The Philadelphia or Whatever Haiku Page

a.k.a Haikus for Youse


Philadelphia's City Hall

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haiku (HIE-koo) noun [Japanese : hai, amusement (from Chinese pa, farce) + ku, sentence, from Chinese ju.]
1. A Japanese lyric verse form having three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables, traditionally invoking an aspect of nature or the seasons.
2. A poem written in this form.


Abyssinia
Korean House
La Colombe
Moroccan Food
Waffles
Le Bec Fin
Pretzels
Pretzels
Eagles
Flyers
Beggars
Beggars
On Rent
Taxes
Culture
Lorenzo's
Fondue
On Driving
On Parking
On Cops
On Speeding
On Street Names
Reds
Dealing
Child's Play
City Entertainment
Shudder
Smoking
Alyans
Suburbians
Dating Blunders
Moving
Dr. Gray
Oomph
Samosa
The Nile
The Continental
T and R
Episode
Summer Joy
Summer Woe
Chenned
Double En-chen-dre
Taj Abyssinia




Abyssinia
A race against time.
Tear and grab, must eat quickly.
Injira expands!

Korean House
Dol Sot Be Bim Bop.
Hot stoneware? Extra dollar.
White man so stupid.

La Colombe
La Colombe. Let's put
On black lipstick and chain smoke.
Oh? They serve coffee?

Go to the top
Moroccan Food
Filthy bath towel
Ouch..my back! Is that an egg?
Moroccan Cuisine!

Waffles
Hurry, pass the milk.
Must wash down these waffles....Burp!
Shreekanth is coming!

Le Bec Fin:
If Le Bec Fin is
So good, how come they don't have
Cheese steaks and cross cuts?

Go to the top
Pretzels
Did you even think
To wash before handing me
That salty pretzel?

Pretzels
Do you enjoy the
Taste of mustard on a stale
Pretzel from a cart?

Eagles:
Why is the football
Season just six games long in
Philadelphia?

Go to the top
Flyers
I don't see what's so
Bad about ten thousand bucks
For Flyer's tickets.

On Beggars
Sir, would you like to
Contribute to my degree
At Mendicant U?

On Beggars
Stop telling me all
Of your ridiculous lies
You really want drugs.

Go to the top
On Rent
Seven hundred thou.
For a two bedroom condo?
Better than New York.

On Taxes
City taxes hurt
Even more when you realize
What you get for them.

On Culture
The Art Museum?
It's near that Rocky Statue
By Auguste Rodin.

Go to the top
Lorenzo's
Plastic Utensils?
Don't Even THINK about it
The Pizza Nazi!

Fondue
That fondue was great!
Now let's roast marshmellows on
your burning table.

On Driving
beware of old men
with jersey plates, big white cars-
hazardous drivers.

Go to the top
On Parking
we would visit you
if we could find parking but
we can't so we won't.

On Cops
policemen-so cool,
trolling for criminals-stop!
where's your license tag?

On Speeding
if you're caught speeding
on fifty-five, don't worry-
you teach at rowan.

Go to the top
On Street Names
philadelphia,
why are all your tree-named streets
not south of market?

Reds
Reds, Reds, Reds, Reds, Reds
Reds, Reds, Reds, Reds, Reds, Reds, Reds,
____, ____, ____, ____, Reds?

Dealing
Skyline to the north.
Burnt out buildings to the south.
Biz in the shadows.

Go to the top
Child's Play
Two girls playing ball.
Both avoid the small alley.
She says He died there.

City Entertainment
Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang!
Curious heads peer outside.
Night's entertainment.

Shudder
Come on, take a peek,
Shutters opened just a crack,
Yuck, naked fat guy.

Go to the top
Smoking
Bedroom lights turned low.
Got anything on under
That smoking jacket?

Alyans
Service with a smile?
Well, not exactly. Is that
duct tape on your butt?

Suburbians
A night on the town
Then the long, slow schlep back to
Washington Township

Go to the top
Dating Blunders
Schoolmarm seduction,
A soft whisper in her ear...
Did I call her Jill?

Moving
Cold...can't...feel...fingers.
(John Chen can't even FIND his.)
Helping Peter move.

Dr. Gray
Meet the good "doctor"
Johnathan Gray, Ph.D.
ha ha ha ha ha

Go to the top
Oomph
Tips from "Dr." Gray
Men: speak in full sentences
Women: just say "oomph".

Samosa
Wow! Really cheap food
Oh no, I don't feel so good
A hair from mom's chin

The Nile
Shake that blubbery
meditarranean gut!
...how appetizing.

Go to the top
The Continental
Don your tight black shirt.
Stand there. Sip your 8 buck drink.
Someone kill me now.

T and R
Feast your eyes, baby,
on my generous package.
Give me tenure now!

Episode
sorry to have missed
saturday fun. we'll call it,
"fondue episode."

Go to the top
Summer Joy
Frazzled professers
Ease slowly into soft chairs
Smiling for summer

Summer Woe
Rested Professors
Sip icy coolers and fret
About publishing

Chenned
"fondue episode"
marilyn calls it. we say,
"we've been chenned again!"

Go to the top
Double En-chen-dre
"chenning" has many
meanings. in this case you were
graced with our absence.

Taj Abyssinia
Ethiopian
Food prepared Indian style:
Injira Ghandi


This page created May Day 2000, Last edited, June 1, 2000
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HaikuMaster
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