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monday, march 29, 2004
Passion...
I really have some issues that I need to work on - First and foremost,
the passion for good food and drinks. I realize that good food and drink come in all price ranges, but I seem to only
choose food and drink that are on the pricier side. Why this is - I don't know. It's not like I go into a place
to mingle with the supposed "upper crust" - I go about my own business and eat, eat, eat. So why on earth do I
refuse to find the same good food and drink at a cheaper place. I really need to, because two visits to the "Palette" over a two-day period isn't good for the pocket even if someone else picks up the tab.
friday, march 26, 2004
How much can you get with a quarter these days???
Yesterday I learned how to service some tables -- The drafthouse was dead...50 folks max.
G was nice enough to let me cipher 3 tables from her so I could learn the ropes. Folks were nice and the orders
were mostly alcohol and a few food items. Things were smooth until check time, two of my tables didn't have cash at
our cash only establishment. Not a problem, I will collect your ID while you run next door to get money then I
will collect your check. Folks seemed cool with this idea, but this one couple that was a slight annoying
(they were making out and kept getting up to talk on their cell phones) through the night and then left me a quarter
tip on a $21.75 tab. Never, ever, ever in my life had I ever left such a bad tip - but as my friend MM said
- everybody ain't me!!! But, it's no sweat off my back because what goes around comes around - I let Karma take care
of it and I move on after I speak about on my blog and find peace!!!
thursday, march 25, 2004
Reverting...
Walking through B&N I was approached by an old associate from my MA days. This approach wasn't filled with pleasant talk about what is
new in ones life but with some criticism of ones appearance. This conversation made me wonder how many days a week does
one need to "look good"???
For me I am all about the occassional sprucing - What purpose is
it for me to get all jazzed up everyday and especially during the workweek??? I go to work early, I leave work
late - why bother with the make-up, sassy hair, glossy lips and so forth. I'm a defense peon, I push paper, make
a lot of international calls, turn around a lot of e-mail and fun junk like this. When I do need to make an "over" appealing
appearance with customers, businness folks - I add a little bit of flare to the work outfit. But not everyday, I don't have
the energy. I am who I am -- when all the make-up comes off this is the face you are truly dealing with. But I
now realize that I must live in a little bubble, I go about my day and time a little clueless to the likes and dislikes of
others about myself (unless they make it apparent) so I didn't realize that my "game" was slipping and I was reverting back
into the days of Wellesley - where I wore what I wore, looked how I looked, because I didn't have any boys around - well that's
what the boys would always say.
tuesday, march 23, 2004
Scary...
Now I need to save money for school -- Getting a JD and MBA will
not be cheap, so I decided to add another job to my life. I will start training as a server for a local cinema and drafthouse.
I am excited but totally afraid at the same time. I have never been a server and I truly don't know what it entails.
I know what I like and don't like in servers I have had in the past, but could I put that internal advice that I had for them to true use??? Only time will tell - but
I have a lot of happy thoughts about
the job.
monday, march 22, 2004
Feeling Better...
Hello All -- I am feeling much better and getting back into the
swing of things. I was cursed with ear and sinus infections and a horrible cough. These caused me to be out
of commission for a bit. But, I will be ready to vent share in a bit. Thanks for all the well
wishes.
wednesday, march 17, 2004
Being Sick...
I'm all whiny because I am ill -- I just hate being sick and having
to go to work on top of it. But working with AC helps so much...I have a hard enough time explaining tasks when I am
not ill but forget about it when I'm sick, but some how, some way she understands what I need help with and gets it done.
Which is great because the office is still steadily moving forward.
On another note, I am sick but not sick enough to lose my appetite -- going to Noodles and Company for lunch today.
tuesday, march 16, 2004
As promised....
As promised I wanted to share with you all the pics of the keepsake box and clay pieces that camkin made for me - Aren't they lovely, she is quite talented -- look at how well she painted Frida Kahlo.
monday, march 15, 2004
Can I make it in Iowa???
I was in the process of trying to figure out where in the world
did I want apply for my pursuit of a joint degree - J.D. and MBA. Never in the world did I ever expect to
consider University of Iowa.
I truly believe God puts people in your life at the correct time
for the proper reason - here I am wanting a school that does not necessarily have the size of Wellesley but the atmosphere of a small school. The ability to take courses outside of the states for a semester at least, the
know how to pursue a further education dealing with International Law - Not finding all of those abilities and characteristics at the current schools I was looking
at - then pops up UI Law. This school has all that I want and more. Is Iowa where I am suppose to end up???
