//--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- // Copyright © 2002 Bushman Technologies (http://www.bushmantech.net) - // TERMS : You may not remove above copyright statement. The rest of this message may be deleted. - // You may not remove the link to Qyoteserver homepage in the generated statement without - // consent from Bushman Technologies. - // Quotes from : http://quoteserver.bushmantech.net - //--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- // Author(s): Richard de Breyn - //--------------------------------------------------- // INCLUDED : 31 quotes. - // USAGE : Include this file into HTML document. - // In HTML document, include the line: - // - // UPDATES : http://www.bushmantech.net - //--------------------------------------------------- var qArr = new Array(); // Add quotes here. qArr[00] = ["Highlander (1986)", "I've been alive for four and a half centuries, and I cannot die.
Well, everyone has got their problems"]; qArr[01] = ["Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986)", "So you’re from outer space?
No, I’m from Iowa. I only work in outer space."]; qArr[02] = ["Superman II (1982)", "So this is planet Houston?"]; qArr[03] = ["Ghostbusters (1984)", "What do you mean 'bad'?
Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light."]; qArr[04] = ["Highlander (1986)", "Stop Sir, I beseech you. I apologize for calling your wife a bloated warthog..hehe..and I bid you good day."]; qArr[05] = ["Highlander (1980)", "Hi, I’m Candy.
Of course you are…"]; qArr[06] = ["Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)", "The dog? You’re named after the dog?!"]; qArr[07] = ["Ghostbusters (1984)", "Gozer the Gozerian: good evening. As a duly designated representative of the City, County and State of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activities and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension."]; qArr[08] = ["Sneakers (1992)", "Hey, Abby, C’mon… The F.B.I.’d give him twins.
No!"]; qArr[09] = ["Independence Day (1996)", "Oh, and on a personal note, sir, I’d just like to add that ever since I was kidnapped by aliens ten years ago I’ve been dying for some payback, and I just want you to know that I won’t let you down"]; qArr[10] = ["The Money Pit (1986)", "Mozart? Mozart is dead, his problems are over, help meee…"]; qArr[11] = ["The Karate Kid, Part II (1986)", "If you and Sato fought, would your father referee?
No referee
Then how do you know who wins?
The one who is dead, doesn’t."]; qArr[12] = ["The Abyss (1989)", "So raise your hand if you think that was a Russian water-tentacle."]; qArr[13] = ["Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993)", "Such rot, sir. Why you're the very model of sanity. Oh by the way, I pressed your tights and put away your exploding gas balls."]; qArr[14] = ["The Mummy (1999)", "You lied to me!
I lie to everyone, what makes you so special?
I’m your sister!
That just makes you more gullible."]; qArr[15] = ["The Patriot (2000)", "Pride. Pride is a weakness.
Personally, I would prefer stupidity."]; qArr[16] = ["Toy Story (1995)", "I just want you to know that even though you tried to terminate me, revenge is not an idea we promote on my planet.
Oh. Well, that's good.
But we're not on my planet, are we?"]; qArr[17] = ["Mortal Kombat (1995)", "I'm in a hostile environment. I'm totally unprepared. And I'm surrounded by a bunch of guys who probably want to kick my ass. I feel like I'm back in high school."]; qArr[18] = ["Big Trouble in Little China (1986)", "Don’t give up Jack!
Okay, I won’t Wang. Let’s just CHEW our way out of here!"]; qArr[19] = ["Director’s Commentary, Deep Blue Sea (1999)", "So we tried not to electricute the entire cast and crew, as that would have really slowed down the shooting."]; qArr[20] = ["Transformers: The Movie (1986)", "And how did you defeat them?
I’m trying to remember…there were an awful lot of casualties that day."]; qArr[21] = ["Running Man (1987)", "Hello this is Killian.
Give me the Justice Department, Entertainment Division"]; qArr[22] = ["Matrix (1999)", "You’re cuter than I thought. I can see why she likes you.
Who?
Not too bright, though."]; qArr[23] = ["Butch Cassiday and the Sundance Kid (1969)", "If he’d just pay me what he’s paying them to stop me from robbing him, I’d stop robbing him!"]; qArr[24] = ["Species (1995)", "We decided to make it female so it would be docile and controllable.
