This has been a delightful afternoon!

I've been screwing around and accomplishing absolutely nothing!

Unless you work with me, of course; in that case, I've been extremely busy.

Anyway, the good folks at The Corsair posted these delightful pics from Bush's nomination speech:

Apparently, they offered some sort of candy buffet before the press conference. Charlie makes an excellent point about this (and I quote) - "Maybe a kid like this makes one rethink one's position on abortion?"

A salient point. Maybe he'd support Roe v. Wade afterall. Hell - he might even advocate abortions! Like war, I hear the terrible twos can change a man...

Also just for fun, visit this site for a lark.
Here's Orlando Bloom calling his dealer:

Brill.

Aye aye aye, it’s been a long time since I’ve updated this. However, the nomination of that pro-corporate, anti-choice, right-wing jackass to the SCOTUS is pretty scary stuff.
I’ve already written a note to Senator Feinstein about it, since her website contains a fluffy statement about “due diligence” and “reserving judgment” while we all know that she approved his nomination to the DC Circuit Court in 2003. I also sent Barbara Boxer a note asking her to kick Feinstein in the ass if she sees her in the hallway. OK, I didn’t say that, but I know Barbara’s got my back.

On a more important topic:
Jimmy Doohan is no longer with us!

They finally decided to beam him up, I guess. Quelle pity. I hear he was a decent guy.

Well, we’re gearing up for Thursday’s Music in the Park at the Plaza De César Chavez y Quetzlcoatl. Yes, I know Greg Kihn is playing, but Aja Vu is opening. Let me tell you, if you’ve never seen a really good Steely Dan cover band… well… shucks. Just trust me – they’re very good and you can leave before Greg Kihn starts sucking, which is about the same time his set starts.

Tomorrow night her clients will return home and Gini will be done with her two-week petsitting job in Atherton (the most expensive place to live in the country, I should mention). I’m torn between feeling bad that she doesn’t get to stay in the ten million dollar house anymore (she loves sitting on the patio, smoking cigarettes and looking out across the vast expanse of lawn between the main house and the guesthouse) and feeling happy that she’ll be joining me back in our little hovel again. Yes, my two-week pseudo-vacation from married life is drawing to a close. It’s about freakin’ time.

On paper, it sounds pretty good. In fact, several of my single friends have made comments to that effect. “Dude! You can stay up late, drink beer, surf porn on the Internet, play video games and watch whatever you want on TV!” Funny, but they’re single and I fear I now know way too much about their lifestyles. Let’s just say I won’t be sleeping on their couches any time soon. Although I will freely admit to doing all of those things over the last two weeks, I don’t think of it as any sort of special treat. Rather, these are things I could just as easily have done with my wife present, although I might slightly curtail the frenzied masturbation over granny porn . (Sorry, that was uncalled-for.)

At any rate, they’ll be back on Saturday night, which means we’re going to spend one last night at the mansion together. Actually, we spent last night there as well, but that was a fluke. I was just going over for a visit and planned to rush home in time for a decent night’s sleep, but I became engrossed in a downward spiral of pool, darts, Beaujolais and my beautiful wife. That’s all you need to know about that, but I will admit to using cologne from an 18 year-old boy’s bathroom this morning. Let me tell you – the “Axe effect” ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. I have yet to see a single pair of lace panties fly across the room and into my lap, which, unless I misunderstood the ad campaign, is usually followed by a raging catfight in a vat of whipped cream and/or baby oil. Maybe the ladies are just waiting until I’m off work, but I get a distinct feeling that the advertisers lied to me. In their defense, though, I must admit that this is some pretty powerful stuff. I put it on at 7AM and it’s still pungent at 3PM, which may or may not be a good thing. I guess teenage girls need a man to leave his musky scent all over the place as a sort of territorial marker, not unlike Lemurs in a stinkfight .

OK, where was I? Oh yes, we’re spending one more night in the biggest friggin’ house I’ve ever slept in. This is one of those houses where the Picassos are real and the lady of the house has several pictures of herself with Bill Clinton. The husband/father is a venture capitalist, which is sort of like a loan shark without the unpleasant kneecapping. I may talk to him about my idea for drinking games based on Chutes and Ladders® and Candyland®, which I’m sure would be a hit with the adolescent drinking crowd, but I digress. Anyway, they’ve got a fucking Porsche SUV in the garage, flanked by the obligatory BMW and Audi. The piéce de résistance, however, is the downstairs game room, which has a pool table and two big-ass TV sets, one for the X-Box and one for the PS2.

