therapist, anxious, depressed, problems

Sometimes you can help yourself. There are times however, you can't get relief by yourself and you become more anxious, depressed, hopeless or confused. It is common for people to think they should be able to think their way through a situation alone and "pull themselves up by their bootstraps." Some people talk to friends or family members and some read self-help books. Seeking therapy is seen by some as a sign of weakness rather than strength.

But talking to family members can pose difficulty as there is some feeling of shared responsibility and defensiveness regarding the "problem." Indeed, the family may be part of the problem as a source of hurt, anger or disappointment. Turning to them may actually make you feel worse. Turning to friends may take too much of a toll on the relationship, making it a one-sided friendship which wears thin after a time. While self-help books are interesting and can help map out the nature of your feelings, for the most part, they do not relieve the distress. In talking to a therapist, you get the help you need with the objectivity that neither family or friends can offer.

If a relationship (or relationships in general) is causing distress, it will take a relationship to relieve the distress. When you talk to yourself, you don't get many new ideas! Think for a moment, of looking at yourself in a mirror. See anything startling? No. You see the same image as the day before and the day before that (unless you cut your hair.) Compare that experience to looking at your image in a photograph. It is a completely different experience. This is because you are now looking at yourself from the vantage point of a third party and have the opportunity to see yourself as others might. It is that moment of objectivity which exemplifies psychotherapy. You can stand away from yourself and look. It is the therapeutic relationship itself which facilitates objectivity and creates the opportunity for change. Most people have heard of hypnosis and most people can be hypnotized by someone else. But effective self-hypnosis is rare. Once more, it is the human relationship which drives the process.