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ACTORS' JOURNAL Here's where students, working actors, around the country share their professional experiences, from audition to rehearsal to performance to paying bills. They talk about how we all live and work in our Art/Business. Now you can compare notes. |
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I did an independent film shoot yesterday...and was able to apply many of the techniques we have learned from you such as answering the questions in the Six Steps and putting the character into action. Wow, what a difference it made. Up to this point I have been able to apply the bits and pieces I had been learning. This time I was able to incorporate what we have been learning much more fully. All that folding laundry, talking on the phone and looking for things made the process much more automatic and natural. Just like working on dance technique. I know there is more to learn, but what I have learned and practiced so far has been immensely helpful...I was able to be repeatable without being static, discovering more aspects to the character and the scene the more takes we did, finding the actions of cooking, greeting, etc. akin to folding laundry (same principles, different task) and allowing the character to be continually in the moment. Some takes were stronger than others, but every take breathed and was real on some level. At the end of the day, I found that attempting and often accomplishing truth was a far more gratifying process than others (techniques) I have tried. It was also more tiring (maybe because I am still relatively new to this), but so much more rewarding in the process and the result that I ended up having a blast! |
Francie Meyer - Denver, CO
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Dave Caprita - Los Angeles Could have been a disaster, a lesson well learned. I went on an audition for the new show "Robbery Homicide" which premieres soon on CBS. It was a Friday afternoon. I work at Premiere Radio and XM Satellite, mainly on the weekends and overnights and afternoons, so this was the last time before working almost the entire weekend that I could have some fun. I went to the Casting Director's office in Santa Monica. I stood in front of the camera and was ready to read to the CD's assistant when she realized she had the "old" sides for my character. No problem. Gave me a chance to prepare a little more. When she returned, I did my thing and went home to get ready for my grueling overnight hours at work. Monday. After barely sleeping over the weekend, I got a call. They liked me. But they wanted me to audition for another part: the sleazy owner of an Internet Sex Company. Cool! I went back that Monday evening and got ready to read the sides I received from Showfax. Once again, same sweet CD assistant. We get ready to read. She has the wrong sides. No problem, except THIS time, it was a completely different scene with the same character with a nice, long speech in the middle of it. Nice little curveball. They saw a couple people ahead of me, so at least I could have a decent cold read. I went in and thought, "what the hell, it won't hurt to ask". I asked them if, in addition to this super cold read, I could tape the one that I had memorized and worked on. They were very cool and said "sure". LESSON ONE: Doesn't hurt to ask! I think this got me the part because even though I thought I did a fine cold read with the new sides they gave me, I really shined in the one I had worked on. PLUS, they ran out of tape before we began and had to change videocassettes, giving me several more minutes to work both scenes with the CD assistant. Mind you, they were very apologetic for the delay, so the power ball was in my court. And after we were through, (we had been holding up the other actors waiting to audition for about fifteen minutes by this time) they asked if I wanted to do it again! Who'da thunk it? So, we did BOTH scenes again. Okay. LESSON TWO: I didn't know when they were going to shoot this. I ASSUMED it was going to be later in the week. I had to work overnight again that night. So, I went to work at two am later that night and was back in bed at eight am. I HAD to get some sleep. It had been days since I had a good seven or eight hours of real rest. I put the phones in the other room, plugged up my ears (noisy neighborhood) and passed out. One o'clock that Tuesday afternoon, my messages were flashing. I checked my messages and much to my horror, there were FOUR messages on my home phone, FOUR messages on my cell phone and even THREE messages on my girlfriend's message service. They had been looking for me since ten thirty that morning. As I listened to each message, my heart sank deeper and deeper. On the first message, my agent (who is one of the most understanding, laid back agents I've ever known) told me, "Dave! You got the part. Michael Mann really liked you, but they want you on the set in the NEXT HOUR. Please call back. Second message, "Dave, we really need to hear from you NOW. They want you on the set now and if you don't respond in the next ten to fifteen minutes, they're going to go with their second choice." (Heart sinking deeper.) Third message, "Dave, the casting director is reluctantly going for the second choice if you don't call in the next FIVE minutes." I I figured I had blown this one. I depressingly listened to the last message. "Dave, Michael Mann refuses to use anybody else for this character. He's angry. He wants to know why an LA actor he wanted is not available. Please call now." As I returned the call to my agent, (by the way, I also received a message on my cell directly from the CD, who is also a Zen sweetheart. If not for the cool attitude of these people, I would have been dumped). I knew this would be a day I would never forget, positive and negative. After letting them know I was alive (this was the main concern of my agent, I found out later), I hauled a** to wardrobe, hauled a** to downtown LA, got stuck in traffic, instead of freaking out, I used the time to learn lines that I wasn't even sure I was going to say and finally got to the set around three thirty that afternoon. As soon as I arrived and told them who I was, the response was, each time - "oh. OH! Yes! get over here!" I was rushed from one end of the set to the other to get make up, to put my stuff up and to haul a** upstairs to get ready to shoot the scene they had put on hold. Meanwhile, I'm looking for sides because I'm not even sure which scene we're shooting! A grip gave me his "little script" he had in his back pocket. Sure enough, it was the scene I had auditioned for, but it had been radically changed. So, as I'm going to the room where they're setting up the set, I'm furiously memorizing stuff, a la Meisner. (Don't tell me all those rush memorizations I did in class didn't help!) We shoot the scene once. They decide it's too wordy. They cut out some lines, add others. Great. TIme to memorize again. No problem, keep your cool, you're a professional. Right. I felt like I was having one of those actor dreams where you're about to go onstage in a play and someone comes up and says, "By the way, we're not doing Hamlet tonight, we're doing Richard the Third. Good luck!" " Okay. Everybody, first position!" I'm stuffing these lines into my brain like a fat man at a pie eating contest. we shoot it again. the director, (not Mann: he was in the other room shooting a sex booth scene) told me "you're doing it to the whole room (full of extras) it's a little too broad. just lay back, say the lines to the actor and you've got it." Jeez. It's been literally months since I've done this. Am I that bad? Just let it go. Let it go. Before we shoot again, here comes THE MANN. He doesn't even introduce himself but I know it's him. He was watching on the monitor in the other room. He tells me words I'll never forget. "Look, just do it, don't push it to everybody in the room. Just say the lines and let it go. Otherwise, if you''re going to do it that way, WHAT ARE WE ALL HERE FOR? Okay? okay. let's