This limerick was 100% Tillmanator created while dying of boredom on an endless 12 hour drive to Georgia:
A pet store employee named Blair
Was missing a small patch of hair.
A tarantula crawled
To the spot that was bald
And nobody noticed it there!
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This one was written by my husband... well the first four lines at least. I finished it off with the last line and a little help from my rhyming dictionary and the regular dictionary.
There once was a pirate whose leg
Was made from the cork in a keg.
When he swam in the sea
He'd upend at the knee
And scrape barnacles off of the skeg.
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This limerick is all mine also. David hated it but after a short dictionary battle, I was victorious and up it goes! : - )
A troglodyte venturing out
Was consumed by his worry and doubt.
He emerged from his grotto
While chanting this motto:
"No longer within, but without!"
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95% Tillmanator created at a gas station in south Georgia. I originally used the word 'dog' until my husband suggested Chihuahua:
There once was a woman named Yannish
Who vowed to eat food solely Spanish.
And though no one had heard
Of her breaking her word,
Chihuahuas occasionally vanish!
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100% Tillmanator created in the car. (Beware.... it's a thinking man's limerick.):
There once was a man from afar
Who bought a Flamenco guitar.
When he painted it pink,
It made others think
That his English was way below par!
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This one is 50-50 between David and me. We batted it back and forth for quite some time with only the part about the hyena but the rest came along soon enough.....in the car, of course.
An animal gang on the loose
Got caught while harassing a moose.
And the laughing hyena
Was forced by subpoena
To snitch on the weasel and goose.
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100% Tillmanator created with prompting from my Father-in-Law to write one about a cockroach while driving to Alabama:
A cockroach with too many eyes
Was embarrassed in front of the guys.
He hid from the masses
With Groucho Marx glasses
But it was not an effective disguise.
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This one is not my best effort, but a limerick nonetheless. David started me off with the first line and I scraped out the rest. We almost trashed it but just the thought of a near-sighted lemur entertained us.
There once was a near-sighted lemur
Who cooked up some rice in a steamer.
He fumbled around
And thought he had found
A spoon, but 'twas really a femur.
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The next limerick was a full group effort. I came up with the first and last lines, my Mother-in-Law did the second, and the middle two were done by my husband:
There once was a French chef named Tony
Whose gourmet credentials were phony.
While the menu would boast
Of his pate on toast,
It was really just cheese and baloney.
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This one was inspired by my friend Jim at Steak and Ale. The first line lay dormant for a couple of years until my husband and I finished it. The part about the monkeys was his idea. Good thing he was driving at the time. I was laughing so hard I would have run off the road!
There once was a keeper named Phil
Whose zoo was right next to a grill.
The monkeys would dwindle
With Phil's sneaky swindle,
And the city would pick up the bill.
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50% Tillmanator created. My husband did the middle two lines. Good thing he was driving again!
There once was a woman from France
Who kept a giraffe in her pants.
His neck was so long
It got caught in her thong
And his movements affected her stance.
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This is an old one and 100% Tillmanator created. It was inspired by my Father-in-Law's repeated attempts at making strange waffles for breakfast.
There once was a gourmet whose waffles
Were hard and incredibly awful.
He was using concrete
Instead of whole wheat.
His recipe should be unlawful.
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100% Tillmanator created in the car in the wee hours of the morning trying desperately to ward off boredom:
A bugler waking up camp
Used a microphone and a big amp.
He bugled so loud
That it upset the crowd,
But his instrument made a nice lamp!
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100% Tillmanator, as usual, in the car:
The fisherman, though a beginner
Saw himself as the contest's new winner.
But he made a mistake
And fell into the lake
And the piranhas took home a nice dinner!
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50% Tillmanator created. My Father-in-Law did the middle two lines and then I wrote the rest around it. Strange way to write a limerick!
There once was a sailor named Ray
Who wore an atrocious toupee.
He gave a big shrug
And then off flew his rug
And it sailed into Chesapeake Bay!
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Another group effort here. I wrote the middle two lines first and then my husband and his mother did the rest around it:
Joe serviced the pins with great care
'Til a rumbling caused him to stare.
He needed to duck
But his head was quite stuck,
And his false teeth helped pick up the spare.
We were all dying laughing when my husband first said the line about the false teeth!
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100% Tillmanator created. My Mother-in-Law was a little disgusted by this one:
There once was a baker named Jerry
Whose arms were incredibly hairy.
Occasionally you'd see
That his arms were hair-free.
When eating his bread, I'd be wary!
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100% Tillmanator:
There once was an athletic plate
Who thought playing baseball was great.
Everyday just at noon
He'd play catch with the spoon,
And the diner would sit there and wait.
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100% Tillmanator:
An astronaut fixing the Hubble
Chewed gum and got into some trouble.
He floated away
And his crew mates would say,
That he shouldn't have blown such a bubble.
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This limerick was actually created at the Mass Loony Limericks site. I did the last line and I either did the first or the second, also. I'm not too sure which.
There once was a man from Aruba
Who was trying to learn how to scuba.
He strapped on a tank
But the poor fellow sank,
And he ended up floating near Cuba.
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This limerick was written for a poetry competition whose theme was flying. I never entered it in the competition, but here it is anyway:
A passenger flying in style
Had been drinking for quite a long while.
She was up in row three
And she needed to pee,
But the food cart was blocking the aisle.
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These next three are originals by my Mommy! After seeing my site, she got inspired while ironing (or was it baking a pie) to compose limericks of her own. Actually both ironing and baking served as inspiration, I think!
There once was a fellow named Lear
Whose head was the shape of a sphere.
His desire, it was said
Was to stand on his head.
But he'd always end up on his rear!
A haughty young bull known as Clyde
Who had a magnificent hide,
Was bought, I am told
By a shoemaker bold.
Now everyone takes him in stride!
Mr. Franklin was flying his kite
In the middle of a dark stormy night.
"It's for science," he said
And he went on ahead.
Now he's generally thought of as bright!!!
Keep 'em coming, Mom! :-)
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