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The Hailstorm & the Turtle |
Hendrix divides us up as to how we use our energy. We basically conserve
it by drawing it into ourselves or we explode it outwards toward our partner
and the world. These differences become even more pronounced when we feel
hurt, frustrated, or angry. He names the conservers "Minimizers"
and the exploders "Maximizers". Usually in any couple there will
be one of each. Here are some of their characteristics. Which one are you?
| Implodes feeling inward | Explodes feelings outward |
| Diminishes feelings | Exaggerates feelings |
| Denies dependency needs | Depends upon others |
| Denies needs | Exaggerates needs |
| Shares little of inner world | Is (compulsively) open |
| Excludes others from private space | Brings others into private space |
| Withholds feelings and thoughts | Is clinging and over-giving |
| Has rigid self-boundaries | Has diffuse self-boundaries |
| Is inner-directed | Is outer-directed |
| Seeks council from self | Seeks council from others |
| Thinks mainly about self | Focuses on others |
| Acts and thinks compulsively | Acts and thinks impulsively |
| Tries to dominate others | Is submissive and manipulative |
| Tends to be passive-aggressive | Alternates between aggressive & passive |
