Infant - refused to take pacifier; screamed all the time when awake; would not nurse properly; slept at most 2 hours at a time; was happiest when sat upright even though he wasn't strong enough to support himself
Toddler - crawled for 1 week; walked at 7 months; climbed everything was frequently found on top of something over my head; very strong for his age; could physically remove or destroy most child safety devices such as cabinet locks, child gates; ingenious at getting to something he wanted no matter how you tired to put it away or out of reach; slept 3 to 4 hours at a time.
Terrible twos and threes - started becoming self destructive; would jump off high platforms, run into walls as fast as he could go which did significant damage to his nose, would bang his head on tables, walls, the floor repeatedly until someone intervened; many many many trips to the emergency room for crushed fingers, banged head, etc.; 2-3 calls to poison control a month; MD recommended having him see a shrink; advice not taken seriously; slept 3 to 4 hours at a time.
Preschool - had socialization problems but extremely bright; would frequently have to be restrained by teacher to keep him from hurting himself or others; removed from preschool due to financial problems; slept 4 to 5 hours at a time
Kindergarten - 4 suspensions from school by Christmas; examined by psychiatrist and psychologist and determined to be ADHD with very low impulse control. Put on Ridilin. Mistakenly got the generic of Ridilin the first time and he would not stop crying and would just sit on his bed and rock. Went back and got ridilin after 2 weeks he said his brain was talking to him and his teeth were fighting with each other. Father adamantly opposed to further medication. Attempted behavioral controls and anger management techniques with therapist. Slept 4-5 hours at a time.
1st grade - Put in private school with self paced learning and extremely structured environment at the recommendation of therapist. Frequent discipline problems associated with violent behavior, destruction of property, and attacking other children. Large problem with ignoring teacher and taking naps during school. At the request of the teacher, was removed from the school and home schooled last 2 months of school year and over the summer. Slept 3 to 4 hours at a time and at odd times.
2nd grade - Fantastic teacher determined to succeed. Came up with several very creative and effective methods of keeping Tim awake and working at school. Had him run in circles in the parking lot when he fell asleep in class. Took his chair away. One on one with the school secretary. Reduced the amount of work required on each page. By the end of the year, had about 20+ discipline reports, including sucking the mirror off the wall in the boys bathroom with a plunger, beating up kids with his lunch box, and boring a hole through his desk and into the wall behind it. Completed about ½ of the requirements for 2nd grade. Slept 3 to 4 hours a night. Would do science experiments at night while every one slept like burning candle and letting the wax drip into liquids to see what would happen, mixing various liquids together to see what would happen, playing with fire, soaking the back porch in kerosene to see if the wood would soak it up. Set fire to the sofa, burnt a rug in the playroom. Lots of property damage like broken door frames from him kicking in a locked door, shoved the door stop through the door, tore weatherproofing off the front door, painted the side of the house. Lots of incidents of instigating fights and cruelty to animals and to other children.
May, 1996 - sent to stay with his grandparents to give mother a break. On a trip to his aunts house, he set fire to the hotel room curtains to see if they were fireproof. Would run away and hide in stores, and some incidents of minor theft. Daughter moved out of the house due to problems with father. Mother and father separated during his absence. Daughter moved back home. Was on some type of medication.
June, 1996 - Sent to military camp for kids with problems. Taken off medication to see if just the structured environment would be enough. Had difficulty fitting in and getting along with other children. Was loved by all his counselors.
July, 1996 - Military camp called and informed mother that this was not working and suggested she make other arrangements. Primary problem was academic work, he simply refused to do it and after 4 weeks they had not gotten any out of him. Also was having difficulty with the other children and other children's tolerance of him was fading. Was placed in Cumberland Hall Psychiatric Hospital which specializes in children. Was tried on various medications and extensive testing was done. Mother visited for 1 hour, 3 days a week with a 4 hour drive round trip.
