There's a bad place inside me
A black hole
I let all the negativity fall into it
And roil over the oily surface.

All the hate, frustration and pain live there
Kept apart from me, yet makes me.
"You're such a good listener!"
They tell me, as their words are sucked in.

If only they knew.

Once in a while I dip into it
Unable to resist being sucked in and
See images of my grandma before she died in pain,
That moment stored compressed with Daniel's stars.

I'm sure it will be the end of me.
There on the surface lie the ways
A gun. A rope. A fall.
I trail my fingers in the thoughts

Then watch them sink below, until next morning
When the ritual repeats.
Consider the options for a while
And face the day anyway.

Who ever listened to me?

I mean, I tried, yes?
"There are places to help"
So I go, and you know I'm not surprised to be told
"Too busy. Sorry. Some other time?

Better are friends who say
"You think that's bad, listen to what happened to me"
And more words sink into the hole.
Mock me if you will. I'll just stuff you in too.