EMOTIONAL FIRST AID


Stay away from media that repeats images of the killings over and over again. Repetitive images only serves to deepen the trauma. Repetitive images and being 'glued' to the television or other media saying the same thing or showing the same images over and over again, keep the witness in the throes of trauma and vulnerability. You can put the TV on every two hours to get the information you need, but do not get hooked on its traumatic images.

Gain perspective. Go out and walk. Take in the beauty about you.

Be aware that safety and trust issues will come up, if they have not done so already, especially for those who have memories of past safety issues being violated at any level (e.g. rape, incest, sexual harassment, earthquakes, battered, racism, tornadoes, floods, etc.).

Fight, flight, or freeze (or feeling paralyzed) might occur for many if safety issues have been breached. Adrenalin will be used as the primary source of energy, dry throat, tight feeling around the throat, hear beating fast or irregular, flared emotions such as tears and anger; stomach upset/churning, hypervigilence and 'jumpiness' at certain sounds, words, movements. Coldness to the body's extremities and feeling hot in the center may occur if in the 'fight' mode. Feeling cold and 'collapsed' feeling in the 'freeze' mode.

Psychological Response
You may have many different reactions to the tragedy.
* Some will be in shock, stunned and dissociated for a while.  They may feel numb and cut off from the terror and pain.
* Children may become 'clingy' and have nightmares. This is normal. It might last a few days or more but it will pass. They need to be reassured and protected.
*Fear and deep sorrow, confusion, anger and helplessness. These feelings are normal too and will pass.
*Anxiety, hyper-vigilant ('on guard') and easily irritated. Hypervigilance to certain words, movement, sounds, smells---anything that reminds you of potential threat or safety concerns.
*Anger at peers, authority figures, and magnification of any prior issues might occur
*Doubts of your own judgment, especially if it relates to anything related to safety and security as well as trust.
Emotional numbing (This will especially happen if glued to watching and hearing the anguish)

The body is in shock as input comes in through one's reality of what 'should be.' Reality changes which can force perception to change (but not always). If perception changes, then the anchors for those perceptions do too. And with that, the 'loss' of the status quo. And so the grief process starts:
Grief: *denial *shock *anger *frustrations *tears *sadness *depression *survivor's guilt *what if (what if 'x' happened, then 'y' would not/would have happened), *blame (ourselves/them!), and so forth.

Ultimately, acceptance of the new reality and the re-integration of a new stasis within the body and mind settles. Keep in mind that acceptance is not surrender nor is it agreeing with the forced changes. Nor is it a betrayal to those who have died or been affected.

It can be very difficult at times to get to the final part, which is acceptance. Is it betraying the need for justice if I accept the tragedy? Some people have a tendency to stay angry as a form of witnessing or as a way of keeping the loss alive. It may be a way to prevent what or whom we cared about from disappearing. Anger can also be used as a fuel for movement. Anger can be the driving force for initial dissension and for maintaining a crisis-oriented perspective as a way of life. This holds true for any area of loss, be it tears or bargaining or denial. Any area can be used as an initial reaction to help gain attention to an abusive situation. Healing requires that we go through all these areas and that we not use any of them as a way of life or as a final form to maintain attention. Maintaining such a stance taxes us physiologically and psychologically, and robs us of the present to find and implement better tools for today and tomorrow.

Be gentle with yourself and your expectations

People grieve differently. People react to changes and sudden loss in various ways. Remember that, in case they are not quite grieving or handling this change the way you are.

Note:
There have been situations for some people with bipolar behaviors, obsessive compulsive and other mental health illnesses having reactions or 'triggering' to the September 11th attacks. Safety can become a major factor in the fear. Please contact your mental health provider if this happens.

As the body/mind/soul tries to readjust to the loss and new reality, be aware that if a person is stuck in any one of these necessary areas, or favors or uses one area and avoid the others, the grief will be prolonged or not resolved. If this coping method has been done for previous traumas, those previous traumas may arise at this time along with this new one.

Additionally: Stereotyping and reactionary anger are common when there is a sense of helplessness, lack of control, and the person is used to 'doing' rather than 'being' as part of their normal way of living. Racism and other forms of 'isms' as well as extreme nationalistic pride at the expense of other groups may arise if the grieving process is not allowed to continue and make its way out. Many get stuck in the 'blame' part of the grief process, with anger building up as the "fight, flight, freeze" reactions short-circuits normal responses and reflections. Some may make the 'blame' part as their way of life and perception of reality.

Physiological response
You will notice that many symptoms are 'extremes' as well as expressions of 'fight, flight, freeze' responses of the immune system.

It is natural to have a physical reaction to this stress, so don't let these scare you. It is good to recognize signs of activation and not to be scared by them:
* heart beating faster
*fatigue to being wanting to be busy all the time *nausea *headaches *sweating *tunnel-like vision or hearing (some sights and words are muffled while others seem pronounced) * thirst (Make sure not to get dehydrated)
* foggy feeling. Surrealistic feeling.
* difficulty breathing
*difficulty sleeping to having insomnia * blood pressure going up
* stomach tightening, knot in the throat
* skin cold and racy thoughts. They will go away if we don't fight them.

*wanting to eat too much, salty or sweet food, and might want to engage in addictive behaviors such as excessive use of alcohol or drugs.The best 'antidote' is to try to be aware of those and other impulses, and to be accepting that you are deeply upset ­­ and that it will pass.

*Decreased sexual desire or wanting too much sexual activities

Some of our old unresolved traumas may get re-triggered. If you feel that you are in a flashback or re-experiencing an old trauma as though it is present: Clap your hands or stomp your feet, while you say outloud your age, today's date, and place, and your full name as you use it today.