Aug. 1996 - Attempted to bring Tim home for just an overnight stay. It was a disaster. Did not feel I could handle Tim on my own. Put out an ad on the net for someone with DI experience (since Tim did react favorable to that discipline style) to come help me. Offer was for room, board and weekly cash settlement to be negotiated. David whom I had formed a friendship with in April discussed the possibility of taking on the job. I converted the Master bedroom suite into a separate apartment. After several discussions, negotiations, and background checks, David did indeed quit his job and move from Texas to Alabama to take the position. Tim came home on Aug 29.
Sep-Oct 1996 - Got Tim settled back home and got the new disipline style worked out for the household. After much fighting and difficulty got Tim into public school in special education. They insisted on attempting to mainstream Tim which did not work out at all and which the hospital had recommended against. Incidents included throwing chairs at teachers, stabbing teachers with pencils, running away from school grounds, and throwing broken glass at a teacher's aide. Tim was on paxil and navane. The navane caused him to sleep through the night for the very first time in his life.
Nov-Dec 1996 - On the recommendation of Tim's psychiatrist I began negotiation for work in the northeast, where services and top-notch psychiatric treatment was available for Tim. Research determined the best place was in Philadelphia and the second best was Fairfax County VA. Montgomery County MD came in a close 3rd. Several deals for employment in the PA area were attempted and did not work out. An offer from Falls Church did come thru. We moved over the Christmas holiday to reduce the amount of disruption to the children's schooling.
Jan, 1997 - Movers arrived Jan 4th. Began employment Jan 8th. Got Tim's IEP worked out Jan 11th?? He started school on the 17th. Got allergy testing done. Set up first visit to psychologist. Incidents include Tim knocking a 4 year old off her tryke when he was supposed to be appologizing, attempting to strangle a neighbors boy, running away in the snow without proper clothing, hurting a neighbors dog, stuffing the cat in the wall access, closing it up and leaving her there for 2 days.
Feb 1997 - The fun begins... Recent Events with Timmy:
Wed. Feb 12th, Tim's teacher contacted me and told me that Tim had had a really bad day and had been sent to the "Support Room" for a good portion of the day. Once home, Tim was only mildly disruptive, hitting his sister, and leaving the house without permission and throwing things in his room.
Thurs Feb 13th, David called and told me that the school had called and said Tim was too violent to be sent home on the bus and that we would have to go get him. I offered to go get him but I needed to do a couple more things at work. David insisted that he could find the school and would go get him. I called the school and was told that he had attacked a couple of teachers, kicking, hitting and biting them. I asked if everyone was alright and she said yes they were trained to handle this. I called David back and told him what I had found out and we discussed the fact that we were going to have to come up with some way to constrain Tim so that he could not hurt himself, hurt others or destroy property. I told Dave I was out of ideas and for him to come up with something. While on my way home Dave called me on the cell phone and told me he had taped Tim to his bed. I told Dave I didn't know but I wasn't really comfortable with that. We discussed some other alternatives none of which sounded really good. We finally decided to let him loose and sit him at the breakfast table with some sort of work to do so that he could be easily supervised. I called my mother and asked her if she had any ideas of what to do. She said no. When I got home Tim informed me that Dave had taped him up. I asked him if that got his attention and was he going to straighten up and behave now. Tim said yes. That was all that was discussed.
Friday Feb 14th, David called me at approximately 3 pm and told me that CPS wanted to see him and Tim as soon as Tim got home. I asked what it was about he said he didn't know. I called Mary Jo Lynch myself and was told that she wanted to see all of us at her office. Before I could get home (approx 1 hr drive), she had changed it to she would come to our house. They (Ms Lynch and a police officer) arrived approx 4:30 pm. They asked me how much I knew about what had gone on. I told them essentially the above. Then they wanted to talk to David and then my daughter, each of us separately with the others out of the room. Then they called me back into the room. They told me that they had talked to Tim at school that day and that Tim was telling that David had stuck a sock in his mouth and taped it. I knew from David's military background how he felt about such things and immediately discounted that portion of Tim's tale. Ms Lynch kept insisting that David would have to leave the home temporarily just until the investigation was finished. I became very upset. It was Valentines Day and David was going to be kicked out of our home because he had done what I asked of him. I kept asking them what should we have done. No one had an answer. They just kept telling me they were going to help me. Mary Jo then suggested the possibility of getting respite care for Tim. I agreed to that. She made several phone calls and by 9 pm it had been determined that none of the respite care facilities were sufficiently staffed to handle Tim. She did offer me 1 place that could take him until 1:30 the next day. Tim had gone to bed by this time and was asleep, so David and I decided David would leave instead. David went to a hotel.