Only time will tell, but I like everything I have seen so far.
saturday, march 13, 2004
The coolest ever...
I went scrapping last night and got the coolest present ever - I
truly mean ever!!! I got a keepsake box with Frida Kahlo and Dia de los muertos (Day of the Dead) themes painted on it, including clay items with the same theme inside
the box. Now this wasn't any ordinary box and clay pieces one buys in the store - it was handmade for me, by the ever
so cool camkin. Now why was this the coolest present ever - it took a lot of thought and effort. camkin went to my Amazon Wish List and saw that I wanted a Latin American Art calendar and created me a keepsake box from similar images -- camkin had
no idea that I LOVE Frida. camkin is soooo ever cool. Cheers for camkin!!! Will try and post a picture soon!!!
friday, march 12, 2004
Finding a life...
Okay, who has a life now -- T.J.!!! I mean I was so busy this
week I had to actually bust out that very expensive Palm m515 I bought so long ago. Here was the run down
of the week:
Sunday -- Saw "Osama" with LH -- great movie.
Monday -- Went to a WizeTrade seminar with LH -- Trying to learn how get the best trade the stocks I currently have.
Wednesday -- Late dinner with my cupcake sponsor.
Thursday -- Arlington Cinema and Drafthouse with LH, LH, AC, CC and SL. Found that
ACD will be taking applications for jobs next week - Woo Hoo!!!
Friday -- Good-bye party followed by scrapping (scrap book session).
Saturday -- Early morning walk with friends, followed by a drive to the G.W. Parkway for reading
and introducing SM to the joy of "Journey" and ending the night with the 30th birthday bash of VK.
And I even have a whole lot of stuff to do next week -- If I keep this up, I will make
up for the last 26 years.
thursday, march 11, 2004
Please understand...
Who would've thunk that
the Martha posting would've caused such a stir in my inbox. But, here is the deal y'all - Martha wasn't convicted of insider trading,
she was convicted of lying to a federal official. I agree with Lawrence O'Donnell from the McLaughlin Group - it should
be everyone's first amendment right to lie to anyone you please as long as you are not under oath.
Regardless, I still don't want to
see her loose everything if she was wrong or not.
wednesday, march 10, 2004
Can't win for trying...
I feel like an outsider to the world at times. There are a
lot of things that I could care less about -- Mostly things that have no direct baring on my life and those I care for; including
their mental and physical well being.
But with all this stated I realize I may use the statement "I don't
care" a little too much. I get the feeling when I state "I don't care" folks figure I am put off, frustrated and/or
angry -- but, none of these things are true, it is just I don't care. What sparked this topic -
this morning during a conversation someone stated someone we both know was leaving, my response was "And" -
This person then stated "You don't care" - My response was something to the fact that this person was correct I didn't care.
I further explained this person who is leaving and myself don't talk - so whether this person lives near me or not is
of no difference. And left it that -- maybe I should have gotten all the internal pleasantries out, like I wish this
person who is leaving the best and yadda, yadda, yadda. But, I didn't feel that would bring anything to the conversation
so I didn't.
Now I stated the reason why I didn't care on the phone with
the person who brought up the topic and in an e-mail discussing the issue of not caring and other issues - The persons response
to the issue of not caring, was this persons leaving was mentioned in "passing
[this person] didn't think it would stir this type of reaction :)" - Where did I go wrong folks??? - I opened my mouth
and that is where I went wrong. I expressed my opinion, I was too honest - that is where I go wrong.
This event has been in a string of events similar and now I realize that I will try to the
best of my ability not to express my opinion when folks ask for it and/or make statements that would normally have me
flowing my honesty like diarrhea. I will not be honest to people who tell me that they can accept my honesty.
I now realize that most of the time people can't or choose not to. They take your honesty as anger, which I don't get
because if I was upset with I would tell you...maybe because I am honest.
tuesday, march 9, 2004
Relax, relate, release...
I have been biting my tongue on the Martha thing -- trust me I have.
But, I can't do it any longer. In my heart of hearts I knew that Martha was going to be convicted but I truly didn't
want it to happen. I know that she lied and was totally wrong in doing so, but I don't want her to lose all that she
has worked so hard to obtain. I feel bad because I do like what I know of her, I am a big fan of her products - dog
on it, I am just a big fan.
Now, do I think Martha should go to jail - NO!!! Will she most likely
- YES. The reason why I feel that Martha shouldn't go to jail is I truly feel they went after her hard because she is
a woman. During the dot-com bomb, lots of folks made these same types of decisions but they weren't prosecuted.
