My Spiritual Journey

Throughout my 20's and into my early thirties I was an alcohol abuser.During my 20's I worked in night clubs and alcohol was my constant companion. It was my escape and would become my worst enemy. My life esculated out of control. I got to the point where even with alcohol I could no longer escape. The alcohol was making my depression worse. My life was in shambles.

By this time I was no longer working in clubs. I was living out in the woods. I rarely left home.

The last year of drinking was the worst. Every night I would cry and I would pray for God to remove the desire. One night in desperation I cried out to God."Lord if you are there remove my desire to drink or let me die in my sleep tonight!".And I meant it. I no longer wanted to live.

The very next night I drank two 6 packs. Got in an argument with my daughter, and took some pills. The next thing I knew I was at out local psyche ward. I would spend 10 eye opening hours in this awful place.

I was in the back ward among people who had flipped over the edge from drug or alcohol abuse. One lady followed around a nurse begging for a beer. A sixteen year old girl who seemed normal at first,started thrashing around. She was immediately picked up and strapped to a bed as she screamed out Lucifer and other demonic things as though she were possesed. Others just sat there staring vacantly into space. I was mortified.What a waste of theese peoples lives. I couldn't bear the thought of ending up like them. They were so sad,so pitiful.

God had answered my prayer. And that was exactly what it took. After that my desire to drink was gone. My problems weren't. But now I knew I had much stronger faith which would help me in the years to come. |