A long time ago, probably in 1976, one of the players in our group was particularly amused by a statement made by another player and said, "I'm gonna write that down."  Well, interestingly enough he actually did write it down - and then wrote down the next stupid thing to be said, and then someone else said, "Write that down too," and so began the practice in our gaming groups to habitually write down stupid or bizarre statements and misstatements that occurred during play of AD&D, Traveler, Nuclear War, and various other games we played on Saturdays.  I still have all the original scraps of paper but the ones that are legible and actually make some sort of sense (if you can call it that) appear below.

Apparently, this is not an entirely unheard of practice as threads occasionally reappear on the subject.  This is not a compilation of those.  These are all things said at games in which I was a player or the DM.  Eventually, all the notepad pages and other scraps were simply given to me to archive or do with what I wanted.  They were typically kept available somewhere near the table and in quiet moments a player would occasionally start reading all the old quotes.  I eventually decided that some of them were just incomprehensible as the original context was never recorded but for the sake of posterity the best of them needed to be transcribed to an electronic format and made publicly available.

The initials following each statement are of course those of the person who said it and those with a slash are exchanges between two or more people.  For reasons of security and saving them tremendous embarrassment I won't give their full names.  DVP, however is me.

The statements appear in no particular order as no attempt was ever made to keep the pages in order.  They are vaguely chronological I think.  Obviously some of these statements still make no sense at all to those who weren't there, or seem to be missing a word or two.  Sometimes it just seems that way because of the lack of context, but it is usually because it is written here exactly as it was spoken and that alone may be why it seemed amusing enough to "write that down".

Not all of these are clean!  If crude, offensive language from teenagers 30+ years ago might shock you I'd proceed with caution.

If I could squeeze a bridge out of my butt it would be part of their movement. - MJW

I said I was going to bite Bannor with my poison, I didn't say I had any. - MJW

What if there's a secret room in the door? - MJW

Oh, ick. He's throwing a spell. - CLN

I can't count from this distance. - CLN

Pull your ass out of your head! - KVP

That cat looks like everything else I've seen. - SJL

They were talking about Sylvester Stallone being dead because he was killed. - CLN

They sail straight towards you in skeletal fury. - CLN

I'm going to camoflage my griffon.
Ok, you have a bush with wings. - MJW/CLN

Your bush pounces on a horse and eats it. - CLN

They would seem to have gone off battle stasis. - DGW

Why would we rescue some 300 old lady? - MJW

Give yourself 5 rounds. - DGW

We fell from Corsa and were smooshed to smithereens. GDH

Does the pit fall? - MJW

In the original movie or the remake?
No, The Stuntman. - DGW/DVP

It's my musical requirement for accounting. - MOS

There are little micro-bionic cells in water. - DGW

I know how fast giant Crabs move.
How fast?
I don't know. - GDH/DGW

Creatures who can do pushups until they die.
I know lots of creatures that can do that. - DGW/DVP

Then you would have legions of armies. - DGW

Then you would have thousands of armies. - DGW

People will start wearing heavy armor and then you can hit them easier. - DGW

Should populations be less, equal, or smaller than now. - CLN

I blend in with the woods becoming effectively invisibly. - CLN

You see a Lurker above and a Trapper below.
And a rapist from the side. - DVP/MOS

Critics just like things they like. - MOS

I was the only one who knew how to drove a truck. - GDH

Can I use him?
Can I use him?
Well those are the two that I don't want to use. I want to use him! -GDH/CLN

I'm fixing my disease. - MOS

You're not even taking on space. - SWA

Walk the airlock. - SWA

You get up on Chinchillas' soldiers {shoulders}. - SWA

We will go to the door next door. - DVP

It's not going to bring the guards from up there up there. - MJW

They were all knocked to their feet. - SWA

The floorplans of a computer. - BVD

What are you doing?
Nothing. - CLN/MJW

It's an old monks' convent. - MJW

5000, a nice, round, odd number. - DVP

I have an unearing sense of direction. - CLN

Dublin, a war-torn country. - DVP

And then we take them capture. - DGW

You can call your Dwarven town Smallville! - CLN

If my Dwarf can't dig there, it doesn't exist! - MJW

These guys are going to go pitch a battle outside the castle. - SGL

You see horses with arms and upon closer inspection they have two-foot horns coming out of their foreheads. - SGL