Sat Feb 15th, Tim got up at approx 7 am . He ran in and asked me where Dave was. I reminded him of what had happened the night before. He said oh yea and headed downstairs whooping and hollering. I got up and called him back upstairs to make his bed. He told me he didn't have to and ran into the Den and turned on the TV. I woke April up so she could help me watch Tim. During the course of the day he out and out ignored instructions I gave, yelled at me, and told me if I didn't let him do what he wanted he'd get rid of me too. Several times he wanted to leave the house and go to a friends house that is several blocks away. I told him no because I knew he wouldn't pay attention to how cold he was getting and come back home when he got chilled. He'd done that just the week before. I was also very nervous about watching him by myself. By 11 I had managed to feed the kids and do a load of laundry. I got dressed and Tim and I went to Woodburn for the psych eval I had told Mary Jo I would go get. Tim was a little unsure of what was going on and was very quiet. We saw Dr. Jones at Woodburn, went over Tim's history, and his meds. During the course of our conversation Tim ripped the large metal button off his coat and started putting it in his mouth. I had to tell him twice to get it out of his mouth. Then he started using the button to scratch the chair and the desk. I got onto him several time about that. Dr Jones made some recommendations for changing Tims meds. Then he asked if he was supposed to give me a copy or send a copy somewhere. I was unsure so I called the hotline which was what Mary Jo had told me to do if I needed anything. I was told they were closed for the Weekend and it would have to wait until Tues. I told her I was here at the request of CPS and that they had told me that I had to get the eval Sat morning. She said there was no way to get a hold of my social worker til Tues. I left a message for her anyway. Dr. Jones just shook his head. I became very frustrated and Dr. Jones told me that those feelings were very understandable. Then he escorted Tim and I to the door and we left. When we got back home Tim told me he was going to a friends house. I told him he was not. He said yes I am and then pushed me. I grabbed him and pinned him to the floor. During the scuffle I got kicked in the face somehow. After about 10 minutes or so (seemed like forever) his breathing calmed and he seemed to have regained control. I sent him down in the basement to play with his toys while I did dishes. A few minutes later I looked out the window and saw him running across the yard without a coat and carrying a pointed stick that I have no idea where he found. I ran to the back door and yelled for him to get back in the house. He got angry and threw the stick at me and start to run off. I caught him and got him back in the house. I sat and talked with him and held him pinned down in the den until I thought he had calmed. I told him to sit right there while I went to the bathroom. I was only in there a few minutes. When I came out the front door was open and Tim was half way down the street with his pogo stick and cap gun. I ran out front and yelled for him to come back. He came as far as the driveway and informed me he was going to play in the back yard. I told him he was coming back in the house. He threw his things down and stomped into the house pushing me as he went by. I called the hotline and told them I needed help that I was not going to make it on my own. They said they would pass on the message and someone would call me. April came home and I asked her to watch a movie or something with Tim while I put up clothes. I few minutes later I heard yelling and screaming and banging. I went down to see what was wrong. Tim had been threatening to get April thrown out the house if she wasn't nice to him and had been throwing jacks at her and trying to hit her. She had in turn locked him in the basement. I let him out of the basement and sent him to his room. I made another call to the hotline requesting help. I went back upstairs to do the rest of the laundry and caught Tim several times trying to sneak down the stairs. I then went downstairs and took Tim with me and told him to play in the den. Once after turning my back for a few minutes I looked in to see what he was doing and he was gone. I tackled him in the foyer and after a struggle got him back into the kitchen and had him sit at the breakfast table. After supper I sent him to take a bath and then to bed at around 9. I talked to April about what had happened Thursday and asked her about whether or not David had put a sock in Timmy's mouth. She told me no. I was called back by Anne from CPS sometime between dinner and 9 pm. She said she would try to get a hold of Mary Jo. I told her that unless they could help me David was going to have to come back home cause I could not do it by myself. Anne called back later and said she could not reach Mary Jo and would try again in the morning. By this time I was coming totally unglued, and was mentally and emotionally exhausted. I went to bed. I heard a noise and Tim was crawling on his belly to the stairs. I sat up and yelled for him to get back in his bed. He screamed at me and slammed his door. April came in to see if I was alright; I could not stop crying. She sat a hugged me for a while and then she offered to sit up and watch Tim for a while so I could rest. At some point I dozed off, and something woke me and she was standing next to the bed. I screamed and jumped and she screamed. After I had caught my breath she told me Tim was asleep and she was going to bed. It was around 11 pm.
