This took over 30 years of living and about 20 minutes to type, so....
My Life
I was born on Aug. 15, 1973. Born, raised and currently live in a relatively small southern town with it's own quaint
idiosyncrases. Large enough to have all the modern comforts, yet not big enough where one is lost in a crowd. Or so I
thought.
You see, I was born different. With physical problems both internal and external. I'm not atheletic, or booksmart and
not one for ravishing good looks, but I have a kind heart and a gentle soul. I am a writer, a talker and a people person,
among other things. I was baptized and confirmed Lutheran. I was grade schooled at our local private school, which has had
it's growth spurts and low ebbs in it's exsistence. Put it to you this way, I was in a 9th grade graduating class of 6. Hated
phys. ed. (I wonder why), but met many teachers who I look up to and respect and well as a few life long friends.
I have 2 older siblings who I truly love and look up to and their lives expanded on to their own families, which
I am blessed to be a part of. I have a loving, wonderful family, both immediate and extended and my own little
circle of friends, both immediate and peripheral. For me, life really got good my junior year of high school. That is
where I met my best friend and a few other really close friends. My senior year, though, I finally found someone who
liked me enough to spend time with me and be my friend. The first woman to ever really give me the time of day. We spent 3
great years hanging out and getting to know each other. Best years of my life. At the time.
When she left and as I made my transition from teen to the adult world, my life was rife with challenges. Still living
with my parents, I had the comfort and security of a stable household, but no car and no real responsibility or maturity.
Again, not the bookish type, I floated through college squeaking by. Ironically, I would develop my passion for writing later.
But at the time, I hated it. Over 12 years straight with books, reports, tests and other stuff without a break, I was burned
out. To be honest, on some occasions, I wasn't smart enough. So with help of family and friends I began working. Valuable
and priceless experiences I keep with me to this day. Twice I almost made it to be a "manager" of sorts, but circumstances
had other things in mind.
When my father died, I grew up fast, taking care of my Mom, let alone myself for the first time ever was a wake up call.
All those years I never thought I could do it. But I did. When my Mom got sick and my family grew away from me, both in lifestyle
and geography, I learned real fast I did what had to be done. I learned as I went along. It was only a few years ago that
I learned I had what would turn out to be a life long and life altering health condition. Once again, life smacked me in the
face and I got up, brushed myself and in time, learned to live with it, too. That is my greatest gift. Beyond writing, beyond
my capacity to love, I am a survivor.
No matter what happened or what was thrown at me I endured. It made me stronger, but hurt like the dickens along the
way. Now with my Mom gone I am on my own. More than that, I am in control of my own destiny. For years I relied
on others to help me, and grateful I am at that, now I look inward for my own peace and happinesss. I was taught that true
happiness comes within, not from someone else, contrary to my once popular belief. Me. Through it all, though, I was
not alone. I had friends and family.
Through life's great twists, I was reunited with my dear friend from high school. Now more than ever she taught me I
could be loved, liked. That I am a good person and I do try and I am good enough. My time with her also helped me learn what
I was severely lacking, experience in relationships. Now, I have a life, a home, family and friends and much more, that I
am proud of. I've come a long way in 3 decades. The boy I was then would not know the man I am now. I find myself better that
way. I am happy. I have had many opportunities and many great loves. There is even more to come. The best is just beginning.
In my e-mails, my signature quote is "To family, friends and the future" this has always rung true and spoke volumes
of my life. I'm a fighter, for who and what I believe in. I love everyone until they give me a reason not to. I perservere.
I have faith and hope. May my (and yours) days ahead be filled with bright joy and happiness. If I can
still do it, through all this, so can you. Thank you to all who helped me be who I am because of who you are and what you
do. Thank God for placing me in a life not perfect, but at the end of the day one I wouldn't trade for anything.
As I continue to grow and express myself as a writer, I've come along a motto, a mantra, if you will that helps me understand
the depths of how far writing can go. "Good writers write what they know. Great writers write how they feel." By this I mean
any person can write facts. Facts do not change, undisputable. Newspapers and magazines and the like display information,
which is cold, solid and not much, if any, of that person writing it is in there. I, on the other hand,
write how people and things make me feel. That is when I'm at my best creatively.
As a fledgling writer, I've had occasion to write about and to friends and family about how I feel, or moments
in time and what they mean to me fully expressed. I've come to realize I can do that about anyone and anything. Except
one. You see, when a person has the ability to beautifully put into words emotions, it's an untapped wellspring of potential
with infinite and constant source of enlightenment. However, there comes a time in a writer's life when he comes across a
person they can not write about. Not that they doesn't want to, mind you, but they can't. The reason for this is because
there is one special person in each of our lives that words simply can not fully express how you feel about them,
or what they mean to you.
In my recent experience, I've learned that not all the paper in the world could adquately hold all I feel for
this person. No mere words or actions can do it justice, so there's really no need to try. If you do, I promise you, you'll
come up short. There are no words. No actions. It just simply is. It's forever. Cherish your own special someone. Remind
them. Teach them. Love them. For those of you who haven't found them yet, patience, that day will come. On that
day you will be changed. On that day, you will know. Never give up.
Love everyone until they give yiou a reason not to. Forgive them. Treat them with the same respect you yourself deserve
and most of all, reach out. You never know who'll reach back. Touch lives. Make a difference. It matters. Man, woman
and child, even animals. We all need someone to love us, look out for us, and it's appreciated. Don't do it for what
you might get out of it, though. Do it because you can. Take these words to heart. If you make a person's day, it's
worth it. If you change a life, you are blessed. If it changes you, you are lucky. Live, love and hope. It will
set you free.
