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This idea needs some explanation, especially as the writer has used it. In the final analysis, the concept of the “Self-made” person, and the person of high quality and high character are NOT contradictory. They are quite complimentary!
When we hear that a person is a “self-made” man or woman, we usually think that means they have been able by the shear power of their person to “make things happen” in order to reach some goal of power, wealth, or influence. An ability to control the situation, to bend its forces to do one’s own will. (“Having succeeded in life unaided.” ... The Random House College Dictionary) The writer feels very strongly that such a person has never existed, and can never exist. That (dictionary) definition is pure myth. The sort of person it is usually applied to has first created himself using the inputs of many other people as a starting point. That creation of self can result in a good person, or in an immoral person.
The choice of the phase “self made” was probably a poor one, as it seems to carry negative baggage. The writer does not know what would be a better short and catchy phrase that might be substituted. He is open to suggestions.
In the simplest of terms it means the person has consciously guided himself during his development. He has asked questions of himself about how he wants to develop. He has made an effort to "internalize" guidelines to help him in life.
Conversely, a person who is not "Self-Made" has been created by the bombardment of many influences. Nature hates a vacuum. If you do not set your own rules for life they will be set by others without you even knowing what they are! Some are good. Some are bad. Some are downright evil. Many are contradictory to others.
Self-made means the person is firmly in control of his life. He knows very firmly who he is and what he believes. He makes judgments based on what is inside himself, rather than what other people think. He doesn't have conflicting internal rules he doesn't even understand.
Without first being Self-Made, there is little or no foundation upon which to rest self-discipline! IF a person doesn't know where he is going (in life) or how he can get there, THEN he has nothing upon which to base self-discipline!
What happens if the student is not led to make himself into a quality person by choosing good Life-Goals and good Life-Rules? Again, nature abhors a vacuum. The student will unconsciously acquire Life-Goals and Life-Rules. These can be based upon the widely varied and often immoral or negative Goals and Rules learned unconsciously from entertainment, movies, music, advertising, misguided adults, and peers.
The Bad News is . . .
Some people never make the effort to "make themselves." They end up with whatever guidelines and rules that have entered unchallenged into their minds. Rules that have been put there without the person really knowing it. If a person does not actively make himself, then he will be "made" by many others. These moldings of the person from the outside result in a mass of internal guidelines that are very inconsistent. The person has what is called a nonintegrated personality. Their life rules are not consistent with each other. Such people are likely to be unpredictable, confused, and confusing.
The really bad news is . . .
Some people choose poor guidelines and self-rules. Some choose outright evil. These become our worst criminals. They are called sociopaths.
TV programs, movies, TV commercials, magazine advertisements, radio, and music lyrics. From parents who themselves may be mixed up. People with agendas. People with things to sell you. Politicians who use scare tactics to try to get elected. From your peers, who themselves may be working with poor or bad perspectives. They come from everyone and everything that communicates with you. Even if they are not out to influence you, these sources virtually always carry messages - some good, some bad.
What are some Negative Life-Goals and Rules-Rules?
Life-Goals and Life-Rules operate in the background (beneath our conscious RADAR.) Unless there has been a meaningful effort to be self-made, we are usually not aware of these goals and rules. Not being aware, we cannot call them to consciousness to examine them for their applicability or wisdom.
Consider: A person's future life is dramatically controlled by their Life-Goals and the Life-Rules they live by. Doesn't it just make very good sense that they should NOT be left to chance?
Wouldn't it be very much better to guide children to embrace and accept as their own, good Life-Goals and good Life-Rules? That is what the personhood curriculum tries to do.
The self-made person knows and has internalized the answers to questions such as:
It is questions like these, when answered well, that guide the person in everything he does. Self-Made people want to be the best they can be, according to their own guidelines and goals. They judge themselves. They make an effort to improve themselves when they have failed in something.
What we become is always the result our own actions or inaction. A person is never "made" by one or a few specific other persons (such as parents or teachers).
Say you want to build a house yourself. You could buy some plans and select materials and the things you want in your house. You buy lumber, plumbing stuff, tools, some do-it-yourself books, etc., and get to work! - - - It's not a good idea to go to architect school so you can draw your own plans, to mine the ore to make the iron to make the nails that you have to invent to use to build the house! Use what already has been created!
Being self-made does not mean the person must totally invent himself. To do that would be to ignore the results of many great thinkers and the wisdom they have produced over the ages. None of us would be able to generate the wisdom of the many generations before us. Being self-made still allows you to pick and choose ideas presented by other people. "That is a good rule, and I understand how it works. I will internalize that rule and make it my own!" We can also add our own wisdom to the mix.
We need good answers to these questions:
- * How do you pick the Life-Goals?
Here are some tools involved in answering the above questions.
Lessons found on this site attempt to teach the above tools. There is no claim that the material is complete. It is a good start.
