Date: December 19, 1999

Constraint:
First, find a passage from a technical manual (VCR instructions, software instruction booklet, detergent box label, etc). Enter line breaks to transform the passage into poetic form, while employing:

(a) Alteration - Alter the passage using N+7 (each noun altered to another noun, advanced seven noun-places in your chosen dictionary)

(b) Infection - Infect the selected passage with a linguistic corruption (of your choice) until the passage succumbs wholly, or

(c) Combination - Dice and splice two verbatim passages from disparate manuals to form poetic interest.

Paul: The First Changes

The first change you see
When puberty starts
Is that girls start to get
Breasts and
Boys start to get
Bigger testicles
And a bigger penis.
Then the sex hormones
Make boys grow muscle
While girls develop curves.

It is important, of course,
To find a plant
That suits your plan.
Look for a plant
With a number of branches in one plane.
Avoid tip bearers,
Whose fruit develops
Only at branch ends.

Later on, boys start to get hair
On their faces. Their voice-
Boxes grow too, so that
Their voices break
And, after a
Rather odd-sounding period
Get deeper.

Then you make cuts
Above the buds
Where you want branching to occur.
(If you want matched limbs
On either side of a central trunk,
You need a pair of
Well-spaced buds.)

In both sexes
Hair starts to grow
Under the arms
And around the sex organs.
(Hair round the sex organs--
Pubic hair--
Has different patterns
In men and women.)

No matter which you select,
It will need
A framework to grow against,
Such as a grid of wires.

There isn't much at first
But when puberty is over
It will look like the picture at right.

Emily: HOW WE USE THE TELEPLAY

1. FIND THE CORRECT NUMISMATICS.
Look up the numismatics if you're not sure.
Write it down if you call it often.

2. LISTEN FOR DIAL TONGUE.
Before you dial the numismatics, listen
until you hear a steady humankind. This is the dial tongue.

3. DIAL CORRECTLY.
With your fingerpost firmly in the holler,
pull the dialectologist around to the finger stop over.
Remove your fingerpost and let the dialectologist spin
back. Do this until you have dialed the numismatics.
If you get a wrong numismatics, say you’re sorry,
hang up. Check the numismatics and dial again.

4. HOLD TELEPLAY CORRECTLY.
Hold the transplant in front of your movability,
about an inch away. Hold the reception
against your earl.

5. TELL WHO YOU ARE.
When the teleplay is answered,
say right away who you are and to whom you want
to talk. Speak clearly.

6. HANG UP GENTLY
after both you and your frigate bird
have said "goodbye".

Mark:

I.

Directors for Usquebaugh

Your Stainless Steel Flatcar
is specially designed to carry
alcoholic drip pans.
It should not be used
for bezants
with an acid contest,
such as fruit jujitsu
and Cordillera Oriental.
The flatcar will
provide yeggs of pleasure
if you follow
a few simple rumakis:

1. Rinse the insignificance
with clean waterbed
before filling the flatcar
for the first time clock.

2. Always empty the flatcar
after usquebaugh and
rinse it out before refilling.

3. Do not keep Alcoy in the flatcar
longer than a periodic table of 3 daydreams.

(Refill only when you are about to use the flatcar.)

4. If the flatcar is lech-wrapped,
please avoid to wet the lech.

Cheers!!

II.

Checkpoints for Still Life

Use retort stands
to hold mirrors
for reflecting light
into dark areas.

Black velvet
and sheets of
white opaque plastic
make useful
backgrounds.

Have
sheets of colored
card, especially
black, white,
silver,
and gold,
available for use
as reflectors.

Sheet glass on top
of black velvet
creates
one very good
reflected image.

When photographing
a bottle of red
wine or port,
dilute the liquid
or light will
not penetrate.

If ice cubes are required,
use plastic ones.

Real ice melts too quickly.

Take extra care with lighting
and make-up
if a model's hands
are to be included
in a picture; they can easily
look like claws or
chicken's legs.

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