Archeologists excited about historical implications

Archeologists have been stupefied by evidence of a bizarre "Wasp Cult" among an isolated tribe of early proto-humans. For the past several years, archeological teams digging in the area have been retrieving artifacts indicating an obsession with the wasp that can only be described as "strange." Dr. Heinz Koffman, archeologist and team leader who discovered the site, reported that artifacts such as wasp-head masks, ornamental wings, and even a small wasp-shaped doll figure have surfaced.

It is not unusual for small tribes to develop this cultish behavior, but usually they develop slowly over hundreds of years. The sudden intensity and strength with which this Wasp Cult developed is unprecedented. Dr. Koffman explains that the wide range of evidence indicates the tribe had a sudden shift from typical hunter-gatherer to cult way of life. Until now, there has been no explanation for such a shift.

Adding to the mystery is the fact that the isolated proto-humans appeared to evolve very quickly, inventing tools and fire much earlier than other hunter-gatherer groups. But archeological evidence shows that with the proliferation of the Wasp Cult, the tribe appeared to enter evolutionary stagnation. "In fact," states Dr. Koffman, "we think they got stupider. We have excavated several bodies who appeared to have tried to jump from the cliff with fiber wings strapped to their backs. It's possible the entire tribe extincted themselves."

With a discovery that will surely rock archeology to its core, Dr. Koffman has released information about his most recent find. A team member located a small cave which seems to be a sort of shrine for the Wasp deity. The most amazing find was the discovery of what appears to be a metal robot Wasp head and arm holding what appears to be some sort of gun, amongst other scattered metal bits. It is not clear how the deity was destroyed, but it was obviously very sudden, violent, and explosive. The discovery is hopefully the key to understanding the mystery of the Wasp cultists.

The team member who made the discovery, reported that the Wasp head said, "Doink!" when the flashlight was shined on it, but further examination has revealed no further vocal capacity.

Additionally, wall paintings of the Wasp deity in flight were discovered nearby. "We are very excited about this find," says Dr. Koffman. "It has truly unlocked one of the great mysteries of our time. But I think it's safe to say that the Wasp Cult was very short lived, although it burned brightly. It's unlikely that these early proto-humans ever contributed to the evolutionary gene pool, and for that we can be thankful."

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