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A teacher is only able to present information and ideas that a person can use to make himself, if he chooses to do so. The teacher can facilitate the learning process, should the student want to learn. A teacher knows that he cannot make a person into someone he doesn't what to be. Far too often we see students who have decided they don't want to learn. It is sad because we know that if that pattern should persist the student will have a rough life!
The teacher's big roll is to instill the desire to become a quality person. Once that is done, the teacher become the conveyor of information. We don't teach: we aid, we facilitate, we encourage, we help them over the rough spots. If a student is not motivated to learn, our efforts become ineffective (for that student). (Instilling an internal motivation to learn is one the purpose of this site.)
An observation made by this writer, and he believes is true: "Children want desperately to learn how to be grown up." It is that key this writer is trying to use in much of his work on this site.
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Most people, and especially children, do not think deeply about how they want their life to develop. It usually does not happen spontaneously without external influence. But how can anyone make good choices about Life-Goals or Life-Rules if they don't even know what the choices are and the pros and cons for each choice?
The self-made person the writer has in mind is one who has been led by his teachers and / or family to choose good goals and good rules. Goals which are truly based on the student’s best self-interest. This teaching task is what the writer calls
“Expanding the student’s self-interest horizon.”
Next, the teacher needs to guide the student to learning, accepting, and applying a set of Life-Rules he will use to reach his Life-Goals.
The self-made person’s Life-Goals and Life-Rules have not been established as a result of some random lottery of items unconsciously absorbed from the wide range of inputs thrust upon the student from every conceivable source. He has consciously chosen those that are good for him. That is what self-made means!
The self-made person knows what his Life-Goals are, and how to reach them. It is at this point his self-interest horizon should be expanded (with the help of teachers and family) to include his lifelong love of learning and education!
He is not easily distracted from his quest. It is not possible to dangle some other goal in front of him to pull him off his course. He is not susceptible to peer pressure. He knows what are his own Self-Interests, they are good, and he knows they will benefit him. He can sort out the stuff that comes his way, discarding the bad and negative, and taking in what is good and of benefit to him. (With the help of positive guidance from teachers, he is “self-making.”)
Life-Goals and Life-Rules have to be recognized by him as in the student’s self-interest, or they will not be internalized. To start, they need to be general, but well supported with specific examples. Once taken in and internalized, the student is beginning to be self actualizing, in the best possible sense.
Because it is not happening elsewhere in many children's lives, educators MUST assume the responsibility of teaching these internal goals and rules, and establishing them to be in the child’s own self-interest. In the early years we are actively laying the foundation to later help the student grow towards a strong and positive character. We can present good morals and ethics as Life-Goals. If a person has a strong Personhood, they are much better able to withstand the temptations of the media, advertising, and peer pressures around them.
(If teachers are doing the work the writer describes, he would welcome and enjoy hearing from you! Send Email.)
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In life, it is best to put yourself in control. When someone says "Lets do such-and-such," the first thing a Self-Making person asks himself is "Does doing such-and-such fit into my Life-Goals and Life-Rules? Does it lead me towards what I want to be, or away from what I want to be? Will I have to break a Life-Rule?
In other words, don't let other people control you. Especially peers who are struggling to grow up, and who likely don't have a good set of Life-Goals and Life-Rules.
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Some people argue that we can't teach morals or ethics because we cannot trust other people to decide what those morals and ethics will be for our children. Let us look at the logical extension of that idea.
If morals and ethics are not taught in a school, then many of today's children will grow up to be amoral and unethical. This will happen because their parents and family will not teach them. Many of the other influences present today will push them towards negative results.
Societies advance because knowledge, beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors are passed down generation to generation. This includes ethics and morality.
In the relay race called "The Generations,"
The evidence is there. It is happening now. Just look at the corporate moral and ethics failures taking place over the last decade.
Some people even go so far as to assert that the choices should be
made some time in the future, and left to the child to make those
choices!
The idea is both ridiculous and dangerous. It doesn't even bother to pretend that parents will teach morals and ethics. It assumes that the children of each generation will be able to establish in a very few short years the same wisdom which has taken mankind thousands of years to collectively generate! Even if various alternative moral and ethical positions are taught with equal footing, children are usually not perceptive enough nor wise enough to make a good choice. That task would be greatly confounded by the immoral and unethical forces at play in the advertising and entertainment businesses. In the vast majority of people it will not happen!
I suspect this idea is held by people who chafe at the standards imposed upon them by morals and ethics. It is their unrecognized agenda to let people do whatever they please, because that is what they would want for themselves!
Given the alternatives of formal teaching in school, vs. no teaching
at all, this author would select formal teaching of character,
morals, and ethics. Let the society move forward by slow and careful
changes made in its systems, rather than destroy them and slide
backwards at an ever accelerating rate.