For the love of Earth these type of deals are made every darn day and folks don't get prosecuted - but Martha just being Martha
was sent to the slaughter to set an example. An example that folks will not follow and still continue to break the law.
Would I feel so strongly about this if I didn't like Martha - probably not, but I do and I allowed my opinion
if though it is very bias.
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9 mar 04 @ 10:19 am
monday, march 8, 2004
No Philly, no peace...
I was never able to go to Philly because of life trauma outside
of my existence.
To relieve myself from drama I usually take a drive out to
the G.W. Parkway pull over to a viewing stop place a towel on the hood of my car, hop on and pollute the world air with the
greatest hits from “Journey” while reading my latest book club choice. The above
makes me wonder if I am a forty-year-old white woman trapped inside of a fat 27-year-old black woman’s body. Maybe this is the reason why I rarely can get a black man or any man of color mind you, to pay one iota
of attention to me (no black man kryptonite jokes NG) - However, I have no problem with getting “the look” from white men
over 37.
Now I can’t
describe what “the look” is but it is not a downright ogle, but a sort of a look of interest – it is weird so I will digress. But, I bring up the men topic because my grandmother is pushing real hard for me to
have a man in my life. I mean to the point it is becoming annoying. I love me grams to no end, but this 'get a man push' is getting a little crazy. Yes, I have mentioned the desire to have a man around but not in the sense of a relationship – more so
a cuddle partner (not a hook-up partner) – but a guy to give hugs and receive hugs from, one to rub my back in the proper
way, one to hold hands with and be silent with once in a while. Not a long lasting,
short-lived or fleeting relationship guy – just a friend who is a little more than a friend.
I bring this all up because I just returned from one of those episodes (minus the view stop, sitting on the car and
reading part) traveling up and down the G.W. Parkway in the still of the night with the rain hitting my car window with enough
force to let me know that God is only a small knock away if and always when I need him – with the roar of “Journey” filling
the void of the car and nothing on my mind but the blackness and road ahead of me. Nothing,
sweet nothing – until I turn into my driveway turn off the music, kill the engine and then the whirlwind of drama returns,
so I come and unleash it on y'all to try and make sense of it all.
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friday, march 5, 2004
Proof I am a loser...
It is almost 7 PM and I am still in the office. Now we must
all understand that I was suppose to leave the office early to venture up to Philly to visit family and a friend for the weekend.
But being the loser that I am I decided to work the full day and then some, to catch up on the work that I never seem to catch
up on. So, as I wrap up the day in the next few minutes I tried to ponder what I could do tonight that would prove to
my doubtful cronies by blood that I do indeed have a life and I came up with nothing, nada, zilch, zip, zero. So, I
will go home - clean the bathroom for the fifth time this week...I like a sparkling potty!!! Try to get some sleep by watching
something so boring I will be forced to close my eyes for a whopping hour and then wake up and clean some more until it is
time for me to leave for Philly.
Now if my loser behind wasn't going to Philly I would go for a drive -- I love driving while
listening to some tunes. Driving with no destination in mind I can do for hours, but let me have to drive for a couple
of hours to a certain place and I get all grumpy like -- WTF???
Enough stalling it is time for me to get off of my ever-expanding ass to venture into "the
nothing" none as my home.
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Love Actually...
In the attempt to try and see some more quality films I went out
and saw "Love Actually" (man I love Colin Firth) last night at the Arlington Cinema N' Drafthouse. The movie was quite cute and the atmosphere was wonderful.
Come on - you get to eat and drink beer at tables while you watch a movie for only $4.50 (well the food and drinks are extra,
but damn cheap). I loved it so much I inquired about job openings -- there were nada, but they took my name and
number and stated they would call me at a later date. So, keeping my fingers crossed because this seems like a fun job,
but looks can be deceiving.
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thursday, march 4, 2004
Materialistic...
So, I have no money, but I want to buy a house, get my J.D. and
M.B.A. and wear Thomas Pink Shirts. For my age group I make pretty decent money but I don't see most of it because of Sallie Mae, Wellesley College and USAA. So what is a girl to do??? Get a part-time job - Yes, that is the answer - more work. Hey, I don't have
a life now, so why rush and try to obtain one at 27. I've being doing pretty well without one for the last 27 years,
so what is a couple more??? Now, working more hours doesn't scare me - but, will I make enough to really save some serious
dough??? I mean every job that I have been offered only pays about 7 to 8 bucks an hour and they want me to work during
the morning even though my application clearly states evenings and weekends only. So I am at a lost -- Any suggestions???