Sun Feb 15th, I woke up around 3 am and was all nervous and shaking and my heart was racing and beating really hard. I could stay in the bed so I got up and just picked up a little but I wasn't really paying attention to what I was doing. ( I know because later that day I looked for something I had picked up and never could find it. I have no idea where I put it.) Around 5 am or so I finally seemed to be calming down so I went back to bed. Around 7 am David called and woke me up because he knew Tim would be getting up soon. I was still feeling emotionally drained and David sounded severely depressed, so much so I was very worried about his heart condition. As predicted Tim was up a few minutes later walked into my room and demanded breakfast. I told him he would not talk to me that way I was not his slave. He stormed off into his room and slammed the door. I told him to get dressed and make his bed. I went downstairs and fixed him cereal. He came down and shoved the bowl across the table and said he wanted pancakes. I told David fixed pancakes; I didn't and that he could eat cereal. I called the hotline and left a message. Ann called me back and said she had been unable to reach Mary Jo but that she would try one more time. I waited and when they did not call back I called David and said come home. I sat down with Tim and asked him what would make him feel safe with David. He said if David would promise not to tape him up anymore. I got David to promise and we had things pretty much worked out. David and I sat in the kitchen and read the paper while Tim and April watched a movie. I needed to go to the store to get bread and milk and a few other things. I got both the kids dressed and myself dressed, and Mary Jo called. By this time I was very frustrated and angry at how they had treated me. I felt they had taken away all my support and then abandoned me. I pretty much unloaded on Mary Jo. She and I screamed back and forth at each other. I don't remember a lot of what was said but one thing that did stick in my mind was she said I was choosing a man over my children's safety. This was totally unfair of her I thought and I became very angry. She said she was calling her supervisor and that she'd call me back. I hung up and we went to the store. When we got out of the car, Tim jumped out and ran in front of a oncoming car. David ran out grabbed him and pulled him back to safety. While we were in the store several times I lost track of where Tim was but David was keeping a close eye on him and always knew where he had wandered off to. Shortly after we got back home, Mary Jo called back. By then I had cooled down and apparently so had she. We discussed whether or not I could make it without David until Monday when she had arranged for a place for Tim to go. I told her no. She said something about that I had to think about my child's safety and I told her that Tim was in more danger with just me to watch him than he ever was from David. This seemed to surprise her. She asked me what would I do if David was no longer around. I told her I would put Tim in a hospital until I could make arrangements for someone to come stay with me full time and help me care for him. That also seemed to take her aback. She said she'd call back. Shortly after this, I went upstairs and felt a breeze in Tim's room. When I investigated I found signs of where he had attempted to pry off the screen of his window. When I asked him about it, he said he was going to climb out his window to go play with his friends. It is 3 stories down to a bed of rocks beneath his window and nothing to break a fall. At this point I basically lost it and started crying and couldn't stop. About this time Mary Jo called back and said that Ann would be coming to get Tim. She told me to pack a few of Tim's things and a stuffed animal if he was attached to one. I sat Tim down and told him that he was going to have to go stay somewhere else for a while. He said he wasn't sure if he had done the right thing or not in telling his teacher about what Dave had done. I told him that while what he had done was not wrong I just wished he had given me a chance to work things out before he got other people involved because now Mommy can't fix it. About 6 pm they showed up to get him.