Rich people piss me off.

When we first went over, we had to stay in the guesthouse, which affords a lovely view of their backyard and main house. The whole thing looks like a Thomas Kinkade painting, only more realistic and not so infused with “light” or "bad taste". I should note that the guesthouse is bigger than our entire condo and is used by the children’s teenage friends as a sort of local retreat (although I’m pretty sure they’re smoking pot and having sex back there) where they can get away from their nosy parents. As if the local kids don’t all have their own bedrooms, bathrooms and probably wine cellars. Whatever. The end result is that there’s a constant risk of running into some strange kid in the middle of the night when you want to walk around the yard naked. You’ve just got to keep your eyes open.

OK, that’s my story. I’ve got to remember to bring the camera tonight so we can take pictures. Seriously, people aren’t going to believe some of this shit.

My grandmother, Gladys Alvarez Archibald Muirhead Mead, iron-fisted matriarch and long-time advocate of eugenics among the tall people of Earth, has passed away at the age of 97.

While her last few years were spent in a fuzzy world somewhere between lucid and completely bonkers, she would sometimes actually recognize me (at least that's how I perceived it) and not just assume that I was either from the cast of J.A.G. or a Ring Lardner character. She had been off all medication for some time, but simply refused to die. Actually, I think she was the victim of a cruel cosmic practical joke where the daughter of "America's Family Doctor" and an advocate of pneumonia as "the old person's friend" can't flippin' die to save her life. I was beginning to think she'd live until her 100th birthday (Xmas, 2007), then expire dramatically at exactly midnight.

Like all of us, she was far from perfect. Some may say that she had a tendency to try to control those around her (and they would be right), but I think she genuinely cared about us and simply thought we were throwing our lives away by focusing on happiness rather than financial security. Heck, she was married three times and nearly all of them yielded both! Although she never really understood us kids with our long hair, new math and unconventional philosophies, she knew when we were happy. I know she truly loved Gini and Lynn (Gin's mum) despite the occasional "they're such cute little people" tone I detected in her voice. No shit! She seriously believed that tall people were the master race! Maybe we helped change that... nah, probably not. At least we loved cats, Mark Twain, Turk Murphy, cold chocolate chip cookies, tea with fresh lemon from the garden and a nice glass of champagne.

Anyway, a chunk of my life that occupied 124 Kenyon Ave for the last 39 years (and 30 more before that) has broken off and drifted away. Her church ("thank God it's more social than religious") will offer cold champagne and hot Dixieland in her honor, but I'll keep the joy of the Tiger Rag and the bittersweet first movement of Mahler's 10th just for her.

Cheers.

Yes, I'm fucking lazy.

I'm also completely fed up with the government.

The fact that this administration can essentially do whatever the fuck it pleases with no repercussions has destroyed my belief in democracy as we know it. In fact, democracy as we know it is no more. At the rate we're going, we'll be lucky if there's another presidential election in our lifetimes. There certainly won't be a legitimate election, that's for sure.

When Bush can come out and say that the Patriot Act is working well and shouldn't be changed...

...despite the fact that some psycho with a chainsaw can walk across the border untouched... well, shit... I don't know what to say. At least we've stopped people from sharing Star Wars torrents. Thank heavens. No more Star Wars, but I can still get my copy of Seymore Butts - The Anal Interpreter. Nice work, guys. Way to look out for George Lucas.

Here's a comparison picture for your enjoyment:

Think of that next time you see a Bush at the podium.

You can have your Paris Hilton ad, but I'll take the Real Gilligan's Island pie fight any day.

Just FYI, I'll be drinking heavily for the next week in Las Vegas, so don't worry if I don't answer the phone, respond to emails or download porn. I'll be back eventually. Honest.

In the meantime, HAPPY FRIDAY THE 13TH!!!

When I woke to see the evil Count Blacula staring down at me

I knew it was going to be a good day!

Hell, it's Bea Arthur's birthday!!

Irritatin', castigatin', bound to stop your masturbatin' - Right on, Bea Arthur!

Oy, I need to get away! After last night's Homeowners' Association meeting, which included the valuable information that we took a total of two bids on our $35K termite tenting job and that the reason we can only have two cats is that "it's in the CC&Rs", I'm ready for a five-day drunk. All I have to do is survive my 3:00 appointment with our tax guy this afternoon...

