miss tj's blog -- chronicles of a fat girl

These cicadas are getting out of hand. I can't take it anymore!!! They are everywhere and they make so much noise. My lovely car is covered with bug guts. Yesterday, I was driving my stepfathers truck - his AC seems to be on the brink so I had to ride with the windows down. Because of these damn cicadas every time I come to a stop I need to quickly roll up the windows to avoid one flying into the truck. Well, I forgot at one traffic light and a cicada flew into the truck. I could hear the damn thing buzzing around in the back passenger seat. My heart was racing a mile a minute, I could visualize the bug flying into my 'Raggedy Ann' braids and me flying off the road and dying by cicada craziness. Then the buzzing stopped - I thought maybe the cicada died and I would just roll the truck into its parking space and act like there wasn't a dead buy lying in the back seat. But, my paranoia wouldn't let it end so I kept turning around every two minutes on bug watch. Finally, I turned around and I saw this big red-eyed bug look up at me. I needed to get this thing out of the truck - But how??? Paper would probably crush it and then I would have to liter on a major road and risk a ticket. I couldn't find a tissue, but I'm MacGyver if y'all didn't know. I brought a sandwich bag of Neeco's to work today - I can use the sandwich bag. So I fish around in my purse and dump out the Neeco's and place the plastic baggy on my hand. It's time to prepare myself -- I need to pump myself up to turn around, grab the bug and throw it out the window. I can do this I know I can. So the next red light it's on!!! But, every time I got to a red light it immediately turned green - I was losing confidence it had to be done and it had to be done at that moment. So I rolled up to a light that had just turned green but there were five cars in front of me, this was my chance. I turned place my hand over the bug and the wings started to flutter so it could get away, but I had a good hold on it and I was able to swoop it up and throw it out the window. Phew!!! So, I then rolled up all the windows in the truck and rode the rest of my way back to work sweating like a pig -- Thank the Lord I have my own office.

And it appears that I have won two tickets to see Sting.

"8th World Wonder" by Kimberly Locke - I love this ultra-poppy song. The video actually gave me chills. It's ridiculous how I am fawning over this song, but I love it, love it, love it!!! And it's funny because I am about to admit something that may have some folks calling for my ovaries - but I am not a romantic person, I don't care for romantic things when it comes to my life, I don't need "special time" with another, passionate feelings or any of this gushy ~~junk~~ stuff. When I meet the person I think I could spend my time with maybe even my life, I want a partner, an equal. Someone who brings the same amount to the table as I do - I want a provider for my home. We don't need to spend hours looking into each other eyes or have moments when we give each other butterflies. We are able to communicate effectively and we are able to focus on bettering our home and ourselves. We have things in common but love our personal space. We are friends who love each other deeply but we don't need to fawn over each other like lovesick puppies. We are there for each other emotionally. We care about each other but we aren't gushy. We have "scheduled" cuddle moments that are appropriately enough for one another. We have one focus to just be happy.

So for me to love this song, which appears so gushy is downright weird. Nevertheless, I will be buying the CD.

I was all scheduled to take the LSAT on June 14, 2004 but my health, workload and just not being prepared has helped me make the decision to wait until October 2, 2004 to take the LSAT for my first and final time. I am really sad about this but I think it is for the best. I need a score that is about 165 or above and at the present moment I don't think I can accomplish this at this time. The waiting gives me the entire summer and part of the fall to study my butt off and get a truly high score. But, now my full law school admission packet will not be in until November 15, 2004 - which places my application into the pool with everyone versus being the first one in the bunch. This is fine for schools who don't have rolling admission but not so great for the schools who do have rolling admission. For the schools that have rolling admission, there is a chance I could've gotten into the school with a lower score and/or lower GPA. I know that grace is on my side and what is to happen was meant to happen. All I can do now is study and wait.

My Honda CR-V will be paid off in December 2004 - which means I will get a huge chunk of change coming to me every month starting January 2004. And since I am waiting to buy a home until the interest rates rise, which in turn will make housing prices cheaper - this extra cash will help me get a larger home. In regards, to those who question why wait until the interest rates go up - in this market homes that would usually go for $250,000 are going for $280,000 or more. When the interest rates go up the housing prices are sure to go down. Now, some may say I need to take advantage of the low interest rates - but, my feeling is I can get a lower interest rate to some point, but I can get a cheaper home once I buy it.

But, back to why I may have lost my mind. I want to get a Hybrid vehicle. I have wanted one for some time but in the SUV format. Well, Ford has answered my request with the new Ford Escape Hybrid that will come out in late summer. In my jacked up mind I am actually considering buying this vehicle. Why oh why do I do this to myself??? I can get a bigger home and keep my car or I can get the Hybrid and get a home that is smaller - I guess I answered my own question -- I have lost my mind.