Mon Feb 17th, I did not hear from CPS all day. They had told me I would be able to talk to Tim but they had not given me a phone number to call and the offices were still closed. By mid afternoon, I was very emotional and weepy. I called mine and Timmy's therapist. He called back and I brought him up to speed on what had happened. He said he'd try to contact Mary Jo and find out what was going on and get back to me. He also made an appointment for me on Tues. I also called my old therapist in Huntsville who had worked with the entire family (except for David) for over a year . I left a message for her to call me back.
Tues Feb 18th, I called Mary Jo first thing and asked to talk to Tim. I had to leave a message with someone else because Mary Jo's mailbox was full. I talked to Tim's therapist and had an appointment with him at 11. He was unable to reach Mary Jo at all and when I got in touch with her she said she was having difficulty reaching the therapist. I did reach Mary Jo sometime that afternoon (I forget who called who). She gave me a number where I could reach Tim. I called there and was told all the workers were in a meeting and that all my calls with Tim would be supervised and there was no one to supervise. Mary Jo told me on the phone that she needed David's SSN and asked if I had it which I didn't. She asked where David was and I didn't know. Late that evening I called Tim again, and this time got to talk to him. He sounded fine with 2 exceptions: he was very concerned about going to court; he had not had his meds and it was 6:30. We had found that 5:30 was the optimal time to give him his meds. When I mentioned that to the workers there, they said that "They had the doctor's instructions". I knew that the time had been worked out between myself and Dr. Soloman verbally and could not recall it ever being written down. I sincerely question whether or not they had contact Dr. Soloman. I got home about 8:30 and passed on Mary Jo's message to David about the SSN. She had left a message on the machine around 6:30 for him to leave it on her machine. David was reluctant to leave that information on an answering machine and said he'd call her in the morning. April told me at dinner that Mary Jo had come to the school and questioned her again. The questions she recalled were about whether David had ever taped her. About whether David had ever spanked her. About in her opinion why had David taped Tim. And then a whole series of questions about a previous business associate and his son who April is sweet on. Critical factor here being that I connected with him via the internet and there was some implication that that was a bad thing.
Wed Feb 19th, David called me at work and told me he had been arrested and that bail was $22,500. He also told me that he had asked the police to call me and tell me what had happened because April had witnessed the arrest and had been left at home by herself. I called the school and insisted that they let April talk to me on the phone so I could be sure she was alright. She sounded very depressed but otherwise seemed ok. It was very upsetting to me that they had arrested David in front of her when if they had waited until just a little later she would have already been at school. I don't understand the purpose of traumatizing April. She's a child too, so doesn't she deserve their protection?? Instead its almost as though they are deliberating trying to hurt her. After I got David home I went to work for a short period and then came back home. David was a quite a bit of pain from where they had cuffed him and torn something in his chest. I talked to my old therapist in Alabama and also to Dr. Nelson. He and Charlotte had talked and exchanged information. I had called Mary Jo and left a message for her to PLEASE talk to Dr. Nelson. She did and he felt reassured that Tim was in the right environment and that we were all on the same sheet.
On 26 Feb, Wed. I spoke to Stephanie at Calico Corners who is responsible for Timmy. I first called around 3:30 pm and was told that they were dealing with a problem with Tim and she could not talk right then. I called again around 6:30 and she told me that the problem had been that Tim "escalated" over something relatively minor. He was upset because he wanted cake for snack and they weren't having cake for snack. She said he started hitting staff and ran out of the building, not far just up and down the street and in the yard. She said he was threatening staff with a fairly large tree limb. She relayed that they decided he was doing it for attention and decided to go inside and leave him out there. It worked; he came in also. She said that he managed to get himself back under control once inside and that today had been the FIRST day that he had not had to be physically restrained. She continued to tell me that the rest of the day had gone pretty well until dinner time. When she went to tell him that they were having cake for dessert she found him in his closet eating the cake that he had snuck out of the kitchen. She also stated that I had been right when I said that one adult could not take care of Tim by themselves.
