Good Jew Jokes


Q: Who is Israel's favorite Internet provider?

A: Netanyahoo


Q: What's the name of facial lotion made for Jews?

A: Oil of Oy Vay


Q: Hear about the new movie that's frightening Jewish women?

A: It's called, "Debby Does Dishes."


Q: What is the technical term for a divorced Jewish woman?

A: "Plaintiff."


Q: How did the Jewish kid verbally abuse his playmates?

A: 'Your mother pays retail!""


Q: In the Jewish doctrine, when does a fetus become a human?

A: When it graduates from med school.


Q: What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails so long and beautiful?

A: Nothing, nothing at all.


Q: Why are Jewish people are the most optimistic people in the world?

A: They have some cut off before they even know how big it will get.


Q: What did they call the new Jewish-Japanese restaurant?

A: "So-Sue-Mi."


Q: Define: Genius:

A: A "C" student with a Jewish mother.


Q: What do you get when you cross a matzo ball with LSD?

A: A trip to Israel.


Q: What would you call a bloodthirsty Jew on a rampage?

A: Genghis Cohen.


Q: Why did the Moyel retire?

A: He just couldn't cut it anymore.


Q: If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be?

A: "A fur coat".