I won't even go into the $1000 tailight repair that's causing me to drive a rented Jeep all week. Suffice to say that it's like driving a shoebox on rollerskate wheels. We did, however, buy Gini's new Mini Cooper S the other night. She's stoked, I'm happy, everything is beautiful. Just in the nick of time, too. Her Passat, knowing it was one month away from end-of-lease, has begun to self-destruct. The tires are wasted, the brakes are shot, the interior plastic is falling off... in short, it's a piece of shit. They must program the internal computers for planned obsolescence or something. It's really bad and will likely cost us an arm and a leg to get it in condition to return. Fuckers.

OK, that's all. Have a nice week and screw around with the Flooble Chatterbox to your right. If I can get it to work, it might be pretty neato.

If your wife runs away to another state before your wedding, leaves the ring behind and says she's been kidnapped, you might want to consider looking for another fiancée. I'd say door number two might have a better prize than what's behind the curtain:

Honestly, is she that great a catch? She looks like a sub-milf quality, middle-aged woman with obvious commitment issues, if you ask me.

"Every dime that finds its way into Cuba first finds its way into Fidel Castro's blood-thirsty hands.... American consumers will get their fine cigars and their cheap sugar, but at the cost of our national honor."

- Tom DeLay 2004

(Thanks to DU for the pic)

Yes, that's a Hoyo de Monterrey; straight outa Havana.

Fucktard.

"The time has come that the American people know exactly what their Representatives are doing here in Washington. Are they feeding at the public trough, taking lobbyist-paid vacations, getting wined and dined by special interest groups? Or are they working hard to represent their constituents? The people, the American people, have a right to know... I say the best disinfectant is full disclosure, not isolation."

- Tom DeLay 1995

Fucktard.

...so little time.

Whatever.

So we spent last night watching six Miss USA contestants go through the Fear Factor paces. You know, the usual drill where they pull flags off a mesh cage as it hangs from a speeding helicopter, usually covered in fish guts or spiders (BTW, there's a video on that FF link that's totally nightmarish). Last night, however, they seemed to really focus on spraying the girls (in bikinis, of course) with cold water. Not that I'm complaining or anything, mind you, it's more a commentary on our society in general. Must we always objectify women?!!

Sorry, I'm just kidding. Of course we must!!! This is America, buddy! U.S.A.!!!

Anyway, like good little Americans, after Fear Factor we watched the actual pageant. Zowie! Maybe I'm just jaded or hypercritical of the overly objectified female form, but most of these women were horrid looking! Bags under their eyes, chicken necks, hair circa 1989; hell, Miss California had cankles! I was appalled! It was so bad, I almost wanted to send them flowers. Luckily, they were in the beautiful city of Baltimore, which, unbeknownst to me, is "The Charm City" and "America in Miniature". That fucking kills me. The home of the Bromo-Seltzer Tower and the Great Blacks in Wax Museum is somehow "America in Miniature". OK. Have fun with that.

Actually, the whole show was a friggin' Baltimore Department of Tourism ad. Seriously, shit like this is so lame. "Welcome to Maryland, where the sewer meets the sea™. Today we'll be hitting crabs with hammers and visiting Edgar Allen Poe's grave." BTW, if you ever get to Baltimore, Poe's grave is in a decrepit old churchyard downtown. There is a feral cat colony there, which is fitting, as I understand Poe used to do his best writing with a cat perched on his shoulder. I shit you not; I read that somewhere.

Anyway, I fell asleep before they announced the winner, but I thing it was Miss Something from Somewhere. No biggie. It's not like I'm going to run into her at Best Buy or anything. If I did, I probably wouldn't recognize her without the vaseline on her teeth and the tape pushing her boobs together. Object!

TOPIC SHIFT!

So, I'm trying to get our taxes together. I know, it's April 12th and I'd better hurry my ass up. We're waiting for Gini's bank statements from B of A, which she had to order at the last minute after we realized that we didn't have them all. Drat! This will be my first year filing an extension with the IRS. Not that that's a big deal, but it's sort of a rite of passage. I'm now officially a member of society! I'm overextending myself! God bless America!

FYI, most Americans think that the tax system is too confusing. Check out that poll and tell me one thing: Who the fuck is in the 1% of respondents who don't know how many people are living in their household?!! Crackheads? Transients?
I also like the fact that, while 70% find the current tax system too complicated, only 45% would be willing to give up any deductions to make it simpler. Yeah, that's right - fuck everybody else! Make mine easier and leave it the same!