shoot!" "...If you're going to do it that way, what are we all here for?..." Couldn't have put it any more bluntly. I've just been nailed by Mann himself and I have FIVE seconds to do what he says, I'm ready to walk into the roomful of extras and do it again. This time I let go. I tell myself, you know what this is about, you know the relationship, you know what to say (almost) now just throw it all away! Which I did. And it turned out all right. The other actors loved it. I got some slaps on the back. Dave Cubitt was great. He told me after it was over, "you got thrown some curve balls there." And they told me that's the way mann works. It's very hectic on the scene because they've got to get it done yesterday. Most hectic set I've been on since I started doing this years ago. I didn't even get the setups for the day or the contracts when I arrived because it was so rush, rush. When Mann sees somebody he likes, somebody who has the look he's looking for, he wants it and won't take no for an answer. When I told Cubitt and the other actors I had auditioned for the part just the night before, they all laughed and said, "that's Michael." So, it turned out great. Most of the guys on the set had worked with Michael before who is notorious for using the same people again and again. So, who knows. Maybe the gods were looking out for me that day. Nix that. The gods were looking out for me that day. The next day I went to the casting director's and my agent's and dropped off some beautiful flowers thanking them for the stress I'd inadvertently put them through. Or, I think we put all this stuff in front of us in some subliminally deliberate way. As I brought the flowers in, I was hoping I didn't look like some manipulative little schmuck. I sneaked out of her office, trying to exit before I heard her say something like, "Who are these from? Caprita? Get 'em outta here!" But as I was walking back to my car, trying to make a quick getaway, I heard, "Caprita! David Caprita!" They were calling me back and there was Alison McBride, the CD, reaching out to hug me and telling me thank you and "I'm so glad you're all right! I heard it went well. And Michael appreciated the fact that you were up all night editing because that's what he does too!" Wow! He saw me as a twenty four hour, working his a** off type of guy like he was! She was totally concerned about me and was not angry. Just the opposite. She was glad everything worked out well and that I had gotten to do the part. Did I dodge a bullet on this one or what? What did I learn? I don't care if I haven't slept in a month. I sleep now with three phones sitting next to me, damn the telemarketers and wrong numbers that inevitably wake me up after working all night. Now that things are starting to pick up for me in acting and voice work, screw sleep. It's just too crazy out here. You never know when somebody's going to call you at the last minute. So, I share this embarrassing and potentially disastrous episode with you to either learn from or shake your head and say, "what an idiot". The Universe is with us, even when we aren't with us. |
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Just to give you a quick update on what I have been doing. Shooting the movie at night and I have booked a couple of commercials during the days. So I have been really busy which is wonderful. I have learned a lot since being in FL. Between you and I it is this. It is not the quantity of work but most definitely the quality of work. The commercials I have booked allowed me to do the film. Money unfortunately is a must. But it seems to come when I need it. Be assured that even though I am not physically there in your Tuesday night classes I am still studying possibly harder then ever! No, not possibly but definitely harder. Something you had told me is resonating to this day and will be with me always "You are your own teacher." Never has someone said such words that would effect me like those 5 words have. To me it made me strive harder, dig deeper and look into my soul. Go with my instincts because they will never let me down. Boy, it was hard to trust myself but I have. I have found truth in myself and it never leaves me. Not once in my acting has it left me. I am starting to read Shakespeare this weekend and I cannot wait!!! I am like a kid in a candy store. Wide eyed and running as fast as I can!!!! THANK YOU. I have been studying every night with Uta Hagen. The more I study the more I find out about truth in myself thus leading to truth in acting. I just finished watching a PBS special on Gregory Peck. He had said something so profound and of course I had to write it in my acting book the same one I have the notes on your class. He said he would like to be remembered as: "A Great Story Teller. Tthat is the Actors job. We have a story on paper and we need to convey it to the audience. We are story tellers. Let people see inside you the real you." What I took from what he was telling us is Take the Mask OFF!!!!!! Don't put it on!!! That is what you have been saying. You have to be you and that was hard to understand at first. Now I have it!!!!!!! Be truthful with yourself first and sometimes it's a hard process but a necessary one at that. I must say it is a freeing feeling that I have now. It's close to impossible to explain to someone how I feel if they haven't done the process of letting go of all of the airs we put on for people and all of the different hats we put on so that people will like us. Now it's just me saying, as you would put it in your Tuesday night class having us look in the mirror, "This is me and here I am like it or not". I wanted you to know that all of your hard work has done it's job in helping me further my career. Your words are infinite to students like me. Please never silence them. Thank You. |
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Rushing around as usual here in a city that offers bountiful creativity and endless opportunities and challenges. Days here in LA are a 2/3 shorter than in Miami. It's a fact. The Caribbean waters quiet that beautiful city down while the Pacific ruthlessly demands more and more from the people of the West. Nevertheless, I had been thinking about writing to you and sharing with you my experience after your LA workshop. I received your email today about yoga and I was so amazed at your psychic energy and perfect timing. Just this week, I started my yoga practice again, after a 10 months hiatus. I realized all my acting workshops spoke about the importance of breathing. I learned acting is the art that balances the performance of mind, body, emotions and thoughts channeled and portrayed into a character that we give life. The basics of life is breathing. So in my search for balance (inner and outer), and for attaining consciousness in my basic human life propeller, breathing, I returned to yoga. Like I said, just this week!! I am feeling great. Just one week and I am more focused, more present, more aware, (even leaner and stronger!!) and taking better care of my food choices and water intake. Anyway, the story about my post-Durso's-ActTrue LA-workshop experience: After six months of being in LA with commercial representation and dreading my inevitable search for a theatrical agent, I had a meeting with an agency that wanted to expand their Latino clientele. The meeting... "...bla, bla, bla... What have you done... Resume examination... Credentials... Special Skills... horseback riding, motorbike riding, martial arts... bla, bla, bla..." All great and fine but despite any Agent's great impressions of an actor, the dough is what really counts. So he handed me an excerpt from a play, a 1 page monologue, and tells me to take 5 min and return for the test. Your ActTrue LA workshop had finished 3 days prior to my meeting and I still had everything fresh and alive in my blood system. So many of your teachings that I had adopted as mine during the workshop came to my aid. From not clinging to the words but to what the script was about, the meaning, the feeling; to visualizing and SEEING what I was talking about; to being in the moment, the moment to moment... I came back and left the book on the desk. Agent was like "what... uh... you didn't have to memorize it". - "I didn't", I told him. And I hadn't, although all the words were in my mind, they were just there because the scene was all there, not because I tried to think of the words. I did the monologue (even added a cowgirl accent, since the scene took place in Texas). Once I finished, the agent offered me a 3 year contract right there on the spot. So that's the story. I ended up taking my time to "shop around" and didn't sign up with them but the experience left me with a deep sense of self-confidence and control. I had turned my fears into accomplishable possibilities. |