All of the voices that Ironhammer hears are from above. SGL

These are all grey - the white ones. - MJW

I don't want him soaking up treasure. - CLN

Ah! An Ice Storm. That should fry their balls! - HRK

I'm not selling it for free. - GDH

Are you that far nearsighted? - GDH

God smokes.
How do you know?
I saw the movie. - BDV/DGW

Where did that wish of three wishes go? - SWA

Its' hidth and width. - CLN

Do my teeth get to swing in the first round?
No it grows up in magic phase. - DGW/CLN

What is holding you up in the air?
A die.
Well, can it be dispelled? - MJW/CLN

His head stops. - MJW

You get thrown at by twenty boulders. - CLN

It unaffects him. - CLN

Newsreel! Aste reams ass! Waves throbbing dick! - KVP

That's great, you're dead but your cloak's not! - MJW

They're supposed to send you a permanent plastic one. - DGW

Forty medium feet. - DGW

You're one second year old. - SWA

Greywolf is suspended from the floor. - SWA

Did it blow up when it was on the lound? - DGW

I'll pull out a spell. - CLN

I'm slitting the throat of his dick. - MJW

In this room it opens up into a hallway. - MAK

He has a morning star on both belts. - MAK

One percent of its original spell. - MAK

I've got to think of a name for Ironhammer. - MJW

Ran off with his negative chain and sword. - MJW

Is it a Ford?
No, a 3-speed. - ?/DGW

Come out with your cows up! - MJW

You see nothing but an unending supreme. - CLN

Let's go attack the Lich's castle! - MJW

I'm wearing a pair of plate. - MJW

Dispell this magic-user. - JTG

I'm taking off but flying on the ground. - SWA

Take ten saving throws. - CLN

Would you lend me your warm of Hell? - MJW

I have a couple of scrolls with chariots in them. - DGW

What does a Dwarf need to go to ninth level? - MJW

A circle is different than an axe. - SWA

I didn't hack him down, I beat him up and he died. - MJW

If I'm killed you had better set up the jail-room because I'm going to kill them. - MJW

They'll probably try me for death. - MJW

Mike, please restart your movement. - DVP

What's your cleric wearing?
Four. No, three. - ?/GDH

Hold still you chickenless head! No, that makes sense! - MJW

Can't you see that hole that was in your chest? - DVP

I'm going down to the beak, looking in it and making sure it's not a ballista. - MJW

Cure Light me. - MJW

Throw another spell. Zoom! - SPL

Ha ha! Scared that light away! - MJW

Dead corpses fly everywhere. - MOS

Does it smell gold-like? - DGW

Does my sword have a chance to distinguish the flames? - DGW

We found an extraterrestrial, uh, extradimensional, uh, big hole in the side of the mountain. - DGW

Doug, these are white Giants. - DVP

Erratical flight patterns. - DGW

Brim healing potions. Heal it to the rim with Brim. - DVP

I want two more inches of snow by morningfall. - CLN

Another 250 levels like that and I will go up two levels. - DGW

I will totally separate him all over the place. - MJW

Go down there you dead corpse. - MJW

He catches the water before it falls. - MJW

I'm kissing my ass with my hand. - MJW

A river of ladder. {lava} - DGW

Casey's and I's. - DGW

Here comes the rigor mortis. {Remorhaz} - MJW

I wouldn't shit you. You're my favorite turd. - DVP

Hand me the Duane, orange. - MJW

Along with somebodys blue-sided die. SWA

He bites off his neck! - CLN

Throw a smell smell. - KVP

The string is bent out of shape. - CLN

I want to borrow your Cure Light. {players handbook} - DGW

I've been in good taste. - SGL

Are you dead dead? - HAK

I'm lightning boating it. - SWA

Torture all of the ships you see on the inner sea! - MJW

The pegasi patrol riding over cloud dunes. - MJW

You see the glint of stone. - CLN

Oh, you're 11th level, halfway to 10th. - DVP

You and what ten tall person? - MJW

I will walk under the door. - DGW

The only courts in dwarven towns are small claims courts. - DGW & CLN

Where's my hammer, where is he? - MJW

Your darkness runs out. - DVP

Sure. The chief doesn't drink peasant water? - MJW

I want to see the master of the Heads' Guild. - DGW

You wake up and you're dead. - DVP

There must be another entrance to your labiathrinth. - CLN

I'm casting a saving throw. - DGW

An automatic 20. - KVP

Do I get to mark myself down for this? - KVP

Let's unsick them. - DGW

We won't realize what we know. - DGW

Hello. I am a town. - CLN

Elvis' dying brought him back to life. - SGL

Over five years new. - CLN

What is behind the burning curtain?
All you see is smoke and burning. - ?/MJW

He missed, barely fumbling. - MJW

We go to different schools together. - MOS

Screw her, she's no lady! - CLN

What armor is Greywolf? -MJW

I was holding my Gallanger in one hand and firing my ballista with the other. - DVP

