, NY 14853-3901
Telephone: 607-255-3183. Fax: 607-255-9641

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McNAIR'S MISSION

INTERCOM is published quarterly. Copyright © 1998, USS Ronald E. McNair. All rights reserved. Questions, comments, permission requests, and submissions should be sent to the INTERCOM Editor, USS Ronald E. McNair, P.O. Box 255159, Boston, Mass. 02125 - 5159.

INTERCOM is free for USS Ronald E. McNair crew members, and single courtesy copies to region ships offering a newsletter exchange. For others, an annual subscription (4 issues) is available. Enclose a check or money order for $5.00, payable to the USS Ronald E. McNair, and send it to: INTERCOM, USS Ronald E. McNair, P.O. Box 255159, Boston, Mass. 02125 - 5159.

If you decide to link to this web site, to an INTERCOM newsletter issue, or to an article within an issue, please register with the USS McNair Guest-book. Otherwise, the INTERCOM Editor will not be able to notify you when links or pages change.

Star Trek: Voyager is a Trademark of Paramount Pictures. Star Trek, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, and Star Trek: The Next Generation are Registered Trademarks of Paramount Pictures. This publication in no way intends to infringe upon any copyrights, trademarks, or licenses held by Paramount Pictures or by Viacom.

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CAPTAIN'S LOG

Stardate: 35956.8
Captain Kevin Johnson reporting

June 12, 1998

Since the last newsletter issue, the activities of the USS McNair as a group have been low, but individually we have all been very busy.

The April meeting was not held on the second Sunday since it was the Easter holiday. Instead, the meeting was held during a B5 video marathon. The May meeting was held on Mothers day. We had one movie night to see the film "Lost in Space," and one convention away mission to see Avery Brooks. He was not able to appear at the Boston Creation convention, but Marina Sirtis appeared instead.

The last few months has been off, but things never stay the same. We have several new members: one has already hosted a meeting and the others will have their first official meeting in June. There are newsletter exchanges in the works, and our Web page is better then ever.

Until next time.

Captain Kevin D. Johnson
Commanding Officer
USS Ronald E. McNair

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TV SCHEDULE

Here's the latest, based upon reliable web sites.

STAR TREK: Deep Space Nine - 6th Season (Unofficial)
#Date#TitleStar Date
1259/27/97525A Time to StandNG
12610/04/97527Rocks and ShoalsNG
12710/11/97526Sons and DaughtersNG
12810/18/97528Behind the Lines51145.3
12910/25/97529Favor the Bold (Part 1)NG
13011/01/97530The Sacrifice of Angels (Part 2)NG
13111/08/97531You Are Cordially Invited...51247.5
13211/15/97532ResurrectionNG
13311/22/97533Statistical ProbabilitiesNG
11/29/97RerunA Simple InvestigationNG
12/06/97RerunFerengi Love SongsNG
12/13/97RerunEmpok NorNG
12512/20/97RerunA Time to StandNG
13412/27/97534The Magnificent FerengiNG
13501/03/98535WaltzNG
01/10/98RerunRocks and ShoalsNG
01/17/98RerunSons and DaughtersNG
01/24/98RerunBehind the Lines51145.3
13601/31/98536Who Mourns for Morn?NG
13702/07/98538Far Beyond the StarsNG
13802/14/98537One Little ShipNG
13902/21/98539Honor Among ThievesNG
14003/07/98540Changes of HeartNG
14103/28/98541Wrongs Darker Than Death or NightNG
14204/11/98542InquisitionNG
14304/18/98543In The Pale MoonlightNG
14404/18/98544His WayNG
14504/25/98545The ReckoningNG
14605/02/98546ValiantNG
14705/09/98547Profit And LaceNG
14805/16/98548Time's OrphanNG
14906/06/98549The Sound of Her VoiceNG
15006/13/98550Tears of the Prophets (Season Finale)NG

STAR TREK: VOYAGER - 4th Season (Unofficial):
#DateEpisode #Prod#TitleStar Date
689/03/97STV401[169]Scorpio n, Part II51003.7
699/10/97STV402[170]The GiftNG
709/17/97STV403[172]Day Of HonorNG
719/24/97STV404[171]Nemesis 51082.4
7210/01/97STV405[173]Revuls ionNG
7310/08/97STV406[174]The RavenNG
7410/29/97STV407[175]Scienti fic Method51244.3
7511/05/97STV408[176]The Year of Hell (Part 1)51268.4
7611/12/97STV409[177]The Year of Hell (Part 2)51425.4
7711/19/97STV410[178]Rando m Thoughts51367.2
7811/26/97STV411[179]Concer ning Flight51386.4
7912/17/97STV412[180]Mortal Coil51449.2
701/07/98Rerun[172]Day Of HonorNG
801/14/98STV413[182]Waking Moments51471.3
811/21/98STV414[181]Messag e in a BottleNG
822/11/98STV415[183]Hunters 51501.4
832/18/98STV416[184]Prey51652.3
842/25/98STV417[185]Retrosp ectNG
853/04/98STV418[186]The Killing GameNG
863/04/98STV419[187]The Killing Game, Part II51715.2
874/08/98STV420[188]Vis-a-V is51762.4
884/15/98STV421[189]The Omega Directive15871.2
894/22/98STV422[190]Unforge ttableNG
904/29/98STV423[191]Living WitnessNG
915/06/98STV424[192]Demon NG
925/13/98STV425[193]OneNG
935/20/98STV426[194]Hope And Fear51978.2

BABYLON 5 - 5th Season: "The Wheel of Fire"
Air DateEpisode#Production#Title
98/01/04--TNT MoW2Babylon 5: In the Beginning
98/01/04----The Gathering
98/01/2189502No Compromises
98/01/2890503The Very Long Night of Londo Mollari
98/02/0491504The Paragon of Animals
98/02/1192505A View from the Gallery
98/02/1893506Learning Curve
98/02/2594507Strange Relations
98/03/0495508Secrets of the Soul
98/03/1196511Day of the Dead
98/03/1897509In the Kingdom of the Blind
98/03/2598510Cat and Mouse
98/04/0199512Phoenix Rising
98/04/08100513The Ragged Edge
98/04/15101514The Corps is Mother, The Corps is Father
98/05/27102515Meditations on the Abyss
98/06/03103516Darkness Ascending
98/06/10104517And All My Dreams, Torn Asunder
98/06/17105518Movements of Fire and Shadow
98/07/01--502RNo Compromises
98/07/08--503RThe Very Long Night of Londo Mollari
98/07/15--504RThe Paragon of Animals
98/07/19----Thirdspace (TV Movie)
98/07/22--505RA View from the Gallery
98/07/29--506RLearning Curve
98/08/05--507RStrange Relations
98/08/12--508RSecrets of the Soul
98/08/19--511RDay of the Dead
98/08/26--509RIn the Kingdom of the Blind
98/10/28106519The Fall of Centauri Prime
98/11/04107522Wheel of Fire
98/11/08----The River of Souls (TV Movie)
98/11/11108520Objects in Motion
98/11/18109521Objects at Rest
98/11/25110522aSleeping in Light

Notes: Obviously, (R) indicates a previously aired episode, and NG indicates a star date not supplied during the episode. The air date is the date of the first uplink to affiliates. Actual air time will differ.