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Well I will tell you one thing. I really never new how they booked commercials until now...When I walk in with the attitude of ok here I am, take it or leave it, this is me, (as you taught us in class) I do so much better!!!!! For some reason on Wednesday I put too much importance on the audition because it was SAG. WHY? Instead of doing my job of Acting,I failed. In my heart I've found the answer and it is: Just Do it. Just Act. That's all there is to it. Just Act and the rest will come. What a lesson I have learned. |
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A few weeks after moving to Los Angeles this Spring, I was very fortunate to book a part in a short film. It was a two day shoot for me, and my character was a mutant that attacked humans on a spaceship. I did not have any dialogue, and I soon found out why (of course there were union reasons also). I arrived at the sound stage at 7am, met the crew, and was brought into the makeup room. I knew, in advance, that I would be wearing special effects makeup. An artist was assigned to me, I sat in the chair, and they got to work. This is when I began to realize the extent of what I would be dealing with. I had gel prosthetics glued to my face, then carefully painted over. This work was also done on my neck and hands. Finally came the mouthpiece. My mouth was covered over (I was allowed a final sip of water until lunch break), and I could only breathe through two tiny holes for my nose. Wow, this took over three hours to do. Images of Jim Carrey as Grinch came to me, and I thought that the $20 million probably helped. I was then brought into wardrobe, where green slime was put into my hair and all over clothes. It was cold and very wet. Then began the "hurry up and wait", and our only way of communicating was by writing or hand signals. For lunch, our mouth pieces were taken off, and we worked through the afternoon and evening. After wrapping for the day, it was time to take off the makeup, which took almost as much time as putting it on. I arrived home and went to bed with glue remaining on my face and hands, woke up the next morning, and did it again. The second day, we had small slits cut so that we could drink water through straws. Overall, the experience was first rate, I could have never imagined what working under that kind of makeup would be like. It was easy to be an angry mutant... |
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My character had many levels. Levels that I, as Pat, never experienced... ie; alcoholism/Gulf War Syndrome. The two things that helped me immensely were my Changes of Self and my living from Moment to Moment. My first week in town I studied how the local fishermen, blue collar workers, dressed. I then looked at what the wardrobe department had fitted for me. I made a few minor changes in clothing but they were major changes in my attitude. I put on my new wardrobe and felt like I fit in. Anytime I saw a man in my line of work, I felt connected to him. I felt as if I had lived in this town my whole life. I felt the caluses that were on my hands from years of pulling rope and net. I played openly with smelly fish so the stench in my jacket become natural and welcomed to me. I took pride in knowing that the local people didn't know if I was an actor or not. But more importantly, I felt I wasn't an actor. There was also a time when I wore my Marine blues. The pride in me was oozing out once I put them on. I WAS a Marine. In a parade scene, I felt the rush of blood to my face knowing how powerful and impressive I looked as I walked by the cheering townspeople. I never thought I was Pat. I kept thinking how proud I was be be a US soldier. As for the Moment to Moment, the script was changing every day. They gave me layers that I didn't know I had so the story would flow better. No matter what they wrote for me, I looked at the task at hand. What was my need at that moment? Since a lot of this was improvised, the beauty of truly living in the moment came out. I didn't know how the other actors were going to react so I was able to give free rein to my emotional and psychological experiences. |
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Deanna Wright - (Kay Bennet) PASSIONS NBC TV, Los Angeles I just wanted to share one of my experiences with all of you. As you probably know, I've been in L.A. since August working on PASSIONS (NBC), and I attribute most of my success in the role to what I learned while studying with you. One story in particular I thought you would appreciate: I had my first "love scene" about a month ago. ...I was so nervous, I was having an extremely hard time with the dialogue. ... I asked for a few minutes to regain control of the situation. I went behind the set and started doing the exercises we used to do at the beginning of each class..."roll down the spine to a count of sixteen, up the spine to a count of sixteen, roll down the spine to a count of eight, roll up the spine to a count of eight", all the while concentrating on my breathing. I could physically feel myself relaxing. Then I went through the Uta Hagen questions...you know, the list that begins with Who Am I? I brought myself back into the scene, then took another deep breath and went back on the set. I WAS Kay Bennett. We did the whole scene in one take, with out a single mistake. I wanted to share this with you and your class. Just in case any of them are wondering what the exercises have to do with acting, and if learning the exercises will actually benefit them as actors (I know I wondered that!!!), from my own experience, they do benefit you as an actor. Thank you, Marc for everything you taught me. It has helped tremendously! Every actor needs his or her tools, thank you for giving them to me and teaching me how to use them! |
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I had a breakthrough in identifying "Truth" and "Untruth" on the set of a corporate video shoot, in the principal role of a telemarketer for ATT. The challenges for me were to type at a computer terminal (and I am not a typist), carry on a phone conversation on a headphone in profile to the camera, and slowly turn to the lens while conversing for a close up. There were no lines, no sound, just the ACTION. Sounds simple enough. I warmed up using the techniques you taught (Linklater Voice process), asked myself the Hagen questions, and proceeded to do such a truthful performance that the client reps and advertising execs were extremely happy. Then the monster of self-consciousness reared its ugly head. On the next take I knew everyone gathered around the monitor had expectations. My focus and concentration were interrupted. The obvious result was "UNTRUTH". I felt it and more importantly everyone watching did too. We all stopped and grimaced at one another. "That was terrible!", I blurted out. Fortunately, everyone laughed. I asked for a private moment did some deep breathing and proceeded to finish the job successfully. Why do I consider this a breakthrough? 1.Because I felt the difference so clearly in the moment 2. The audience sensed the truth/untruth of a performance. Thanks for all you've taught and inspired in me in just one weekend workshop. |
