Take a jar of Peanut Butter, preferably chunky (thank you, George Washington Carver for having the insight as to how we might benefit by spreading a paste made from this simple legume). Spread as much as you can fit on two pieces of nine grain bread.

Add not a dollop, not a drop, not a dab but a whole friggin' jar (okay, a bit of overkill, but use a LOT) of strawberry jam on top of one piece of bread.

Cover the jelly with some other concoction you want ( I use wheat germ but it may be too healthy for some). Combine the two pieces. Get a glass of milk, water, cup o' tea, scotch, who the heck cares 'cause your going to need something to wash it down.

Eat the thing. Sure, some jam will drop out of the sides but that's part of the fun.

Now, don't you feel just a bit better?