Good Jew Jokes

 

Q: Who is Israel's favorite Internet provider?

A: Netanyahoo

 

Q: What's the name of facial lotion made for Jews?

A: Oil of Oy Vay

 

Q: Hear about the new movie that's frightening Jewish women?

A: It's called, "Debby Does Dishes."

 

Q: What is the technical term for a divorced Jewish woman?

A: "Plaintiff."

 

Q: How did the Jewish kid verbally abuse his playmates?

A: 'Your mother pays retail!""

 

Q: In the Jewish doctrine, when does a fetus become a human?

A: When it graduates from med school.

 

Q: What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails so long and beautiful?

A: Nothing, nothing at all.

 

Q: Why are Jewish people are the most optimistic people in the world?

A: They have some cut off before they even know how big it will get.

 

Q: What did they call the new Jewish-Japanese restaurant?

A: "So-Sue-Mi."

 

Q: Define: Genius:

A: A "C" student with a Jewish mother.

 

Q: What do you get when you cross a matzo ball with LSD?

A: A trip to Israel.

 

Q: What would you call a bloodthirsty Jew on a rampage?

A: Genghis Cohen.

 

Q: Why did the Moyel retire?

A: He just couldn't cut it anymore.

 

Q: If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be?

A: "A fur coat".