Your kids have grown up with the Internet and probably understand how to use it better than you do. But what are they using it for? What do kids get out of the online world?

            Thanks to modern assistive technology, many kids with disabilities are participating in the Internet revolution too. They’re online with a devotion that equals, or perhaps exceeds, that of their nondisabled counterparts. However, they may face greater risks from it than other kids.

            What are the pros and cons of the online world? What, if anything, can parents do to protect their kids from its potential dangers? And just what are kids with disabilities using the Internet for, anyway?

A Daily Occurrence

Melinda Quinn’s 9-year-old son, Trey, who has cerebral palsy, is on the computer for one to six hours a day, seven days a week. Much of that time is spent online. What does he do online? He does schoolwork, plays games and socializes, she says. Quinn cites the game-playing site Webkinz as a favorite destination for fun and friendship. Trey likes to chat online, and exchanges e-mail “with all his friends, not just friends with disabilities,” says Quinn, who lives in Atlanta.

            There is a downside to all this computer use, however, one shared by able-bodied and disabled alike. “It keeps Trey from physical activity,” Quinn says. If Trey were not physically disabled, she “would limit his time on the computer in favor of playing outside, except for homework and limited play time. But because my son is limited in what he can do physically, [the Internet] is a good recreational outlet for him.”

            For Trey, “the best thing about online activity is that it puts him on an equal footing with other people,” Quinn says. “Online, he’s just like everyone else.”

Level Playing Field

This sentiment is shared by many other parents. For Kathy Graves’ son, Sam, 15, who has CP and uses a power wheelchair, the Internet is “a level playing field. He can use it just like anybody else. Physical disability really doesn’t matter in this realm.”

            Like many kids his age, Sam frequents YouTube, where he can enjoy videos and listen to music. One of his other favorite sites is www.SIKids.com, the online counterpart to Sports Illustrated For Kids magazine. But Sam also uses online resources for academic work. Sam’s teachers scan his English books so he can download them and read them on the screen as well. Graves encourages her son to use the technology available to him and urges other parents to do the same. She calls this modern technology “an amazing leveling tool.”

Risks

While all parents worry about the potential dangers of online access for their children, they differ in how strict they are about precautions. Graves, for instance, sets clear limits on Sam’s online activities. “We talk about never giving anybody your name, not using real names when registering for games, and never responding to e-mails if you don’t know the sender,” she says. She advises other moms and dads to “set parental controls and watch your kids” as they navigate the online world.

            She’s exactly right, experts say. “Talk to your kids before they ever get e-mail access, or cell phones with text or instant messaging,” says Julie Herzog, a bullyingprevention coordinator at the Parent Advocacy Coalition for Educational Rights, or PACER Center, in Bloomington, Minn. “Have a conversation about what is appropriate communication, and not sharing your phone number, address, passwords and other personal information. Before they get in too deep, you need to establish rules and regulations and trust about how the technology should be used.”

 

Keeping Secrets

Ensuring your child’s safety online is an ongoing dialogue, not just a one-time speech. Kids need to feel comfortable letting an adult know right away if something online makes them wary. “They should tell you if something is happening so you can figure out solutions together,” says Herzog. Many kids, she says, avoid going to their parents out of fear that they’ll lose Internet or cell-phone privileges. “If the parent reacts by just cutting off access to technology, it’s overreacting. Kids need that access. It’s part of their world.”

            “When you set up your computer profile, you can limit access on the Internet to certain websites,” Herzog says. In addition, a number of programs allow parents to set Web-surfing limits. Kim King, a mom in St. Charles, Mo., uses an application called Cybersitter to block certain sites and green-light others. Nonetheless, high-tech censorship is no replacement for keen parental supervision. The family computer, she says, is kept “in the kitchen, so I can keep an eye on it at all times.”

Designating OK Sites

Elizabeth Jaggi, a mother in Alpharetta, Ga., has another way of controlling Web access. For her son, Christian, 9, who has a neurological disability, she and her husband “add the good sites to our Favorites list, so he can pick anything off the Favorites list and know it has our thumbs-up. That’s an easy way to control his Web use.”

            Before venturing onto a new website, however, Christian knows he must ask permission — and he usually obeys. “We’re pretty strict about what sites he can go on,” says Jaggi. “But one morning he asked if he could go on Webkinz, and I said OK. A few minutes later my cell phone beeped and there was a message about my ‘love crush.’ Sure enough, he was on some new website!” Jaggi laughs about the incident today, but adds, “We do have to monitor him sometimes. My sister jokes that one day a mailorder bride will show up at the door, and it’ll turn out to be something Christian ordered!”

 

Cyber Bullies

Most parents, says Herzog, really don’t need to worry about online predators —  adults who coax children to meet them offline — because such occurrences are in fact extremely rare. More common is online bullying among kids themselves. “There really aren’t as many kids as you might think giving out their phone numbers and addresses and developing relationships online as there are kids who are being bullied,” she warns, “and that’s something parents should be aware of.”

            Cyber bullying — like its physical counterpart — often happens within a child’s own peer group. “Because it’s not face-to-face, electronic communication makes bullying easier for a lot of kids who would not otherwise behave that way,” Herzog says. “And now, with the Internet, the kind of harassment that used to happen only on the schoolyard is happening 24 hours a day, and it’s coming into the home.” After a disagreement at school, for example, one child might send the other an e-mail or text message that says, “Everybody hates you” or, “I’m going to get you.” Less blatant but equally potent is electronically spread gossip that slanders someone who has no idea it’s going on.