Adrenalin might become the core source of energy for the body. This is another way that addictions may flare up. (For example, picking up that cigarette or going 'off the wagon' or drinking more coffee or caffeine, increase of sugar)

Symptoms can be very diverse. They can be stable, or come and go. They can occur in clusters.

Helpful response
We can help our nervous system recuperate its balance by understanding how it discharges when it is over-stimulated. If we feel like:
*trembling, shaking or sweating
*experiencing warmth in our body
*hearing or sensing the stomach gurgling
*breathing deeply
*crying or laughing

This is good, it means that we are discharging some of this the energy and coming back into balance. Mostly, we want to just observe what's happening in our body without judgment, just watching and understanding that our body has the innate ability to regain its balance if we just let it feel what it feels, and give it the time to do what it wants to do.

What to do
It is very important to stay 'grounded.' If you are feeling disoriented, confused, upset and in disbelief, you can do the following exercise:
Sit on a chair, feel your feet on the ground, press on your thighs, feel your behind on the seat, and your back supported by the chair; look around you and pick six objects that have red or blue. This should allow you to feel in the present, more grounded and in your body. Notice how your breath gets deeper and calmer. You may want to go outdoors and find a peaceful place to sit on the grass. As you do, feel how your bottom can be held and supported by the ground.

This other exercise will allow you to feel your body as a 'container' to hold your feelings. Gently pat the different parts of your body with your hand, with a loose wrist. Your body may feel more tingling, more alive, sharp, you may feel more connected to your feelings.

Another exercise is to tense your muscles, each group at a time. Hold your shoulders with arms across your chest, tighten your grip on them and pat your arms up and down. Do the same with your legs, tighten them and hold them from the outside, patting through their length. Tighten your back, tighten your front, then gently release the tension. This may help you or your loved one feel more balanced. Sports, aerobics and weight training help avoid depression and are a channel for aggression.

If you believe in prayer or in some sort of greater power, pray for the rest of the souls of the dead, for the healing of the wounded, for consolation for the grieving. Pray for peace, for understanding and wisdom and for the forces of goodness to prevail. Do not give up faith in the ultimate goodness of being and keep your trust in humanity. And last, just know that we, humans, are extremely resilient and have been able to recuperate from the most horrendous tragedies. Furthermore we have the ability to let ourselves be transformed by our traumas, when we heal them and open ourselves to the possibility

Do's and Don'ts
Get together with family and friends and support each other.
Organize and meet in community groups in neighborhoods, YMCAs and religious centers.
Don't be isolated.
Try to get the information about your loved ones ASAP, watch the news for limited times and then turn it off for a while. Again, you can put the TV on every two hours to get the information you need, but do not get hooked on its traumatic images.
It is crucial to refocus on your resources, anything that helps you feel calmer, stronger and more grounded refocus on all your support systems. Do things that keep your mind occupied, such as watching a movie, knitting, gardening, cooking, playing with children or pets or going in nature.
Stay active and volunteer help in the hospitals or give blood. You can send money, help staff help lines for distressed people.
Encourage people and yourself not to tell their stories in a repetitive way which ultimately deepens the trauma, and instead support and hear each other about this real tragedy/catastrophe, but with interruptions of the story from beginning to end. Keep it as cognitive as possible and allow your emotions to be expressed in a rational framework. This will help you to process feelings without overwhelming yourself and not get stuck in obsessive thinking.

For most of us, we are witnesses. Therefore, we are vulnerable to getting second-hand trauma. We are not in a direct life-threatening situation. What would be of benefit to all concern is to use time as an ally and take action that the body will see as being helpful to it and its life. For example, giving blood, helping neighbors and friends through this global and national grief by listening and framing it in ways that will help people continue with their lives; getting politically active, helping the homeless, the children, any kind of humanitarian act that helps another soul be more in their dignity--these are some of the examples.

Help your children understand in ways that are not overwhelming. For example, young children might need breaks from the television imagery. Let your children know that it is okay for them to not know what to do. Let them know that there are responsible and competent adults who are handling this by each doing their specialized jobs. Give examples of the firefighters, police officers, doctors and nurses, detectives--all working to help. Your children may want to 'do' something to be involved. They can write letters to the people being affected, for example. Depending on the age of the child, they can participate in some community activity.

To reiterate, honor your body. Honor your heart. You have received an emotional wound, much like a physical wound. The body does not know the difference. Only that the immune system has been assaulted and is now trying to either do the 'fight, flight, freeze' reaction or to go into a healing mode.

Original Writers: Gina Ross and Peter Levine of the SomaSensing community, with contributions from Hyla Cass, Darling G. Villena-Mata, and Babette Rothchild. Special thanks to Roger Melton for his flashback intervention method. Further additions by Darling G. Villena-Mata in the writing for this website.

For more information regarding the SomaSensing community, you may contact Gina Ross at ginaross@aol.com For information on the impact of societal trauma on our overall well being, you may contact D. Villena-Mata at traumahealing@circlepoint.org

FEEL FREE TO DISTRIBUTE THIS INFORMATION. PLEASE USE THIS INFORMATION AS EDUCATIONAL. IF SYMPTOMS ARE PRESENT, PLEASE SEEK APPROPRIATE ASSISTANCE FROM YOUR LOCAL AREA.

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These articles and opinions of the authors do not constitute the endorsement of InnerMidst Magazine nor its publisher, CirclePoint or any of its staff. The articles are solely the opinions of the authors.These writings are not tools to be substituted for ongoing assistance from a qualified person who is versed in trauma. Please seek help from your local area for professional assistance in letting go of traumas. We also encourage you to do research and expand your knowledge. Be a responsible consumer and seek a variety of sources to meet your needs and to empower yourself. You understand that what is provided is for educational and philosophical purposes. You are soley responsible for your choices, including seeking medical and other healing care.

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