The Goku (and Vegeta) show!
Chapter 1


*cheesy music as camera zooms in on desk*

Goku/Vegeta: Goodevening

Goku: Hi everybody, I'm Son Goku welcome to my show! We're gonna waste some air time talking to people, singing and generally being stupid... *ehem* anyway tonight's guest is someone very close to my co-presenter here. Let's have a big cheer for her it's Bulma Briefs ladies and gentlemen!

*audience cheers as Vegeta jumps to his feet*

Vegeta: Kakkarot! What's she doing here?

Goku: Well, I couldn't get anyone famous and Bulma really wanted to be on TV...

Vegeta: But-

Bulma: Hey! You know most people would be happy to be in the presence of a beauty like me!

Vegeta: *snort* oh yeah, beauty.

Bulma: *ignores Vegeta* so Goku what would you like to ask me?

Goku: Uhhh, what's it like being married to Vegeta?

Vegeta: We're not married you idiot!

Bulma: God thing too! It's always "Woman make my dinner" or "Woman fix my gravity simulator" or "Woman where's my pink shirt"

Vegeta: Aaaaargh!!! That's it!

*Vegeta jumps over the desk over to the stage, blasts the band guy to the next dimension and gives Goku a scowl*

Goku: Uh, well I guess it's time for todays song... by Vegeta, it's called?

Vegeta: My Heart is Full of Hatred

Goku: *sweatdrop* okay...

*cheesy music begins*

Vegeta: My heart is full of hatred and loathing

For your ugly faces and stupid clothing...

Like I said, I hate you jerks

What a bunch of stupid jerks

I smack you up and stomp you down

Stomp you back to ugly town

Or maybe I'll kick your fat ass

I am Vegetaaaaaa

You are craaaaaap

Help me out, I have no clue

What the hell gave birth to you?

You smell rank, like something dead

I can't tell your butt from your head

(from your head)

Now bend down and kiss my royal ass!

(ass!)

*music fades away and Vegeta sits down looking smug*

Goku: Well, that was...

Bulma: Stupid? Out-of-tune? Painfully off-key?

Vegeta: The word you are looking for, you retard, is 'true'.

Bulma: Ooooh you are sleeping on the couch tonight, you hear me! THE COUCH!

Vegeta: *raises an eyebrow* Now I'm scared.

*Bulma storms off the stage*

Vegeta: Mwahhahahahaaa - what is it Kakkarot?

Goku: You're a very bad man Vegeta.

Vegeta: Thank you

Goku: We're gonna cut to commercial now

Vegeta: Good

Goku: Would you stop that!



CHAPTER 2

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*cheesy music as the camera zooms in on the desk*

Goku/Vegeta: Good Evening

Goku: Hey everybody and welcome back! I hope you enjoyed the break. Since Vegeta drove away our last guest I sent him out to get another. He should be here in a convenient few seconds.

*maniacal laughing is heard as a hole is blasted in the wall and Vegeta arrives with Yamcha over his shoulder*

Vegeta: Hey there Kakkarot, I bagged me a guest.

Yamcha: Uuuhh... Puar help me...

Goku: Um, is he okay Vegeta?

*Vegeta throws Yamcha into a chair and slaps him a few times*

Vegeta: Wake up reject

Yamcha: What the... uhhh... hey, Goku! Help me out, Vegeta broke into my house and kidnapped me!

Goku: I know, I told him to get us a guest

Vegeta: And who better than a desperate, washed-up, z-list sports celebrity!

Yamch: Hey!

Goku: Vegeta! Stop harassing the guests!

Vegeta: *grin*

Goku: So Yamcha, how's life treating ya?

Yamcha: Well me and Puar redecorated the house, she was realy helpful with those hard to reach places.

Vegeta: *mumbling* yeah, I bet she was

Yamcha: And *laughs* and then *laughs some more* she got stuck in the microwave and I almost killed her and ate her but her shrill whiny screaming alerted me to her peril and I saved her but not before covering her in ketchup and trapping her in a hot dog roll for three days!! *laughs hysterically*

Goku: ...

Vegeta: ...

Yamcha: *suddenly straight-faced* Next question.

Goku: Ummm...

Vegeta: No more questions for you! You... you cat-torturing-pathetic-ugly- badlydressed-weakling!!!

Yamcha: Heeeeey!! I'll kick your ass for that!!! I am not ugly!!

Vegeta: Oh you will will you?

*Vegeta jumps over the desk to the stage and smirks at Goku*

Yamcha: *whispering* What's he doing?

Goku: *whispering loudly* He's recently taken to expressing himself through song

Yamcha: *whispering* oh... ok!

Goku: Well folks I guess it's time for another song, Vegeta what's this one called?

Vegeta: It's called I'm Gonna Kick Your Ass.

Goku: okay, let's go!!

*cheesy music intro*

I wanna kick your ass until your head falls off

Then I'll kick your head and kick your ass some more

Whyyyyy I don't think you got the message

Open the door sucker

It's Vegeta

Here to kick your ass

(Your ass)

I love beating people up

It's what I do

And if your lame ass had any friends

I'd kick their asses tooooo

Every time I see you coming I feel sick

But at least I know your ass is mine to kick

Whyyyy don't you bend that back-load over

Hold it steady

Vegeta's ready

To kick your ass

Aaaaaaass

I'm gonna kick your right cheek

Then I'll kick your left cheek

Then I'll kick both cheeks, right on in to next week

Gonna turn my foot sideways

Gonna kick that ass for days

There's another clueless chump

Time to let my foot meet rump

Kick your ass

Kick your ass

Kick your ass

Kick your ass

Lemme kick your ass

Kick you ass....

*music ends, Vegeta swaggers back to the desk*

Yamcha: *grits teeth* First you kidnap me, then you insult me, then you insult me more and then you insult me through song! Well no more!

Vegeta: *grin* Bring it on

*The screen fades out and much screaming from Yamcha*

Yamcha: Aaaah! No, not my kidney! NOT MY KIDNEY!!

*screen fades in to see Goku restraining Vegeta as Yamcha is carried away*

Vegeta: Kakkarot let me finish him off!! I must... BLAST HIM TO THE NEXT DIMESNION!

Goku: No Vegeta! That'd be wrong!

Yamcha: Uh... kill me... please someone...

Vegeta: Look!! He wants me to!

Goku: I'm sure that's just the drugs...

Vegeta: *sigh* Fine then... let's wrap this up

Goku: *huge Goku-style grin* Buh-bye everybody!



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