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Today's shoot was alot of fun, although exhausting! It was for Sun Cruz, and we went out on the daylong cruise. We started working immediately, checking wardrobe, setting up shots and didn't finish until about 45 minutes before we pulled back in port (about 4:30). It was very natural for me to be animated, excited and inquisitive. But I actually had the opportunity to learn alot about the gambling games, (I don't do anything beyond family card games and bingo with Mom) and to just OBSERVE people...different behaviors, facial expressions, body language,etc. I actually saw them thinking! Of course I couldn't help but think back to the Hagen exercises and see them unfold before my eyes! I even tried to "step out" of myself and observe my own behaviors. I kinda felt like I was back in class again. I realized what an opportunity each of us a actors has, that we can (once we are AWARE) learn new things about ourselves and the world around us, just by being AWARE. Incredible I tell you. The other 4 people on the shoot (2 men and 2 women) were absolutely wonderful. All of us different, all from different backgrounds, each SHARING THEIR KNOWLEDGE with each other. I have to say it was a pleasure to do a shoot with a professional group of actors who were working as a team and not just glorifying themselves. So many times actors don't realize that it's the whole unit that makes a success and not just one element of it. Anyway, we had great energy together and eached freely shared with each other. I know that every one of us came away with new knowledge. I wish it could be that way all the time. The old people really got to me though. They were seemingly so frail, cute and innocent...when in fact they were shrewd, very knowledgable and knew exactly how to get what they wanted from whomever they wanted it from. Watching them was amazing! The seas were very rough and many people were ill, I was fortunate, I was able to hold my "cookies" but how hard to be excited, energetic, etc, when all you want is the nearest ladies room! That's where stepping out of yourself comes in real handy. I felt like a professional :) What a great feeling! I hope we all get to a point where we know who we are and what we have to offer and wear it proudly on our sleeves. |
Cookie Colletti - Miami, Florida***
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I recently wrapped on a film in which I was cast as the lead at the last minute. I received the script the day before shooting started. I committed to learning my lines and being in the moment. That was all I could do, and it brought my craft to it's most simple level. I would have loved to have had the time to study my character... break down each scene into little pieces. Instead, I chose an action for each scene and went for it. I did call Marc for some advice on the nude scene I had to do (control of the work environment, wardrobe protocol, request for closed set, establishing working relationship with director/co-star, story board/camera shots, one's body as an artistic tool, Subsitution/Imagery to aid focus under stress, character's objectives/actions). We talked about what I could expect, and I went into that day of shooting more at ease... I discussed how the scenes would be shot with the director, camera angles, close ups, etc. Once the lighting was set, he closed the set, meaning everyone left except the cameraman and director, and us. I wore a robe until it was necessary to take it off and kept it close by. We had to be nude for the shots, yet not "everything" will be seen on camera. I was able to see what things looked like on the monitor so I knew what they were shooting. These kinds of scenes look great, yet are very technical when filming, so put your nerves away if you ever have to approach this kind of work. I am thankful that I had the chance to talk to Marc and prepare myself. Also, make sure your lighting is good. |
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I had an audition for a play and they wanted 1 minute monologue. I heard conflicting things regarding what a director wants. Well I remembered you said we are our best teachers. So I went with my instincts. They were correct. I got asked to stay to read for the play. I practiced my Linklater voice process and went in with such confidence. You do the job well!!!!!! There were people walking in the room where there sat 10 people wanting to see what you had to offer. And when some people emerged they looked upset and then some looked great!!! Like myself. I did Chapter 2 by Neil Simon. I saw George and our relationship and I had my conflict within myself and I saw him not responding to what I was saying so my action immediately changed to another as we do in life. What a high!!!! I will hear something this week if I get it and if not I learned a lot. I will tell you that also. I have to say it again. I LEARNED A LOT by this call back. What I need to work on. Thanks for everything. |
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Today's rehearsal was one of those that leave you thinking you may want to put a little more effort into your day job. Half of the rehearsal was a photo call, with flashing cameras, and stop and start like nobody's business. The one plus: the actual set pieces (minus the piano, a key item for my character) were on the stage. And so we slogged through the rehearsal in costumes we may or may not ultimately wear for the show, trudging through the scenes, and I, desperately trying to keep focus, usually answered the question, "What do you want?", with "I want this to end!" But just as there are good rehearsals, the pendulum must swing the other way sometimes, and this was one of those occasions. But I did have a wonderful conversation with the director about my character, and a direction she'd like me to try to see how it works. It's a minor adjustment, but it does affect one of Ms Hagen's questions: "Who am I?" In our initial discussions, Simon, my character, is a cartoonist/caricaturist, and his work is seen on the walls of the room in which the play takes place. She's decided that she'd like to see Simon as a m ore serious artist, perhaps doing figurative or landscape art. Okay. Now what? Back to Who am I? Not Simon, but me, the actor. Like many actors, I have serious artistic aspirations. I really don't want to be the class clown, or to be the "movie star". I want to do the great roles, and be taken seriously as an artist. Next question: What do I do to get what I want? Again, me, not the character. I do Ms. Hagen's object exercises for myself, and my own observation. I read every technique book I feel will help me. I take classes in relaxation/release techniques so that I can be more aware of my own body, and of the tensions I hold, and how to use these to my advantage, I do daily voice exercises from Linklater and Rodenberg. In all, I do everything I think will lead to my doing serious roles. How does this apply to the role I'm playing in "Hay Fever"? It's the same aspiration, just different media. I want to be a serious actor; Simon wants to be a serious artist in charcoal and oil paints. This realization that I can FIND myself in this role is thrilling. Now, my want/need is BASED IN MY OWN REALITY, and I can now relax and find myself in the situations presented by the text. Even a "bad" rehearsal has bright points, if you look deep enough. |