Thank goodness for Wine Day! Yes, this Saturday is my 39th birthday and it happens to fall on Wine Day! The limo has been rented, the hotel has been booked and life is good! I actually get a day to relax and forget about selling off old restaurant equipment for Dining Services. Oh man, did I tell you? I'm trying to sell shit like this:

Anybody interested?
I'm going over to the Dining Commons in an hour or so to sell off several thousand ugly butter dishes or something. Loads of fun.

That's my world and, to cop a line from JT (and I don't mean Justin Timberlake), welcome to it.

Yes, I know you're wondering what the fuck that means.
"Happy Holidays"? Are you out of your cotton-pickin' mind?
Well, here in sunny California, yesterday was César Chavez Day. That's right, we get Thursday off in celebration of the master of the lettuce boycott. Not a bad deal, but why Thursday? It's bad enough to have St. Patrick's day on a Thursday, but a stay-home-from-work holiday? What a bunch of crap.
Thus, most of the management types in our little State auxiliary are leveraging a four-day weekend out of this. I, of course, being no less a slacker, decided that we should just close the Warehouse today. What the hell difference will it really make, eh?
Oops. It seems that there are some other branches of the company that have things going on. So, in the interest of company solidarity and making sure that the Stadium has its urgent deliveries, I'm sitting at my desk while many of my peers are sipping tall drinks in the privacy of their homes. Bastards. Admittedly, all I did yesterday was play GTA in my PJs, but is that so wrong?!!!

*UPDATE*
The good people at UPS have put my packages (many of which are urgent Next Day Airs) on a different truck. Yup, my Next Days are now an hour late and I'm going on three hours at work when I should be sitting on my ass at home. Unpleasant.

Oh well, I guess this is my penance for coming in late after the Ash show on Tuesday. Sorry, but Gini loves this guy:

Thus, we have to stay until they load out their gear so she can talk to this beautiful man. Hey, what can I say? They're a great band and he's more than a little handsome. I could do worse. She could be a big Limp Bizkit fan...

OK, now I have to drive five boxes to the Stadium. Fuck-a-doodle.

OK, just a quick note.
I wrote a little addendum to my weekly Discrepancy Report™ at work today that I thought you might enjoy. I'd begun by noting that today is Waffle Day in Sweden and how, in addition to their famous pancakes, all they need are some danish from next door and maybe a cup of Swiss Miss instant cocoa to totally claim breakfast in the name of Sweden. I then went on to discuss today in the following manner:

OK, while I know we think of today as Good Friday (from the German Gottes Freitag or God's Friday, which was not a particularly "good" day for a certain carpenter or any of his friends), the crucifixion wasn't celebrated on this day until the 8th or 9th century. Before that, it was the feast day celebrating Mary's "visit" by the Holy Ghost. Early Christians actually celebrated many things on this day, such as the creation of Adam, the fall of Lucifer, the parting of the Red Sea, God's test of Abraham, etc.
Basically, it was a great day to celebrate!
Before that, March 25th was used by many people for many things (and, of course, it still is), as it's the first Friday (traditionally a feast day) after the Vernal Equinox (the beginning of Spring), upon which pagans celebrate the rebirth of the Earth after Winter. That said, let's all have a hot cross bun and wait for the rabbit, er, resurrection.
In the words of Jesus, "it is finished" (John 19:30).

I thought that was pretty "fair and balanced" of me, don't you think? I managed to make my point without even mentioning Mithra, Osiris, Dionysus, Adonis or any of the other popular deities who experienced a "rebirth" around about the Vernal Equinox back in the day. C'mon, Jesus wasn't all that special in the early "Christian Era". He was just the focus of the latest mystery cult to emerge in an attempt to get all the pagans under one roof. It's pretty simple, really: Just co-opt all of the pagan celebrations and turn them into "holy" days. Getting the pagans to worship a new god is a bit trickier, but then I guess that's why Paul wrote all those letters. Silly Galatians; pantheons are for kids!
But I digress.

In what I believe will be a very scary neo-con Easter parade, I think we're going to see our own little Passion Play in Florida this weekend. If Terri Schiavo dies on Sunday, you can bet we'll get to see even more of Randall Terry and the rest of the Right To Life crowd comparing her to Jesus. The only problem (well, one of many) is that Jesus didn't have a CAT scan that looked like a goddamn milkshake. He also wasn't a bulimic who had a heart attack and wound up in the ironic situation of having to be force fed for 15 years.

