Reasons to Buy a New Car
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Reasons to Buy a New Car
- Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic
Places
- Instead of an airbag, there's a whoopie cushion taped to your
steering wheel
- Stench from bodies in trunk becoming unbearable
- You lose the stop-light challenge to a 14-year old on a moped
- 15 minute Jiffy Lube needs to keep your car for 3 days
- Thieves repeatedly break into your car just to take "The
Club"
- When you gas up, the attendant asks, "Can I re-duct tape
that windshield for you?"
- While waiting at a stop-light, people run up asking if anyone was
hurt
- You never seem to get an answer at the AMC Gremlin help desk
- For the last five years, you've had to settle for making
"vroom-vroom" noises while sitting in the driveway
- You keep losing dates on left turns
- Your gas guage measures in cubits
- Traffic reporters starting to refer to you by name when
discussing morning tie-ups
- Hasn't been the same since Hugh Grant borrowed it
- Your tires are balding faster than Michael Bolton
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