Sources: Vidiot: DS9 | Vidiot: Voyager | The Lurker's Guide to Babylon 5
Credit: Thanks to Ken for The B5 data!

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CODE 47 VIA SUBSPACE RADIO

By George Jenkins, XO
Star Date: 35954.6

A few news reports you may not have seen:

Hollywood action film star Arnold Schwarzenegger will appear briefly in the next "Star Trek" motion picture. Schwarzenegger has appeared in several action films, including "Terminator II: Judgement Day" and "True Lies." The actor, who is a TREK fan, agreed to make a brief appearance in the ninth Trek movie in a small role for minimum pay. [March 8, 1998. The Sunday Mail.]

Denis Bourguigon, a California based dentist, has remodeled his surgery room into a replica of the bridge of Starship Enterprise. Bourguigon's Starfleet Dental Clinic is featured in a new film, Trekkies, about fans of the television series. [May 3, 1998. The Sunday Mail}

This Spring, the U.S Postal Service ran a program, "Celebrate the Century," for customers to cast their votes for their favorite 1960's topics. Top picks were mostly music and sports. Voters decided that two of the stamps would commemorate the Beatles and the Motown Sound; and three other stamps would honor the Super Bowl, the Green Bay Packers and Roger Maris' baseball home run record. Also included in the top 15 is a stamp honoring the original television series "Star Trek." Two other stamps include computer chips and lasers. [June 6, 1998. The Sacramento Bee]

If these two firms have their way, the hypo-spray medical syringes featured on the "Star Trek" television shows will become reality. PowderJect Pharmaceuticals and Glaxo Wellcome have signed an agreement in Europe to develop and market a system for injecting medications through the skin, using a Mach 3 blast of helium, similar to the device we've all seen on television. The system uses helium to painlessly deliver medicines in dry form. The new system would also eliminate the problems and infection risks with traditinal needle syringes. The system includes control mechanisms to adjust the speed and depth the particles penetrate into the skin. Gordon Saul, PowderJect's Vice President of business development, said that PowderJect has developed a variant of its vaccine delivery system that can be inserted into the alimentary canal, for instance, and used to deliver vaccines or other medication to cancerous tissue. The agreement gives Glaxo exclusive worldwide rights to development, license and options to commercialize a vaccine for Hepatitis B that is currently in Phase I trials being conducted by PowderJect. Glaxo also has the option to develop a Hepatitis B DNA vaccine, a HIV therapeutic DNA vaccine, two other DNA vaccines for unnamed infectious diseases, a cancer DNA vaccine using two as yet unnamed antigens and four additional DNA products to be selected by Glaxo. PowderJect wil receive a $ 4 million license fee from Glaxo for the prophylactic Hepatitis B DNA vaccine and option fees for the other DNA vaccine developments; plus a $ 20 million equity investment to buy nearly five million PowderJect shares. [March 16, 1998. Biotechnology Newswatch.]

In this article the author, Brad Newsham, reviews the new book, "How Star Trek Conquered Planet Earth" by Jeff Greenwald. Oakland based writer Jeff Greenwald analyzes the cultural phenomenon which is syndicated in 108 countries. "Star Trek" movies have grossed about one billion dollars, while 63 million books are in print in 15 languages. Writes Newsham, "Even readers who have never seen a single "Star Trek" episode will find "Future Perfect" engrossing. Greenwald takes us to a secret Trekker orgy deep in the forests of Germany, and to a Hollywood party..." with Ethan Hawke and Sarah Jessica Parker. "In India we sit in on Greenwald's biggest score, a private interview with the Dalai Lama, who says he watched the original "Star Trek" series on Indian television." In New York, Greenwald interviews Kurt Vonnegut Jr., who explains the show's popularity this way, "Look. These things happen because there's a terrific hunger for family. It explains the Deadheads, too. But it's family, family, family. Charles Manson was able to pick up quite attractive, reasonably intelligent young women on the roadside because they were ravenous for family." [May 29, 1998. The San Francisco Chronicle.]

In an interview, Wallace Shawn (Grand Nagus, a Ferengi alien on DS9) talks about his theatre plans. Shawn, a an actor and writer, is about to have his play, The Designated Mourner, adapted to the screen for its first run at London's National Film Theatre in early May. According to Shawn, "For me, the issue is really: does one have the inspiration or ability to write something worthwhile? If I could write a few more things that were worthwhile, that would be my dream. But I don't have any reason to believe that I have that ability." About his television role and TREK, "I like to assert my rule, but I don't think I could stand to do it more often. It's a tremendous ordeal. I don't think it's healthy to be under all that make-up." [May 1, 1998. The Independent.]

Eat well and prosper. Star Trek(TM) breakfast cereal is about to beam into a supermarket or kitchen table near you. Viacom Consumer Products, the licensing division of Paramount Pictures, has entered into an agreement with Tribal Dreams, a division of Interplay Productions, and the Qualker Oats Company for Quaker Oh!s(R) cereal to issue a limited edition box that will feature state-of-the-art graphics and screen shots from Tribal Dreams' upcoming game, Star Trek(TM): Secret of Vulcan Fury. The box will also include a sweepstakes for participants to win prizes, including a copy of the new game, a trip for two to Hollywood to visit the filme set at Paramount Studios, or a Gateway 2000 Pentium personal computer. The cereal box will also include a $10 Rebate offer good for Interplay's Star Trek(TM) personal computer titles Star Fleet Academy(TM) or Star Trek(TM): Secret of Vulcan Fury. Industry and TREK experts say that this is the first cereal promotion of its kind. "We are also giving our consumers an extraordinary value," Chibe said. "The combination of a limited edition collectible box, a fun instant win sweepstakes, a rebate offer, along with a great tasting cereal delivers on Quaker's commitment of giving consumers value for their grocery dollar." The two-month promotion i scheduled to begin in April 1998. Interplay's new graphic adventure game is expected to debut in the Fall of 1998, with several news episodes featuring the original TEK crew members. [April 22, 1998. PR Newswire.]

