Divide and Conquer
by Philip Blattenberger

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Tae Kwon Do Detectives I

Tae Kwon Do Detectives II

Tae Kwon Do Detectives III

  Tae Kwon Do Detectives I

Film-making is one of my more unusual hobbies. The idea of creating movies actually began sometime in 1998, while our family was living in Colorado Springs, Colorado. For the first time, we watched "The Karate Kid". When we watched it, something clicked inside me. At the time, I was an orange belt in Shoto-kan karate, so I was interested in martial arts. Shortly after that, I saw Sidekicks, a Chuck Norris movie. I liked it, too. After watching several fight scenes from Jackie Chan movies, I decided a movie would be a neat thing to do. Something got in the way, initially. Early in 1999, days after my sister and I received our green belts, we moved to Ohio.

We stayed in a suite in Cincinnati while we house-hunted. My sister, Sally, and I got pretty bored while we were there. So one evening, when there was nothing on TV, we walked around the three-story complex, exploring hallways and elevators. While doing so, we began exploring the possibility of creating a film. We even began practicing parts of the fight scenes while we were there, using our Shoto-kan one-steps as a reference. Then we came up with a movie plot that, at the time, seemed pretty cool. It went something like this:

OPENING SCENE: Main Characters walking home from school. They walk along sidewalk. Then, simultaneously, they turn, look at each other, and yell, "Our jackets!" Then they turn around and run back the way they came, to find the jackets they left at school. They reach school, and while there, overhear  a plot to rob the local bank. The bad guys catch them eavesdropping, then tie them up. The two kids manage to get untied, then lie in wait for the criminals.  What followed was supposed to be impressive. The two kids would slowly eliminate the bad guys; they'd leap out of closets to make a quick, stealthy knockouts, or nail the bad guys with karate chops to the shoulder. We estimated the length: slightly over ten minutes. Not exactly a feature length blockbuster, to say the least. We never did get started on that version. In early March of that year, we started Tae Kwon Do in the area and forgot about the idea. After many months of hard work, we received our high green belts, then blue. Very shortly after our successful test for high blue belt, the idea of making our movie re-surfaced. We planned for a while, coming up with a different plot entirely (but keeping the main character names). They were Michael and Katie Waters. The movie was originally going to be called The Shoto-kan Kids, but then we changed its name to Tae Kwon Do Detectives.

On November 15, of the year 1999, Tae Kwon Do Detectives officially began.

Michael and Katie Waters are walking home from school when they realize they left their jackets at school. They run back, and in the school corridors, hear a plan going on. They hear bad guys talking about robbing a bank, but suddenly the door opens and the two are yanked inside. They wake up bound with a thick rope. Somehow, they escape from the bad guys, after beating a few of them up. (The Waters kids are 3rd degree black belts). They make an escape, and later talk about it. Katie Waters, during their escape from the house, found a penny with a big fingerprint on it. The Waters kids somehow manage to get fingerprints from members of the gang, using ingenious methods. Once they have matched a fingerprint, with a thug named Jason Teemer, they knock out two of the other gang members. They use their clothes and pose as the two, listening in on a meeting. But the bad guys wake up and burst in. The Waters kids barely make it out. The next day, Tanyer Hyde, one of the thugs, manages to capture the Waters kids at knife point. They tie them up again, but the two detectives escape once more. This time, they beat every last gang member in hand to hand combat. After the impressive fight scene finale, the Waters kids leave. The gang gets captured by the police, and justice is served once again.

Yes, it was a weird movie. It ended on December 16th, 1999. We were proud of it.

Tae Kwon Do Detectives II

TKDD II is the sequel to TKDD I.

Butch Forbes and Jason Teemer escape from the county jail. They plot to get revenge on Michael and Katie Waters for sending them to jail in the first place. They start by kidnapping what appears to be an innocent bystander. The Waters kids investigate, and are drawn into another mystery. The two sneak into the Waters' kids home and kidnap them. The Waters kids are dumped into a basement and left. Meanwhile, Fatso Racks and Tanyer Hyde escape from the same prison. They join forces with the other two. Michael and Katie escape, but are soon captured again. They escape and beat up more bad guys on the way. Finally, the bad guys sneak into their home, beat them up, and drag them away. While in captivity in a storage closet, they find a roll of money. It belongs to "The Boss". The bad guys, meanwhile, reveal their plan to steal a load of jewelry at the local jewelry shop. The Waters kids bust out again, but this time are raided after they get home. Somehow, the Waters kids manage to use their knowledge of the martial arts to defeat their enemies. Jason Teemer, Tanyer Hyde, Butch Forbes, Fatso Racks, Nasoj Eromhsur, and Derek Peters are put away for good. But at the end of the movie, the mysterious figure referred to as the boss vows revenge...

We finished the movie in late 2000. IT was a smashing success (with us).

Tae Kwon Do Detectives IV

The Waters kids are back, in their third movie, the completion of the trilogy! The Boss, who vowed revenge in the last movie, has hired two kids to work for him. Their job: befriend the Waters kids, and then nail them when they aren't expecting it. The three set up a fake mugging in front of the Waters kids. Michael and Katie come flying to the rescue just in time, bloodying the Boss's nose and sending him running for his life. Peter and Sarah, who acted like goofs, hurry off...put they're not quite as wacky as they seemed. As soon as they're out of sight of Michael and Katie, the two look around, acting like escaped convicts. Then they run off to Boss's hideout. There, the Boss introduces them to the other main crime lords. A.J. Racks, Fatso Racks' father, is one of them. The other is the quirky, groovin' - 60's - peacenik - attired Bill Clint, otherwise known as "Hipp". They all watch as Peter and Sarah demonstrate their deadly fighting techniques, with sais, nunchuku, and empty-hand katas. The Boss, impressed, sends them to capture the Waters kids. But that's easier said than done. The Waters kids turn the tables on their attackers, beating them good. But Peter pulls a large handgun, and the Waters kids have no choice but to comply. The bad guys tie them up back at the hideout.

The Waters kids wake up hours later, and using ingenious methods, escape. After disarming a powerful bomb and taking a guard out of commission, they find a passageway. It leads to an attack.........where the bosses are having their meeting. They are planning to rob the local museum of its latest addition - a load of valuable gold and silver coins! Michael knocks over a stack of junk a moment later, and they hurry off. The three bosses hear and attack, with darts, huge meat cleavers, and a huge heavy cart. The Waters kids beat them back and escape. Then the Boss reports to his only senior: a figure known as "The Parr". The Parr is enraged at the escape. He orders them to raid the museum that same night so they can skip town the next day. Agreeing, the Boss hurries out. He and Bill Clint sneak into the museum, cut the cables to a security camera, eliminate (temporarily) a guard, and leave with the jewelry. As they exit the place, Bill Clint spots Katie Waters taking pictures with a camera. Boss plans to go after them, but then the staccato rip of a machine gun pierces the silent night. The two hurry off. They report to the Parr, with the coins. The Parr is pleased until he learns that the Waters kids have proof of their heist. He sends the entire crew of thugs to eliminate them. In the ensuing battle, the Waters kids take on bad guy after bad guy. The emerge victorious, but then the Boss escapes. In the movie's finale, they follow him to the headquarters, knock him out, and then face off with the Parr. In the surprising end, the Parr knocks himself out!

That was the last movie we did. It ended on November 19th, 2001.

Those are our three movies. Neither are for sale, although I will be posting pictured from the movies. I'll update this page if we ever do a second movie. The amazing thing about those movies was, all those characters were played by only two characters: myself and my sister, Sally! Pure ingenuity.


 

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