That's it. I'm done. "Just a quick note", eh? Sorry, but I hate this shit.
Has anybody heard what's going on with Tom DeLay lately? Of course not! Terri Schiavo is far more important!
How about Social Security? Hmmm.... that seems to be off the table.

Fuck it. I'm going to lunch.

So I was watching Reality Stars' Fear Factor last night...
I love a story that begins that way!
...and Nikki McKibbin -

- notorious fashionista (gack!) and third place finalist from the first season of American Idol, between crying jags and antagonistic exchanges with the ever-charming ice witch Omarosa, mentions that her sister was on Paradise Hotel and Love Cruise!

OK, this may not mean a lot to the more refined and/or better educated in the crowd, but Gini and I both realized that there's only one person who meets that criteria:

Yes! It's that other flaming bitch and reality show villian, Toni Ferrari!!!

While she may have been outshined of late by that wife-beating jackass and porn producer (oops! I mean Encino "spa owner") from Amazing Race, she still sticks in my craw as one of the more distasteful people to ever grace a TV screen.

Yes, I know; reality shows all pull from a common pool of primadonnas who will do anything to be on TV. That's why shows like Joe Schmo and My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss are possible. However, when you find out that someone who made it to the final three on American Idol (which does require at least a bit of skill) is cut from the same genetic cloth as that "Game on!" bitch...well, let's just say it doesn't bode well for humanity. I wonder if Jeff Gannon is involved. BTW, that link isn't safe for work. Well, unless you work at the Water Garden or something.

Finally, I'd like to send you to Chris Rose's fabulous blog, which I'll be adding to my links page (since he stuck me on his, like the swell guy he is) and plugging shamelessly henceforth. Enjoy!

For some reason, I'm just not enthusiastic about anything lately.
The election has left me limp and useless, like a speedfreak's dick, while the whole inaugural debacle just made it worse. You know that there were people protesting it, right? Here are some pictures. You'd think that might have made the news. eh? Nope. Our notorious "liberal media" swept it right under the rug. Gotta keep the President safe and all. Can't let him see that somebody might disagree with his empire-building exercises. Nope, that would be wrong.

Here's how I feel:

It's like teaching at some sort of school for the retarded, only worse. At least retarded kids can learn simple facts that will help them through life, while these jingoistic chuckleheads who (if you watch Fox or believe the election results) represent the majority in the country are going out of their way to destroy us all.

Social Security? Come on! In 1964, Ronald Reagan said that Social Security was a socialist failure that should be eliminated immediately. He repeated that mantra throughout his career, despite being consistently shot down. Hell, our fearless leader even said it in 1978. Yes, he predicted that the system would be broke by 1988. Well?
What happened?
I'll tell you what happened: Reagan, unable to convince a majority of anybody to dismantle Social Security, had Alan Greenspan lead a blue ribbon panel to examine the program in the early '80s. They made a few adjustments here and there, taxing benefits and raising the retirement age, which extended the solvency of the program indefinitely. No problem. Unfortunately, thanks to the government's filthy habit of borrowing money from itself that's earmarked for other purposes (remember Al Gore's lockbox?), we need to reevaluate the system again. Again, no problem. A little tax adjustment here, a little increase in the tax brackets that pay into Social Security and there you have it - problem solved.
Funny, if Bush hadn't spent all of the $127 billion surplus he inherited on bogus "tax cuts" (that we are currently paying back in spades), we could have made Social Security and Medicare totally solvent. Hell, I'd trade my $300 for a secure retirement any day. I think I spent mine on a DVD player. Oh boy! That'll help a lot when I'm eating cat food in a garret at the age of 79!
Anyway, you should read this and anything else you can find that gives you a better idea of Bush's plans to ruin our future. Isn't it bad enough that he just submitted a budget that hacks education and social services but doesn't include the cost of the war? Are you out of your fucking mind?!!

OK, I need some aspirin.

Thank god for Sam Henderson.

you should check THIS out.
Gee whiz! I don't remember hearing anything about that in the liberal media.

Here are a few choice quotes from the inaugural address:

"For as long as whole regions of the world simmer in resentment and tyranny -- prone to ideologies that feed hatred and excuse murder -- violence will gather, and multiply in destructive power, and cross the most defended borders and raise a mortal threat.