Noah and Josh Millrod, ages 9 and 14, interviewed Nana Visitor, who portrays the character Major Kira in the DS9 television series. Visitor's favorite DS9 episode was "The Duet" since it dealt with racism and the hostiliy between Bajorans and Cardassians. Visitor would prefer to play a Q alien, if she wasn't playing the Major Kira character. Does the Major Kira action figure look like the actress? Definitely not, according to Visitor. Kira's best moment in the series was when she decided not to murder her mother, who had an affair with a Cardassian military commander. [April 13, 1998. Newsday.]

As the worm turns. Terry Farrell will not return this Fall to the DS9 television series for its final season as the character Jadzia Dax. The "worm" is the cast's nickname for the 300-year-old slug-like symbiont that lives inside Jadzia Dax. Farrell is the only cast member not to resign for another season, according to Nana Visitor at the I-Con 17 science-fiction show in Stony Brook, New York. Where will the worm go? What will happen to the marriage with Worf? Visitor speculated that the worm will return in a new host. Naturally, Worf will find himself still married to the worm, but also married to a new host. Visitor added, " 'Deep Space 9' remains the darkest 'Star Trek,' "where bittersweet endings make for better drama. [March 30, 1998. Newsday.]

Starting Wednesday April 1, 1998, AT&T began selling a prepaid telephone card with images of the television show's characters. The images are from all four television series. One phone card contains 15 minutes of long-distance calling services and images of characters from the original television series. Another card contains 100 minutes of calling services and images from TNG television series. DS9 characters are featured on a card with 30 minutes of calling services. Prices for the new AT&T cards start at 33 cents per minute. The 100-minute cards sell for 30 cents per minute. To order a phone card, call 1-800-467-1756 Ext. 52740 or visit the Web site. [March 30, 1998. The Orlando Sentinel.]

Now, you can add the latest security feature to your home or office computer: voice recognition and face recognition. "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Voice Print With Face Recognition," is a serious security program that restricts unauthorized people from using your computer, and helps limit access to private data files or to your Internet account. You no longer need to remember and type passwords. Instead, you simply speak a few words into the computer microphone and the program verifies whether or not it is your voice. Of course, unauthorized entrants are greated with the "Red Alert" image and sounds. And, the computer's voice is that of Majel Barrett Roddenberry, the widow of "Star Trek" creator Gene Roddenberry. She's also the computer voice on the DS9 and Voyager television series. Voice Print is available from software dealers. QVoice's Web site is http://www.cybertown.com/qvoice.html. [March 24, 1998. The San Diego Union-Tribune.]

Even though Robert Thompson gets strange looks from people on the street, he is happy. This blind man can again see thanks to a new high tech device similar to the eye-piece worn by the TNG character Geordi La Forge. Dr Thompson is registered blind, and only sees a grey blur when he looks straight ahead. The device, called V-Max, enhances and enlarges the images giving him back his sight, which has been deteriorating for the last five years. He is the first person in Britain to get the device, which is built in America for visually impaired adults and children. Dr Thompson, a member of the national committee of the Macular Disease Society, estimates that about one in five people with between two and 20 per cent of normal vision could benefit from V-Max, which was developed by NASA as an image intensification system for cameras to take pictures of Earth from satellites. The 23 ounce V-Max contains a miniature color camera, the size of a drink carton, which produces an image on a screen the equivalent of looking at a 60in TV screen 4ft away. For more information about V-Max write to Enhanced Vision Systems, 2134 Main Street, Suite 187, Huntington Beach, California 92648. [March 8, 1998. The Sunday Mirror.]

If Patrick Stewart has his way, millions of fans will join him on his new enterprise. A group of students gathered recently at the headquarters of Amnesty International U.S.A., in Washington, D.C., to receive the Patrick Stewart Human Rights Scholarship, which provides a cash stipend (from $ 50 to $ 1,500) for spending a summer working on a human rights project. Stewart established the fund in 1996 in conjunction with Amnesty, to help students develop an understanding of other cultures. Whenever the 58 year old actor appears at a science fiction convention, he routinely requests that the local Amnesty chapter be able to set up a table "in a prominent place" to raise awareness about human rights issues worldwide. Stewart adds, "The world is shrinking, and we must become more interdependent for the future well-being of this planet. No longer can any nation isolate itself from the rest of the world." For more information or to make a contribution, write to: The Patrick Stewart Human Rights Scholarship, 1118 22nd St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20037. [March, 1998. In Style.]

He never thought it would last this long. "The thing is that when we all started, we all thought, 'Oh, a couple of years. Make a couple of bucks,' " Dorn said recently. "At last count, I've done 266 (episodes) and three movies," Dorn added. Trivia experts say that Majel Barrett-Roddenberry has done more episodes when you count her voice-overs as the computer voice in the TNG, DS9, and Voyager series. She has acted in far fewer episodes as Number One, Nurse Chapel, and Lwaxana Troi. Dorn is signed to appear in the next "Star Trek" film. Will it end soon? Dorn knows it will at some pont. The actor added, "Next year, Worf should be in a home or something." Regarding the relationship between Worf and Troi that was eclipsed by Worf's marriage to Jadzia Dax, Marina Sirtis (who portrays Deanna Troi) said, "You know what? She's (Jadzia) welcome to him. I think they make a perfect couple. I was just glad to be rid of him, to be honest." [February 13, 1998. The Deseret News.]

You can now get your Klingon Raktajino or Enterprise java from from Henderson, Nevada-based Starbase-1 Coffee Company, Ltd. The products come in 12 ounce packages with a suggested retail price of $15.95. Three gift packs are also available, in both 12 ounce and 1.45 ounce sizes. The products by TV series:

  1. TOS: Starship Enterprise Standard Issue (Mocha Java), Federation Supremo (Columbian Supremo), Vulcan Decaffeinated (Decaf Sumatra Mandheling) and Shore Leave (Kona Blend).
  2. TNG: Galaxy Class Choice Roast, a special blend of American and French roasted coffees, Risa Tropical Roast (Macadamia Nut), Counselor Troi's Mocha Supreme (Double Chocolate Fudge) and All Good Things Blend (Pralines & Creme).
  3. DS9: Deep Space Nine Station Select (Swiss Chocolate Almond)
  4. Voyager: U.S.S. Voyager Choice Roast (Toasted Chestnut)
Where's your web site, Starbase-1 Coffee Company? We couldn't find it. [May 25, 1998. Product Alert. Market Intelligence Service, Ltd.]

Interested in reading more? Visit STasis: Your Guide To The Scholarly Literature of Trek.

© 1998 USS Ronald E. McNair. Reprinted with permission. All rights reserved. This article may be linked to provided it is presented in its entirety with this copyright message appended.

Parent: What's this in the trash?
Teenager: The "Star Trek: First Contact" movie CD I rented last night.
Parent: What! You threw it out after watching it once?
Teenager: Chill. That's a disposable video disk. By the way, I need $10.