I supermissile the guy who's firing bows at me. -SWA

Not spells that throw spells. - CLN

And standing on these walls... - MAK

I want to know my secret self. - DGW

I don't want this stupid Rod of Consolation. - MJW

I'm going to fire my mighty javelin. - CLN

I'm surrounded! I'm caught on one side. - MJW

I'm wearing armor class 5. - DVP

You hear the sound of silence. - CLN

Aste is a limp wrist! - CLN

Since when did I start raising classes? - MJW

We're going to knock him down.
But the knight is on a tapestry! - ?/MJW

I'm looking at him with my eyes. - MJW

My god can chew him apart with his hands!
Who's your god?
Bruce Lee. - MJW/?

You can't fall any distance until you're fourth level. - DVP

Mike, you're going to stretch your eye out. - SGL

Is there a hack option? - CLN

I'm going to destroy The Land, and Lord Foul with it! Shit! I missed! - DVP

Not so close, we have to be real close together. - MJW

He had to make a roll to see a 35' long hole? - CLN

We'll make vines out of the foliage. - CLN

We'll make a human rope. - MJW

No, it's gotta be mass light. - SGL

Screw your hole! - CLN

Near the hand of the skeleton is a pile of gemstones. There's one of them. - SGL

Not after you've taken a swung at him. - SGL

You ballet through melee. - DVP

Let's loot the treasure. - SWA

It's supposedly supposed to... - DVP

Blink, hell! Zoooom! - DVP

The Steve million dollar man. - DVP

You see a building inside a glacier. - SGL

All the men sank and the ship died. - DGW

Glows with mochotivity. - SGL

You see an immobile statue. - SWA

Boots of Levitation are no good unless you have a sail. - MJW

We break down the stairs. - MAK

Packets of resistance. - SWA

He is the slave and master of Nathrax. - CLN

A fingernail full. - SWA

They're kind of like das monsters. - KVP

I'm looking around invisibly. - KVP

I'll throw all of my selves at their bodies. - SGL

If he corners us close enough we'll throw him to you. - DVP

I couldn't hit a pile of Jell-O if it jumped at my sword. - DVP

See this guy? He's invisible. - MOS

We fought four white dragons the last time.
Blue with a tinge of white. - CLN/SWA

Your body is penetrated with a constriction. - SWA

No he's not, he's dumb always that way. - DGW

I'm omnidextrous. - SWA

My cloak is tired. - CLN

Over there is a castle sitting on top of a bunch of hills. - MAK

I'm going to take my glove off and hit him with it on. - SWA

Do I get to refill my potions? - KVP

All the doors are empty. - SWA

It's written down in legendary writing. - DGW

You were mugged by the garbage company? - MJW

We'll mail ourselves there. - DVP

Doug, you're talking to value village here. - MJW

They don't need a permit. They're their own permit. - MAK

That's what I was driving home at. - DGW

I barely escaped with my life but I lost my nose. - MJW

I guess you can do it. You're a bear. - CLN

Since we've started Traveller we've gotten better dumb sayings. - CLN

They won't be able to see me!
Sure they will... why not? - DGW/CLN

He's standing right behind me, it's kind of tough to hit me in the back of the head. - MAK

You're not plunging into the atmosphere you're plunging out of it. - CLN

There can't be that much terrain between the trail and the highway. - MJW

What are we gonna do when we get there? Shoot down a car? - MAK

Freeze?! You don't say freeze, you blow the shit out of them! - MAK

Eat this you universe, you! - DVP

God! My pen's wrong. - CLN

I can't drive a bloody Vega. - MJW

Snailhead the lizard and Booboo the bear. - MJW/DVP

You crash into the building sideways, then get hit from behind.
Wow. - CLN/MJW

Hey, you guys are all bloody.
Yeah, we're meatcutters on strike. It's okay. - CLN/MJW

He needs to be injured. - DGW

Oh great, now they're going to surround the adjacent neighborhood. - MJW

Fine. Go ahead and surrender yourself you candy-ass, and I'll waste myself a cop car. - MJW

Plus aiding and abetting a felonist. - MJW

If we don't shoot you in the back the cops will throw you in jail for life. - DVP

Do me. Doug's figuring himself out. - MJW

We look up and there are rangers paratrooping down. - MJW

I'll stand there a square. - MJW

You ever seen downtown? There's no buildings {bushes} alongside the streets. - DVP

That'll trim off all these cops coming to the restaurants. - DVP

I couldn't hear you. You were talking into your leg. - MJW

I come to and read the brick. - DVP

I'll whisper loudly. - DVP

We can always steal a car.
Do you want to?