3/3 Discussion with Crista from Calico Corners
Discussed how Tim was doing and what methods of behavior control were being used. Asked about his appointments with Dr. Nelson and Dr. Bergman. Provided her with the pamplet on devices to use in the home for Tim's allergies. Asked about the air filter whether they wanted it for Tim's allergies. Went over the procedures for what to do if he has a bad allergy attack. Asked for the daily reports on his behavior for my records as well as for Dr. Nelson. Got Tim's meds refilled and had the doctor write down the time that I had worked out with Dr. Soloman for the evening dosage.
3/6 Phone Conversation with Shirley
Said she would be unable to meet with grandparents and would I relay the message. Said they could still see him. Told me that there was some issue about Tim's clothes and to talk to Zach. I brought up the discussion we had had earlier about Tim going to a therapeudic foster home. I told her I had some concerns about leaving Tim in the care of just 2 people. She said that they had custody and they would make that decision. I told her that I was interested in what was best for Tim and that it seemed to me that they were setting him up to fail and that I was worried someone was going to get hurt. She said it was just a discussion at this point and that was because the current method of behavior control was working. I asked what was the criteria to be used to determine when a method was a success. She said she didn't know. I told her I had an input if she was interested and she said she was. My idea is if a method is consistantly working for more than 2 weeks it should be considered a potential success and that if it continued to work past 4 weeks I'd call it successful. Anything that continued to work past 8 weeks was a resounding success. I asked her who would make the decision: she said she was unsure to ask Zach Lehman. I asked her if the people in the therapeudic home were degreed psychologists. She said no they were trained by the foster care agency. I asked who provided the training and could David and I get the training? She said she didn't know. That they used Braley and Thompson and that they would refer Tim's case to Braley and Thompson and they would determine IF they had a suitable home.
Call to Zach Lehman
Zach was not in neither was Stephanie Dressin. I talked to Beth the director of the home. She said Tim was out today on a field trip. I told her I would be very interested in how that went. She said that Tim was short on clothes that fit. I told her I'd got thru his room and the hand me downs that we have and see what I had left at the house. She said that they were trying to arrange transportation for Tim so he could make his doctors visits. She said that Zach would make the recommendation to the Social worker on where to place Tim but that his was not the decision. The recommendation would be put together by the team with Zach acting as liason. Zach is a licensed Social Worker with a Masters in Social Work. The rest of the team has a Masters in Counseling and is working on a Masters in Counseling and has Bachelors. I repeated my request to have the daily reports on Tim be provided to me and his therapist. I also asked what criteria they use to determine the success of a method of behavior control. She said she'd have Zach call me back.
Current Method of Behavior Modification for Tim as relayed by Calico Corners
They made a contract with him for 3 goals. Every 30 minutes they go over the goals and give him any reward he has earned. The reward is in the form of play money. He may then buy things from the store or he may purchase privileges such as dessert, TV, computer time etc.
April 11, 1997
Calico Corners gave DFS a week to move Tim to another place due to his out of control behavior. He's been leaving a lot for up to 30 minutes and attacking staff. They're moving him to a place called Child Help today. Funny, today is my birthday. They wanted me to drive him to Child Help by myself. It's an hour and half drive. Now lets see, he's too violent to stay where he is but I'm supposed to drive him somewhere I've never been before by myself....NOT. They finally agreed that 3 of us will drive him out there. Child Help sounds like a neat place and on paper they sound like what he's needed all along. I hope so.
May 10, 1997 - Lawyer's not great but I hesitate to say he's all bad. He's a part time judge who knows the system well which was why we hired him, but I've not been impressed with his preparation before going into court. He got them to null process which is I believe the same as drop the felony abduction charges, but he recommended a albert plea on the misdemeanor abuse charges. Albert plea was according to him no admission of guilt but that the court might find us guilty if we went to trial so we skip that and go to sentencing without wasting the courts time. He was hoping to get it continued and then dropped. He requested and I&R (investigation and report) be done for the judge. He felt that the judge who is close friend of his, would read the report, continue it for 1 year and if there were no more episodes, drop it. According to my lawyer, thats common practice. The I&R is to be presented on the 23rd.