As reported on June 8, 1998 in USA Today, the electronics chain Circuit City is test marketing Divx, movie video disks that you buy for $4.49 each, view once, and then throw away. Video retailers see this alternative as a way to maintain sufficient stock on multiple copies of very popular or high-demand flicks.

Besides being another method to separate you from your cash, I see this as a land-fill nightmare, if a recycling option isn't in place when the video disks go on sale. According to a Circuit City spokesperson, "We are presenting this to the consumer as a better way to rent a video product."

I've yet to see a Circuit City store accept recycled goods.

The disks will be sold in Richmond, Va. and San Francisco until the fall, when Circuit City starts its nationwide sales. Digital video disks, or DVDs, are high-capacity storage devices that look like regular CDs, but hold about seven times more data. The picture quality is reportedly better, too. Ordinarily, DVDs sell for $25 to $30, and buyers can play them as often as desired. However, once a disk is inserted into a Divx player, it will only work for 48 hours.

To view the film again after the 48 hours have expired, you can pay another $3.25 by punching a code on the player's remote control. To monitor your use, Divx players will be connected by phone line to a central billing computer. Or, you can pay an additional $10 to $20 to buy the CD so you can permanently unscramble the disk and watch your favorite movie as many times as you want.

Sounds like "revenue slop" to me. What's that? The companies are hoping that you and I will spend more cash for each VIEWING by being lazy about our decision process. That is, the companies are betting that you and I are sloppy; that they'll make more revenues because we won't take the time to carefully plan who and how many times you, your family, or roommates will actually watch the video.

Oh, say you want to bring that Divx disk you just bought to your friend's house and watch it on their Divx player. That will cost you another $3.25.

Zenith plans to launch later this month a Divx player priced at $499. That's a lot more than I paid for my last VCR - more than double. And yes, your current CD/Laser Disk player can't play Divx disks. Now you know Circuit City's interest in all of this.

And, Divx isn't for viewing patterns in the children's video market. My 12 year old son bought the "Jurassic Park" video and has probably watched it at least 25 times. There's no way any sane parent would use Divx for children's videos. Buying is always more cost effective.

Thanks to Jocelyn for providing the following Babylon 5 rumors and news:

The buzz on the web is that Claudia Christian and JMS may have cooled off enough to reconcile somewhat. The rumor is that she may appear in another TNT movie, possibly River of Souls. Repeat: this is a rumor and it is unconfirmed. Peter David will be writing the novelization of Thirdspace and Yvonne Navarro will be doing the novelization of The River of Souls. John Gregory Keyes will be writing the first B5 Trilogy of novels around the formation of Psi Corps. Bruce Boxleitner and Jerry Doyle recently got to take a ride in F-16s while at Edwards Air Force Base Flight Test Center. They were there for the Annual Awards Banquet where they were guest speakers. (See! If you had an Internet connection, then you'd be able to see these images.)

TV Guide Online has a feature on departing shows and it includes Babylon 5. You can also vote for the show you'll miss the most. Notice the show that's in the #1 spot. Also visit the Babylon 5 Gallery Feature. The 2nd TNT movie, Thirdspace, will air on July 18th on TNT at 8:00 PM. This movie will feature Claudia Christian in one of her last roles on-screen as Ivanova. Shari Belafonte also guest stars in the movie. A synopsis of the episode is available at TNT's website. If you don't want to subscribe to Columbia House to purchase Babylon 5 Videos, they'll be available soon direct from The Official Babylon 5 Fan Club. The club is the first outlet to offer these videos. In late August the videos should reach the stores. On the Internet try http://www.thestation.com.

The X-Files: A reminder, the Gillian Anderson Web Site is promoting the Neurofibromatosis Fund-Raiser Auction. This is a charity very close to Gillian as her younger brother, Aaron, suffers from this disorder. The web site features some autographed Golden Globe items donated by Gillian.

Attention Sliders Fans - the new series, with new episodes, begins on the Sci-Fi Channel this June.

Thanks to Joellyn for providing such an informative e-mail newsletter. Some items excerpted from her latest newsletter issue:

From: Joellyn Crowley
To: [mailing list suppressed] (@b5zko)
Subject: Late babblings...sorry gang
Date: Mon, Jun 8, 1998, 4:11 PM

Hi Everyone!

For you X-Files fans I have a listing of all X-Files Movie related events I can find. I've gathered this info from many sources so you may need to check your local listings.

RebelCon Attendees (and potential attendees): Here is a sample of some items coming to the auctions this year - Millennium Poster from theatrical preview; set of 3 X-Files Movie Posters (style A-C); autographed photo of Mira Furlan donated by her fan club; autographed photo of Julie Caitlin Brown donated by her fan club; Mulder movie trading card autographed by David Duchovny donated by Chris Carter's office; autographed photo of Chase Masterson donated by me (I got it from the Pittsburgh Comicon directly from her); set of 12 TNT post cards (from 1998). If you would like to donate an item for the auction (doesn't have to be autographed), please let me know. You can specify if you want it only for the Charity or the Seed Auction. More items can be found at http://www.rebelcon.net.

Babblings: (Babylon 5 bits)

Rummaging through the Files: (X-Files bits)

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CHIEF MEDICAL OFFICER'S LOG

The CMO position is currently vacant. We are currently accepting inquiries and nominations. Please send any correspondence to the Captain or the First Officer.

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TREASURER'S REPORT

Show me the money! Well, we would like to. The Treasurer's report for the USS Ronald E. McNair is available to all members. Ask the Captain for a copy.

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THE DENSA TEST

How smart are you? Take this test and see what you score (be Honest)! This is also a chance to redeem yourself if you avoided the TREK quiz in the last issue. To determine your score, use the following guide:

  1. Do they have a 4th of July in England? Yes or no.
  2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
  3. Some months have 31 days; how many have 28?
  4. How many outs are there in an inning?
  5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister? Yes or no.
  6. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
  7. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?
  8. A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half hour. How many minutes would the pills last?
  9. A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left?
  10. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark?
  11. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5' 10" tall. What does he weigh?
  12. How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen?

The Densa Test: answers

  1. Is there a fourth of July in England? Yes, it comes after the third of July!
  2. How many birthdays does the average man have? Just one!
  3. Some months have 31 days; how many have 28? All of them!
  4. How many outs are there in an inning? 6, three per side!
  5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister? No - because he is dead!
  6. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer? 70, 30 divided by 2 equals 15, 30 divided by 1/2 equals 60!
  7. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have? 2, you took them, remember?
  8. A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half hour. How many minutes would the pills last? 60 minutes, start with the 1st pill, 30 minutes later take the 2nd, then 30 minutes for the 3rd.
  9. A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left? 9, if 8 out of 17 die, all but 9 die, eh?
  10. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark? None, Moses didn't have an ark, Noah did!
  11. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5' 10" tall. What does he weigh? Meat, a butcher weighs meat!
  12. How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen? 12, there are 12 2cent stamps in a dozen!
ADD YOUR SCORE

Correct Answers Rating
12 Genius
10-11 Above Normal
7-9 Normal
4-6 Slow
1-3 Idiot
0 Brain dead

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BOLDLY MAKING NOISE

At first it felt uncomfortable.