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After working in film before my studies, I was cast in my first full production play, "Charley's Aunt", after moving here to Phoenix from New York. 8/22/01 I had studied with Marc in Florida and he encouraged me to make the move to study at HB Studios in NY where he had studied. I took the jump and learned much. I enjoyed my time at HB and also spent a year at Atlantic Theater Company, studying an approach which I work in with my Hagen steps to come into a technique of my own. I am thrilled to be applying all of this to my work in the role of Kitty for the stage. The first few weeks of rehearsal, we focused on blocking. Last week, we began working off book, calling for a line if we need to. The freedom of not having a script in hand is a wonderful thing. Sometimes it feels like you are jumping off a cliff, hoping your parachute will open, and I simply have to trust myself. This play has three acts, and last night we focused on Act One. I have noticed that I must work on my breathing, as if we are not loud enough, some of us will have to be using a mike... not what I would like to be doing. So, I took some time to relax at home and then backstage, focusing on the breath coming from the belly (Linklater Voice Process). My posture is another factor, there will be no slouching with this character as she is a young lady in England in the 1800's. The accent is coming along, working at it daily, reading things aloud while I exercise. Thursday rehearsal is Act 2 and 3, so I shall work on keeping my posture upright, even while at home, so that I can make it more habitual. At least for me, it is not something I can turn on just like that. Before rehearsal, I will review my analysis, and do some breathing exercises and let you know how these acts go. |
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Well I am done with my play which was unbelievably wonderful. I really didn't think it would get off the ground but it did. Boy for my first play it was pretty hectic. As I was backstage listening for my cue it dawned on me that this is LIVE and there are no retakes. No really, I was thinking in that moment that this is it, do or die time. And I must say I DID IT!!!!! I got a lot of praise from fellow actors and doing theater live is the best experience anyone can ask for. I talked with a fellow actor who gave me much praise for my work and I replied back---TRUTHFUL is what it's all about...What a wonderful craft I've been asked to do. Thanks for all the hard work you put in your classes. Jennifer Sgambati |
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This is the end of week two of rehearsal of Noel Coward's "Hay Fever", to play at the Sherman Playhouse in Sherman CT in a few weeks. Over the past two weeks, the cast and I have improved our dialect, which is British Stage Standard (BSS). One of the things I've noticed about speaking in this particular dialect is that it's easier to project my voice toward the nose-bleed seats way in the back of the house. During a break, I thought back to my voice work, and realized that, of course it's easier, British English is spoken more forward in the mouth than is American English, which tends to come from somewhere is the middle of the mouth, depending on any regional dialect or idiosyncracies. However, without voice work, IPA, and self awareness, I might not have realized this. It's very difficult when speaking in your own natural dialect, to realize precisely how your tongue and throat interact with each other as well as with the hard and soft palattes. But it is absolutely necessary to find this, through voice exercises (Linklater, Rodenberg, etc), and through slowing down to take the time to FEEL what your mouth is doing to produce the sounds. Once you've FELT, not thought, what your body is doing, it's possible to make adjustments to this in order to produce different sounds, and therefore, different dialects. In Mr. Coward's play, all but one of the dialects needs to be upper class. An actor may do a great Cockney, Irish, Scottish, North Country, etc dialect, but when all the other actors are in BSS, and you're not, because you've not taken the time to learn how to adapt, your dialect becomes the verbal "speed bump" in a play that must move like lightning. At the end of week two, one of the actors is in this situation, and constantly gets pronounciation notes, rather than notes that might help him fully realize his character. This past week, during a break, the director called me over and said that she loved what I've been doing, but the top of the play needs something. She said that in one particular scene I had that "something", and could I bring it to the opening scene. In defending myself (we're all so touchy about our work, aren't we?), I said, "That's because I know what I want in the scene you like, and I've not figured out my want in the opening scene." As I fully realized what I had just said, I thought of Ms. Hagen and the Six Questions, which loom over everything. Also, as soon as I'd said that, I realized what I DO want in that opening scene, and it's the same thing I want in the scene the director likes, which goes back to, "Who am I?", and "What do I want?" Another of these questions,"What do you do to get what you want?" dictates my actions in the first scene. I'm drawing at the top of the show. Why? The script says so. Duh! I'm drawing a caricature for the woman who is visiting me later that afternoon. Why? Because I want to impress her. Why? Because I think I'm in love with her, and I want her to return my affection. This simple want of wanting to be loved by a wonderful, pretty woman is what drives me throughout this play, even in the odd closing scene after she's gone, probably spooked away by me and my oddball family. I have also found that when actors listen, we don't drop our lines, and scenes go like a bullet. When actors don't listen, as opposed to just hearing, the scenes are like lead, and seem to take hours. I've found myself in both camps at different times. One of my teachers in England, Katie Mitchell, one of the finest young directors in the world, said, "In theatre, there is not good and bad; there is clear and unclear." Clarity goes back DIRECTLY TO THE ACTOR MAKING CHOICES. If you're listening, and letting the words land, that is, allowing the words spoken to affect you, then your possible responses are limited, and the audience clearly sees what is happening. In short, when you're listening, the "path" opens before you, and choices make themselves. When you are waiting for your line, and are simply ready to spit out the appropriate words at a particular cue, the audience gets a muddied view of the action and the through line, WHICH DOES NOT SERVE THE PLAY!!! At these times, you mull over choices that should come automatically, IF you're truly listening, and not waiting. I've noticed one actor in particular constantly is jumping everyone's lines, and my scenes with her seem to confuse me. I can't imagine that the audience, the director and stage manager at this time, is seeing anything simple and clear. And, in fear that she's going to jump on my lines, I find myself not listening TO her, but listening FOR my cue. That's when I have to sit back, breathe, maybe roll up and down the spine a few times, and relax my body, so that my mind can do its job without tension. |
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Diana Hulet - Phoenix, AZ
After working in film before my studies, I was cast in my first full production play, "Charley's Aunt", after moving here to Phoenix from New York. 8/25/01 Nine is a bit early, yet it is a good way to wake up. All of the actors clutching their coffee cups was the first scene. We ran through Acts one and two. I felt very good about my work today, as I walked on stage with the confidence of my action and knowing my lines would be there for me. Our director was thrilled with us, and told us so. I called for line once, and see how important it is to stay in the moment, just because we call a line does not mean that we are not working, or have fallen out of the scene. I will miss rehearsal on Monday due to a commercial shoot, and I look forward to Tuesday night's rehearsal. |
