Poetry... yeah, that's what this is

I usually consider the writing of poetry to be confined to poets and teen-age girls. I love good poetry... my favorite book, "The Prophet," is a poem... and I hate bad poetry. Imagine my bemusement when I discovered an old notebook with some stuff I wrote.

I thought about shredding it, mostly because it's kinda bad but partially because I really don't remember writing it. And I suppose the "I" that is writing this didn't write the poetry below. I don't nurse pain long enough to produce drivel anymore.

Then I thought, "Oh, why not? My web space isn't quite full yet." So here it is.

I remember I wrote this about a dear friend of mine. I rarely see her, but when I do, it's usually because one of us needed the other and didn't even realize it. Knowing her is pure magic.

As I pulled back the branches
And looked upon the golden sand,
Heard the gentle lapping of the waves
On the shore
And felt your presence, not quite near,
The tired old man in my soul
Laid down his burden
And rested for a while.

As I waited patiently,
Not too long,
For the warm colors of your voice
To reach out to me, surround me,
The tired old man in my soul
Shifted under his burden,
Anticipating.

As I gazed into eyes the color of life itself
And felt your presence embrace my spirit
The bright light of your laughter reaching
The darkest corner of my aloneness
The tired old man in my soul
Laid down his burden
And rested for a while.

This one actually isn't too bad. It feels good to read it.

Perhaps the little boy
In the belly of my being
Long thought dead
Or dying
Is alive after all
Waiting patiently
Dreaming of games to play
Humming a song he just made up
Or just hoping someone, smiling,
Would ask his name.

Some guy told me about his one wish in life. It rang with me, somehow.

"Son," my father said,
"You are what I always
Wanted to be."

I awoke, wiping away tears,
Feeling as if
I'd swallowed something
Bigger than myself.

OK, this one is really high-school girl stuff. Fair warning. I can't believe I ever did this. IT IS NOT TRUE OF ME ANYMORE, ok? It'd be funny if it wasn't so sad, and it'd be sadder if it wasn't gone.

Today
My life crumbles about me
The ground underneath my feet
Heaves
I am strong
But not stronger than this.

I called upon a friend
Someone I love
To help me stand.
I said, "Please,
I need you today."
"I cannot," came the answer,
"I have something planned."

I called upon another
Someone whom I have held
Near my heart.
I said, "Please,
I need you today."
"You think you have problems?" came the answer,
"Let me tell you about my......"

I called a new friend
Someone fresh and clean
Having shared pain, just a little,
I knew she would look upon me
With kindness.
"Please," I said,
"I need you today."
"No," came the answer,
"I don't want to."
Oh, God... Not that...

Maybe God...
I called upon the God of my youth
Remembering He would be with me
Always.
I reached out, reached up,
Waiting,
Anticipating the grasp of a hand
And instead found
The dust of crumbled myth.
"No," came the answer,
"I am not."

So here I stand today
Shakily
Watching life falling down around me, upon me,
Alone.

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