The experience was nothing like the vision quest Wesley Crusher experienced in the TNG episode "Journey's End." A vision of my father did not appear, dramatically telling me that I didn't have to pursue a career in Starfleet. My awareness increased in more subtle yet equally powerful ways.

Yet, like Crusher I'd come to this place in a similar fashion. With help from Lakanta, Wesley faced a decision to remain in Starfleet or not. I was faced with a decision: do I go to my 25th high school reunion or not? And if not, what would I do instead? My assistance initially came from my fiance, who had suggested this weekend experience.

Wesley didn't feel much of a connection to Starfleet and neither did I with my high school. I'd visited my 20th college reunion in 1997 and felt that my high school event would be much the same. Boring. If I went to the reunion, I'd probably meet a couple guys (my school was all male until my senior year) I didn't know then, hadn't talked with at all during the intervening years, and probably wouldn't want to know now. The simple fact was that there wasn't enough of a connection to justify ten hours in the auto each way to Western Reserve Academy in Hudson, Ohio.

At the same time, I wanted to do something fun; something that was relaxing; an event closer to home; and an experience where I felt connected to life. When I first started watching Classic TREK reruns in the early 1980's, like many fans I embraced the show's technology and action. I enjoyed the space battles, laser blasts, photon explosion, transporter beam outs, and related items that were physical. Anything spiritual or emotional just wasn't on my "sensor screen." So when the Classic TREK episode "The Empath" aired, I remember thinking, "What studio fool wrote an episode about feelings?"

Yet, in the years in between, life had dealt me enough ups and downs and emotional "laser blasts" that I'd come to accept and explore aspects that are spiritual, emotional and feeling based. I began to realize, partially through adult education programs and workshops like LifeSpring and others, that there were different ways to experience and view life.

You might conclude that spirituality has slowly become an increasing part of my life in much the same way that spirituality and religion have been included in the DS9 and Voyager series over time. While there was no spirituality in Classic Trek, you can now see much more of it in DS9 thanks to the Bajoran characters, and in Voyager through Chakotay and Tuvok. In TOS the scripts barely mentioned the word "religion," and now the DS9 scripts refer to religion or spirituality in many, if not most episodes.

So, when my fiance asked me to attend this workshop at the Yoga Institute in Hampton, Massachusetts, it didn't take me too long to say yes. Part of me seemed to know that any worthwhile connection is based upon the spiritual. And now I was sitting lotus style on a carpeted floor in a large Yoga studio with about 70 other people. I was "listening to the sound I made," as the instructor emphasized, and not "making the sound I listended to." I'd somewhat boldly gone where I hadn't gone before.

I was chanting. And, I enjoyed it.

The first sounds I made felt awkward and uncomfortable. There was a strong attraction to mimic or to harmonize with the sound that group produced. That strained my voice. So, I chose a different, lower note. It felt more comfortable. And I began to relax.

Fortunately, I'd done enough meditation before to recognize how much easier it was for me to meditate without falling asleep while chanting, compared to meditation in silence. (Plus, if meditation was good enough for Major Kyra or Tuvok or Chakotay, it was good enough for me.) I don't yet have an animal guide (that's another story) like Chakotay in Voyager. But, I did felt more connected to God, to a Higher Power, or to whatever you call the "Force" in your life. Slowly with practice, my sound's intensity grew. It was both separate from the group's sound, and it also blended with the group chant.

I was participating in a group chant. I was performing a Mongolian overtone chant, and I liked it.

Later during the weekend workshop, we performed several Native American, Celtic, and Tibetan chants. Although brief, the two day workshop provided plenty of opportunities for me to explore my voice. I started with humming and graduated to different mouth shapes to alter the sound. I felt lucky to experience the chanting workshop with the instructor, Jill Purce.

If you want to learn about Purce, ther is a good article in the June issue of Magical Blend magazine. Author David Jay Brown, in his article "enCHANTment: Rediscovering the Magic of Sound" interviews Purce and describes her impressive background, credentials, and "The Healing Voice" workshops she conducts.

Brown writes, "Ms. Purce worked with German composer Karlheinz Stockhausen for two years, studying the spiritual dimensions of music, and later studied in the Himalayas with the chant master of the Gyuto Tibetan Monastery and Tantric College. She has been following the Tibetan practice of Dzogchen since 1978, and has also worked with Native Americans and shamans from different traditions."

Ms. Purce also wrote the 1974 book, "The Mystic Spiral: Journey of the Soul" about the evolution of consciousness in spiritual traditions, art and psychology. As General Ediot of "Art and Imagination," during a 15 year period she produced over 30 books on Sacred Traditions, Art and Cosmology, published by Thames and Hudson, Seuil, Heibonsha, and Crossroads.

From Purce's workshop literature, "There is a profound sense of disenchantment in Western society. I think this is because, quite literally, there is no chant in our lives anymore. All the situations in which members of traditinal cultures come together to chant have gradually been eroded away, so we feel disempowered and helpless in a desacralized world."

About her philosophy and goals, Purce says, "My aim is not modest, I am trying to re-enchant the world, which means to make it magical through chanting. My workshops have theis as their aim. I am trying to reintroduce into our daily lives, ways of experiencing the extraordinary power of group chant. My aim is to help people rediscover their own voices as a tool for deep meditation and personal transformation."

Purce's workshops and retreats are for people of most ages; people have attended aged 11 to 90. The variety of professions and reasons for attending are just as broad. Professinal musicians, singers, voice experts and therapists have attended her retreats. So have people who were told in school that they couldn't "hold a tune." So have people who wanted to work through emotional or physical blocks; plus educators, actors and healers. In the workshop I attended there were corporate types, massage therapists, writers, painters, artists, and consultants.

If you and your TREK club are looking to boldly go someplace unexplored; if you are looking for a new adventure, or for an opportunity to boldly chant as you've never chanted before, then Ms. Purce's retreats may be for you. You've heard Worf state several times in TNG and DS9 that the greatest challenge a warrior faces is your own fears. Chanting is a good way to explore yourself, your fears, and your attitudes.

While most of Purce's retreats are in the Devon section of England, she occassionally performs workshops in the United States. For more information or for upcoming workshop and retreat schedules, visit Ms. Purce's web site, or send a SASE with international postage for more information to:

Inner Sound
8 Elms Avenue
London, England N10 2JP
Phone: (0181) 444 4855

George Jenkins
First Officer

© 1998 USS Ronald E. McNair. All rights reserved. This article may be linked to provided it is presented in its entirety with this copyright message appended.