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9/11/01 Today was a strange rehearsal in light of what has been unfolding just over an hour's drive away, as well as in other parts of the country. Before heading out, I called the director to ask if we were indeed having rehearsal, and she said that it might be a good opportunity to NOT think about these events for a few hours, but that if it turns out to be impossible, we'll cancel. This rehearsal was unusual in that focus was either precise and narrow, or all over the board, from each of us at different times. I think we all (separately) decided to divert our minds away from the day's tragic events, and onto the art form we all love, and that brought us together. We're off book now, or at the very least, some of us aren't holding our scripts, and line calls increased and decreased depending on what was going on in our minds. Overall, this night was useful in our rehearsal process. It gave each of us the opportunity to really TRY to maintain focus. In today's case, all our minds were on the same thing. In most other cases, each actor coming into rehearsal or performance has the "baggage"--good and bad-- of the day with him, and it then becomes his or her job to focus in spite of, or because of what has happened to us that day. But as the cast learned last night, it is possible. |
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Diana Hulet - Phoenix, AZ
After working in film before my studies, I was cast in my first full production play, "Charley's Aunt", after moving here to Phoenix from New York. 8/27/01 Headed to rehearsal tonight. Last night I only made it to half of rehearsal, due to a commercial shoot. I arrived in time to run through the first act once. One actor was out sick, and another was there, sick. So, our director is concerned about everyone's health. I did get the chance to feel what it is like to rush into rehearsal. My shoot was two hours away, so it was interesting to jump into things so quickly. One of the actors brought up the point that we are running entire acts without stopping, and there are "scenes" that still need work. He suggested that we run the full act and go back and work on some chunks of material. By the time I got home, I had an email from the director regarding the changes in our approach. Tonight we plan on solely working act two. I worked on my lines today, ran them well, so now to stretch and do some Linklater. Until tomorrow... |
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9/18/01 Today's rehearsal was phenomenal. The energy was really up, and, with a few glitches, went like a rocket. What a contrast from yesterday, when it seemed that the cast had just woken from a long sleep. On the way home, I tried to see the differences. On Monday, we'd had two days off, which can always dull your edge. I have no idea why the two rehearsals were so different, except from my point of view. On the way to rehearsal, I knew I didn't have much time, so I did as many vocal warm-ups as you can possibly do in the car. I hoped no one I knew would drive by, as I was warming up my face, tongue, etc., and I had to laugh at the possible reaction someone would have.... The radio was on, and one of the local stations played a set by the group Queen, a group I listened to in high school and college, and always loved. I started thinking about the fact that Freddie Mercury, the late lead singer, lived such an incredibly rich life, and that his life as well as his performances were given a 200 % effort. No holding back. Janis Joplin was like that, too. And you can hear that energy and life force in their recordings today. And I thought, why not do that in rehearsal. The only thing the director can say is "too much! Bring it down!" But she didn't. She said, "Good work. Your energy is incredible tonight, and your scenes flew. Thank you." Here's the really interesting part. When I gave my rehearsal work such commitment to want and need, I had more fun, and interacted better, listened better, and reacted (not acted) better to the life of the play around me. I was Simon romancing his love, playing a game, arguing, drawing, all with intent and focus. Lines? "There are no lines." And there weren't. There was just life. |
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After working in film before my studies, I was cast in my first full production play, "Charley's Aunt", after moving here to Phoenix from New York. 9/5/01 Enjoying a day off, we had rehearsals on Tuesday and Wednesday, and now off until Saturday. One week to go, still trying to get the play under 3 hours. Alot of work. We are picking up the pace, and fitting our costumes. I am quite secure with my entrances, exits, and my lines. My actions are working, some of them are still being adjusted. I will sit down tomorrow to go through them, and be ready for Saturday doing a full run. I am finding my character through my actions, and she is showing her face. We did find out that most of the women, including myself, are being miked. I took it personally for a few moments and sulked backstage. I know that my voice level and quality has improved since we started, and, for that, I am thankful. I will continue to work, and shall ask Marc for some Linklater exercises. Until Saturday, thanks for tuning in. |
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9/24/01 Today's rehearsal wasn't as great as yesterday's was. After last night, I was a little flat today, hoping, perhaps, to ride the coattails of yesterday's energy. It didn't happen. The first scene, the top of the show, was agonizing for me. During a break, I asked the director how the scene appeared. When she replied that it looked good, I told her that I wasn't as satisfied with it, and that my actions felt a little mannered, as if I had fallen back on technique, rather than creating my reality fresh, and living the circumstances of the play. I suppose I fell into the trap of trying to reproduce everything from the day before, a big mistake. I realized that just as each day is different in my life, each performance will be just a little different. As long as I am connected to my want, needs, the realization of the stakes, and of what my reward is if I "get"what I want as the character, then the play will take it's own life, and I won't be trying to manipulate it to be something that existed yesterday, or last week. Isn't that how we live life, anyway? And as actors, aren't we trying to "live" truthfully on the stage? In life and on stage, we can't have back the past, and we can't reproduce it with anything resembling spontaneity (the way it happened), so I'll see what happens when I go into each rehearsal and performance not knowing how it will turn out. How could I? I don't in real life. |
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After working in film before my studies, I was cast in my first full production play, "Charley's Aunt", after moving here to Phoenix from New York. 9/10/01 We made it through the entire show without stopping and it ran almost three hours. I feel more at ease with my lines and from now on, I shall take a look at my script before rehearsals, and not during. I made a few adjustments, and they worked well. Tonight is our first dress rehearsal, and we do some tech also. Although Friday is opening night, I am treating tonight as opening night. I suppose it is my own approach, yet it feels right, and that is what I go by. I received no notes from Sue, I made a few of my own, and we shall see how things go. The show will cause alot of laughter, and I know that I will do my best and maintain focus even if we have to pause. So, today I begin preparing as if there will be an audience. My father once told me that it does not matter if there is an audience of one or one thousand. Here goes... |
