#57
early morning and
tired eyes of
too
much i love you
and too little else
today your hands could be
any shadow
any curtain of rain
soft and
tiptoe
across my cheeks
our steps
every
passing car
though
perhaps
i have failed you
and some detail forgot
no failsafe strength to
my three words
but i wish
oh
i wish on
every
star that i love you
could be enough
to win this
war
of early mornings
and
tired eyes
i walk thru the streets and half expect
to find you
in among stranger faces
your own
small and strange
so pale
you glow in the dark
black eyes heavy
i half expect you to not recognize me
as i walk by
nearly a foot taller to you
in boots
or perhaps
you would stop and look at me
our gaze
a hunger in the air
in my dreams
i would produce from
the pockets
of my big coat
snow
for you
and one hundred
perfect poems
each written perfectly in red ink
poems of how i loved you
and love you still
of how i was wrong
and how i ache for you
in my dreams
you take each one
and read it
each perfect poem
and you know
everything you always should have known
but months have gone by
and you were not in the
same part of town
the same elevator
or the same street corner as i
and then
you are there
in the dark
glowing
you sneak up on me
i dig thru my coat for
snow
chest heavy with air and embarrassment
but from the big pockets
comes only
an odd array of used movie tickets
the perfect poems
each entitled to the dearest lady door
are all gone
except for one
half perfect
wannabe poem
you read it
i watch you
you smile and say i know
the gaze between us
is a hunger in the air.
reading
i always like to look
under the
printed
cover of the book
look at the drab
grey
brown
navy
olive
canvas
the embossed title
hear it
grown and yawn under my
fingernails
fingernails
down my neck
reading
i always like you
tracing the curves of my jaw
collar bone
fit
fitting in fingers
in narrow crevices
only one finger at a time
long strokes
at the edge of my breast
side of my belly
hear me
growl and yawn under the
goosepimples
your fingers
leave behind
behind my shirt
reading
i always like to
dress
for you
my best
dressed
as a man
tailored
collar
cigarette and heavy steps
owning the chair
my biggest accomplishment
hearing you
growl and yawn under the
false presumption
there was something underneath
underneath my pen
reading
i always like to
look
at how my writing
has
taken on her "dās"
writing
trivial
notes
to you
forgetting
they will
end
up in
the garbage bin
your fingers
down my hips
spine
fingernails
with which
i
scratch the
yawn and growl
from prudish canvas
book bindings
[hungry] hunter
:i am:
for ivory skin
carn-
ivore; if you only let me
and you left me [alone: i was:]
your love branded to my chest
dangling silver
between my breasts
but [no; more is ever enough]
eyes were hungry yet
for another taste
innocent;
hands so restless
when i
reach [deeper;] to sate
[and: this drug i need to take]
every promise: i: forsake
[deliberate so in my-]
and darling;
i swam yearning to this shore
:i am: hunting [-still-]
tonight;
anymore
teacher [taught to her]
:i am: from
your passionās hand
handed to anotherās
fist over
fist and lips
[hunter] hungry for anotherās ivory kiss;
[ring]: i am
wringing my hands of this
pilateās curse
innocent [innocent] let me be
not stones to ca-
tch in these fingers of flesh
taste [pure]
chaste; and warm
sweet innocent blush;
but i will not be tame for you
born lion hungry
where winds whisper my name
and
catch
me above my grave
became
enough to steal
from you: this prize[d];
insatiable strength,
arch
heights i reach: prize just out of
reach
reach;
for me
darling
so many lies these hands could teach
our love [now]
secret
and so passed around;
mouth to mouth
hand over breath
falling fast[er]
:as i: miss the ground
hunter hungry prowl[ing]
through the streets
strangerās sheets
my will: i: put to test
strength of these hands can wrest
branded
branded; no
[your love sizzling scars acros-]
atop my chest; yours
[stolen] night wound
around my innocent fist
anticipate
the conquest of what
my [hungry] hunter eye
did resist
door opening
backwards outside the room
walls lit
hate filled
replaces love
this time
my lips outside yours
my flesh
in yours
hands just a little
bigger
a little balance
to fill you
blind
feel my touch
from the outside
a little balance
keeping the ringing
phone against my chest
white night
fingers over your breast
inside you
cocked
tease
inside you
a little balance
feel me once
inside you
fill you
tease
torn
raw
a little balance
to fill you
the two of you
love
EVA JAGODZINSKA is a student at the University of California in Santa Cruz, where she studies Art History, Film Theory, and Creative Writing. Her work has appeared at Electric Acorn, the Art of Poetry and eclectricity. Her ever-changing personal website can be found at: http://www.spilitmilk.url4life.com
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