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McNAIR READY ROOM

Star Date: 35868.8 -- Meeting agendas are available via Internet e-mail or fax. To learn more, see us at the next ship meeting. New members are welcome! Meetings are the second Sunday of the month at 3 PM. Call or write us for directions. Contact the USS McNair at P.O. Box 255159, Boston, Mass. 02125-5159. Future meeting schedule:
June '98: George
July '98: Joan. (Cookout)
August '98: at Rebelcon
September '98: Kevin & Sabrina
October '98: Jocelyn
November '98: Robbi
December '98: Ken

The meeting minutes from prior McNair meetings:

Due to technical difficulties that included damage to the isolinear chips where these files were stored, the meeting minutes are currently unavailable.

Submissions to INTERCOM are welcomed and encouraged from both crew and non-crew. Articles must relate to TREK, space science and exploration, NASA, the TREK characters, adventure, actors, literature, fandom, IDIC, collectibles, conventions, or events. Articles should not exceed 1,200 words. For writer's guidelines, send a SASE to the INTERCOM Editor. Send submissions to: INTERCOM Editor, USS Ronald E. McNair, P. O. Box 255159, Boston, Mass. 02125 - 5159. Unsolicited manuscripts will not be returned. Submissions and coments are also welcome for Babylon Five, the X-Files, or other sci-fi subjects. The Editor reserves the right to edit or reject any submissions. Submissions received after the deadline will appear in the next issue, space permitting. The Editor reserves the right to edit and/or reject any submissions. Submission deadlines:
Deadline (Issue Date)
Sept. 1, 1998 (Sept. 15th)
Dec. 1, 1998 (Dec. 15th)
March 1, 1999 (March 15th)
June 1, 1999 (June 15th)
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Y? THE NATIONAL FORUM
ON PEOPLE'S DIFFERENCES

Have you ever wanted to know:

Here's a very interesting web site where you can ask questions such as those above. It's a great idea I wish that I'd thought of first. And it's in sync with the concept of IDIC proposed in TREK by Roddenberry. The site:

Y? The National Forum on People's Differences
http://www.yforum.com/

The Y? forum is a moderated and edited online area that is "designed to give readers a way to ask people from other ethnic or cultural backgrounds the questions they've always been too embarrassed or uncomfortable to ask." The site provides guidelines for both asking a question and for providing the answer. However, both answers and questions are read and edited by the editor before posting "for space and readability, and to paraphrase questions and answers to render them suitable for general viewing." The result is an area on the web where readers can safely follow a dialogue on sensitive topics without the fear of having to wade through racist attacks, foul language, or "flame wars." A variety of topics are welcome at Y? including, but not limited to differences in age, class, disability, gender, geography, occupation, race/ethnicity, religion, or sexual orientation. The Y? Forum was developed and is managed by Phillip J. Milano, an editor for the Florida Times-Union in Jacksonville. The site is not related to the newspaper. The site plans to offer an unmoderated forum in the future, in addition to the current moderated format.

© 1998 USS Ronald E. McNair. All rights reserved. This article may be linked to provided it is presented in its entirety with this copyright message appended.

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COMM CHANNEL NEWS

June 19, 1998 Away mission to Framingham General Cinemas to see the film "Godzilla." For more information contact the USS McNair Captain or First Officer.

June 26, 1998 Away mission to Framingham General Cinemas to see the film "X-Files." For more information contact the USS McNair Captain or First Officer.

June 27, 1998 Babylon 5 video marathon. For more information contact the USS McNair Captain or First Officer.

June 26-28, 1998 Shore Leave 20 at Hunt Valley, Maryland, just north of Baltimore. Guest information unavailable at press time.

July 10-12, 1998 Toronto Trek 12 at the Regal Constellation Hotel (near the airport) in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. A fan produced "Media Science Fiction Convention." Prices from $15 daily. E-mail: tcon@icomm.ca Hotline: (416) 410-TCON (410-8266). Snail mail: Toronto Trek, Suite 0116, Box 187, 65 Front Street West, Toronto, Ontario, M5J 1E6

July 24, 1998 Away mission to Framingham General Cinemas to see the film "Armageddon." For more information contact the USS McNair Captain or First Officer.

July 31 - August 2, 1998 RebelCon '98 at the Taunton Holiday Inn. J. Michael Straczynski will not attend this year's event. CONFIRMED GUESTS: Alexandra Tydings - Aphrodite, Hercules & Xena; Robin Atkin Downes - Byron, Babylon 5; Rob Prior - Commercial and Graphic Artist for 20th Century Fox, Lucasfilm Ltd, Paramount, Marvel Comics, and others. Creator and Artist of the new Lost Heroes comic book featuring the likeness of Mark Hamill, Patricia Tallman, Jason Carter, Walter Koenig, Robin Atkin Downes, and others; Gary Gianni - Eisner Award Winning Artist & Artist of "The Savage Tales of Solomon Kane;" Joe Jusko - Marvel Cover and Trading Card Artist; John Peel - Author of over 50 books including young adult horror novels, science fiction and TV tie-ins, plus novels for "Doctor Who," TNG, DS9, "Quantum Leap," and "The Outer Limits;" Mojo - Supervising Visual FX Animator at Foundation Imaging (Babylon 5 and Star Trek: Voyager); Christian Ready - Hubble Telescope Project; Cortland Hull - Artist, Make-up Specialist, Filmmaker, and Museum Curator; Dr. Mark Hanford - Scandinavian and British Folklore (Dr. Hanford holds a doctorate in folklore from the University of Edinburgh in Scotland and has studied at the University of Iceland). GUESTS NOT CONFIRMED: John C. Flinn, III - Babylon 5's Director of Photography. CONVENTION PROGRAMS: Dealer's Room, Movies and Videos, Art Show, Costume Contest, Auctions, and Autographs. Rebelcon sponsors several charities. PRICES: Weekend:
April 1-July 10, 1998 Adults $43.00/Children 12 & under $21.00
July 11 - At The Door Adults $50.00/Children 12 & under $25.00
Daily:
April 1-July 10, 1998 Adults $25.00/Children 12 & under $15.00
July 11 - At the Door Adults $30.00/Children 12 & under $18.00
Make checks or money orders payable to: World's End Productions. Surface mail: RebelCon - World's End Productions, 10 Rankin Street, Worcester, MA 01605. HOTEL: Holiday Inn (Bay Street at Rte 495 South) in Taunton. Rate: $83.00. Phone: (508) 823-0430. Mention RebelCon when making your reservation.

