When I was a single man, I rarely prepared food for myself. Pretty much all I kept in the house was tea bags, to make endless cruddy pitchers of plain Lipton iced tea. About every quarter or so, I might go to the grocery store and buy a weekís supplies, which I would go through in a couple days, usually. If there was peanut butter (and there often was), it was in the short fat jars, and with an extreme effort of will, I could usually make those jars last for three servings instead of just two. If there was cereal and milk, I could only eat that so fast, and so it would often last three or even four days.
The height of my bachelorhood culinary adventures was probably the Highly Spiced Turkey Dog on Toast entree. This was the hot, meaty meal I would enjoy for four to six evenings (depending on the number of dogs in the package) after a grocery shopping trip. Here is my recipe for that scrumptious repast.
Ingredients:
2 Turkey Hot Dogs
4 slices very wheaty, nutty bread
Salt
Mustard
Mayo
Pepper
Anything Else in the Kitchen
Directions:
Using the grill under the oven, place two pieces of wheat toast under the flame. Over-toast these slices until they are too dark to eat. Throw these two slices away. Place two more pieces under the flame, and watch them very closely. When they are yummy-dark on one side, flip them over and toast the other side half-way, until they are just lightly brown. Put aside to cool.
Boil to turkey hot dogs in an overlarge, tea-smelling saucepan. Boil the dogs on a high heat until they have completely split open, around the ends and down the side. Continue boiling. Boil a bit more. Turn the heat to very high, and cook the dogs until they are quite, quite boiled and cooked.
On the darker side of the toast, spread mustard on one slice, mayo on the other. Grasp the hot dogs out of the boiling water, dropping them back in when fingers burn. Stab dogs with a fork, and load them onto the counter or the bottom of another saucepan, keeping them off the floor and nasty stove-top. With a knife, split the dogs open from nave to chops, and place them middle-side up, side by side, on the mustard-covered toast slice. Vigorously add salt to the exposed dog and toast. Now add more pepper than you think youíd usually like. Top with salt and pepper. Now place the mayo-spread piece of toast on top. Slice diagonally. Serve with water, iced tea, and Marlboro reds. Repeat until out of dogs.
Serves almost 1, depending on number of repetitions. May be served
for breakfast, lunch, tea, or dinner. Most of the fat content is
in the Mayo, so Mayo may be left out of the recipe for the ìLiteî version.
Not recommended for use with Gin.