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9/25/01 Tonight's rehearsal was quick due to the fact that I was late enough to have missed the first act. "For shame!" cried the professionals. But I was in an impossible situation with my day job, and not only was my boss there, but his boss was there as well, an unusual situation in my work. I didn't think I could get away with, 'Hey guys, would you finish this project for me. I know it's my account, but I've got to get to rehearsal. Hope you don't mind.' As soon as I realized the project was going slower than expected, and there was no way to speed up things, I called the director and we talked. I explained the situation, and told her I would keep her updated as the end of the project drew near. While she wasn't excited by my news, she realized I would do everything I could to get there as quickly as possible. Finally, I was able to get in the car, and go to rehearsal. I drove, concentrating on the stakes of the play, and what I needed, and what I had to do to get it. As much as possible, I warmed up my voice. I arrived, and they'd finished the first act. I got into costume (it was a dress rehearsal), rolled up and down the spine a few times, shook out my shoulders, and went into the second act. I was focused, and concentrated, knowing what I wanted within the context of the play. I was also relaxed, surprisingly, considering I'd practically jumped out of the car and onto the stage. But afterward, I realized that preparation, any preparation, no matter how little, is immensely important. I was able to use the excitement and fear that Betty Buckley calls the "adrenaline rush", and channel it into the energy of my character, rather than the fact that I was late after a tough work day, and that I didn't get the chance to warm up as I like. |
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After working in film before my studies, I was cast in my first full production play, "Charley's Aunt", after moving here to Phoenix from New York. 9/12/01 I am writing this on Wednesday 9/12, the day after a terrible and sad tragedy took place in our country. It feels strange to carry on our days, and we are each filled with emotions that are unexplainable. Our production is affected. We held a dress rehearsal on Monday, yesterday I did not attend rehearsal. And after a meeting that was held last night, we have decided to push the show a few weeks. We will rehearse this evening the best we can and keep going from there. My compassion goes out to you all. We would be having a show tomorrow, and last night proved that, after the events of this week, we made the right decision to change our show dates. We were missing a cast member due to a family loss, unrelated to attacks on our country. He will be back. Our rehearsal last night was very intimate. By that, I mean that our energy was low, and our emotions high. We played, allowed mistakes to happen, and laughed. It was the first rehearsal that my heart did not race before stepping on stage, and in some way, it was a pleasant surprise. Because we do not go up for three weeks now, our rehearsals are more sparse, and we will have more time to take care of things in each of our lives. |
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9/26/01 What a great rehearsal. Because of last night's unusual circumstances of being late, I had agreed to come an hour early to run a few scenes the director wanted to work. I arrived early, had a cup of tea, warmed up my voice and body, and ran the scenes. I felt relaxed, balanced, and focused. Once I almost dropped a very important line, but I was able to get OUT of my "lines", and into my wants and needs, and the line came out, a little later than it should have, but the act went on. In this same scene, I had a huge revelation about trusting yourself. Due to the fact that I almost dropped that important line, I was a little hesitant, wavering between "want" and "lines" a few times in the scene, which moves like lightning. I had another line halfway out of my mouth and stopped, thinking I had just said the wrong thing. My mind knew what it was doing. It knew what it wanted, even if my conscious mind was in doubt. The actress to whom I was speaking incorporated the second half of the sentence into her line, and the scene moved on. I knew instantly that I need to trust myself. I've prepared, I've done my homework, but the overriding concern to be "perfect", took over for a few seconds. After my exit during the scene, and before my next entrance, worlds collided in my mind, and I knew I had to fly with my instinct, and not overthink what I was doing. The words I halfway said were the only possible thing with which I could have responded, AND I KNEW IT!!! In situations like that in the past, I would have spent that time between exit and entrance kicking myself in the head for screwing up, but the realization that I could trust my training, my preparation, my body, my voice, and the script, was so overwhelming that I could only smile and focus. What a day! |
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After working in film before my studies, I was cast in my first full production play, "Charley's Aunt", after moving here to Phoenix from New York. 9/15/01 We would have had our first show last night, and we are blessed with more rehearsal time. One of our actors is still out, and we should have him back by tomorrow. Because of this extra time, we are able to get to some details throughout the play. Tomorrow we will run the entire show again, and really have the opportunity to see where we are at. |
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We've finally opened. Last Friday was opening night, which is what this entry will detail. 9/28/01 Opening night. We've rehearsed, gone through tech week, had last minute changes to everything, been fitted and refitted for costumes, and we've finally arrived at Opening Night. Last night's final dress/preview went rather well, which made me a little anxious about opening, because of that old saying about a bad dress produces a good opening, and the converse. I wonder, do we subconsciously will ourselves into this behavior because of an old tradition? Oh, well, no matter. I walked into my 7:00 pm call very calm, perhaps too calm. I did my physical warmup, my vocal warmup, rolled up and down the spine, loosened my shoulders, and then changed into my costume. I went onstage, did my prop check, and then went back to the green room to relax, and concentrate on my breathing, and, above all, to focus. As it turns out, that last thing was a little problematic. The curtain opened to a very full house, there was applause, and as the house got quiet, the actress playing my sister began the dialogue. I felt a little nervous, and found myself, within two sentences, jumping on top of her lines because I wasn't focused on my wants and needs. When I realized that, I began to mentally kick myself in the head for not being focused, which took me further from focus, and very soon, I was into LINES!!! "Oh, no, this sucks! I have to focus. I have to focus. I have to focus," or so my mind raced. About this point, I noticed my breathing was so shallow it was a miracle I was able to speak at all. "Breathe Dan, deeply and slowly, and remember why you're in this room, what you want, and what you're willing to do for it." As I began to relax, and focus on Ms. Hagen's Six Questions, my focus quickly sharpened, and then things began to flow well. The panic was gone, and in its place was my focus, driven by my wants, not by the fear of looking stupid in front of an audience. The above lasted about two minutes, but in my mind, it seemed like two days. What went wrong? Why did this happen? These were the questions in my mind the next day. Although I was never able to completely pinpoint the precise thing, in the wider scope of things, I let the fact that it was "Opening Night" catch me off guard. Yes, there was a large audience now, although we'd had audiences at the previews. I guess I didn't count those previews as shows, but now, on opening night, this was official! The things that go through your mind are amazing. After that dodgey opening scene, the rest of the show went well, and the audience was very responsive, and seemed to enjoy the show. Was I happy? No, not really, because of my perfectionist nature, and the fact that I wanted things to be perfect, which leads to the fact that I was not living the circumstances of the play, but living the circumstances of my personal life, and the fact that in that life, it was opening night. We, as people, perfectionists or otherwise, don't think and want every action to be "perfect"; we just live and cope and adjust to whatever life throws at us. This is one of the tricky things about focus: I was focused, but not on the appropriate thing. The next night, I was in the life of the play, not my personal life, and it went well, with good focus. |