Sept. 18-20, 1998 Not Just Another Con 14 at the Murray D. Lincoln Memorial Campus Center at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst. Guests: Joe Haldeman, writer and Bob Eggleton, artist. Others TBD.

Nov. 13-15, 1998 United Fan Con in Springfield, Massachusetts. Guests TBD from DS9 and Voyager, who haven't appeared previously in New England.

2001 Noreascon *2001. The fan con of the next millenium. Memberships start at US $8.00. For more information, write to Noreascon*2001, PO Box 1010, Framingham, MA 01701-0205. E-mail: Noreascon 2000

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FROM DATA'S HUMOR CHIP

This arrived via e-mail recently. With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer, the manufacturer, is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today's society....

DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.

PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.

COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.

BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after talking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorite store's return limit.

NEGA-VIAGRA - Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.

NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.

FLYAGRA - This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra.

PRYAGRA - About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people. Note: Apparent over-dose turned three test subjects into "special prosecutors."

LIAGRA - This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available in Regular, Grand Jury, and Presidential Strength versions.

Subject: Humor - the writing assignment

You know that book Men are from Mars, Women from Venus? Well, here's a prime example of that. This assignment was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca (last name deleted) and Gary (last name deleted).

First, the Assignment:

English 44A
SMU
Creative Writing
Prof. Miller
In-class Assignment for Wednesday

Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story.

The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.

And now, the Assignment as submitted by Rebecca & Gary:

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel." Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth -- when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow'em out of the sky!"

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.

Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.

Asshole.

Bitch.

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SO YOU WANNA BE A PARENT, EH?

Thanks to Linda D. for forwarding this material via e-mail:

Preparation for parenthood is not just a matter of reading books and decorating the nusery. Here are 12 simple tests for expectant parents to take to prepare themselves for the real-life experience of being a mother or father.

  1. Women: to prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front. Leave it there for 9 months. After 9 months, take out 10% of the beans. Men: to prepare for paternity, go to the local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet on the counter, and tell the pharmacist to help himself or herself. Then go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office. Go home. Pick up the paper. Read it for the last time.
  2. Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels, and how they have allowed their children to run riot. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour. Enjoy it - it'll be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.
  3. To discover how the nights will feel, walk around the living room from 5:00 - 10:00 PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8 - 12 pounds. At 10:00 PM put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep. Get up at Midnight and walk around the living room again, with the bag, untill 1:00 AM. Set the alarm on for 3:00 AM. Since you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2:00 AM and make a drink. Go to bed at 2:45 AM. Get up again at 3:00 AM when the alarm goes off. Sing songs in the dark until 4:00 AM. Put the alarm on for 5:00 AM. Get up. Make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.
  4. Can you stand the mess children make? To find out, first smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains. Hide a fish finger behind the stereo and leave it there all summer. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds then rub them on the clean walls. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?
  5. Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems: first buy an octopus and a string bag. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that none of the arms hang out. Time allowed for this - all morning.
  6. Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and a pot of paint turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet tube. Using only scotch tape and a piece of foil, turn it into a Christmas cracker. Last, take a milk container, a ping pong ball, and an empty packet of Coco Pops and make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower. Congratulations. You have just qualified for a place on the playgroup committee.
  7. Forget the Miata and buy a Taurus. And don't think you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that. Buy a chocolate ice cream bar and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a quarter. Stick it in the cassette player. Take a family-size packet of chocolate cookies. Mash them down the back seats. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There. Perfect.
  8. Get ready to go out. Wait outside the toilet for half an hour. Go out the front door. Come in again. Go out. Come back in. Go out again. Walk down the front path. Walk back up it. Walk down it again. Walk very slowly down the road for 5 minutes. Stop to inspect minutely every cigarette end, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way. Retrace your steps. Scream that you've had as much as you can stand, until the neighbours come out and stare at you. Give up and go back into the house. You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.
  9. Always repeat everything you say at least five times.
  10. Go to your local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goats eat or destroy. Until you can easily accomplish this do not even contemplate having children.
  11. Hollow out a melon. Make a small hole in the side. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side. Now get a bowl of soggy Weetabix and attempt to spoon it into the swaying melon by pretending to be an aeroplane. Continue until half the Weetabix is gone. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor. You are now ready to feed a 12-month old baby.
  12. Learn the names of every character from Postman Pat, Fireman Sam and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. When you find yourself singing "Postman Pat" at work, you finally qualify as a parent.

    -- Author unknown (and brilliant)

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    FUN ON THE INTERNET

    Do you like things that go ka-boom? Do you like explosions and fire? Then you will probably enjoy Volcano World by the University of North Dakota. You can browse plenty of awesome images and video-clips. You can browse the images of fiery explosions and active volcanoes by region (e.g., Africa, Antarctica, Arctic Ocean, Australia, Europe/West Asia, North America, North Asia, Central and South America, and Southeast Asia), or the "volcano of the week." Some images are from satellites or from the space shuttle, offering a very different perspective. You can also learn about volcanoes on Earth and on the Moon, Mars, and Venus. There's information on active volcanoes around the world, and a forum to ask a volcanologist questions online. The image on the right is a view of the stratovolcano Mount St. Helens from shuttle mission STS-64 on October 16, 1994. When Mount St. Helens erupted on May 18, 1980, the top 1,300 feet of the volcano disappeared within minutes, and the blast area covered over 150 square miles.

    The 100 Greatest Films of the Past 100 Years

    Here's a Web site for movie buffs to catch up on the hundreds of films nominated for honors during the 100th anniversary of American filmmaking. The American Film Institute's Web site offers film fans daily updates on the celebration honoring the 100 greatest American movies to be announced June 23rd. At the site you can try to match the movie choices of the film community in an online poll, chat with other movie mavens, learn interesting movie trivia, and enter an online sweepstakes to win a complete satellite system from U.S. Satellite Broadcasting. Reportedly, some of the movies on the list are "Citizen Kane," "Casablanca," "Gone With The Wind," "Star Wars," "It's A Wonderful Life," "Psycho," and "The Wizard of Oz." Me? I hope that the flick "When Harry Met Sally" makes the final cut.

    Xena and Hercules fans:

    Have you asked yourself any questions such as:

    • What was the name of the Greek character who searched in vain with a lamp for an honest person?
    • Who were the actual Greek characters historically?
    • Who was Achilles?
    • How can I learn more about Aphrodite or Ares?
    • Was there really a character named Callisto?
    Well, thanks to the marvel of the Internet you can find these answers quickly and easily. You don't have to wander down to the local town library and search through some dusty, dark stacks of books. Here are a couple sites that will help you answer the above questions:

    Diogenes of Sinope
    Diogenes did a lot more than wander the earth with a lamp. You can learn more here about what he did or didn't do. Colin Pringle maintains this site.