More docile and controllable, eh? You guys don't get out much."]; qArr[25] = ["Evil Dead 2 (1987)", "The first passage will allow the demon to manifest itself in the flesh.
Why the hell would we want to do that?"]; qArr[26] = ["When Harry Met Sally (1989)", "And was it worth it? The sacrifice for a friend you dont even keep in touch with?
Harry, you might not believe this, but I never considered not sleeping with you a sacrifice."]; qArr[27] = ["Jurassic Park (1993)", "All major theme parks have delays. When they opened Disneyland in 1956, nothing worked.
Yeah, but John, if the Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists."]; qArr[28] = ["Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)", "What’s Happening?
Well, if it was anymore quiet we could hear owls farting."]; qArr[29] = ["The Caine Mutiny (1954)", "I don't want to upset you too much, but at the moment you have an excellent chance of being hanged."]; qArr[30] = ["Army of Darkness (1993)", "Alright, you primitive screwheads, listen up: THIS... is my BOOM STICK!"]; qArr[31] = ["Mars Attacks! (1996)", "I'm not a crook. I'm ambitious. There's a difference!"]; qArr[32] = ["They Live (1988)", "I have come here to kick ass and chew bubblegum.
And I'm all out of bubblegum."]; qArr[33] = ["U-571 (2000)", "How far down does this ship go?
Oh, she’ll go all the way to the bottom if we don’t stop her."]; qArr[34] = ["The Godfather (1972)", "My father is no different than any powerful man, any man with power, like a president or senator.
Do you know how naive you sound, Michael? Presidents and senators don't have men killed!
Oh. Who's being naive, Kay?"]; qArr[35] = ["The Mask (1994)", "Most of the men in this town think monogamy is some kind of wood."]; qArr[36] = ["Wild Wild West (1999)", "Mr. West, not every situation requires your patented approach of shoot first, shoot later, shoot some more and then when everybody's dead try to ask a question or two."]; qArr[37] = ["October Sky (1999)", "What're the chances of us winning that science fair?
A million to one.
That good? Well why didn't you say so."]; qArr[38] = ["There’s Nothing Out There (1991)", "Why don't you put a sign on your chest that says 'victim'? Come on, use your brains for a second. David and Janet haven't made it back yet.
They've been gone ten minutes and they can take care of themselves.
Oh, sure, I'd call a penlight enough protection against anything."]; qArr[39] = ["Can’t Buy Me Love (1987)", "I need to talk to you. Everytime I call you're either taking a bath, washing your hair or you're out of the country. That was a good one, by the way."]; qArr[40] = ["Almost Famous (2000)", "If you think that Mick Jagger will still be doing the whole rock star thing at age fifty, well, then, you are sorely, sorely mistaken"]; qArr[41] = ["How to Steal a Million (1966)", "There's the bathroom, take off your clothes.
Are we planning the same sort of crime?"]; qArr[42] = ["GoldenEye (1995)", "You know, this kind of behavior could qualify as sexual harassment.
And what's the penalty for that?
Some day, you'll have to make good on your innuendos."]; qArr[43] = ["Love and Human Remains (1993)", "Sometimes I think there's something wrong with me.
I've never met anyone born after 1965 who wasn't incomplete somehow.
Why is that?
Microwave ovens, I think."]; qArr[44] = ["Dead Poets Society (1989)", "Why do we need language?
To communicate…
Nooo!! To woo women!"]; qArr[45] = ["Dogma (1999)", "You people! If it hasn't been made into a movie, it's not worth knowing about, is that it?"]; qArr[46] = ["Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)", "Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!"]; qArr[47] = ["Gone in 60 Seconds (2000)", "We might as well call prison and make reservations."]; qArr[47] = ["Rising Sun (1993)", "We're the good guys. Why are we running?
We're not running. We're eluding."]; qArr[47] = ["Field of Dreams (1989)", "The Voice is back.
Oh, Lord. You're supposed to build a football field now?"]; qUsed = new Array(); function BTJSputQ(){ x=gUQ(); document.open(); document.write(qArr[x][1]+"
"+qArr[x][0]+" "); document.close(); } function gUQ(){ z=false;x=0; for(var i=0;i<1;){x=Math.floor(Math.random()*(qArr.length));if(checkIt(x)) i = 1;} qUsed[qUsed.length] = x;return x; } function checkIt(val){ for(i=0;i