That is one set of hearings. The other set is a finding on whether my child is abused and neglected since they have him in custody. The county attorney there says the albert plea is an admission that the evidence us was overwhelming (which its not in my opinion). They keep saying that because we won't say that the way we restrained him was cruel and bizarre, that we are need in psych counseling and that my 12 yr old daughter is at risk from us and must be monitored weekly. They have developed a Foster Care plan that insists that we state that we were wrong and appologize to the children and never, ever use physical discipline on them again.(The residential program where he is right now, is having to restrain him between daily and 3-4 times a week.) This next hearing is the 24th July (I think), but I have weekly fights with social services over this.
The catch is that he HAS to be found abused and neglected for them to keep him, and he needs to be where he is. So if I fight this too hard, he could come home prematurely. But the Foster Care Plan is a different matter. I'd be willing to look them straight in the eye and say the sun is purple and dogs fly, if they'd just go away. They don't know what they are talking about and I'm so tired of trying to educate them. But my fiance adamantly refuses to say that he did it wrong (other than the tape over the mouth part). Social Services and he don't get along too well. That plus the fact that when they cuffed him (in front of my daughter) and pulled him down the stairs, they damaged his chest again, and he is still hurting.
Right now in addition to the appology, they are going to require us to go to parenting classes to learn how to discipline children. I'm guessing that they won't cover appropriate discipline for when your child hits another child on the head with the claw of a hammer and blood is going everywhere (the kid is ok, head wounds just bleed but then you know that), or appropriate discipline for when you child throws his desk at his teacher, or stabs her with a pencil, or threatens the aide with a broken bottle, or what you should do when you child punches holes in his bedroom wall or breaks the glass in his window, or hmmm lets see....sets fire to the playroom, soaks the back porch in kerosene, stuffs the cat in the plumbing access panel and seals it, chokes a child for annoying him, knocks a 4 yr old off her tricyle when she didn't accept his appology for his earlier behavior the way he wanted her to, pops his teacher with the end of a jump rope, and I can't think of any others right now....oh wait, when he was at the foster placement right after they removed him from our home, he got mad at a staff member and held the gerbil hostage and threatened to kill it.
May 23, 1997 - We went to Court and the bottom line is probation and 1 year continuance and then possible dismissal. We lucked out in that the judge truly understands...he has 2 autistic grandchildren who have to be locked into their rooms. The County Attorney stood up and said that the amount of restraint used was well over and above anything that was needed. I could have cheered when the county attorney got finished and the judge said that children who have no fear do require that much restraint.
David has to see a parole officer every month and keep seeing this shrink that's friends with all these court people. Personally as a shrink he leaves A LOT to be desired.
David is in a bad mood and keeps lecturing me on everything. Problem is the lectures aren't for me, they are for members of the court but I'm the one who gets to listen.
I see my son tomorrow. The brilliant people at the residential program decided to take him off his meds and see what he's like. I guess that approach has merit but as a mother it seems more like poking a rat in maze to see what he'll do. I just want to scream stop experimenting on my child. After about 5-6 days they decided that the doctors and I were right and he did need to be on the meds. I get so tired of everyone thinking I'm stupid and just because this isn't how they would like for things to be that I must be wrong. I want someone in the whole system to give me some credit for being intelligent and able to study up on these areas. Sometimes I feel like getting my PHD in Psychology just so I can shove it up their noses. I could probably already get a good ways thru a dissertation on this topic just from what I've lived thru and researched.
The social services people want Tim to be further analyzed and studied because "we don't have a clear diagnosis here". I keep trying to tell them that they can study all day and it will still not be clear because its a mixture of problems. I guess that's untidy so they don't want to accept that as the answer.