Marriage Peril
Marriage Peril
There's a little wildness left in all men.Read more.)
The trip wasn't a total loss. The morning we left in a rush I spotted Keith Jackson in the lobby of the Ahwahnee Hotel.Read more.)
Remember Silly Putty?(Read more.)
What if you're naked when Jesus comes back?(Read more.)
There's one sure way to add fashion anxiety to your day - accept an invitation to brunch with a Saudi prince.(Read more.)
Those stagnant people shuffling around the streets with the inert look? They aren't all homeless. Some of us are just on vacation. (Read more.)
I've been hanging around Hollywood lately. I'm not a wannabe, I'm a haveto. The woman I live with is one of them. She's the one that got me into this. (Read more.)
Dogs destroyed my marriage. Now they're threatening another relationship. My girlfriend wants a puppy. Here we go again. I've had to put my foot down. The last time I did that it doomed the marriage. (Read more.)
What happens when you find yourself in possession of wood that hasn't been deconsecrated? Do you take it back where you got it? Do you deconsecrate it yourself? Can you? Does it matter? What is un-deconsecrated wood, anyway? I don't have the answers. I only have the wood. I took it from a church. The next day my kitchen caught fire. It makes you wonder. (Read more.)
I experienced a punk rock concert the other night. It was my son's idea. He plays in one of the bands. It's probably my fault. I bought him the guitar. (Read more.)
Winter is here again. Damn. You know this because of the blankets. The electric blanket and storm comforter have come out of storage. You hope it will be different this year. Last winter you nearly froze to death. The blankets didn't help; they never do. They may as well be magic carpets. In the middle of the night they will disappear. But only from your side. (Read more.)
There is a phase early in a relationship, right after the kissing starts, when the female feels compelled to renovate certain features of the male. The women can't help it; it's caused by some maternal instinct. Wardrobes and hair are first. Usually it's harmless. The guy always needs the help. I did. I'm in aerospace. I looked like Newt Gingrich dressed me. (Read more.)
I knew if I lived long enough something like this would happen.  (Read more.)
There is a noise when I walk that is not my shoes. I followed this sound one morning recently down a featureless office corridor, looking for Carlos Garcia, MFCC. A few days earlier my supervisors had encouraged me to present myself at the company's Employee Assistance Program. It was their way of saying I had one more chance. I was in trouble again. (Read more.)
I only saw him once. (Read more.)
This isn't supposed to happen during dinner. This isn't supposed to ever happen. There's never a good time for a bump to appear on the top of your tongue. The other night I got one as sudden and as unwelcome as a speed bump. It wasn't from a bite. It just popped out all by itself. I knew immediately what it was. I've seen it in National Geographic. I fled from the table in a panic without excusing myself and raced for the bathroom mirror. Just as I feared. Pellagra. (Read more.)
Admit it. You hate Al Davis.  The bolemic little twerp first drove the Rams out of town then promptly departed back to Oakland with the Raiders, leaving Los Angeles in a football vacuum and  three million guys with no Sunday tailgate party.  (Read more.)
There are two ways to survive your mid-life crisis: avoid class reunions, and get rid of the bicycle. This is about the bicycle. No one listens to class reunion advice. (Read more.)
You can blame the woman I live with for the disappearance of the forests. She's responsible for the destruction of several trees every day. That's how many catalogs she gets in the mail. Hundreds of catalogs a year are delivered here. Our mail comes on a mule. (Read more.)