CONTROL FREAKS --- WHO THEY ARE AND HOW TO STOP THEM
FROM RUNNING YOUR LIFE by Gerald W. Piaget. Doubleday, 1991



INTRODUCTION --- Holding with an open hand (pix-xii)

The only way you can ever hold something wild and free, such as a fragile bird, is with an open hand!

What a hard choice and never ending struggle it is to decide to maintain the proper balance between "controlling" and "letting go" in work relationships. The ability to use that elusive, almost paradoxical, third alternative of holding with an open hand, takes courage and faith as well as skill!

    [1] Control freaks --- The term "control freak" is a street idiom of recent vintage, the meaning and implications of which seem to vary from one speaker and one situation to another.

    However, as the term is used in this book, "control freak" is in no way derogatory. It is only descriptive! Control freak refers to someone who consistently CONTROLS too much at the wrong times --- someone who needs to be in charge and cannot let go!

    In other words, a "control freak" is someone who cannot "hold with an open hand" when it is necessary or preferable to do so.

    Actually, even you could turn into a "control freak" under the right circumstances --- if you let your "control needs" get the better of you!

    [2] About the book (pxii)

    This book is aimed primarily at helping you deal more effectively with the "control freaks" in your life. However, if you happen to be a "control freak," there is something in the book for you! The book addresses the issues, serves the needs, and satisfies whatever curiousities you may have about control-oriented people.

PART 1 --- CONTROL FREAKS (p3-23)

    1) Control freaks and accommodators --- An overview (p3-23)

    2) Gotcha! The patterns and tactics of control (p24-46)

    3) I'm yours --- How we accommodate the control freaks in our lives (p47-65)

    4) Motives and payoffs --- Why control freaks and accommodators act the way they do (p66-100)

PART 2 --- TAKING BACK THE POWER (p99-217)

    5) Taking back the power --- The Aikido alternative (p101-117)

    6) Centering --- Pathways to personal power (p118-143)

    7) Observation and alignment --- Riding the tiger in the direction it is going! (p144-167)

    8) Redirection --- How to gently turn the tiger around (p168-200)

    9) Integration --- Taking it back to the real world (p201-218)

      [1] Your main goal should NOT be to change the control freak! (p201-202)

      [2] Take care you do NOT become a control freak yourself! (p202-203)

      [3] Do NOT expect to win them all (p203-204)

      [4] Anything that is worth doing is worth doing badly! (p204)

      [5] "Be like the water, NOT the rock" (p204-205)

        (1) What to do if nothing works (p205-214)

          1. Making the choice (205-208)

          2. If you choose to stay --- writing it into your job description! (p208-209)

          3. If you choose to leave --- making the break (p213-214)

        (2) Getting additional help (p214-217)

          1. Professional help (p214-216)

          2. Self-help and support groups (p216)

          3. Aikido instruction (p217)

        (3) Holding with an "open hand" --- reprise! (p217)

    APPENDIX --- Suggested reading (p219-223)

    INDEX (p224-228)


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