By Carlos Cardona
Something strange is happening to me,
I've tried to make it happen before,
I knew it was a freedom I would want,
Enlightenment (sigh!) isn't possible without it, so say all the books,
They are full of wonderful, difficult-to-follow advice,
Advice is easy, detachment is hard!
Oh, it's all very well for gurus to give such advice,
It's easy for them, they've given up the "world" (of desire)
And all the pleasures, they gave up the battle
And went around the enemy! That's one way to win!
The rest of us non-monks, us monk-eys,
We have to battle every day, we fight lust when we're lonely,
And love when we're not.
Yes, love is a battle joined, not a battle won,
For when that golden moment comes we wait for,
When they say those words we're longing to hear,
That's when longing eases and fear, nay, terror!
Begins to loom like the Phoenix out of the ashes of our loneliness,
Fear of ever losing them.
This is the real Bastille, a deep dungeon of Love walled,
Outside the walls a few rare ones are free,
Free from fear because free from self,
Free from desire, result, and attachment.
Something strange is happening to me now,
I've met someone so lovely, so wonderful,
So smart and funny -- why am I not hoping for love?
Now, I'm not dead, I am longing for her body!
Maybe "life experience", that old abstract,
Has beaten concrete restraint into my side,
"True love", if it exists, has failed so far,
What makes me think it could work now? Absolutely nothing.
So I fail to hope for love, for once,
I fail in my usual romantic, un-male-like vulnerability,
This "Unrequited Romantic Hero" role in my own private opera,
I fail to long for that earthly delight, that oneness we long for in relation,
I feel different now, like I don't really know myself anymore,
I'm not behaving like I should!
Is this what they mean by The Golden Mean
Between the extremes of love and loneliness?
Not so fast, Flakey Foont!
Fast forward a week and take another look Mr. Natural,
Attachment, longing, and loneliness strike again!
I feel much better now, thank you.