I got out this weekend. I went to my first punk rock show at the "The Royal Lee" and had a blast - didn't understand a thing being said except "Woo-Hoo." The little ones were adorable; they ranged from 12 to 18. Our little crowd, outside of the band and the band friends were the oldest there. My maternal instincts kicked in when I saw a little girl get her nose bloodied during her mosh pit session - I even called her honey when I went to help her. She was mortified and for a moment I was too - but she didn't know how to take care of her bloody nose. After going to TRL, we headed to the "Black Cat" were I was treated like a rock star...free booze, VIP parking, back entrances and so forth - it was awesome. We had some drama because my friend got hurt and I ended up not getting any sleep until after I got my horrid 'Raggedy Ann' hairstyle.

So when my friends and I departed after Black Cat it was close to 2 AM in the morning - I didn't get home until 2:30 AM and I needed to wash and blow dry my hair prior to my 5 AM hair appointment. So forget about sleeping because I would sleep through my appointment and we can't have this because I needed to get my hair done badly. So as tired as I was I rolled to my hair appointment. I showed the lady what I wanted and showed her the color I wanted the braids to be. She brings me this color that is basically blonde, I wanted to smack this heifer - but I was nice and requested something darker and actually brown. She brings me another color that appears brown in the fluorescent lighting in the shop, but once the actual sun fully comes out about 3 hours later I noticed that the hair is not brown but red and brown - I look like a black 'Raggedy Ann' - I was livid. But, they were half done and there was no point turning back. Then to make matters worse, the hairstyle I showed her is not the hairstyle she gave me. But, I already had paid for it and I have to keep it for a while - Trust me all I was tempted to chop it out and go get it re-done somewhere else.

"The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" is now at the Arlington Cinema and Drafthouse. I am excited and disgusted at the same time. This show is going to bring so many people that it will be hard delivering all the drinks and food over stretch out legs, moved tables and chairs. However, the tips should be decent - so my wallet loves this.

On another note, I think I will need to spot sporting the ponytail and buck up and get my look back. Since, I have been feeling like crap while working my ass off - my desire to look good for me has left me. When I look at myself in the mirror and see that I am not taking care of my outward appearance because I am dealing with my internal body health I become disgusted with myself. So in the mist of ROK I think I will get my hair done - down with the perm and up with the natural...maybe some cute sister twists.

For as long as I can remember I have been in love with HD, never did I falter and fall for another. But HD doesn't do it for me anymore and I am moving on. MMA brought Vipe by the ACD the other day and I nearly went into shock by Vipe's beauty. Vipe is tall and sleek and made me tingle all over - I was embarrassed by the way I was acting but it was to be suspected. Vipe was HD and soooo much more - I think I had an orgasm just being in Vipe's presence. N and MMA laughed at me but, tried to hook up a time that Vipe and me could get more acquainted - which was so very cruel because N and MMA know that I love HD. I was torn, do I try and get closer to Vipe or continue my affair with HD which has been pretty darn satisfying until this point. But, a few uninterrupted moments with Vipe convinced me that HD could not live up to Vipe. Good-bye HD, we had fond memories and I will think of you often, but Vipe is my new love!!!

I love my job and my team likes maybe loves me. I do a great job and I get paid a wonderful salary - but I had to establish my own mentor/mentee program because I am not a manager. This sucks booty - this tells me that my company values what I do for them but my company doesn't value me. I do as much work and sometimes more work then some of these folks who are in a mentor program because they just happen to be managers. Technically I am not a manager because technically I don't supervise one or more persons - however, I assign about 70% of the work to my co-worker because I am the specialist and they are the administrator. Now my boss has tried to get me into select programs with wait-lists the size of California to no avail. Her efforts are endearing because it shows she values my work and me - I wish I could pass this endearment onto the company heads.

I don't recall what happened when "Seinfeld" went off the air or when "The Cosby Show" went off - so I may be speaking out of my ass. But, if I see one more "Friends" Finale type TV programming I am going to lose my lunch, which would be quite easy since I am suffering from a stomach virus. But, every time I turn around there is some "Friends" related programming on. Now, don't get me wrong I enjoyed the show even though I rarely saw people of color on the show and it was based in NYC (sore subject, will get into another day). But, do we need to fill up every ounce of programming with saying goodbye to the "Friends" - they are all still alive, the show will still air in syndication and they will continue to get rich until they are gone for real. Maybe all long running shows get this type of attention, but I just never noticed before because I slept more back then.