Throughout the 18 years years spent (consciously) on my spiritual path, my concept of God has changed, subtly expanding. When I read The Urantia Book that concept exploded dramatically, but also created an uneasiness that I couldn't quite put my finger on. God had become TOO big, and my PERSONAL relationship had become too tenuous for my comfort. A few weeks ago, in meditation one morning, that concept changed again, but this time to one that was completely comfortable, and which I would like to share.

Imagine God, the Tao, I AM, All That IS, the Quantum Soup, Cosmic Consciousness, etc, as the COMPLETE undifferentiated Source, FULLY conscious of ALL parts, no matter how small or huge. This sheer BEing of purest love and joy merely IS, fully aware of Its experience of ALL that occurs. Try to imagine the ecstacy of the experience of LIGHTNING, the explosive discharge of energy between parts of that One Self. It must make an orgasm insignificant by comparison, yet It ALSO experiences ALL of those, whenever and wherever they occur. Then just TRY to imagine all the cataclysmic events possible in the Eternity CONTAINING all universes which make lightning itself insignificant by comparison. You get the picture, and it makes our "personality" kind of small, doesn't it?

My current understanding (subject to future change in keeping with Ralph Waldo Emerson's line - "All that I have seen readies me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen") is that at one point "my" soul differentiated itself from this Source, and became a unique consciousness, still fully aware of Its BEing as a PART of that Source, yet aware of Its unique Sonship. It was thus ready to begin Its evolution and growth as a Creator in Its own right. I will call this differentiated Soul IS.

This IS immediately began to create forms, or physical bodies within the universe already created by Source, each with its own unique personality while in physical form. The one currently called Dennis is but one of many such forms or incarnations that could be in existance on many physical and non-physical worlds or realms. Time is not a factor from the IS level, which resides in the eternity of NOW, and so Its "lifetimes" are all simultaneous at that level of consciousness. As It grows in awareness, Its power to create will expand as well, including (I suspect) the ability to create or awaken other Souls from Its parts of Source, just as It was awakened within an Oversoul at some point. It boggles the mind to realize that there may be unlimited levels of Over-Oversouls in an infinite hierarchy, and yet all within that One Source.

As MY creator, however, IS is vitally and directly concerned with MY personality, for it is through these personalities that IS grows in Its awareness, just as I grow in awareness through my personal experiences. Before Dennis began my conscious spiritual path, TRYING to reach a greater awareness of who I am, IS patiently waited, directing my every move, KNOWING that I would eventually wake up and begin to align my will with Its. (Now I have to figure out why I waited so long!!!)