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wednesday, march 3, 2004
Something's missing...
After leaving work at an ungodly hour I had to make a pit-stop in
a local 24 hour grocery store -- while walking up and down the aisle searching for some food to eat, I realized that something
in my life is missing - a gay man. I thought there was some unspoken rule that fat women were suppose to have a best
gay male buddy - especially fat black women. So I am demanded my missing link -- I want my gay male friend and I want
him NOW!!!
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tuesday, march 2, 2004
A totally selfish but, small request...
Lord, I understand that you don't give me anything I can't handle
- but I am starting to truly wonder if I can handle all of this. My job is really hard right now because we are seriously
under staffed, but I can handle that alone. Hey I don't have a social life so work, work, work is fine just now.
My health has been okay except I keep gaining weight versus losing it and that's totally my fault because I'm NOT taking care
of myself. I WILL fixed it, because my body is starting to ache even worse now. But, Lord I don't know if I can
handle the above and this possible recurring health snip-it. I am pretty darn happy with my life even when it isn't
going the best, but if these things are growing back this is something I am going to need some outside intervention on --
so blessing me with a boyfriend that has interesting conversation, who is smart, wicked funny, loves to read, won't make fun
of my occasional speech
problem, who is gainfully employed, who doesn't live with his mother and/or father, who is nice and sweet, sincere, who is
bigger than me, tall, great teeth and who excepts me for who I am - I am pretty darn sure I could handle whatever you have
planned for me. Now I don't need a man but it would be nice to cuddle up with something that doesn't have four legs
or isn't related to me when I get down in the dumps.
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monday, march 1, 2004
Lusty, lusty, lusty...
Taste in the attraction
sense is quite weird. Now I know one truly never knows what they will like, one day versus the next. I mean I
have always had a "way out of my league" like in men -- tall, built like a super hero, drop-dead drooling looks and air of
confidence with hopefully a cleft-chin usually gets my head turning and mouth dropping. But, I can honestly say out
of the last three guys that turned my head, two were tall and had a cleft chin - the other was bald with the shiniest
head I had ever seen and something seemed very appealing about that shiny head. But, today I went truly away from my
"usual" head turn guy. And not did I truly go away from my "usual" head turn - but, ladies and boys I lusted - I truly
LUSTED!!!
I am coming out of the elevator to go on my quick lunch run and I almost bump into an average height, young
balding guy, wearing jeans, long sleeve shirt with tee under and brown boots. We exchange pleasantries as he held the
door open for me. And off he went in the opposite direction. I felt a shudder and I knew the world was coming
to an end because this guy was soooo not my "usual" type. I figured it was a fluke, a momentary lapse of judgment and
the world would not end - so I needed to forget this ever happened. So I start my car, pull out of my space and head
towards the exit (following the rules of the road) - who do I spy, my fluke lust boy. What do I spy him doing - sitting
atop his motorcycle smoking a cigarette. Smoking to me is quite disgusting but to each their own. I figured the
smoke coming in and out of his mouth would be the end all to be all - but no the motorcycle and some how his style overrode
my mind and I was in love lust at first sight. I am a motorcycle whore!!!
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Political once more...
I stayed away from making serious posts regarding politics for some
time. I guess it has a lot to do with the fact that I have democratic delusions - I believe if we all try and work together
we change truly change the world. But can that happen??? Is it possible??? I am truly unsure, look what
is happening in Haiti. Who is responsible for the removal (or kidnapping) of Aristide??? Is the US government behind it like many speculate or is it the Central African Republic government
or is this Guy Philippe??? Who knows and will we ever know?!?! Is it the right of the US or another country to remove
a president who was elected by 85% of the people twice - once in '90 and again in '00 because we may feel he is a tyrant?
I am split on this one folks and I felt I had pretty liberal views. But, I guess my split comes because I don't know
what has been happening in Haiti over the past few years and one hears so many negative things about both sides - what is
one to do? I guess do some research is what I SHOULD do!!!
And tomorrow is Super Tuesday and I get to vote which delegates I would like see go to the
Democratic Convention in July 2004. In the process of looking over the ballot I ran across the name LaRouche. I thought 'I have heard this name, I know this name.' But, it took me about twenty minutes to remember, then
it came back to me -- mid-day television on the weekend, a TV channel flip through passed a man discussing our political
world and how it could be changed - but I went through it trying to get to "She Spies" so I dismissed it. Where are my priorities folks???
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