All travel times are half distance. - DGW

I took trapping. I'll go out and trap a wild bed and then tame it. Forget it. I didn't take it. - MOS

Can I buy some leather gloves so when I apply poison to my weapons I don't have a chance of infecting myself? - GDH

What kind of terrain is it?
It's graph paper terrain. - MJW/MOS

It makes sense for your guys to go off in missile phase. - CLN

Can I still swing my bastard sword two-handed? {after having arm cut off} - CLN

If I stick a spindle up my butt will my nose fall off or run off? - KVP

You can tell he's not thinking. His lights are off. - GDH

How many inches in an ounce? - MJW

9/10/83 DVP as DM rolls three critical hits in a row - all of which are double damage.

What are those two jock itches doing over there? - MJW

I'll magic missile his buttocks as they flap in the wind. - MOS

Mark's gonna love you to death. - MJW

Do the guys with bows have bows? - MAK

How far is 15 inches?
5 inches. - DVP/DGW

The mage trips and snubs his nose. - MJW

Do they have, like, weapons? - CLN

I'm not popping in. I'm riding over. - GDH

I'm still blinking. Ah, my head's still on. - DVP

A martial artist or just a pain in the butt? - DVP

It will be betterly displaced. - MJW

If I hit you in the front I might not hit you. - MAK

He's at no under. - DGW

There's rain and haze and rocks and lots of other cover. - DVP

Your horse is green with rigor mortis. - MJW

Didn't my horse swing at him or something? - MOS

He's not in combat movement with you. - DGW

Thirty feet's only one yard... about. - MJW

I'll run into the room and drink the flask. - MOS

Can I be his inner conscience and tell him to turn off the torch? - DGW

I search the town trying to figure out why they don't make dwarven ale. - MJW

There's only one god you can use and his names' Phil the Ranger. - DGW

We all died. I all died. - DVP

Are you an elf?
Gross! - CLN/DGW

It looks like springs for a paraplegic bed. - MJW

I was listening to you and your lips didn't even move. - DGW

Ah, ooh. I'm internally bleeding. - MJW

How deep is the pit?
8 points. - MJW/DVP

Unless they're armor class negative 5 I missed. - DVP

Magic?... Magic?... Magic?... Okay, movement...
Oh! Magic! - DGW/MAK

I search the tick for his treasure. MJW

He's running down the fucking hallway. How fat is he? - MJW

It's kind of like an opportunity backstab. - DVP

I'll examine its dead body and memorize it. - MJW

Why are you kicking my foot?
Religious reasons. - DVP/MJW

Duane, my legs are getting tired of kicking you. - MJW

Fag! Fag! I stamp a big thingy on his head. - MJW

2 points to the one who had the audacity to turn and face me. - CLN

I'll pinch his butt with a crane. - MAK

This is my deterrent force that I'm not going to show anybody. - MAK

You shoot down a bomb loaded with propaganda. - MJW

What's your name Casey? - ?

My thief is clinging precariously to the cliff like a cheap plastic wrap. - DVP

I'm taking his pulse with my foot. - MJW

I'm tippy-toeing up and searching the body. - MJW

I was going to face his ass! - DVP

Here's the five million Duane killed, and here's the two million Doug embarrassed. - CLN

What does that have to do with anything?
Nothing. - CLN/DVP

Yeah. The only people living there... - CLN/MAK

I'm finally getting some blood back in my circulation. - DGW

He agrees to protect the guards. - DVP

I'm tempted to go out and just build. - MAK

What do you climb if you have climbing skill? - MJW

Thank you. I kiss your memory. - MAK

I try busting it open. Oh, it's iron. Then I'll pick the lock. {this from a thief} - GDH