            Such bullying can be especially hurtful for kids with disabilities, who often are socially isolated, emotionally needy or vulnerable to fake praise. These children might not have developed the ability to read social signals, to be guarded against seemingly friendly overtures and not take them at face value. Worst of all, many kids who are harassed keep it to themselves. They are ashamed, figure they can handle it on their own, don’t believe mom and dad can help, and, again, fear parents will react by taking away access to the electronic world. “It’s the same code of silence that happens with physical bullies,” says Herzog.

            She advises parents to keep the lines of communication with their kids open at all times.

Watching What They Watch

“As a parent, I would monitor Internet use whether my child has a disability or not,” says Karla Hughes, mother of Elina, 12, in Claremont, Calif. Elina, who has CP, uses a joystick to access her computer but often relies on help from her mother or teachers. “If Elina is not online, it’s usually because I’m not around,” her mother says.

            Elina has identified and solved most of her own “tech needs,” Hughes says. She participates in a large, inclusive sixth-grade literature class, a departure from her usual class of 10 kids who all have disabilities. “At first, Elina was worried she wouldn’t be able to keep up with the students who do not have disabilities, or express what she wants to say within the group,” her mom recounts. But in time, Elina found, she not only could keep up but could also teach other kids how to communicate with her via e-mail. “The students get to read every day that Elina really has a lot of compelling thoughts,” Hughes says.

            In the Hughes household, the Internet is used as a wide-ranging resource. “This is where we get just about all of our information now,” says Hughes. She lists everything from Girl Scouts to other youth groups, accessible camps and action alerts about disability-rights events, as well as “the new design styles of wheelchairs or adapted bikes.”

            Her mom encourages Elina’s interactions with the electronic world. “As I release more responsibility to Elina, I’d like her to feel more confident with the Internet,” she says. She likes the way the Web enables her daughter to “see the world and experience it from different viewpoints.”

            For example, Elina visits Bookshare, an online library for people with “print disabilities,” where she can read books online and make the fonts any size she wants. Together, mom and daughter followed the 2008 election online, keeping up with all the twists and turns and researching points of interest that arose. “I envision Elina having a better chance to be meaningfully employed and do most of her work through the Internet,” Hughes explains.

            Yet she also acknowledges an ulterior motive: Hughes likes the breathing room she gets when Elina is involved on the Internet. “When you have a child with a physical disability, things are much different in regard to your personal attention level. I’m so involved in Elina’s everyday care and activities that I really welcome the independence she can achieve on the computer,” she says.

            Still, for the time being Hughes keeps a careful eye on her daughter’s online activities. Her advice? “The Internet is a fact of life now. Learn how to use it safely and stay informed,” she says.

World of Opportunities

Jaggi agrees. The Internet, she says, “can open up a huge world of possibilities.” Besides going online with his mom to research the latest adaptive equipment and activities, Christian uses it to research medical procedures he knows he has to undergo. He has to have an operation every four to six months, and online research allows him to familiarize himself with the procedures and lingo in advance. One of Christian’s favorite online destinations is Edheads, where he can perform virtual surgery. “It’s like a game, but it’s actually educational,” says his mom.

            Less educational games have their advantages too. Christian often invites school friends over to play computer games such as the ones on WebKinz or another favorite site, Disney’s ClubPenguin. “We have two laptops, so friends can sit at one while Christian goes on the other, and they can interact,” Jaggi says. “Even though he’s in a power chair and can go fast, if Christian goes out to play with his friends he may have trouble keeping up. It’s nice for him to play with them without worrying about that.”

            King concurs. Computer games played with friends help her son Tyler, 13, who has Duchenne muscular dystrophy, “feel ‘normal,’ and in some ways they allow him to take out frustrations.” All the other kids are online anyway, so Tyler’s Internet play enables him to “keep up with things his friends are all talking about.”

Academic Benefits

The electronic world in general, and the Internet in particular, helps kids with disabilities keep up academically as well. Many students find it easier to look up words and research ideas online than to manipulate large reference and text books or even go to a library. For some, it’s easier to read electronic text, which allows you to change the font style and size, than the printed page. Some find it easier to write electronically than with a pen or pencil as well.

            Christian Jaggi “does all of his homework on the computer because it’s too laborious for him to write,” his mom says. “He’s able to download assignments onto his laptop, and he can cruise through things quickly this way. It’s super, because it means he can keep up with his peers, whereas otherwise the time it would take him would keep him behind.”

            Of course, for the Internet to be used academically, it helps if your child’s school is onboard. And the relationship is mutually beneficial. The more kids learn about computers and the online world, the more they use them, and the more they use them the more they can learn.

            So pay attention to your kids when they’re online — not just to protect them, but to witness their skills. “I’ve learned my kids are better at getting around the Internet than I ever thought they would be,” King admits.

Grateful Parents

For many kids with disabilities, access to computers and the Internet can be written into the Individual Education Plan (IEP). This is especially true if computers are used in the classroom, as they are more and more. In some cases the synergy between the student with a disability and the technology- equipped classroom is staggeringly effective. Elina Hughes is “so very lucky that she has an assistive-tech classroom,” says her mother. “Our kids [with disabilities] can finally participate with others. We thank God just about every day that Elina was born in this technological age.”

            Hughes notes, too, that she’s grateful for hard-won equal-access laws.

            She’s not alone in her gratitude. Despite the potential dangers of Internet usage, most parents seem to judge it more of a good thing than a bad one. “I’m thrilled that it’s this way for Christian,” says Jaggi. “If he’d been born when I was, these opportunities would never have been an option. The electronic world is a real blessing.”  

 

 

www.BenMattlin.com