There is only one force of history that can break the reign of hatred and resentment and expose the pretensions of tyrants and reward the hopes of the decent and tolerant. And that is the force of human freedom.

We are led, by events and common sense, to one conclusion: The survival of liberty in our land increasingly depends on the success of liberty in other lands. The best hope for peace in our world is the expansion of freedom in all the world."

I love the way that "freedom" is a vague term that seems to mean "our way of thinking".

OK, here's great line:

"From the day of our founding, we have proclaimed that every man and woman on this Earth has rights, and dignity and matchless value because they bear the image of the maker of heaven and Earth."

Oh yeah, that's just as long as they match the image of a Christian God. Did you notice that, during the benediction, the pastor said a few things about America being a great land of many faiths right before he blessed us in the name of Jesus Christ? Does that make any friggin' sense?!!

I was planning on going through his entire speech (which led me to shout at the radio several times this morning), but I just got a great email from the inimitable Gary Singh, leading me to an article by our good friend Greg Palast, which pretty much sums up a lot of my feelings. Here's a link to "Oaf of Office".

Nice stuff. While you were reading that, I scanned the text of Bush's speech and two words jumped out at me - "freedom" and "liberty". I think it's the height of irony that this liar can stand before the American people and invoke the two foremost tenets of our Constitution while doing everything in his power to remove these things from our reach in the name of national security.

I'll leave you with this. Sorry, there's no joy in Mudville today.

Enjoy!

Yesterday, our fearless leader made this idiotic statement:

"We have a calling from beyond the stars to stand for freedom, and America will always be faithful to that cause."

Y'know what? Go fuck yourself.
That's about all I can say; I'm so disgusted.

Yes! After I called her yesterday, Barbara Boxer joined John Conyers and Stephanie Tubbs Jones in challenging the election results. Here is her statement. Thank goodness somebody has balls in the Senate.

Now, I'm spending my lunch hour watching a dandy debate on C-Span. The Republicans are saying this is all a conspiracy theory and that Barbara Boxer was coerced into objecting by none other than the evil Michael Moore. I shit you not. Some jackass just said that.

Here's Scott McClellan's comment on the matter: "I think the American people expect members of Congress to work together and move forward on the real priorities facing this country, instead of engaging in conspiracy theories and rehashing issues that were settled long ago."
Long ago?!!!!
Two months?!!!!

I just hope that some of this gets on the news tonight. I have a sinking feeling that the Alberto Gonzales confirmation hearings will take precedent over the visible decline of our democracy. I'm sorry, but I just feel sick over this whole thing. The story has already fallen to number four on the AP ticker, just under some deaths in Mosul and an overturned Texas murder conviction. Fucking media.

Yes, Xmas is over and now we've just got to make it through the New Year's festivities. Not a bad prospect, although poor Gini's got overnight petsitting jobs for the next few days. This is her busy season, though, so we'll pull through. If nothing else, we'll get to spend New Year's Eve at a nice house in Silver Creek rather than our own hovel.

So, Xmas was a smashing success. Everybody got what they wanted (within reason) and some things we may not have. For example, Gini gave me a beautiful Mark Ryden print featuring Colonel Sanders, Abraham Lincoln and meat. Hard to describe, but fascinating viewing. To counter that, her Grandmother gave me an Elvis wall clock that plays (loudly) "Hound Dog" and "Don't Be Cruel" every hour. I wasn't even permitted to bring it home, so it hangs in my office. I'm sure that sometime today I will be yanking the batteries out and hurling them across the room. Merry Xmas!
The only thing that would have made it better would have been the addition of some Barbie perfume under the tree.

'Nuff said. Tonight I'm going to figure out a way to hook Gini's new pink iPod Mini up to a home stereo, because it just ain't New Year's without 2.7 days worth of music set on "party shuffle".
In the meantime, have a Flaming Jesus on me!

Yes, it's Festivus again, so get out the pole and prepare your list of grievances. Personally, I'll be readying myself for the feats of strength...

Honestly, is Christmas ever a snow-covered fantasy land filled with love?

Usually, it's more like this:

Well, I suppose it's better than using the "Jesus is the reason for the season" logic that leads down roads like this. Seriously scary stuff, especially if you explore the links. This could almost be a parody if it wasn't so serious. Check out the Halloween part. Oy!

On that merry note, here's a little something to put you in that holiday spirit. Enjoy!

Oh, and happy holidays (whatever they may be).