I'll scoop about 500 gold in. - GDH

We are a friend of his. - MAK

I was going to build the tallest tower in the fort and leap out of it. - MAK

Who's it to ya? - MAK

I'm father Hardon. May I help you my child? - MOS

I collect my thoughts which have been scattered all over the battlefield. - MJW

Mark, why do you ride my dice all the time?
Because I have a horse.
Why not ride someone else's dice? - MOS/MAK

A nondescript looking blob is coming at you at warp speed.
There's only two of 'em. Swarm them! - ?/MJW

I wanted to be lawful good so I could do deeds like charging into battle and getting hacked up. - TJK

Eleven. A direct miss. - DGW

I have a 105% chance of hitting - I'd better hit. - MAK

I was going to drop smoke rounds but I couldn't because there was smoke in the way. - MAK

What do clubs throw as?
There's no such thing! - MJW/DVP

Did anyone die and not live? - GDH

We have three thrieves. - CLN

It missed.
Ha ha!
Don't laugh it may not have. CLN/DGW

Elves bathe in rooms with ghosts! - MJW

They were firing tanks at it. - MJW

Punch him? How? - GDH

I don't have any lights on. - DGW

You're disintegrated Doug. You cease to exist. You're subatomic particles.
Big deal. - CLN/DGW

It hangs limply in his hands. - CLN

The lamp burned down and fell over. - CLN

El Kabong! Ugh! Ugh! 20! - MAK

He gets brain hemherroids. - DGW

Wanna buy a Sword of Sharpness?
That's not a very holy weapon is it?
Bless it! - MJW/MAK

Tell him to give me my head back or he owes me a wish. - DVP

Now for the final finale. - DGW

How badly does he die? - CLN

It's going to ruin my pretty 19 constitution. - MAK

There's 2300 dwarves popping out of rat holes - CLN

I'll lead them. The bitch brigade. - MOS

I had a bad dream that my castle was being attacked so I filled it full of food. - MJW

It's a periodic victory. - MJW

Where did you get that voice from? - MOS

Just let me ramble on in silence. - DVP

I'm a madman! I rolled two eighteens! - MJW

How much money do you find out? - MJW

I'll register good. - GDH

I think you should get a little bonus for a big one. - GDH

They're those funny things that change into things. - GDH

I'll bet you a hundred percent that I'm right. - ?

That's right. You were walking around dead for a while. - ?

Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce of the incredible armor class of a blind man. - MJW

Is he unblinded yet? - MJW

We're being attacked and it's all because your marble was fuzzy! - MJW

Save me mister thief... monk... assassin... whatever you are. - MOS

I've got my crossbow cranked out. - GDH

That looks like a clean paddle cut to me. - MJW

The revenge of the boatman! - CLN

I've got my arrow out on that pool. - SRB

My armor class is +4 against natural giants. - MOS

They're standing in the coals with barefeet on. - MJW

Ironhammer leaps to his knees with his Gallanger out. - MJW

We can float all the way to Magus' underwater. - MJW

There's no reason that any class can be clerics. - MJW

Do they look like emblems I've foughten? - SGL

How tall is the ceiling?
It goes up to the ceiling. - DGW

Scott plays very neutral on the neutral side of neutral good. - KVP

I'm throwing a missile. - MJW

That'd be a great new race. You could be a juggler instead of an assassin. - MJW

I'm climbing back up for all those rounds that we were sitting there. - MOS

You can slit its nose. - CLN

Raise him you mindless butthole! - MJW

Now that I drank my age potion I can attack three times per damage. - MJW

Are you you? - CLN

It would be weird to have a rope. - ?

I put one of my butts inside and couldn't get it out. {cigarette} - BDV

Can I fire my two longbows? - GDH

He turns into a big holy sword! - MJW

What intelligent wisdom I have - GDH

It gives a mass effect. - MJW

I'm eating my Pepsi because my mouth is burning down. - GDH

What are you swinging? A longbow? - GDH

Take points! - GDH

I fumbled. No possible fumble. - GDH

You're standing before your deity.
I'm juggling him! - DVP/MJW

How much will it cost by ten by ten square feet? - DGW

How are our worlds connected?
By a long tunnel. - CLN/DVP

We appear in a big nuclear explosion. - MJW

He hacked me down to the max. - GDH

Kind of like how generations of people were donated to build that. - DGW

The Dobbeler effect. - MJW

There's the Citadel of Fire. Right where the 1000' crater used to be. - CLN

Get on the tips of his toes and smash them - GDH

Let's loot his bodies. - GDH

He's dressed in pretty jewelry. - DVP

How high is this thing standing when it's lying down? - GDH

I'm a generic brand paladin. - KVP & CLN

He's charging you.
I'll follow him. - CLN/DGW

You're mean you statue you. - CLN

Why are you shooting the statue if you thought it was a statue? - SWA

Let a dwarf do a mans job. - MJW

She's got a nice butt.
Yeah, but it's evil. - ?/MOS

You can't hide in a brick wall. - HRK

Valeria, there's a rat in the prismatic sphere! It actually made it in!
That's right. I did. - DGW/CLN

