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To: All Male Taxpayers
From: Internal Revenue Service
Re: Increased Tax Payments
Dear Taxpayer:
The only thing the Internal Revenue Service has not taxes is your
pecker. This is due to the fact that 10% of the time it is hanging around
unemployed, 30% of the time it is pissed off, 20% of the time it is hard
up, and 10% of the time it is employed but is operating in the hole. Furthermore,
it has two dependents and they are both nuts.
Accordingly, after July 1, 1980, your pecker will be taxed based on its size. Using the Pecker-Checker scale below, determine your category and tax, then nclude on your 1040 under "other taxes" Page 2 Part V Line 6.
Pecker-Checker Scale:
| 10-12 in. | Luxury Tax | $50.00 |
| 8-10 in. | Pole Tax | $40.00 |
| 6-8 in. | Privilege Tax | $30.00 |
| 4-6 in. | Nuisance Tax | $20.00 |
NOTE: Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund. Do not ask for
an extension.
Males with peckers over 12 inches should be filed under "Capital
Gains".
Sincerely.
US/ag
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