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After working in film before my studies, I was cast in my first full production play, "Charley's Aunt", after moving here to Phoenix from New York. 9/22/01 This week, we had two rehearsals. We finally have all of our actors back. Although, I am amazed that some people still do not know their lines and are missing their entrances. It is very important to pay attention on stage and off stage. One might think "oh, I have plenty of time before I go on again" Yes, but what if the actors onstage jump and end up finishing their work faster than usual. Therefore, is it part of the actor's job to sit backstage, and listen, focus, and breathe. I have learned this on this production. Tomorrow, we will do a line run-through, where we all sit at a table and run our lines, no blocking. It is crucial right now for everyone to KNOW THEIR LINES. It must happen. I will let you all know how it goes. |
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10/14/01 We just finished our third week of a four week run of "Hay Fever". This weekend's performances were very important to me because they made me realize how important a process and technique is to an actor. I was very personally distracted this weekend, because the enormity of the September 11th events finally hit home. This "procrastination", as it were, would come as no shock to those who know me well. As such, my mind bounced from thought to thought, and I had trouble focusing on anything, no matter how simple. Friday morning, I picked up the mail, and received a lovely note from a fellow actress who had seen my performance the past weekend, and that made me feel great, as well as appreciated. By Friday evening, however, I was a basket case emotionally and went to the theatre very upset and distracted, tears welling in my eyes as I drove. I arrived, warmed up my body, dropped down the spine several times, and got into costume. During my warmup, I realized I needed to use every tool in my arsenal to keep focused, and to give the performance I had been hired to give. While the audience might empathize with my feelings, they weren't there to share in them. So, I focused on Ms Hagen's six questions, and in particular, on my wants and needs: those things that drive my behavior as Simon. After each exit, and before each entrance, I rolled up and down the spine, and focused on my breathing and on the "stakes" of my wants and needs. My personal feelings were always there, throughout Friday's show, and they continued into Saturday and Sunday. They never went away. But the director told me this weekend's performances were really "spot on", and that I'd never been better. These shows weren't as much fun for me as the previous weekend, due to my own mindset, but my focus was better because I knew I had to make up for the "handicap" I was feeling. In short, I had a job to do, and I did it. As a professional, I didn't have the luxury of allowing my personal life to interfere with my professional life. This is not a profession that permits that. I didn't fake not being sad. I focused inward, to my personal acting process, to find myself as the character, and to deliver the performance. When I was on stage, I was up, bright, happy, mischievious, etc, and it was real. This lesson I learned this weekend was that, although acting is great fun, sometimes it's a job that has to be done. This is why it doesn't matter what is happening in our personal lives. The audience doesn't want to be a part of my personal circumstances: they want to see the character living in the circumstances of the play, or the film. And please understand that my time on stage wasn't torturous, an activity to "get through" until I could get off the stage and brood. It was wonderful and uplifting, and gave me pleasure; there was plenty of time afterward to think about life's odd turns. |
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After working in film before my studies, I was cast in my first full production play, "Charley's Aunt", after moving here to Phoenix from New York. 9/24/01 Last night was good for us. We needed to sit and focus on our lines and pronunciation. It might have seemed boring, yet I am sure we shall see the difference after tonight's rehearsal. We did go onstage and run Act 3. I am noticing that when rehearsing for so long... 8 weeks now, one can fall into the trap of "adding bits" for laughs. Sometimes these bits might work, sometimes they are just an excuse for not working in the "truth of the moment." If we remain connected to our scene, that is interesting enough. Until tomorrow. |
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After working in film before my studies, I was cast in my first full production play, "Charley's Aunt", after moving here to Phoenix from New York. 10/5-7/01 Well, the show opened and closed this weekend. Wow, fast and wonderful. I wore a mike on Friday, and we had problems with it, so I asked if I could run without it, and I did. The audiences enjoyed it, and we are happy and fulfilled. I look forward to the next... soon. |
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Jo-Aynne von Born - SAG - Miami I learned something very practical on an industrial shoot today. I was hired to play a sales rep and had a lot of technical dialogue that was very foreign to me but I had to make it sound conversational and second nature. I felt confident going in because I studied the material closely and also had a teleprompter. I got on set and immediately sat in my "chair" and leaned back confidently ready to deliver my pitch. However the director was adamant that I looked too relaxed and wanted me to sit forward and lean over the desk more aggressively. I did what she said and it all felt very uncomfortable and stiff to me, not a position that would give the "easy going sell" they said they wanted. I also sensed a tenseness on the set that probably had nothing to do with me, just a long day for the crew, so I played along feeling the whole time it wouldn't be right. To top it off, on the first take, the teleprompter had completely new dialogue that I never heard of. But I didn't flinch. I read it as best I could and afterwards they realized they had the another actor's sides up! They corrected that, but even after the second take the director realized something still wasn't working. She came over and asked me what I thought and I told her that sitting back in the chair gave me an anchor and made me feel confident and easy going. It also enabled me to lean forward over the desk when the urge to make a more important point sprang to my mind. I did it 3 more times and the client was in 7th heaven which in turn brightened the director's day. You'd have thought I gave an Award Winning performance for Industrials. But all I did was behave truthfully in the circumstances. But the real lesson I learned was that I had to be willing to look bad, in order to look good. By being a team player and being willing to try it the director's way, even though my instincts said no, opened the door to me being treated with respect and after only two takes, having my opinion asked for. I'm glad I checked my actor ego at the door today. Not only did I prove I was a professional but I also turned in a performance I can be proud of. I spoke with the client before I left and he gave me this insight. When he looked through the tapes from the casting, he only had time to watch the actor slate and the first 10 seconds afterwards before he makes his decision. Then he just fast forwards to the next person purely because of time constraints. He said most actors were brilliant in their slate, so animated and real. But as soon as the "dialogue" started, they became 2 dimensional and lost everything that was charming about them. A reminder to all of us to stop hiding what is unique and different about us and expose it through our work. It's our best competitive edge. |