I go away counting my luck. - CLN

Here's where Valeria went through a blade runner. - BDV

Get away from me you faggot!
No, I'm an elf! - GDH/CLN

I did a four. - BDV

Blink. He's dead. - GDH

What do I roll after a twenty? A one-sided? - BDV

He moves books. - BDV

I made my wing of wizardwy. - DVP

How are you seeing?
We have a flaming faggot in the party. - ?/DVP

A bunch of Ogres charge you.
How many?
Two. - ?

Blink, blink. I critical twice. - GDH

A plate of armor. - GDH

I always dive sideways. - DGW

Why is he swinging three-sided dice? - GDH

Don't kill me goddammit, I'm dead! - ?

We dig Greywolf up. Here Corsa {the cleric}. Make it work. - MJW

I thought you were missileing your dwarven thrower. - GDH

What alignment are you?
Maroon. - DVP/MJW

It's fun playing with yourself. - CLN

Put him right next to Tiamat so he can draw her head fire. - KVP

These dwarven deities are short on words. - CLN

Bored Flak isn't bringing any magic. He's leaving his fingers behind. - MJW

Ceremonial gas. - MJW

I wore one shoe on each feet. - DGW

Hack. Slay. We needed a good fight anyway. - MAK

Slash. Slash. What's your armor class? - MAK

Next time I blip up I will. - GDH

I'm going to Hank on him hack. - BDV

You find three scroll books. - HRK

What's your distance of seeing? - HRK

Corsa, you had better stay alive in there or you're dead! - MJW

I'm the only person who can fight while injured. - KVP

No, you don't have extraterrestrial senses. - MJW

I'll find a lizard that matches my general description although his face doesn't matter - I'll mangle it anyway. - MJW

Are you a guy?
Yeah but I can be female if you want. - SGL

We don't want a bank with meson weaponry in it. - MJW

I can only run 4 squares you piece of crap. - MJW

They're going to get face prints off that mask. - RMS

The tail is inside the armor. It could be a fluffy dog tail. Dogs have tails too. MJW

Let's pull into the garage and take off. - MJW

I'll reach across the street and yank out. - SGL

You know, the green plants that grow air. - ?

Space is real cold this time of year. - MAK

Mark, we're going down to bombers are us. - MJW

Full suck Mister Scott! Full suck! - DGW

Ooh, death in stereo! - DVP/KVP

Apologize then for threatening to shoot me. - MAK

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Per per. - MAK

What a piece of crap you turned out to be. - MJW

Shut up. Why don't you go babble in the bathroom. - MJW

Mark, why do you have 'Kringle' written in the back of your pants?
Because it's fun. - MJW/MAK

Pistol shit! - DVP

I've got a beer here and I'm not afraid to use it. - MAK

Kiss mine Doug.
No, no Duane. That's getting too technical. - DVP/MJW

Knead my butt Mark. - MJW

Mike, you shouldn't have done that. Die Duane! - MAK

Oh, I'm so sorry. How can I stand myself? -MAK

Damn, damn, damn my eyes. - DVP

I'll go down the wall and follow the screams. - MJW

Maybe I could get a job as the Barons' wizard and he could have an accident like falling on a lightening bolt or something. - MJW

What are you doing?
I'm waiting around for some asshole to come back with the rest of my house. - RMS/MJW

As soon as you get your rear end fixed I'll come over. - CLN

What did I find?
Nothing of value.
I'll take it! - DGW/DVP

I'm going to pilfer the second level of the tower. - ?