    Greek Mythology Link - Individuals
    Who was Agamemnon? Ajax 1 and Ajax 2? Apollo? Athena? Hera? Nike? Plutus? This site contains a good "starter set" list Greek character names you can browse to find explanations and biographies. This site has plenty of links to other Greek mythology resources, too. Carlos Parada maintains this site.

    © 1998 USS Ronald E. McNair. All rights reserved. This article may be linked to provided it is presented in its entirety with this copyright message appended.

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    NASA NOTES

    The following was excerpted from Jonathan's Space Report, Number 362, June 6, 1998:

    Shuttle and Mir
    "Shuttle mission STS-91 was launched at 2206 UTC on Jun 2. This was the first test of the super lightweight Al-Li external tank, which seems to have worked fine. At 2215 UTC Discovery entered a temporary 74 x 324 km x 51.6 deg orbit, with the OMS-2 burn due within the hour.

    Discovery is scheduled to dock with the Mir space station, and pick up astronaut Andy Thomas, ending the final US long duration flight to Mir. It also carries a test flight of the AMS particle physics experiment.

    The Shuttle schedule continues in flux. Although NASA will probably announce an STS-88 target in December and a delay of STS-93 to January, Russian delays in funding the ISS Service Module lead to me expect STS-88 will continue to slip, which would mean STS-93 staying at its current December date."

    Recent Launches
    "China launched a Chang Zheng 3B launch vehicle from Xichang on May 30. It orbited the Zhongwei 1 (Chinastar 1) satellite, an A2100 class comsat built by Lockheed Martin/Sunnyvale. Zhongwei 1 will serve China, India, Korea and southeast Asia with 18 C-band and 20 Ku-band transponders. It is operated by the China Orient Telecommunications Satellite Co, part of the Chinese telecoms ministry. Zhongwei 1 and the CZ-3B's final liquid hydrogen upper stage were placed in an initial supersynchronous 216 x 85,035 km x 24.4 deg transfer orbit."

    Table of Recent Launches
    Date UTNameLaunch VehicleSiteMission
    May 02 0916Iridium 69CZ-2C/SDTaiyuanComsat 26A
    May 02 0916Iridium 69CZ-2C/SDTaiyuanComsat 26B
    May 07 0853Kosmos-2351Molniya-MPlesetskEarly Warn 27A
    May 07 2345Echostar 4Proton-K/DM3BaykonurComsat 28A
    May 09 0138USA 139Titan CentaurCanaveral SLC40Sigint 29A
    May 13 1552NOAA 15Titan 2Vandenberg SLC 4WWeather 30A
    May 14 2212Progress M-39Soyuz-UNaykonur LC1Cargo 31A
    May 17 2116Iridium 70Delta 7920Vandenberg SLC 2WComsat 32A
    May 30 1000Zhongwei 1CZ-3BXixhangComsat
    Jun 02 2206DiscoveryShuttleKennedy LC 39ASpaceship

    Current Shuttle Processing Status
    OrbitersLocationMissionLaunch - Due
    OV-102 ColumbiaOPF Bay 3STS-93Unknown
    OV-103 DiscoveryLEOSTS-91--
    OV-102 AtlantisPalmdaleOMDP--
    OV-102 EndeavourOPF Bay 1STS-88Unknown

    Jonathan's Space Report is published by Jonathan McDowell at the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics in Cambridge, Mass. USA. To subscribe to the e-mail distribution list, send an e-mail to majordomo@head-cfa.harvard.edu with the subject "subscribe jsr" without the quotes.

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    KIDBITS

    Dinosaurs Roam the Earth....
    My son Ian, age 4 and I were talking about trees last week. He was concerned that people might cut too many down to use for lumber. I told him we try to plant more, but they take a long time to grow. I pointed out that some trees can grow to be 100 or 200 years old. Ian then exclaimed: "I didn't know there were dinosaur trees!"

    Hooray for Mom.....
    While waiting for my husband to get ready to go out one night, our baby-sitter and I were playing with Joshua (then age 15mos). We asked him to point out his nose. He pointed it out so we gave him a round of applause and he joined in. Then we asked him to show us his eyes. He pointed, we clapped, he clapped. Next we asked about his ears, which he hadn't mastered yet. Instinctively the babysitter and I grabbed at our ears. Without missing a beat, Joshua applauded.

    Four going on Forty.......
    One day while we were driving, Ian announced that when he was "all grown up", he was going to ride the school bus to school. I told him "I have some good news for you, you don't have to be all grown up to ride the school bus, you only have to be six" to which Ian replied: "Instead of seven?"

    Mooooove Over ......
    Joshua is really into animals. Whenever we read, we try to imitate the sound of whatever animal happens to be in the story. Once when he was 15 months old I was changing his somewhat unpleasant diaper and murmured "Holy cow". Joshua replied "Mooooo"!

    Eau De Fairy ...
    One morning Cindy, Age 6, woke up to find that the 'tooth fairy' had visited her.... After finding her 'payment' under her pillow, she called out excitedly: "Mommy come smell my pillow - there's magic dust!"

    Credit Where Credit's Due...
    We were visiting my friend Judy one morning and while in her children's room, I noticed the bulletin board adorned with artwork that had obviously been created by Katie, 4 and Josh, 2-1/2. Impressed, I remarked to Josh "Wow! Who did THIS?" and he answered ... "Mom."

    He Said, She Said ...
    Matt, 4 and his cousin Tommy, Age 3 were seated in the back of the van while Tommy's Mom filled the tank. Tommy said to Matt "Look, He's getting gas." Matt felt the need to correct his cousin: "That's not a HE, its a SHE." Then came Tommy's rebuttal: "No, that's my MOM!"

    Top Ten Reasons Why Working Full-Time Looks Good
    10. Conversations with whole sentences.
    9. Since you've been 'at home', you've learned to sleep with your eyes open.... therefore meeting time = nap time.
    8. Two words: Lunch Break.
    7. When the stress level goes through the roof, you can leave your work and take a walk - alone - and its perfectly legal.
    6. No little elves following you around, undoing things.
    5. When you pick up the phone, co-workers don't scream.
    4. Money. Money. Money.
    3. Anybody who throws food at, spits up or wets on you can be arrested, charged with assault and battery and forced to clean it all up.
    2. At lunch, nobody will pull on your pant leg and ask for juice.
    And the number one reason why working full-time looks good:
    1. Bathroom breaks - where nobody watches!

    by Linda J. Driscoll
    Parent

    © 1998 Linda J. Driscoll. All rights reserved. Reprinted with permission. This article may be linked to provided it is presented in its entirety with this copyright message appended.

    Editor's Note: The USS McNair would like to welcome this new column by Linda Driscoll which focuses upon the humor of parenting. Names have been changed to protect persons' privacy.

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