Roubidoux is a book of true tales of the Huckleberry Finn type adventures of a boy who journeys from delinquency in California to Southern culture in the Missouri Ozarks. Although told through the eyes of a twelve year old who never grows old, much of the real life adventure is emotionally timeless with appeal to all ages. Brutally honest at times but never off colored. Excerpts from from Chapters 1 and 10 of Roubidoux may be read below. The book is published by AuthorHouse (888-519-5121) and may be ordered here.

Chapter 1

The Introduction

“If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster and treat those two imposters just the same..." Rudyard Kipling

His name was Joe. At least that is what he told us when we first met him that Saturday morning many years ago. His voice drifted up the stairwell from the living room to our bedroom and woke us at our house at 1636 E Street in Napa, California. Although I had never met him before, there was something telling in his voice. He was a confederate, a noble Southern gentleman, and a rebel who had lost the Civil War. It was almost like being in the lobby of a theater featuring Gone With The Wind where you could hear the actors' voices but not see the picture. And yet the voice was so vivid you could almost envision the picture and anticipate the thunderous theme music breaking in at any moment and blending with this strong but gentle Southern accent we heard. All of this was going through my mind as I descended the stairs from our bedroom with my brothers. I liked this guy before ever I laid my eyes on him. I was nine years old. He was in his thirties and as far as I knew this was his first date with my mother. It seemed a little strange since it was a Saturday morning. Could not remember if my mother ever had a guy over on a Saturday morning before, but this guy was different. He actually enjoyed talking to kids. I think he even made pancakes that very first Saturday, and he certainly made pancakes just about every Saturday after that for a long time. He made the best pancakes I ever tasted and he would keep making them as long as we would eat them. Me and my three brothers and sister had never eaten so well at breakfast.

Chapter 10

High School

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…. " Elizabeth Barrett Browning

As captain of the football team it was my chore to crown the homecoming queen who happened to be Susan Akins, the girlfriend of Roy Rastorfer, another guy on the team. Having re-injured my rib in a subsequent game after West Plains, I was not supposed to play in the homecoming game and thought that it would be improper for me to crown the queen if I did not dress out to play. So I suggested that maybe Roy could crown the queen since we were all pretty sure his girlfriend Susan would be elected homecoming queen. Since I did not date girls and never got personal with them, the word got out that I was afraid of kissing a girl in front of the entire county at the homecoming football game. This got entirely out of hand. It got so bad that Principle Millman stopped me in the hall at school in front of everybody and said, "Mike, you are captain of the football team and you are going to crown the homecoming queen. If you don't want to kiss her, that's fine. You can shake her hand, but you are going to crown her!" Now I was totally humiliated. Here I was arguably one of the toughest guys in the entire school and yet now I had the reputation of being afraid of kissing a girl. I was determined to do this and told the coach that I was going to dress out to play. The coach kept all the players in the locker room during homecoming festivities to concentrate on the game and only the co-captain, Bob Shelton, and I jogged out to perform our homecoming chores. On our way out there Bob said, "Mike, I swear I'll kill you if you shake her hand!" I assured Bob that I would kiss her. Bob and I were standing in front of the crowd flanked by cheerleaders with the four homecoming queen candidates facing us. Mr. Hardin was on the PA and announced that Susan was the homecoming queen and asked her to step forward. The crown was on a pillow being held by Connie Ragain, the cheerleader standing next to me. Well this was show time and I was determined to do this right. I took the crown and placed it on Susan's head. I held her shoulders as I bent down, turned my head and pressed my lips to hers. A few seconds later I backed off and assumed my position next to Connie and Bob thinking I had pulled it off without a hitch. But Mr. Hardin over the PA said to me with the entire county listening, "Mike, you did your usual good job, but we didn't get a picture of any of that, so let me walk you through it all again." A photographer jumped out of the crowd with a camera and flash. Mr. Hardin then said, "Now we know you already crowned her but just pretend like you are crowning her for the picture." So I did. "And now the kiss." I held Susan's shoulders again, bent down and turned my head and pressed my lips to hers again. A few seconds later I again assumed my position between Connie and Bob thinking well at last this thing is over. But something was terribly wrong. Everyone was laughing, including Mr. Hardin over the PA. Mr. Hardin finally gained his composure and said to me with the entire county listening, "Mike, you again did your usual good job, but the flash didn't work. You'll have to kiss her again!" So I did it all again, only this time I did not close my eyes as my lips met Susan's lips and I lingered with my lips pressed to hers a little longer to make sure the photographer got the picture. By this time the chemistry between Susan and I began to kick in. Sparks were flying, electricity was flowing, the earth stood still. It almost got romantic. Susan was the first girl I ever kissed and I never will forget it.

Michael Knauff
4612 Maria Street
Chattanooga, TN 37411-1209