I'll kick him once in a while when we stop to rest. - MJW

We can make tennis-like balls. - DGW

Deal me rotten population in a rude manner. - MJW

We were driving almost on the freeway, down this road kind of next to the freeway. - MOS

They're heavy really material. - MJW

Yeah, they got mounted everything. - MJW

If you're going to fight, fight dirty. {Duanes' code of honor} - DVP

Panning for coal? - DGW

What's it going to attack with?
Oh, claws and stuff. - MJW/DVP

Where's the nearest terrain I know of? - MJW

Normally, mountains are littered with trees. - MJW

Why is the area around here woodless? - MJW

Mike, you're running hither, thither and yon.
Okay, I'll run for my terrain. - DVP/MJW

I'll beat you up you little kid. - TJK

That's a natural spring coming out of the pond. - MJW

How tall is that bush?
It looks really bushy. - DGW/DVP

And a quiver is a gizmo for holding arrows. - DVP

If they had normal armor class on I would have hit. - ?

How can I do a point of damage if I can't do a half-point? - DGW

Is there anything in his hand?
No, but there's bloodlust in his eyes. - MJW/DVP

Yeah, but we can't keep soaking up these clubs. - DGW

I'm armor class bracers. - DGW

Monks ought to have that - spiritual hand. - DGW

He beats his arm into submission. - DVP

A search and destroy mission? For our party it's more like a hunt and peck mission. - CLN

Which way are they coming?
Towards you direction. Whoops. - ?/DVP

You can see a long way. Forever and ever at least. - CLN

Cover everything up and show me the area we're in.
I don't give a fuck. - MJW/DVP

I don't know how he got a book to read. - MJW

The monk's good at killing people who are eating. - MOS

They party in plate. - MJW

You useless lump of monkhood! - CLN

You walk into a guardroom, complete with guards. - CLN

The wagons are charging you! - CLN

I'll find some fabric that'll make a nice thief shirt. - MJW

I almost had to stand upside down. - MOS

I had to beat up Greg to protect him. - MOS

Look who seats here. - DGW

You get to pickpocket some experience points. - MOS

What do you carry in your pockets?
Oh, I got some daggers, 50' of rope... - MJW/MOS

You hear rending, tearing, munching, and eating sounds. - CLN

Kinda' like a speargun launcher. - TJK

Is the fire going on? - MJW

I'm a door smith. - MJW

Why should I let you go?
Because we're made of wood. - CLN/MJW

What did you trip over?
My leadmen. - CLN/TJK

What's in the bag?
A handful of threats. - ?/DVP

Look at these orcs. They're all nicely neat. - MJW

Rip shit, tear ass. {after buttocks hit} - DVP

He hit you!
The orc you just killed. - TJK/DVP

I will have my bow out, my armor on, and my eyes lit up. - CLN

Draw me a tree. - MOS

Make a new leader and continue on. - CLN

I foof away, jump on my horse, and voom! - CLN

Clear line of shot. - DGW

I'm swinging with my morning star you refried bean. - MJW

You hear the sounds of marching, countless hordes. - DVP

Don't stick the butt by me. - MJW

It sped up from 4 inches to 3 inches. - MJW

That's not bad for a maximum monster. - CLN

What did you won? - DVP

Hide behind the lake. - MJW

They ditch foot man. - GDH

I have an 18/85 strength! I'm mister universe! I can pull a dagger out of a table! - MJW

Are you not doing anything Duane?
I don't know, it depends on what we're doing. - CLN/DVP

I stick one of my many wounds into the water. - MJW

You hear the splinter of a bar cracking. - CLN

You burst this body aside. - CLN

They only come in 1 to 100 groups. - MJW

Your eye was torn out. It hurts. - CLN

Thats how many hits I have to kill. - J?

Cure curious potion. - SWA

There's thick woodage that you can't go through. - MJW

There's some really thickee stuff. - MJW

Either it's you alone or these two don't go. - MJW

What are you throwing?
A light crossbow. - MJW/DVP

Wow, look at that! I punched her right into the next dimension! - DVP

A charm missile, right in the pituter. - MJW

Innocent bystanding people. - SGL

Fill 'em full of fletching! - DVP

Fumble yourself guy. - GDH

The last time someone drowned their waters filled with lung. - DGW

Fishee armor class. - MJW

How come whenever we went into a dungeon and we ran up against a mage all the paladins got cluster-fucked? - MAK

Stand up.
I can't. You tied me up like a ball of string. - MJW/DVP

That includes you Duane.
Yeah, I'm such a brave son of a bitch. - DGW/DVP

Big?! This place is pretty much huge!
It can't be that big. - DVP/MJW

Use your thief-like abilities and squeeze through the keyhole. - MJW

You're geographically lost. - CLN

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